Chapter Eight

Cress awoke in the early morning hours to find that she was one of the first to face the new day. The others were still sleeping soundly around the dim embers of their fire from last night. Pan had snuggled up beside her all night, and Cress was careful not to wake her as she got up and made her way to the tent. She had hoped that Azha had managed to get a little sleep, but after one look at her, she knew that wasn’t the case.

Azha’s eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles under them, and she moved like her whole body was stiff and ached. Cress could tell that she had been crying, and when she saw the blanket pulled up over a body near the back of the tent, she realized why. Cress paused at the opening of the tent, not wanting to intrude on Azha’s personal space while she was clearly grieving, but there was something in Cress that made her cross into the tent and sit beside Azha, who had her head in her hands.

Phoebe and Atlas were both resting peacefully under their blankets, which meant the body had to belong to Thule. Cress nudged Azha gently, stopping just short of putting her arm around the younger girl’s shoulders. “How are you feeling?” It was a stupid question, but Cress was unsure of how else to start their conversation.

“Like a failure,” Azha said, her voice muffled by her hands. She didn’t look up at Cress, but she knew that Azha was sniffing and was probably still crying. “Thule died some time last night and there was nothing I could do to help her. Maybe if I was a better doctor—”

“Don’t think like that,” Cress said, her voice quiet. “There’s nothing you could have done without an operating room and a team of doctors. Even the doctors back on the Olympus might have had a hard time saving her, and they’ve had years of training and even more years of practice. You did the best you could.”

“But she still died,” Azha said, her voice hoarse. “And I think Phoebe’s leg is infected. It’s too early to tell, but it feels warm and it won’t stop bleeding. In a few hours it’ll start developing pus, and from there, she’ll get a fever and maybe start hallucinating. Soon, she’ll die from the infection, or maybe dehydration. Either way, there’s nothing I can do for her with what limited supplies I have. I don’t know whether I should tell her to prepare her for the worst, or pretend that everything is okay and give her false hope.”

“So there’s no hope for her then?”

“I don’t think so. She’s lost so much blood that her body just isn’t strong enough to fight off an infection. I’m sure she’ll go in her sleep just like Thule did, never knowing that her life came to an end. Maybe it’s best that way,” she said, her voice thoughtful. “Maybe I should let her last hours be worry free. It would be easier on both of us in the end.”

“Azha, she’s not stupid. She’s going to know that she’s dying. I think it’d be best if you just let her know you’re going to do everything in your power to keep her alive. Don’t promise her anything, don’t lie to her, and just try and stay positive. A good attitude might do wonders for her health. You never know.”

Azha didn’t look too convinced, but she gave Cress a weak smile. “Thanks for trying Cress, but there’s nothing that can make me feel better right now, unless a ship were to magically appear and rescue us so they could be saved. But I doubt that’s going to happen.”

“No, it won’t,” Cress admitted. “But we’ll just have to find a way to manage until we can be rescued.”

“Unless it’s soon, they’ll come too late to rescue Atlas and Phoebe.”

“Just do your best. And for now, try and get some sleep. It looks like you’ve been up all night. You can’t take care of them if you’re so exhausted you can’t function.”

Azha nodded. “Okay, Cress. I’ll try and get some sleep. But first, how is Pan feeling? I know she was injured in the crash.”

“She’ll be fine. I told her to sleep here in the tent last night, but she refused, so she must be doing okay. Thanks for asking.”

Cress turned and exited the tent, her eyes scanning the clearing for anything to do. She settled on the jagged piece of metal that they’d used as a makeshift shovel, and she dragged it over to the line of freshly dug graves and began digging the next one in the row. She hadn’t gotten very far when Harlow came up to her, his eyes wary as he watched her.

“I know I’m not the best leader around, but I hope you’re not plotting something by digging this grave,” he said, his voice light and teasing.

“Thule died last night,” she said, silencing his jokes. “I thought it’d be best to get her buried before the others woke up and freaked out.”

Harlow was silent for once, and Cress went back to digging. It was intense work, and she had started sweating through her shirt. It clung to her uncomfortably, but she did her best to ignore it. Surprisingly, Harlow grabbed the other shovel they had and began digging alongside her. They dug together in silence, and by the time the hole was finished, the others had started to wake up. When Rigel saw what they were doing, he quickly began to ration out their breakfast as a way to distract the others.

