Carlinville seemed smaller when she returned, as though it had shrunk in her absence. Kasia was staying with her now. No point telling them she didn’t want it. She hadn’t asked to be saved, and yet here she was. It was like being thrust back into an empty world and Evie felt deep down that no matter the kind words and concerned eyes, that void could not be filled. Evie knew they didn’t really trust her not to do the same again.
‘Will we sit in the garden for a while?’ Kasia’s eyes were bright. ‘The fresh air will be good for me too.’ So they’d brewed tea and brought a small tray outside, wearing two old sweaters from the coat stand. They sat there for hours, watching the long grass and plants sway gently in the evening breeze. There was something easy about the girl. She listened, and Evie felt there was no judgement there. She asked about Paul, about their lives together, and Evie found herself recounting her life story, the love story that was hers and Paul’s, and the heartbreak over the family they never had.
‘It was love at first sight for both of us.’ Evie smiled. ‘You don’t hear of that happening any more, do you?’
‘He said that too; I think he was still surprised by it.’
‘We were married within six months. It was a small ceremony, just the two of us in a little church outside Rome.’ Evie smiled as she thought back to that day. She could almost feel the scorching Italian sun on her face when they’d walked into the hot afternoon. ‘We were happy, right up until the end.’ They’d spent many evenings in this exact spot, talking about the day’s events, or just listening to the Irish Sea in the distance. ‘Maybe that was half the problem.’ Evie’s words were just loud enough to be heard.
‘What was the problem’s half?’ Kasia considered her, shading her eyes as they caught the sun coming from the west.
‘Well, I was quite content. But maybe he wasn’t. Even when he told me about Grace, I persuaded myself that I could cope with it. As time went on, I convinced myself that we were quite happy, in our odd little arrangement. When in fact, even if I’d made myself be happy with it, Paul couldn’t have been.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Well, he felt he needed more, didn’t he? He needed you as well.’ Evie said the words without anger. She no longer bore hard feelings towards Grace or Annalise or Kasia. Would she be better off if she did?
‘I really admire you.’ Kasia was trying to make her feel better; it was nice that she cared.
‘You shouldn’t. I’m no role model for any young girl. Quite the opposite, if anything.’ Her tea was almost cold, but comforting at the same time.
‘Paul loved you. He never stopped loving you. No one could ever take your place. I admire how you handled all of it.’ Kasia observed the sea below and took a deep breath, as though the air might refresh her from the inside out. ‘He never really left you anyway.’
‘He managed to convince me of that too. I believed I was graciously sharing him with the mothers of his children. I never actually believed Grace or Annalise were competition. Wasn’t I a little naïve, though?’
‘That is not such a bad thing. Perhaps the world would be better if more people were…naïve, these days.’
‘Modern women. Well, you’d be out there fighting for your man. I believed him when he said he had to do his duty and stand by Grace Kennedy when she was pregnant. The blame and the hurt and all the other emotions I was feeling became lost in my own guilt for not being able to give him a family.’ A small tear made its way down Evie’s cheek.
‘It was not your fault that you couldn’t have a family.’
‘I was too old for him. I should have faced up to that before I married him, or gone all out to have a family straight away. I just didn’t think it would mean all that much, not when we had each other.’ A sad smile stretched her quivering lips.
‘I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way. I think we just do what we can. If we do our best, then there’s no room for guilt. You did more than your best.’
‘I’m not sure.’ Evie shook her head again.
‘I am sure enough for both of us. He never let you go. It was the same with Grace. He was a man who kept his women. But I suspect that Annalise is… how do you say it, a pot of different fish?’
‘Yes, she’s certainly that.’ Evie smiled in spite of herself. ‘Do you honestly think I don’t have anything to feel badly about?’
‘I think you are a good person, Evie. I think you have shown nothing but kindness and compassion. It’s probably good to take a hard look at your life with Paul. Maybe he wasn’t as perfect as you thought. I don’t think you can see what I see.’
‘What’s that?’
‘I see…’ Kasia stumbled over the words for a moment, trying to pick the right ones. ‘I think, that Paul was very lucky, having three women, and especially in having you in his life. He was lucky to have kept you to the end.’
They sat in silence for a long time. What if the girl was right? It certainly settled her mind far more than it had been in a long time.
‘This would have been a beautiful home for a family.’ Kasia smiled at Evie.
