THE EXCITEMENT WAS BUILDING as we girls walked together to the poolroom that night. We were laughing and joking and speculating on the colors the boys would turn when they found us shooting pool.
“You know, girls, this is the best time we’ve had together since we all acquired boyfriends,” I told my friends.
“It goes to show you that boys aren’t everything,” said Fran. “We can have plenty of fun without them.”
At that, Donna started singing some feminist song about being a woman. We all laughed and joined in with her. We linked arms and marched up the hill to the Heights poolroom, singing as loudly as we could.
People passing in the street stared at us as if we were crazy, but we didn’t care. This was our big night—we girls were about to conquer the poolroom!
But when we got to the entrance, our courage faded fast. The poolroom was located above some government and social security offices, up a flight of stairs. The entrance was dark and dingy. The paint was flaking off the walls, and a rancid odor permeated the air.
“Phew—this place stinks!” Roz wrinkled her nose. “Are you sure you really want to go up there, Linda?”
I wasn’t, but I didn’t want to say that. After all, this had been my idea. As I was wondering how to handle this one, I spotted Chris Berland coming up the street. My answer had been sent to me!
Chris was big and Chris was strong. Chris was always nice to girls. He was the perfect person to escort us up to the poolroom and show us how things were done up there.
“Hi, Chris!” I bounded up to him and gave him my biggest smile. “You wouldn’t be heading up to the poolroom by any chance, would you?”
“Yeah, I am,” he said.
“Well, we girls were just heading up there ourselves. Since it’s our first time, we were hoping you—well, uh—we’d like you to—uh, would you—-uh?”
“Show you around?” Chris finished my sentence and grinned.
“Yeah,” I grinned back in relief. I knew Chris was the right one to ask.
We followed his muscular body up the steps. “After you, ladies.” He held the door for us and we filed in to the infamous male stronghold we had been curious about for so long.
What we saw was worse than I thought it would be. Pool tables stretched in two long rows down either side of an aisle, and the only lighting was from flourescent fixtures directly over each table. Deep shadows took over the rest of the room, creating a dark, furtive, and sinister atmosphere that made me shiver. The awful smell was stronger here, as it originated from two bathrooms located near the entranceway. A thick haze of smoke filled the air and made it difficult to breathe without choking. And the sound of men laughing and cursing and of balls clattering was so loud it hurt my ears.
“Ugh,” said fastidious Roz. “Let’s get out of here!”
“We can’t,” I told her. “We’re here for a reason. If the boys find out we chickened out and ran when we got here, we’ll never live it down.”
“She’s right,” said Fran, who can be nuttier than I can. Her support gave me the courage I needed.
“Chris, what do we have to do to get to play?” I asked.
“Go up to the desk and ask Charlie to assign you a table and clock your time,” he said, “Then come back here, pick out your cues, and start to play.”
“Will you show us how—I mean the finer points of the game?” I was a bit embarrassed to admit that none of us knew the first thing about how to shoot pool.
“Sure,” he grinned. “It’ll give me some time to sharpen my skills before the guys get here.”
That’s how Chris came to demonstrate to us the basics of the game of pool. You made a bridge with the fingers of one hand and rested the long cue on it. You figured out what angle the ball you wanted to get into the pocket needed to be hit at in order to get it there. Then you aimed the white ball so it would hit the other ball at that angle. You took your shot and hoped for the best.
The game was a lot harder than it looked. If you didn’t hit it right, the ball could go wild all over the table. Or even worse, you could miss and scratch up the green felt table covering. The game required a lot of concentration.
I take my games very seriously. It’s a carryover from when I was younger and a tomboy and had to prove I was as good in sports as the boys were. So I was concentrating carefully when it was my turn to try to hit the number three ball into the corner pocket.
I was concentrating so hard that I was unaware the boys had entered the poolroom. I was unaware of the shocked and angry expressions on their faces when they saw us there. I was unaware they had come over and surrounded the table, and were watching me take aim for my shot. And I was unaware that Lenny was standing behind me.
I took my shot. The white ball connected with the three ball almost exactly where I wanted it to. Click! The ball landed right in the pocket.
“All right!” I yelled triumphantly and looked around for approval. When I saw who was there the words froze right in my throat. My friends looked pale and frightened; the boys looked angry, and Chris looked amused. But it wasn’t until I saw the look on Lenny’s face that I realized the full impact of what was happening. He was absolutely furious!
“W-what do you think you’re doing here?” he sputtered.
“P-playing pool,” I said simply.
“Didn’t I tell you—” he began. Then off he went into a tirade about how the poolroom was the boys’ special place and they didn’t want a bunch of girls spoiling it for them. As he spoke, he got himself angrier and angrier. His face got red and the veins in his neck stood out—a sure sign he had lost his temper.
Donna, at least, was not afraid of Lenny. “Why don’t you shut up, Lenny? We didn’t come here to listen to your mouth.”
“Oh yeah? What did you come up here for, then?” Billy brought his face real close to hers and growled.
That quieted Donna down fast. She might not have been afraid of Lenny, but Billy had her right where he wanted her.
“Might I remind you, Billy, that we have as much right to be here as you do,” I said. “We came here to learn to shoot pool, and we intend to stay here until we do!”
“Or until our hour is up, which may come first,” Fran tried to inject a little humor.
The boys were not amused. They gathered around us as if we were some sort of criminals. Of course Lenny was the only one who came up with an ultimatum. “If you don’t get out of here right now, Linda, that’s it for us. We’re through!”
I stared at him in disbelief. Could he be serious? It was true we hadn’t been getting along the past few days, but most of the time our relationship had been great. Lenny had told me that he loved me and how wonderful I made him feel. Could he really mean he would break up with me if I didn’t do what he demanded? I couldn’t believe that of him.
“That’s ridiculous, Lenny. All we’re doing is shooting some pool. We’re not hurting you in any way.”
“Oh no?” He came over and grabbed my arm. “Well, let me tell you something, Linda. I don’t like having any girl I’m associated with seen in a sleazy place like this. If you don’t care about your own self-respect, it’s bad enough. But if you don’t care about my feelings and embarrassing me, that’s it as far as I’m concerned. So, make up your mind. Would you rather shoot pool or have me for a boyfriend?”
Of course I would rather have Lenny, but something inside me refused to give in to his threats. I didn’t think Lenny had any right to be embarrassed by what I was doing. I had as much right to be in the poolroom as he did. I had gotten the girls to come up here, and I wasn’t going to lose face in front of them and the boys, too.
“Let go of me,” was all I said, pulling away from his grasp. Then I walked around the table to find the best angle for my next shot.
“Okay, Linda, have it your way. It’s over!” He spit out the words. “Come on, guys. Let’s get out of here!” With a last glare at Donna and Roz, Billy and Sheldon followed Lenny out of the poolroom.
We girls finished our game, but all the fun had gone out of the evening for us. We went for ice cream sundaes to try to cheer ourselves up.
I couldn’t eat mine. I stared at the mound of whipped cream piled over the strawberry ice cream and syrup, and pushed it around with my spoon.
“Come on, Linda. It’s not so bad,” Fran tried to comfort me. “Lenny was just angry. I bet he didn’t mean it about breaking up.”
“Sheldon and Billy were angry, too,” I pointed out. “But they didn’t break up with Roz and Donna.”
“That’s because Lenny is a hothead,” said Roz. “And truthfully, so are you. Both of you want to prove something, to get the best of one another.”
“Roz, how can you say that?” I asked. “I wasn’t trying to get the best of Lenny. The only thing I wanted to prove was that we girls can have fun on our own and do whatever we want to, the same as the boys can. And that includes going to the poolroom.”
“Well, I think you did prove that,” said Fran. “We were having fun until the boys showed up.”
“But is it worth the price we’re paying?” asked Donna. “The boys could decide to stay mad at us forever.”
“I don’t think so,” said Roz. “They’ll quiet down once they realize we’re right. Even Lenny, Linda. I’m sure he’s not going to really break up with you over something silly like this.”
I took heart at what Roz said. I couldn’t believe Lenny would break up with me over something silly like this, either.
* * *
The next day was sunny and warm for late October, and I knew everyone would be out at the park taking advantage of the Indian summer. It was the kind of day I loved best. I would have been feeling wonderful if it wasn’t for this ball of fear sitting in my stomach, fear of what might happen when I saw Lenny.
He wasn’t at the wall when I arrived. Ellen wasn’t there either. I couldn’t help wondering if they were together somewhere. As the afternoon wore on with no sign of either Lenny or Ellen, the fear kept growing. I had to find out the truth.
I cornered Sheldon and asked him to take a walk with me. Roz had been right about him, at least. He was no longer angry about the poolroom. He seemed perfectly willing to tall about Lenny.
“He went to New Jersey with his mother to visit his aunt and uncle,” Sheldon told me. “He said he probably would be gone all day.”
“That doesn’t sound like Lenny,” I said suspiciously. “He doesn’t get along with his mother. Why would he go with her to visit his aunt and uncle?”
