LUCAS FINISHES HIS GIGS EARLY THE NEXT DAY AND COMES OVER. CHEF Lilly comes through and makes exactly what he requested.
“I think someone asked for cheesecake drizzled with caramel,” Chef Lilly says, placing a giant slice in front of Lucas.
A huge grin pops onto his face. “Did I ever tell you how much I like you?” he asks.
Chef Lilly smiles and hands him a fork. “Only every time I make you dessert for lunch.”
“Just don’t tell my parents, okay? My mom gets really upset if I don’t get enough vegetables.”
“Deal,” Chef Lilly says, then leaves the room.
Ethan shows up when Lucas is cutting his second piece. Uncle Randall has been at Harvard all morning, clearing his schedule. When Ethan walks in, I fill him in on what’s happening.
“So tomorrow—” I start.
He sits at the table across from Lucas, next to me. “Don’t I get a piece of cheesecake?”
I roll my eyes. “Do you want a piece of cheesecake?”
“Are you kidding? I always want cheesecake. Every time I come over. It’s my favorite dessert in the entire world.”
“Dude, me too,” Lucas says, and he stops eating long enough to fist bump Ethan. I can’t believe they’re bonding over cheesecake.
I cut Ethan a huge slice because otherwise Lucas will eat the entire thing. Then I break down and cut myself a second slice, too.
“Anyway, about tomorrow …,” I say. And I fill him in on our plans.
“Turkey?” Ethan mumbles with a mouthful of cheesecake. “You’re leaving tomorrow?”
I finish chewing before I answer. “It was going to be today, but Uncle Randall had to take care of a few things.”
He runs a hand through his blond hair, and I realize that maybe this is the perfect excuse. There is no way he’ll actually be able to go. He may not even have a passport.
“Can we wait?” he finally says. I guess he’s having the same doubts.
I’m about to give him the fifty reasons why we can’t wait when Uncle Randall walks in.
“I took care of everything,” he says, handing Ethan a folder. On the front of it is written LIBRARIES OF LOVE. “You’ve been signed up to build libraries in Uganda for the next month.”
Ethan stares at the folder then looks to Uncle Randall.
“For real for your parents,” Uncle Randall says. “And for the record, I do not like lying to them at all. But in this situation, I don’t see any other way around it.”
So much for hopes of leaving Ethan behind.
“We leave tomorrow. Meet us at the airport.” Then Uncle Randall cuts himself a slice of cheesecake and leaves the room.
Lucas leans back and pats his stomach, which isn’t sticking out even the smallest amount. I don’t know how he can eat so many desserts and never gain weight. “It’s pretty amazing when you think about it,” he says. “You might actually find your parents. That’s like the coolest thing ever.”
The lump in my throat is there before I can stop it, and I don’t trust myself to speak. My parents might actually still be alive. Out there waiting for me. I imagine seeing Mom, running up to her, letting her hug me the way she used to do when I was only a child. It’s a dream I’ve had forever, even though I knew it would never come true. Now, with the sliver of hope that it might happen, I feel like an avalanche of emotion could come toppling down on me if only I give it the tiniest of nudges.
“What would be cool would be if somehow my brother could come back to life,” Ethan says, knocking me back to reality. “Now that would be cool.”
A weird wave of guilt rolls over me. My parents are missing. Maybe dead. His twin brother did die. He probably has the same dreams about Caden, but the only difference now is that his dreams will never come true. And even though logically I know I shouldn’t feel any guilt about this, I can’t help it.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
Ethan shrugs but doesn’t say anything in response.
“Okay, Hannah,” Lucas says. “I may not be able to physically be there, but you keep me up to date on everything. I can help, even if I’m not there. I don’t care what time of day or night. You let me know if you need anything.”
“You’re not going?” Ethan says. I can’t tell if he’s surprised or if he’s pushing Lucas’s buttons. If the latter, then he totally succeeds.
“I have to work,” Lucas says. “But I swear, if I hear one thing about you not being cool, I will find a way to fly to Turkey and kick your ass myself.”
Ethan puts his hands up and leans back. “No worries, man. I swear.”
“I mean it,” Lucas says. “I already don’t like this.”
I rest a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. Everything is going to be perfect.”
I say this as much for myself as for Lucas. If he thinks he’s nervous about what’s ahead, he knows nothing. The butterflies in my stomach are having a full-on dance party. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for my entire life.