‘Yes. It seems ideal doesn’t it?’ Still, she didn’t add that her own childhood had been lonely and isolated. ‘I would have loved a big family, lots of children to fill the house and the garden.’
‘I’m sure it would have been a happy home.’
‘Ah well.’ Evie sighed. It was like a death, childlessness. ‘What about you? Would you like to have more, some day?’
‘If things were right, yes. In the meantime, I’m going to love this one; nothing is going to stop me loving this baby.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean. Our circumstances are very different.’
‘I understand, dear.’ And Evie did. ‘You will have your own challenges, just as I had mine.’
‘Evie, just being here is making it so much easier.’
It became easier for Evie too. The days seemed to stretch and run into each other and they built up a routine of sorts. Kasia prepared tea for both of them before she left for work. In the evenings, she returned home tired and hungry and so they sat on the veranda slowly eating whatever Evie had prepared for them. It was the best part of the day, Evie thought. It may have been that they hid from the world beyond, but it was easy and relaxed and before Evie knew it a week had passed, and then two. Maybe it didn’t make up for Paul not being around, but they were settling into a contented way of life – something that was new to both of them.
*
It was on one of these ordinary afternoons, while Kasia was at work and Evie semi dozed on the veranda, that Annalise called through the kitchen. She was on her own and Evie felt a little disappointed; she was growing very fond of Dylan and Jerome – they really livened things up about the place. And, Evie recognized, they brought out a lovely side to Annalise. She all but forgot about all the emptiness when they were around. Today, she dragged Evie out of her chair, and hurdled ahead of her to the garage. Evie had never seen her so animated – at least not without the boys in tow. She pulled back the garage door and stood before the old MG.
‘Annalise, I had almost forgotten it was here, it’s years since anyone…’
‘It could be a surprise for Kasia,’ Annalise had enthused as they admired the car.
‘I’m not sure, I mean, I haven’t driven in years.’ Maybe it was the morning, or the sun shining, but something inside Evie began to bubble. She could almost smell adventure. ‘Okay, but…’ she took the passenger seat.
‘But what? It still goes; I’ve tried it out already.’ Annalise tossed her blonde hair with the assurance of one who took on the world every day, confident everything would work out.
‘But—’ Evie was afraid she’d lost her nerve. ‘Well, it’s been a while. I couldn’t imagine bringing it out on my own, not yet at least. Maybe you’d like to drive it first?’
‘Of course, I’d love to.’ Annalise adjusted the mirror, having dabbed beneath her eyes, fixing her mascara. ‘Do I still hear a “but” in your voice?’ She was smiling. Convincing Evie had obviously been easier than she’d expected.
Evie never came in here, not unless she had to. Even then, she left the lights off. She never came near the car. How silly of her! Why not get it on the road? What was to stop her? She was a grown-up sensible woman. What harm could it do? A giddy sensation brimmed up inside her; could she really do this? Was it too late? She wanted to, every fibre of her wanted to get behind the wheel and drive along the coast road, roof down, wind in her hair – all her cares forgotten. She ran her hand across the walnut dash before her. It reminded her of Paul. Soon there would be a baby at Carlinville – they couldn’t stay locked up in the house forever. ‘Could we get a baby seat in the back?’
‘I’m not sure.’ Annalise considered the tiny seat behind them; it was really only fit to carry bags. ‘But my dad would tell us,’ she said as they set off out onto the main road.
‘This feels even better than I remember.’ Annalise was good for her, she made her feel a lot younger than she was – but then couldn’t you be happy at any age?
‘Better roads?’
‘Maybe.’ It was more than that. The sea air and the warm end of summer sun made Evie feel as though she could be forty years younger. That was what this old car represented. It was why she’d never sold it. ‘When Paul and I used this car, we weren’t…’
‘Just using it in good weather?’ Annalise winked across at her. Evie was beginning to like Annalise, much to her surprise. It was nearly, she thought one evening, as they laughed at some story from Annalise’s modelling days, disappointing that she had turned out to be such fun. But of course she was. Why else would Paul have fallen for her?
‘Something like that. We were happy, Paul and I, when we took drives in this car.’ Then Evie leant forward. ‘Let’s take down the hood.’
Evie gazed out the window. Everything today seemed transformed; suddenly there was possibility all around. She would keep this a secret and when Kasia had the baby, she would collect them both from the hospital. What a wonderful plan.