“This is his favorite aunt and uncle. Besides, they had a belated birthday gift to give him, so he wanted to go get it.”
“Oh. Now that sounds like Lenny!” I couldn’t help laughing. I made the decision to be open with Sheldon. After all, he had been the one to get Lenny and me together in the first place. “What do you think, Sheldon? Was Lenny serious about breaking up with me last night?”
“Well, I don’t know how serious he was. But he was plenty angry,”
“But why? Don’t you think we girls have a right to go to the poolroom if we want to? Pool isn’t a game that’s only for boys!”
“Well, if you’re really interested in learning the game, the bowling alley has pool tables. So do a lot of other places where the atmosphere is nice. It’s just this poolroom that we object having you come to. I guess we want to look at it as ours.”
“But why?” I asked again.
“Because it’s a fact that boys have certain needs apart from their girlfriends. We need a place to go to be with each other, a place where we can cut loose, let off some steam, and just be one of the boys. We like to look at the poolroom as our place to go to when we feel like that. It’s nothing personal against you girls; it’s just the way things are. And it’s probably something you’re going to have to accept, Linda—if you want your relationship with Lenny to work out.”
I thought a lot about what Sheldon had said because I did want my relationship with Lenny to work out. What if Sheldon was right and Lenny did need the poolroom to go to to let off steam and be one of the boys? I could understand that because there were times we girls needed to be by ourselves, too. If I tried to stop Lenny, he could only wind up resenting me for it. And I didn’t even like the sleazy old poolroom anyhow. It probably was better to let the boys have it for their own.
* * *
Sunday was another beautiful day, and our crowd had arranged to go to Central Park together for a game of co-ed football. I was hoping Lenny would be among the kids who gathered at the wall, but he wasn’t. Neither was Ellen.
This time Sheldon didn’t know where Lenny might be. “He knew about the game today. He was supposed to show up,” was all he could tell me.
Once at the park, I tried to keep my mind on the game, but it was hard for me to do. I kept thinking about Lenny and whether he was with Ellen. Besides, the game wasn’t a very good one. The boys were so much bigger, stronger, and faster than the girls were. They kept passing the ball to each other and hardly gave us a chance to do anything. It was frustrating.
I had no patience for this kind of thing today. I was considering quitting the game and going off for a walk by myself, when Roz elbowed me in my side. “Look, Linda. Isn’t that Lenny approaching?”
I looked and saw it was. I could tell his body that seemed to be getting taller each day and his bouncy walk, even from a distance. My first reaction was to be glad he had showed up without Ellen. Then I was filled with fear at how he might react to me, and I was tempted to run away. But I couldn’t—not in front of everyone in the crowd.
I hung back uncomfortably on the outskirts of the group that went over to greet Lenny. He didn’t even look at me and I was sure he was still angry.
Chris, who was the organizer of the game, assigned Lenny a position on the opposite team. This was good because I wouldn’t have to get too close to him if I was careful. Also, it was motivation for me to start paying attention to the game. With Lenny on the enemy team, there was nothing I wanted more than to make some outstanding play that would enable our side to win.
I saw my chance when Chris threw a pass meant for Sheldon. Danny managed to knock him out of the way. There was no one in position to catch the ball, but I was close. I took off running, trying to intercept the ball before it reached the ground.
I ran as fast as I could, watching the ball the whole time. I could do it—I knew I could. I reached out both arms to grab the ball, then—whack! I ran into someone who had the same idea I did.
The impact caused me to fall forward and land on my stomach. The person I had collided with fell on top of me with enough force so I lost my breath. The ball bounced away, and neither of us could get it.
“Get off of me!” Angrily, I rolled over and pushed away the person who had kept me from my moment of glory. I almost died when I saw it was Lenny.
“You—you made me miss the ball!” I sputtered.
“Naturally—that’s the point!” he grinned. “After all, you’re not on my team!”
It was then I noticed there was blood on his mouth.
“Oh, your lip—it’s bleeding!” Without thinking, I reached out to touch it.
“Is it? Where?” He placed his hand on top of mine.
Then I became aware that everyone had gathered around us. “Are you okay?” they were saying. “Where did all that blood come from?”
“It’s just my lip.” Lenny pulled my hand away.
“Better go wash it off,” suggested Roz. “It could get all infected if you’ve got dirt in it.”
“Yeah, I guess I will.” Lenny picked himself up from the ground and brushed himself off. “I passed a water fountain on my way to the field. You’re full of blood, too, Linda. Want to come?”
Did I want to come? My heart started beating so fast when he said that, I was afraid everyone would hear. “Well, I guess I should.” I tried to sound as if I didn’t really care.
“We’re going to have to go on with the game without you,” Chris warned as we left.
“That’s okay,” Lenny said. I was glad. So he wasn’t that interested in the game either.
We walked to the fountain in silence. I certainly didn’t know what to say to him, and for once he didn’t seem to know what to say to me. When we got there I rinsed off my hands. He took water in his mouth, swished it around, and spat it on the ground.
“How’s my lip?”
I examined it carefully. “A little swollen. And there’s still some dirt in it. If you have a tissue or something, I’ll get it off for you.”
He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to me. It didn’t look overly clean, but I took it just the same. I rinsed it with water and dabbed his lip.
“Ow! Careful! You’re brutal!” he complained.
“Not as brutal as you are!” I came right back at him.
We stood there glaring at each other for a moment, then he began to laugh. “You know, you look awfully cute when you’re angry, Linda. The trouble is you’re angry much too often!”
“Me? What about you?” I demanded. But I couldn’t stay angry long when Lenny was laughing.
We started walking back toward the game together. Then Lenny suggested that since it was such a nice day and the game was doing fine without us, we ought to walk around the park and have a little talk.
“Okay,” I agreed. My heart was pounding again. What was he going to say?
At first he kept the conversation light. We talked about how beautiful the park looked in autumn, which was Lenny’s favorite time of the year. He showed me the gift his aunt and uncle had given him, a beautiful gold ring with an L on it for his name. I didn’t let him know how happy I was to find he really was at his aunt’s and not with Ellen or some other girl.
We sat on a rock that overlooked the playing field, far enough away so we could watch the game without being seen ourselves. The sky was a crisp blue which accentuated the colors of the turning leaves. Soft, white puffs of clouds drifted by, forming ever-changing shapes that were fascinating to watch. It was wonderful to be with Lenny on this beautiful day. I could pretend that the fight between us had never happened.
“Look at that cloud—it looks just like a swan drifting on a lake!” I pointed to the sky.
He looked where I was pointing. “Hey, you’re right. I see it, too. And look, over there … that looks like a kitten!”
“It does! And there’s a ball of twine for it to play with!”
He looked at me. “You know, it’s hard to believe the soft, calm Linda I see today is the same person I saw so stubbornly planting herself in the poolroom the other night.”
The smile faded from my face. “And it’s hard to believe that this sweet, loving Lenny is the same person who became a raving lunatic just to see me there.”
I felt myself growing angry again, but then I thought of what Sheldon had told me. Maybe the boys really did need the poolroom for a place to go off to on their own. “Well, Lenny, I’ll tell you one thing. You don’t have to worry about having me come up to the poolroom anymore. And not because you scared me away, either. That place is disgusting. You boys can have it all to yourselves if that’s the way you want it.”
“Good! Because that is the way we want it.”
“Fine, then it’s settled,” I said, in a completely non-combative way.
I guess my attitude surprised him, because the next thing he said was totally unexpected. “I guess I owe you an apology for the way I exploded the other night, Linda. I was so angry to find you where I didn’t want you to be, that I lost sight of the fact that you really did have a right to be there.”
I took a deep breath. “I think you hit upon the answer, Lenny. We both have to remember that because we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, it doesn’t mean we can tell the other person what to do. We’re each entitled to make our own decisions and do what we want, as long as we’re not hurting the other person.”
“I agree. Especially since you’ve told me that going to the poolroom is something you don’t want to do any longer,” he said with his cocky grin.
“I don’t, I don’t,” I promised. “That is, for as long as we’re going together. We are still going together, aren’t we?”
“Of course!” He put his arm around me. “After all, who else could I spend a day with looking for animals in the clouds? In fact, there’s a big whale spouting water, right now!”
“Whale? Where?”
“Just turn your head a little—this way!”
I turned toward him, and as I did, he kissed me on the lips. I kissed him back, and I felt wonderful. This was one difficult situation we had managed to come through together.
During the weeks that followed, I really made an effort to let Lenny do what he wanted, as long as it wasn’t something that would hurt me. I tried not to bother him about things like school and homework.
It paid off. On November 26, the four-month anniversary of the day we started going together, he asked me to wear his new ring on a chain around my neck. That meant we were officially going steady.
I was elated. Not that I thought going steady would make much difference. Lenny and I saw each other almost every day anyhow, and neither of us was dating anyone else. But the fact he wanted me to wear his ring was proof that he really cared.