Hudson swiped his card and held the heavy door open for me. The smell of a freshly cleaned and sanitized hotel room filled my nostrils. The air was chilly, and he reached over and flipped on the lights. One king-sized bed rested smack-dab in the middle of the room along with a sofa, nightstand and dresser. Floor to ceiling curtains covered the far wall and hid the sliding glass door that led out to a private balcony.
“Nice suite,” I said.
He smiled and said nothing.
I stood with my arms crossed awkwardly down at my hips, almost paralyzed with anxiety. Being alone with Hudson in the quietness of his hotel room was almost too much for me to handle.
“Make yourself comfortable,” he said as he pointed to sofa.
I walked over and took a seat, crossing my legs and trying to appear relaxed and comfortable. I was pretty sure I looked like a complete, nervous moron.
He pulled his keys and wallet from his pockets and splayed them out on the dresser before walking over to the sofa and sitting down next to me. He widened his hips and leaned back as he placed his hands behind his head, fingers interlocked. Every move that man made was so smooth, so fluid.
“This is much better,” he said. “Now I can actually hear myself think.”
“Totally,” I said. I was tongue-tied and couldn’t think of a better response.
“So,” he said as he took a deep breath. “You have a boyfriend or anything?”
“No,” I said. “Not at the moment.”
“And you’re how old now?” he asked as he raised one eyebrow.
“Twenty-three,” I replied. “How old are you?”
I pretended not to know.
“Thirty,” he said with an exasperated sigh. “Getting old.”
I laughed. “That’s not old at all.”
“It is in Hollywood,” he replied. “It’s ancient. All these young guys keep coming in with their jacked bodies and chiseled faces. It’s hard to keep up.”
“I doubt that,” I argued. “You’re, like, Hollywood royalty. You’ve been around a while. People know you. You’re a household name. You have staying power.”
“You’re beginning to sound like my manager,” he laughed. “Anyway, we don’t have to talk about me. I get tired of talking about myself. Tell me about you.”
He lowered his arms down to his lap where they rested confidently. He turned his entire body and shifted towards me.
“What do you want to know?” I asked with a half-smile.
“Anything,” he said. He seemed captivated by me, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it was all an act. He was a famous actor after all.
My face suddenly turned ten shades of crimson as the spotlight fell upon me. I didn’t usually like talking about myself either, and especially not to someone as fascinating as he was.
“Don’t be shy,” he said with a laugh. Again, it was like he could read my mind. “So I know that your name is Brynn, you’re twenty-three, you waitress, you have a friend, and you’ve lived in Rock River your entire life. What else can you tell me?”
“God, when you say it like that, it makes me sound so boring and pathetic,” I huffed. I placed my hands on my cheeks which were burning red by then.
“I doubt you’re boring, and I don’t think you’re pathetic at all,” he reassured me as he reached over and pulled my hands away from my face. He inadvertently pulled me closer to him in the process.
“Do you get a lot of random women approaching you when you’re on location?” I asked, changing the subject.
A smile spread across his full lips, and he tossed his head back and nodded.
“I didn’t want to be that girl,” I said.
He shrugged as he if he understood.
“I have something really silly to tell you,” I said. I looked up at him to gauge his receptiveness. His eyes were honed in on mine with an intensity that burned even brighter than before. “It’s really embarrassing actually.”
“What?” he said with a laugh. “Now you have to tell me.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t say anything,” I said. “It’s really silly.”
He reached over and grabbed my hand, playfully swinging it. “You have to tell me now. You brought it up.”
I bit my lip and opened my mouth, waiting for the words to slip out. He was leaning towards me, waiting to hear my silly secret.
“I had the biggest crush on you when I was younger,” I said. I closed my eyes, scrunched my face, and inwardly cringed. I couldn’t believe I’d just admitted that to him. I figured any second now he was going to look at me like I was some silly fan girl and tell me to get the hell out of his hotel room.
“You did?” he asked with one eyebrow raised.
“Yeah, like I had a poster of you on the back of my door that I’d kiss goodnight every night,” I said with a wince. I crossed my fingers that maybe he’d think it was cute.
“That’s sweet,” he said with a bit of a laugh. “I’m really flattered. Let me guess? The poster was me with a leather jacket and gelled hair. I’m leaning against a tree with my leg kicked up behind me.”
“That’s the one!” I exclaimed. “How did you know?”
“That was the biggest seller,” he said.
“I ordered it from the back of a Tiger Beat,” I admitted. “Ten bucks.”
He laughed and locked his hazel eyes into mine for a moment. He hadn’t asked me to leave, so I had that going for me.