*
Their first driving lesson was a success. Annalise called at eleven the following morning.
‘Will you drive first?’ Evie couldn’t imagine reversing or manoeuvring it in any space that was limited.
‘I wouldn’t expect you to. We’ll keep it simple to begin with.’ Annalise adjusted the seat, pulled it back a little. When Annalise switched on the ignition, the car purred to life. ‘Okay, what if we go for a little spin first, then we find somewhere quiet for you to have a practise.’
‘Lovely.’ Evie wound down her window and let the fresh air blow through the car. They travelled through the village, onto the main road towards one of the quieter seaside villages that dotted the east coast. It was a lovely feeling, driving out in the morning sun with no agenda other than to give it a spin.
‘I’m applying for my licence.’ She dug deep into her bag, pulled out a green form. ‘I picked up the form this morning,’ Evie said as they pulled in at a small fishing pier after a few miles. ‘Don’t laugh,’ she could hardly stop smiling today; it was as if a small light switched on inside her, and suddenly there was a glimmer of joy in the world. This would be good for all of them, for Kasia and the baby. She would surprise Grace too. ‘I’m going to take driving lessons as well, properly do the test. Things have changed on the road since I last drove! And I’ve never taken a test. We just bought our licences at the post office in my day!’
‘Isn’t it strange how everything has turned out? I’m so glad we’ve met and I’m glad for the boys too.’ Annalise’s eyes danced with pleasure and she squinted far into the distance, past Bailey lighthouse. ‘I can tell you this, Evie: the best part of Paul is what he left behind.’
‘You really believe that?’ Evie spied a small fishing boat making its way home and thought for a few minutes. ‘You could be right.’ She smiled. ‘It’s funny, but, with you and Grace, Delilah, Kasia, the boys and the new baby on the way, it feels as if I have my own family now.’ It was true; they’d helped her see that for the first time in her life everything she wanted was available to her, it was just that Paul wasn’t there to share it. The realisation threw up the horror of what she’d almost done and she decided that daily, she would try to make peace with that. There were good days and days that weren’t so good. Today was one of the best she’d had so far.
‘Evie, you mean everything to Delilah and Jerome and Dylan. And Kasia needs you to keep well; you’re everything to her now.’
‘Yes, Kasia.’ A look of sadness passed across Evie’s eyes.
‘She doesn’t have to go, have you thought about that?’
‘No, but she will want her own place, won’t she? She’ll want somewhere just for herself and the baby.’
‘Well, it’s not as if you don’t have enough room at Carlinville to convert some space for her.’ Annalise smiled. ‘It could be your next project, converting that big garage into a…’
‘Do you really think she’d want to stay?’ Evie had just presumed that Kasia wouldn’t want her around. She’d be happy to drop by, with the baby, perhaps. What did Evie have to offer her? She knew nothing about having a child of her own, but perhaps Annalise was right.
‘You should say it to her.’ Annalise seemed enthusiastic about the idea. ‘You might need to get a builder in, look at the heating, put in a couple of gates. I’m sure it wouldn’t cost too much.’
‘Of course, you’re right, you can’t have a baby in a cold house.’ She thought for a moment. It was years since anything had been done with the place. ‘I’m sure we could make it right.’
‘It’s worth thinking about, and there’ll be money from Paul to help.’
‘Yes. I suppose that’s true.’ They had put off having his will read. Evie had a feeling that now the other women were afraid that reading it might set her back again. In the beginning, it was a way of tidying everything up, cutting her ties with Annalise and Grace, finally saying goodbye to Paul. It was silly. After all, they knew the basic outline, but they still weren’t sure what it all meant. That he was wealthy in his own right was a surprise to all of them. He had been a shrewd speculator, investing a little here, a little there. Got in when the going was good, got out before the crash. Maybe he wasn’t up there with the Goldsmiths, but he didn’t die a pauper either.
‘So, will you have a go?’ Annalise started to get out of the driver’s seat. ‘Come on, I won’t tell anyone if you conk out, I promise.’
‘I…’ Evie was dying to get in behind the wheel, had been looking forward to this since Annalise had first suggested it, but now, she felt a little – what was it? Nervous? To hell with that, she thought. ‘I’m ready.’
*
It was almost two o’clock when they got back to Carlinville and Annalise helped Evie put the tarpaulin over the car once more. It had been exhilarating. It was more than driving, Evie knew that. It was far more than just her foot on the accelator and her hands on the wheel. Driving was something that had been taken from her. She had loved it, truly loved it and she had let her father first and then Paul take it away from her. She was beginning to see now that they took far more than just something she loved; they took her freedom and her independence. And Evie’s notion of love allowed them to – she never saw the harm in it.
‘It looks as though you’ll be giving the lessons from now on.’ Annalise laughed as they pulled shut the garage door. ‘Seriously, you’re a natural; you could give any of the professionals a run for their money.’
‘Stop it; you’re making fun of me. I will try to drive more slowly once I get on the main roads.’ Evie laughed, but she had to concede; she’d enjoyed driving and negotiating the car about some of the back roads.
‘No, really, you’re a good driver – maybe a lesson or two to get you up to speed for the test, but you handle the car like a pro.’ Annalise had been full of praise since Evie sat behind the wheel. ‘Maybe you should bring some of your new friends from the Weekday Club out for a spin.’
‘Maybe I will.’ Evie kept her voice as non-committal as she could make it. She still hadn’t joined the local Over 55’s – hadn’t told them that, but maybe now? Her confidence was soaring after taking the car out. There was a little anger too at all the time she’d wasted. It was time to stop letting life pass her by. She stood thoughtfully at the back door. ‘You probably have to rush back, do you?’
‘Well, I really should.’ Annalise smiled. Her days were broken into two slots – when the children needed her and when they were at nursery. She asked her mother to mind them less and less these days, which was probably good for all of them. ‘Will you be okay?’
‘I’m better than I’ve ever been. Truly.’ Evie considered Carlinville for a moment, patting the door. Funny, but today the paint seemed to pucker less across its wrinkling surface.
‘Can I say something to you?’ Annalise stood before her, shaded her eyes from the midday sun.
‘Of course.’ Evie had a feeling this was something Annalise had been building up to.
‘He was playing us all, in different ways.’ Annalise waited for agreement. All Evie could manage was a slight nod. ‘He never wanted to let you go. It was selfish really. He did the same with Grace. Maybe he thought he’d do the same with me.’
‘I doubt you’d have let him.’ If Annalise had something that Evie admired, it was pluck.
‘Who’s to say?’ Annalise said. ‘Look at Grace. She’s the gutsiest of all of us, isn’t she?’
‘It’s a quality that’s hard to measure, Annalise. We’re the people we’ve allowed ourselves to become.’ Evie was beginning to understand she’d let herself be secondary to Paul all her life. The knowledge filled her with regret.
‘You are much braver than you realize, Evie, and you have a kind heart. Life will be good to you. And Paul…’
‘Yes?’
‘He was the weak one, Evie. I think you’ve spent your whole life thinking you couldn’t survive without him, when it’s been the other way around.’
‘I thought we were soulmates.’
‘If you want to call it that, but don’t for a minute think that there isn’t a whole world of happiness waiting for you.’
Evie did something completely out of character. She flung her arms about Annalise and hugged her until they both giggled nervously. ‘Sorry,’ Evie said as she stood back from her. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’
‘Please, don’t say that you’re sorry. It was the best hug ever. It’s all right that I said that to you?’
‘It’s more than all right. Now all we have to do is get Grace to start seeing what a nice man your friend Jake is,’ Evie laughed. Kasia had told her all about him and they agreed he would be good for Grace. She, too, deserved a better stab at things.
‘I couldn’t agree more, but I think Kasia might be ahead of you, so fingers crossed.’
*
The sun was bravely poking through the grey blanket of clouds when Grace called to take Evie to her appointment. Kasia had set out a line of medication for Evie before she left for work. Three saucers: morning, lunch and afternoon. Evie dutifully popped one small pill onto her tongue before they left the house.
‘She does this every day; even Sundays.’ Evie shook her head, but she liked being taken care of.
They drove in silence for the start of the journey; Evie nervous of what lay ahead, Grace lost in thought.
‘We’re all worried about you, at home all day long on your own.’ Grace stared ahead.
‘Don’t be silly, I’ve spent my life in Carlinville, mostly on my own.’ She had been stupid, what she’d tried to do, but it was behind her now. She was sure of that. With every passing day she could feel herself getting stronger. Maybe there were days she had to remind herself that there could be more to look forward to, but there were also good times when she felt that life held more now than ever before. She hadn’t told Grace about the MG. It would be a surprise, but perhaps if she realised, she would not be so worried.
‘Yes, but things are different now. What you did, it makes everything different.’
‘You’re welcome to come out and break up the day anytime.’ Evie kept her voice light. It was funny, but a couple of months ago, the last thing she would have expected was to have Grace Kennedy keeping an eye on her every day. ‘You could paint – the view is…’
‘I’d love to paint out at Carlinville, while the weather will allow,’ Grace said as they neared the hospital. ‘In the garden. Would you mind?’
‘Why not. You’d like to paint the view?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Grace sighed. ‘I find the house, the whole place, very inspiring.’
‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’ Evie didn’t add that the garden was a sad reflection of its former glory. Once, they had a full-time gardener, with extra help for summer. ‘The views are beautiful; I still lose myself in them. I can sit for hours, just looking out at the sea.’
‘I…’ Grace’s words hung on the air, then she abruptly changed her mind. ‘We’re here,’ she said unnecessarily. When they finally reached the outpatient clinic, Evie just wanted to run home. The reception was a vile green corridor, with tacky sticky red leather seating. Then there were the patients. The unfortunate people languishing here, as though resigned to their condition: that was what affected Evie most. They were a raggle-taggle bunch in charity shop clothes, with faces emptied of emotion. Evie took a seat beside a sullen teenager with scrawny white wrists, more punched than a Methodist noticeboard.
‘Got a fag on you, missus?’ the youngster asked Grace.
‘Sorry, I don’t smoke,’ she said politely. She pulled her handbag closer.
‘Nah, I didn’t think so.’ He ambled off towards a young girl sitting opposite, her stare as empty as a starless night.
‘I shouldn’t have asked you to come here with me.’ Evie said the words, but she was glad Grace was with her. On their other side, a man of maybe forty-five, hardened by drink and life, sat rhythmically flipping a brown coin.
Evie took a long breath and maybe relaxed a bit into the strangeness of the place, a clatter or loud bang in the distance pulled her out of any security. It took almost an hour before Evie heard her name called. It sounded unfamiliar to her here.
‘So, we discharged you to the care of Kasia Petrescu?’ The doctor glanced at Grace. His name was Rouse. He didn’t bother to introduce himself; they had met before, but he never remembered. In this small world, he was a legend.
‘I’m Grace Kennedy. Kasia is…’
‘The artist?’ The psychiatrist raised his eyebrows. It wasn’t every day they had a celebrity in.
‘Yes,’ Grace confirmed. ‘Evie is staying in her own home with another friend, Kasia.’
‘And how have you been since?’ He observed Evie as though she was a zoo exhibit. ‘Can I get a list of her meds?’ He barked at an unnamed underling behind his shoulder.
‘I…’ Evie wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say. After all, she’d lost her husband; she wasn’t going to be over the moon, no matter what tablets they decided to give her. ‘I… my husband died. I am in mourning.’ Evie’s words clipped the corners of her emotions. She wasn’t going to have them thinking she was some ordinary kind of basket case; there was a reason she was here. It was not because she really belonged.
‘Yes. That’s in your notes.’ Dr. Rouse peered over his glasses and smiled sympathetically. ‘I do read them all the way through.’ He glanced back at Evie, his voice suddenly serious. ‘I’m not trying to trivialize your loss, Mrs Starr, but women lose their husbands every day of the week, and we don’t end up pumping out their stomachs as part of the grieving process.’
‘She was upset. It wasn’t straightforward.’ There was just a hint of anger in Grace’s voice. ‘It was a terrible shock and apart from Paul’s death there were other circumstances.’
‘Other circumstances?’ His eyes rose once more.
‘That we’re dealing with,’ Grace said firmly.
‘So how do you feel today?’ He reverted to Evie. Clearly he could tell he wasn’t going to get anywhere with Grace, and Evie was glad to have her at her side.
‘I feel much better. I have more people around me than I thought. Before this, aside from Paul’s passing, I had felt very alone.’ Evie looked towards Grace. ‘But I’m beginning to see that I’m not as alone as I thought.’
‘Well, if this person,’ he checked down at his notes again, ‘if this person, Kasia, has moved in with you, I’d say you’re certainly not alone.’ He muttered something towards a scared-looking man whose name badge said he was a clinical nurse. ‘No dark thoughts, no thoughts of doing the same thing again?’
‘Absolutely not. It was the most stupid thing I’ve ever done.’ When Evie thought about that night, it frightened her. What had she been thinking? And then she realized she hadn’t been in control of herself that night, and who was to say that couldn’t happen again? She’d made great progress, that was true, and she wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, but she worried that maybe, if she felt that same desolation once, it could happen again, couldn’t it? The fact that she had actually tried to do it once – well… ‘At least, that’s how I feel about it at the moment. It was a terrible thing to do. I can see that. But—’ The neutral expression she was working hard to keep in place was beginning to feel very wobbly now. ‘But, although I feel I’d never do anything so stupid again…’
‘You’re not sure?’
‘I wasn’t myself. It was as if I was lost and part of me thought it would be a good idea at the time. I was desperate, but that doesn’t mean…’ She could feel Grace watching her, imagined the crushing concern haunting her eyes.
‘I see.’ Dr. Rouse flicked the pages of his notes once more, stopping eventually and murmuring to himself. ‘They haven’t written you up for any long-term medication.’ He was talking to himself. ‘Perhaps…’ He cast his glance across Evie, considered her for a moment before returning his gaze to the file before him.
‘I’d prefer not to take any more pills.’ She kept her voice even.
‘There’s no harm if you need them, Evie…’ Grace nearly said something more, but then she seemed to catch herself.
‘There are lots of ways to come out of this. You seem like a sensible woman. No need for me to tell you that a bit of exercise every day will do you good. You need to make sure that you’re involved in things – any clubs, hobbies? Golf?’ He wrinkled his nose. ‘Social dancing – it seems to be the thing these days?’
‘No. I’ve never been much of a person for joining things,’ Evie said quietly. Paul admired that about her, the fact that she seemed so contained. ‘But,’ she knew it was her best bet, ‘there’s an over 55s club locally. I could join that. They’re always asking me. It’s not really my cup of tea, but…’
‘Well, that’s going to have to change or else you’ll have to find something that is. I’d rather see you off the medication, but I’m writing you up for something very light. They’re to be taken if you feel you need them.’ Next he turned his attention to Grace, as though he didn’t trust Evie to know her own mind or mood. ‘You need to keep an eye on her. She might not be aware that she’s beginning to slip back down again.’ He eyed Evie again from above his glasses. ‘People do get better, Mrs Starr. It’s hard to see it sometimes, particularly when you’re in the middle of it, but trust me.’ He murmured back at the younger doctor flanking him. ‘Especially here, it often seems as though people are never going to pull out of things, but they do. You have to go out and chase your health, even when you don’t feel up to it. Maybe especially when you don’t feel like it.’ He smiled. ‘You are a good candidate for recovery, but you need to get yourself connected, interested in life.’ He closed the file. ‘Do you think you can do that?’
‘I’ve every intention of trying,’ Evie said and she truly meant it.
*
Annalise dropped by with Jerome and Dylan after they got back to Carlinville. The wind and rain threatened on the weather forecast had made its way back across the Irish Sea during the afternoon. A mulched smell of damp lingered at the door and Evie was glad of the comforting fire Kasia had set earlier in the drawing room.
‘Purpose, that’s it really, Evie. You need a purpose, something to get up for,’ Annalise said as they waited for the kettle to boil.
‘I really don’t fancy the idea of the Active Retirement Group.’ Evie smiled, but she knew that they were her best bet. Perhaps it was the pity, the meaningful glances from all the other widows, glad in some macabre way to have her in their number. ‘But, I suppose…’
‘Did you ever have a hobby you loved?’ Annalise said as she stretched her hands in front of her. ‘Mind you, I don’t think knitting or sewing or anything solitary counts for as much as something more…sociable?’ Annalise inclined her head. ‘What about a new skill? What about learning something different, something to take you out of yourself?’
‘Maybe.’ Evie knew she sounded apathetic, but anything had to be better than slow motion aqua aerobics with a bunch of pensioners with weak bladders.
‘Oh Evie!’ Annalise threw her hands up to her mouth and for a moment, Evie thought something was wrong. ‘I have the perfect thing…’ And she tossed her hair back and began to laugh heartily. ‘You could join the local rally club.’
Evie felt as if someone had thrown her a lifeline.