It worked just long enough for Cress and Harlow to lower Thule’s body into the ground. Once they had started to cover her with the freshly dug dirt, someone pointed out what they were doing and everyone flocked over in a panic. While Harlow finished covering the grave, Cress had to explain to everyone that she had succumbed to her internal injuries from the crash. Some looked like they were nearly in shock, while others cried silently as they started losing all hope.

Breakfast was finished in silence, with Cress barely tasting whatever Rigel had given her. She noticed with a pang of worry that their food rations would only last them until lunchtime, meaning they would be going hungry for dinner if they didn’t figure something out soon. Nobody had gotten a chance to explore the area for any sustainable food, or even fresh water. There was no way they were going to find enough food to feed everyone. Unless some food source fell into their laps, they were doomed.

She looked to Harlow, who didn’t seem to be all that worried. She almost wanted to smack him for being so careless with their meager rations, but the damage was already done. If they had been careful, their rations might have lasted closer to three days. But our morale would have been in the toilet. Everyone would have been tired and hungry and scared. At least this way they’ve got a full stomach. At least for the next few hours…

Pan made her way over to where Cress was standing, careful not to look at Thule’s fresh grave. Cress’ eyes darted at all of the graves, and she felt a pang of sadness that their graves would be forever lost to their loved ones, alone and unmarked. “Somebody should make some grave markers,” she heard herself say. “So we can remember them when this is all done.”

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Pan said, her voice quiet. Cress noticed that her friend had a slight limp in one leg, but other than that, she seemed to be doing better than she had been the day before. A decent night of sleep must have helped her calm down and rejuvenated her. “Maybe you and I can get started on that later.”

“I’m not sure I’d be any help with something like that,” Cress said. “I’m not the most artistic person. That’s more up your alley than mine. I think I’m gonna go out and look for some food and water today.”

“Okay,” Pan said, her eyes lighting up. “I’ll come with you!”

“No,” Cress said, shaking her head. “I want you to stay here for now, Pan.”

“But—”

“But nothing. Your leg isn’t fully healed and you won’t be able to keep up very well. And if something were to happen out there, you might not be able to run to safety. It’s too risky for you to leave camp. You need to stay here until you’re better, okay?”

Pan looked like she wanted to argue, but Cress gave her that look they shared that told her there would be no more discussing it. There was only a handful of times they had used it on one another, but this was something that Cress refused to budge on. Pan would not only be at risk of getting more injured, but she would be a liability as well. It was safer for everyone if she stayed behind in camp, where she could rest and be protected if something bad happened.

“Okay,” Pan said, looking down. “I don’t want you out there without me, Cress.”

“I’ll be okay. I’ll take someone else with me.”

“Who? Harlow?” Pan snorted, her nose wrinkling in disgust. “The only person I would trust you out there with is Rigel, and he’s injured, too. He shouldn’t have gone to collect firewood last night, but that wasn’t too far from the camp. A real trip out onto the planet is different. I think it’d be too much for him.”

“Then I’ll ask someone else.”

Pan sighed. “Why does it have to be you that goes exploring? Why can’t you just be content to sit here in the camp and help out?”

“Exploring is helping out. And besides, I can’t sew, I can’t build grave markers, and I can’t help Azha with her patients. I’m pretty useless here, actually. At least this way we’ll get a feel for the planet, and we might find some food and water. Besides, after watching my mom for years, who knows, maybe I’ll be able to recognize what’s edible and what isn’t unlike Harlow.”

Pan couldn’t argue with that logic. “Who are you taking with you? You’re not leaving camp with just anybody. I won’t let you.”

Cress smiled, touched by her best friend’s concern. “I’ll ask Oberon or Saros. Or maybe Vega. Would that make you feel better?”

She nodded. “Yes, it would. Literally anybody but Harlow, please.”

“Did I hear my name?” Cress and Pan shared an eyeroll as Harlow came up behind them, oblivious to their reaction. “What are you two ladies talking about over here away from everyone else?”

Cress turned to him, doing her best to hide her annoyance. If he was going to be their ‘leader’, she should at least try and be respectful. “I’m going exploring today, and Pan doesn’t want me to go alone. She’s actually trying to talk me out of it altogether.”

“Well, she’s right about you not going alone. That’s not a good idea. You should at least take one other person. In case you forgot, there are convicts on the loose out there. And they do have weapons.”

Cress paled. She had almost completely forgotten about the convicts. With everything that had been going on, she’d been so focused on herself and the safety of her fellow students and friends. She hadn’t really given them a second thought since crash-landing, and yet they were still out there—possibly close to their camp—and she had been planning on just trekking out into the woods by herself with no real protection.

What was I thinking?

“Um, Cress…” Pan drifted off, looking suddenly uncomfortable. She began to fidget with the hemline of her shirt, and Cress knew that whatever she had to say was going to be bad. Before she could prepare herself, Pan continued. “Your dad is still out there somewhere, too.”

Cress felt her stomach plummet to her feet and even further into the ground. Her breath hitched in her throat, making it impossible to breathe. Her head began to spin, and she stumbled forward. Pan and Harlow both steadied her until she gasped for air and was able to regain her balance. Forgetting about the convicts was one thing, but how could she have forgotten about her father? They had been separated and finally reunited, only to be brutally ripped apart again, and she hadn’t even given him a second thought since crashing.

What if he was being held captive by the convicts? What if he was already dead and she could have saved him?

A thousand thoughts were swirling around her mind like one of the deadly sandstorms on the planet she had been forced to study for her astronomy class last year. The name escaped her right now, but the sandstorms were known to be able to strip a man’s flesh in minutes. And right now, her thoughts were as dangerous and volatile. Even though she knew it wasn’t safe out there, she had to find her father before it was too late—if it wasn’t already. The wheels were turning in her mind as she began to plan her trip into the heart of the planet.

They didn’t have any food to spare, or any water, so she would be forced to go seriously under prepared. There was no telling how long it would take to find her father, and she wouldn’t make it long out there by herself. And there was the convicts to consider. How would she stay safe without any kind of weapons? All she had was the knife tucked away under the hem of her pants, but that wouldn’t do her much good against their weapons.

Her eyes flicked to Harlow, who was watching her with trepidation. Harlow has the gun he took from Daimos. If I can get him to come with me, I’ll at least be somewhat safe from the convicts. That only leaves the elements, any indigenous life, as well as starvation and dehydration. Piece of cake.

“Harlow, you’re coming with me,” Cress said, her tone not allowing for refusal. “You’ve got a gun, and I’m going to need it if I run into the convicts.”

“Excuse me?” Harlow said, his eyebrows raised into his hairline. “I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. You’re clearly not in the right frame of mind right now, and you need to sit down and think things through. Don't rush into something half-cocked and get yourself killed. That’d really suck for you.”

“I’m not leaving my father out there for the convicts to find first. Either come with me, or give me the gun.”

He laughed, but there was zero humor in it. “You’re kidding me right?” His hand tightened around the gun he had tucked into the back of his pants, and Cress had to resist the urge to try for it anyways.

“Harlow, I’m going out there to find my dad. Are you gonna make me go unarmed and helpless?”

He groaned, and the sound was like sandpaper on Cress’ ears. She felt her dislike of him rising to the surface quickly, and it wouldn’t be long before she exploded at him and all pretenses of civility were gone. She needed him—or at the very least his gun—but he was making it hard for her to not just rip that gun out of his hand.

“Harlow, please. This is my father we’re talking about. He could be out there right now, dead or dying. I have to know for sure. What if I can save him?”

“And what if you die trying? How would he feel about that?”

“I won’t know until I ask him,” she said, folding her arms over her chest. “I’m leaving, with or without help. You can’t stop me.”

“What’s going on over here?” Oberon asked, his voice full of curiosity. “You guys look like you’re having a secret meeting.”

“More like a secret argument,” Saros said, joining his cousin. “What’s up? Something we should all know about?”

“I’m going to find my dad,” Cress said. “We need food and water, and I need to find him. It only makes sense that I go explore, but Harlow thinks it’s a bad idea. He’s trying to stop me. Unsuccessfully,” she said, staring Harlow down.

“He’s not wrong,” Saros said, the voice of reason. “There are killers on the loose. And I hate to sound insensitive, but your dad is one of them.”

She snapped her head in his direction, her eyes narrowing into the deadliest glower she could manage. He actually took half a step back, his eyes widening a fraction. “Don’t ever say anything about my dad.”

“Cress—”

She knocked Pan’s hand away. “I’m leaving. Now. Anyone that wants to come with me is welcome to. I might need help bringing back any food or water I find. But if none of you wanna help, I’ll go by myself.” She turned to Pan and put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be alright out there.”

“I wish I could believe that,” Pan said. Instead of trying to talk her out of it anymore, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Cress, holding her tight. “Be careful out there. Don’t do anything stupid, please. You can’t leave me alone on this planet.”

“I would never,” Cress said, squeezing back.

Without another look at the cowards behind her, Cress started her trek into the trees, leaving the camp far behind her.