“I never thought I’d actually meet you,” I said. “And I don’t want you to think I expect anything to happen. You know, since we’re in your hotel room.”
Now the word vomit was happening. I couldn’t stop.
“I hope you don’t think I’m throwing myself at you,” I continued. “I’m not like that. I just wanted to meet you.”
He studied my face intently while I rambled on, making excuses for my brazen behavior that evening.
“I don’t have any expectations,” I blathered on.
“Brynn,” he interrupted me. “Stop.”
I zipped my lips, not knowing where he was going with that.
He reached his hand up and cupped the side of my face as if I was some sweet, naïve girl that he felt sorry for. He cocked his head to the side and suddenly I found his lips mere inches from mine. He leaned in even closer and placed his mouth onto mine.
The kiss was nothing short of electric and sent my body reeling. For the past seven years, Luke was the only guy I’d ever fantasized about kissing. But in that moment, Luke was the farthest thing from my mind.
Hudson’s breath tasted like cinnamon, and I could smell some sort of musky cologne permeating off his warm skin. I’d never smelled anything like it before, and it was a big departure from the laughably outdated Cool Water Luke insisted on wearing every single day.
I tried to relax my body as our mouths moved in tandem. At first I was afraid to touch him, as if he was some high prized, top shelf merchandise that I wasn’t allowed to touch, but soon I threw caution to the wind. I slipped my arms underneath his and leaned my body into his.
His mouth began working its way lower, to my neck, and I could feel his five o’clock shadow tickle against my soft skin. The sensation of the soft kisses with the prickles drove me insane.
I tossed my head back, my long, dark hair spilling down my back, and he slipped his hands underneath my top. I felt his soft hands work their way underneath my bra and within seconds he was working it off. He pulled my top off me and leaned down to place one pert nipple in his hot mouth.
As he toyed and teased, I suddenly felt hot and the room began to spin. Was this really happening? Was I really about to give myself to this famous person like some groupie? I was sure he’d been with a million woman. I’d only ever loved one man before. And I was still technically in love with that man.
I tried to shut off my thoughts, but they kept coming, one after another. Soon the moment was becoming more and more ruined, at least for me. Hudson was in the throes of passion while I was trying to convince myself I could continue to go through with this.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he stopped and sat up. “I feel like you’re not into this anymore.”
He had to have been some sort of mind reader.
“I don’t know,” I sighed as I sat up. I reached over and grabbed my shirt to cover my heaving, naked breasts.
“I won’t do anything unless you want me to,” he said as he placed both palms in the air in front of me. “Trust me.”
The look on his face was sheer panic as potential sexual assault headlines flashed through his mind.
“No, no,” I said. “It’s not that.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked, perplexed.
“I want to be with you,” I insisted. “But, I want it to mean something. It would mean something to me, but I know it wouldn’t mean anything to you.”
Hudson let out the biggest exasperated sigh I’d ever heard and sunk back into the sofa cushions. He turned his head back towards me, his dark eyes intense and still wanting. I wanted to fuck him so badly, but my head and my heart just weren’t agreeing on what to do.
“I’ve never just randomly hooked up with someone. I’m not that kind of girl,” I said as I clutched my knees into my chest, suddenly feeling extra vulnerable. “And you’ve probably been with millions of women.”
“Hey, now,” he said. I’d realized I’d offended him.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “That came out wrong.”
“The number of women I’ve been with, I can count on both hands,” he said matter-of-factly. “Honest.”
I twisted my brows as I peered back at him. “I don’t believe you. You don’t even know me and you were ready to jump my bones. How can I believe that you haven’t done that with a million other women?”
“I can give you a few different reasons,” he said. “But if you’ve already got your mind made up and you already think you know me so well, I won’t waste your time with them.”
I wanted to hear his reasons, but he had a point. I probably wouldn’t believe any of them.
“Here you go,” he said as he handed me my bra from the floor.
“Oh,” I said as I slowly grabbed it. It didn’t take long for me to realize he was telling me to leave.
I turned my back towards him as I redressed. I just wanted to die. I just wanted to click my heels and be back home in the comforts of my apartment. I wanted to pretend like none of that ever happened. I’d taken my one shot with Hudson Smith and ruined it.
I pulled my top over my head and spun back around to face him.
“It was really nice meeting you,” I said. I couldn’t even bring myself to look him in the eyes, so I stared at his full, pouty lips instead. “I’m sorry about this.”
My feet couldn’t carry me out of there fast enough. I didn’t even wait for him to reply, I just left. I grabbed my bag off the bed and ran out of the room. I hit the elevator button and rode down, running out of the lobby like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight.