I am fortunate that Simon & Schuster gave me the chance to write this book, and I am fortunate for so many people who helped me during this long process.

I want to thank my agent, Jackie Ko, who invested invaluable time and energy into all my creative pursuits from the beginning.

I also want to thank my editor, Jonathan Cox, who made this project happen. I am beyond grateful for his input, which enhanced the book at every level.

Eric Brewster was the first person to lay eyes on any of this material. I want to thank him for letting me know which of my stream-of-consciousness ideas should stay in my head and which should make it to the page.

I want to thank my parents, Stephen Blatt and Faith Minard, for instilling in me the virtues needed to create this book. I’d also like to thank my older brother, Zach Blatt, who has influenced me since I was born.

Tony Khan was beyond helpful, and I thank him for being a great friend.

I want to thank everyone, living and dead, from the Harvard Lampoon. Without being a part of such a sharp community of writers, I never would have developed the mindset or skills required to complete this book.

In addition, I want to thank all these amazing people, both for their generous input and for their hospitality. Thanks to Andy Spielvogel, Zack and Jody Wortman, Kurt Slawitschka, Katie Ryan, Ben Silva, Eric Arzoian, Florian Mayr, Daniel Claridge, Peter Manges, Sierra Katow, Daniel Bredar, Tyler Richard, Ethan Glasserman, E. J. Bensing, Meryl Natow, Ari Rubin, James Yoder, Jeffrey Hajdin, Nicole Levin, and J. J. Shpall.