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But We Heeded Them Not: Not So Simple Anymore

How did Lehi and his family react to the mocking, scoffing, and pointing fingers from the great and spacious building? One simple sentence, “We heeded them not” (1 Nephi 8:33).

According to the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary, “heed” means “to mind; to regard with care; to take notice of; to attend to; to observe” (in Largey, The Book of Mormon Reference Companion, 832).

So, in one sense, if heed means “to mind,” as in, “you mind your grandma today,” it would mean to obey. So perhaps we “heed not” the words coming from the great and spacious by not obeying what they’re telling us to do. If “heeding them not” means simply ignoring them, that’s another problem. Perhaps it was easier for the individuals in Lehi’s dream to “heed them not.” After all, there was a great and terrible gulf dividing the building from the tree of life (1 Nephi 12:18). Today, the taunters are in our face. They are in our schools. They are on our airwaves. Sometimes they are in our families. President Packer has said more than once that we are raising our children in enemy territory (see “Counsel to Youth,” 16–18).

As mentioned earlier, he also observed that we are now living in the great and spacious building so “heeding them not” is not as easy as simply turning away, since we’re tenants at the same address! The lifestyles of the great and spacious are the lifestyles our families are surrounded by, and this time, we can’t escape by sailing across the oceans or crossing the plains. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland observed:

The Church of God will never again flee. It will never again leave Ur in order to leave Haran, in order to leave Canaan, in order to leave Jerusalem, in order to leave England, in order to leave Kirtland, in order to leave Nauvoo, in order to go who knows where. No, as Brigham Young said for us all, “We have been kicked out of the frying-pan into the fire, out of the fire into the middle of the floor, and here we are and here we will stay.” (“Israel, Israel, God Is Calling”)

At times, we must respond to the voices from the great and spacious building, so the question is, How? I will use as a resource three talks from modern-day apostles, Elders Robert D. Hales, M. Russell Ballard, and Jeffrey R. Holland, to try to answer that question.

Help Others Understand Truth

In a powerful address called “Christian Courage,” Elder Robert D. Hales taught:

As true disciples, our primary concern must be others’ welfare, not personal vindication. Questions and criticisms give us an opportunity to reach out to others and demonstrate that they matter to our Heavenly Father and to us. Our aim should be to help them understand the truth, not defend our egos or score points in a theological debate. Our heartfelt testimonies are the most powerful answer we can give our accusers. And such testimonies can only be borne in love and meekness. We should be like Edward Partridge, of whom the Lord said, “His heart is pure before me, for he is like unto Nathanael of old, in whom there is no guile” (D&C 41:11). To be guileless is to have a childlike innocence, to be slow to take offense and quick to forgive. (“Christian Courage,” 73–74)

Sister Elaine S. Dalton, general Young Women president, told of one young man, a student body officer at a large university, who found himself in a massive peer-pressure situation while attending a leadership conference in Chicago. During a get-to-know-you game, trees in a courtyard were labeled, “strongly agree,” “partially agree,” “strongly disagree,” and “mildly disagree,” and participants were asked to run to the tree whose label reflected their viewpoint on certain issues as they were announced.

Toward the end of this exercise, the leader asked, “Do you believe in premarital sex?” Without hesitation, this young man ran to the tree marked “strongly disagree.” To his amazement, he was the only one there! All the other student leaders were laughing and pointing at him and saying, “Oh, Jess, you are so funny. We all know you’re not really serious.” At that moment Jess said he knew exactly what he must do and so he loudly declared, “I’m not funny. I’m serious!” There was a stunned silence, and then the group dispersed, leaving Jess standing alone by the tree. He felt out of place and, yes, weird. But he wasn’t weird. He was right. And he was not alone. During the week, many of the student leaders came to him privately and said that they wished they had known years earlier what he knew. Jess later said, “It was easy because I knew that I represented not only the university but my family, the Church, and the Savior.” (“At All Times, in All Things, and in All Places,” 116–17)

Can you picture the critical moment for this young man in your mind? There he is, standing alone by a tree, while others are laughing and pointing. Remind you of anything? Jess’s simple but heartfelt testimony shared with Christian courage had an impact on others who were participating, to the point that they sought him out privately to share respect for his point of view.

Elder Hales also suggested that we must be guided by the Holy Ghost who will help us adapt our responses according to the situation:

To respond in a Christlike way cannot be scripted or based on a formula. The Savior responded differently in every situation. When He was confronted by wicked King Herod, He remained silent. When He stood before Pilate, He bore a simple and powerful testimony of His divinity and purpose. Facing the money-changers who were defiling the temple, He exercised His divine responsibility to preserve and protect that which was sacred. Lifted up upon a cross, He uttered the incomparable Christian response: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). (“Christian Courage,” 72)

Suppose, for example, our children are taking a pounding at school about their stand on social issues regarding marriage and family. Don’t others have agency? Are we forcing our views on them? Are we being judgmental when we define what marriage should be for everyone? Jeffrey R. Holland addressed this very issue:

In those situations you are going to have to explain sensitively why some principles are defended and some sins opposed wherever they are found because the issues and the laws involved are not just social or political but eternal in their consequence. And while not wishing to offend those who believe differently from us, we are even more anxious not to offend God, or as the scripture says, “not offend him who is your lawgiver” (D&C 64:13)—and I am speaking here of serious moral laws.

But to make the point, let me use the example of a lesser law. It is a little like a teenager saying, “Now that I can drive, I know I am supposed to stop at a red light, but do we really have to be judgmental and try to get everyone else to stop at red lights? Does everyone have to do what we do? Don’t others have their agency? Must they behave as we do?” You then have to explain why, yes, we do hope all will stop at a red light. And you have to do this without demeaning those who transgress or who believe differently than we believe because, yes, they do have their moral agency.

My young friends, there is a wide variety of beliefs in this world, and there is moral agency for all, but no one is entitled to act as if God is mute on these subjects or as if commandments only matter if there is public agreement over them. In the 21st century we cannot flee any longer. We are going to have to fight for laws and circumstances and environments that allow the free exercise of religion and our franchise in it. (“Israel, Israel, God Is Calling”)

No Need to Be Defensive

Hopefully, we can also teach our youth to be confident in their beliefs. Perhaps it was lack of confidence, or lack of testimony that caused those who partook to become ashamed in that critical moment when their actions were mocked. Elder M. Russell Ballard taught:

In our interactions with others, are we expecting always to have to defend ourselves? If so, I think we need to make a course correction. Constantly anticipating criticism or objections can lead to an unhealthy self-consciousness and a defensive posture that doesn’t resonate well with others. It is inconsistent with where we are today as a Church and as a great body of followers of Jesus Christ. . . . If we want to be respected today for who we are, then we need to act confidently—secure in the knowledge of who we are and what we stand for, and not as if we have to apologize for our beliefs. (“Sharing the Gospel with Confidence,” 46–47)

M. Russell Ballard gave two pieces of advice for those who seek to defend the faith. First, he suggested that “we don’t let irrelevant issues drown out the most important subjects.” As an example, Elder Ballard mentioned a cable network show about polygamists that depicted a sacred temple ceremony. As an example of how we ought to respond, he cited what the Church officially posted in the lds.org newsroom. “As I quote from it,” Elder Ballard said, “listen to the tone. There is nothing defensive about it, yet it was responding to an inappropriate portrayal of one of our most sacred religious ceremonies”:

“Like other large faith groups, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sometimes finds itself on the receiving end of attention from Hollywood or Broadway, television series or books, and the news media. Sometimes depictions of the Church and its people are quite accurate. Sometimes the images are false or play to stereotypes. Occasionally, they are in appallingly bad taste. As Catholics, Jews, and Muslims have known for centuries, such attention is inevitable once an institution or faith group reaches a size or prominence sufficient to attract notice.” (“Sharing the Gospel with Confidence,” 48)

Often we are questioned about something someone said 150 years ago, or some obscure doctrinal point as if it were the main topic of our lessons in every Sunday School class. Those are irrelevant issues when compared to the first principles of the gospel—faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Elder Ballard’s second suggestion was that no matter what the question or concern or criticism may be, we frame our response around our desire to follow Jesus. “Emphasize that Latter-day Saints follow Jesus Christ and what Jesus Christ teaches. We try to follow Him in all that we do.” He then gave five short examples of how we might answer questions in this manner, including this one:

We follow Jesus Christ by adhering to God’s law of marriage, which is marriage between a man and a woman. This commandment has been in place from the very beginning. God said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). God instructed Adam and Eve that they were to “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28). (“Sharing the Gospel with Confidence,” 51)

By always responding with the Savior in mind, we are helping others focus on the tree of life rather than on the details of the great and spacious building’s interior, or on whether the fasteners used to anchor the rod of iron to the ground used straight slot or Phillips heads, or on the degree of incline of one of the many strange roads and forbidden paths out the window that take us nowhere. Just as the sojourners in Lehi’s dream were subject to distractions and side roads, we must be sure not to get sidetracked and we should always answer within the context of our testimony of Christ and with Christian love for those asking the questions. The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing (see Covey, First Things First, 75). And the main thing is Jesus Christ and his gospel, and the joy of partaking of the love of God at the tree of life. We desire to follow Jesus.

Seek “Tree-of-Life Moments”

Before this little book ends, let’s move our focus away from the great and spacious and back to the tree “by which we stand.”

A friend of mine had an interesting thought while pondering a comment made by Nephi, who mentioned that his family was led by the Liahona to “the more fertile parts of the wilderness” (1 Nephi 16:16). He explained that, like the Liahona, the gospel—and the Church that teaches it—has led him to so many wonderful things, wonderful people, and wonderful experiences.

As I pondered that thought, I realized that my most cherished experiences were also a direct result of the gospel and the Church. So many and so varied were the experiences that I thought of how abundantly fruitful the tree of life must be to provide spiritual nourishment for all who are willing to come and partake.

Where have your tree-of-life moments come from? Perhaps you find them in a quiet moment in the celestial room, or in a home teaching or visiting teaching moment where the Spirit is present. Perhaps you feel the joy of an act of service pulled off anonymously and beautifully or a musical number that leaves you inspired and introspective.

Much of this book has focused on the great and spacious building, because that’s the world where we currently find ourselves. But our spirits will always yearn for more tree-of-life moments, and hopefully the momentary pleasures of the floating and transitory great and spacious building will never have the power to entice us away from the tree of life which is rooted, grounded, and established.

During the time of this writing, I enjoyed Thanksgiving with my extended family. After a scenic drive beneath bright blue skies bordered by wintry mountains, we excitedly entered my sister’s country home. My children scattered to the backyard to find cousins, toys, and things to do; I was overcome with the aroma of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, the works. Had an angel walked up and said, “Welcome to Heaven,” I would have believed I was there.

After a prayer of gratitude we dished ourselves up, found our places, and began our feast. We ate, we talked, we laughed and enjoyed the company. I continued to marvel at the smells and tastes, and I pondered the kindness of the Lord in giving us such variety! Why did he give us so many different kinds of fruits, so many different kinds of vegetables, so many aromas and flavors? I recalled his generous words:

Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart; Yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul. And it pleaseth God that he hath given all these things unto man; for unto this end were they made to be used. (D&C 59:18–20)

What a gracious God who created these things to “gladden our hearts” and “enliven our souls.” Looking around at my wife and children, my mother, and my brothers and sisters enjoying the meal and the company, I felt such gratitude and joy. We laughed, we reminisced, we remembered our deceased father and grandpa with affection. That moment is frozen in my mind. It was as if my family had been right there with Lehi’s family—partaking of the fruit of the tree of life.

Nothing in the great and spacious building could have touched me in that tree-of-life moment. The pride, the wealth, the glitz, the glamour, the bling, the contentious words, the mocking and scoffing—who cares? I would have “heeded them not” without a second thought. It would have been an easy decision and an easy distinction—the lasting joy of the tree of life trumping the temporary pleasure of the great and spacious.

But tree-of-life moments don’t last forever. Eventually, the holiday celebration comes to an end, the inspiring conference session closes, the cherished quiet moments in the celestial room give way to the parking lot, and it’s back to the lone and dreary world. Elder Albert E. Bowen observed both the temporary nature of tree-of-life moments and the solution to holding on to their sweetness when he counseled: “When [men] are under the influence of an exalted occasion, they make high resolves. They firmly determine to avoid past mistakes and to do better. But gone out from under the spell of that influence and absorbed in the complicated pursuits of life, they find difficulty in holding fast to their noble purposes. . . . So it is essential that they come again, and frequently, under the influence which kindles anew the warmth of spirit in which good resolutions are begotten. . . . Happily, if they refresh themselves frequently enough under ennobling influences, the spirit of repentance will be at work with them, and they will make conquest of some temptations—rise above them—and advance thus far toward their final goal” (Bowen, in Conference Report, October 1949, 139; emphasis added).

That is the answer: Come again and frequently to the tree of life. If there is a chance to feel the Spirit, come again! A chance to hear the pleasing word of God, come again! A chance to fellowship with brothers and sisters, come again! No wonder the counsel is to pray morning, noon, and night, to search the scriptures daily, to take the sacrament weekly, to fast monthly, to visit the temple as frequently as circumstances permit. Each is an opportunity to refresh ourselves at the tree of life, until, as Alma promised, there will be a tree of life springing up in us unto everlasting life (see Alma 33:23).