I CAN REMEMBER telling the careers officer who came to our school that I might try for the army. This was mainly because I didn’t know what else to do for a living. I had always wanted to be a professional footballer in a women’s professional league, but as there was no such thing at that time I couldn’t see how my dream could come true. One thing was clear: a professional league for women wasn’t going to happen in England any time soon. I don’t think I was ever serious about the army, I just thought to myself: ‘What else can I do?’ I considered training to be a firefighter and a policewoman as well. There was also the Physical Education route, which had always interested me.
So from the age of sixteen I went to West Herts College in Watford and studied for a BTEC National Diploma in Sports Science. Football looked like it was going to be no more than a pastime for me. But in my heart there was always that hope of one day being a professional footballer.
Then, during my second year at college, I was spotted playing in the Watford Football Festival – an annual tournament featuring teams from the USA, Denmark, Germany and Sweden. I was representing Pinner Park that day and we got to play an American team in the final. During the match a guy called Terry Undercoffer got talking to my dad on the touchline and told him that this player for Pinner was a really special talent and that she could probably get a scholarship to go to the States.
That player from Pinner was me.
After the match I met up with Terry and he sold the whole dream package to me: scholarship, education, housing and, of course, football. He told me that I could play football every day!
This was my dream. I was stunned. Obviously I was very interested but I didn’t want to leave England at such a young age. I also wanted to finish my BTEC diploma and make sure I had that under my belt before I went anywhere in the world.
But a scholarship like this to the USA did not come around every day. In my eyes it was an opportunity to be a professional athlete because I would be playing football every day, which is all I really wanted to do. The alternative was to stay at home and train on Tuesday and Thursday evenings with my club side. Ultimately, that wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to be on a ball each and every day. I needed to be on a ball each and every day.
Three American colleges showed an interest in me: Seton Hall, in New Jersey; Rutgers, in New Jersey; and George Mason, in Virginia. I spoke with all three coaches and I felt most comfortable with the head coach at Seton Hall.
Betty Ann Kempf was good friends with Terry. He had passed my contact details along to her and that is why she’d become interested in me. Terry was obviously scouting for Betty Ann at the Watford Football Festival and had put my name forward.
I was flown out to view the campus and I met up with a few people who would help me out along the way, such as academic advisers. I stayed with a few of the girls in the dorm for a long weekend and they showed me round the place. I got to see a game with them too and it felt pretty much like it was the right choice for me from the off. The other two options, Rutgers and George Mason, just faded from my view.
But within this dream offer was a dilemma: I wanted to go and do it but I didn’t want to leave home. I remember wishing more than anything that I could have this opportunity in England, but it just wasn’t possible for a woman to be a professional footballer in my home country.
I was a timid character, and to leave home at such a young age was a massive thing for me to do. But I had to do it because I wanted to pursue my dreams. So I took the opportunity with both hands, held on to it and never let it go. However, I remained determined to get my BTEC qualifi – cation before leaving. I was anxious about insisting on this to Betty Ann, but I had to. I couldn’t risk cutting off my studies and going over to the States and it not work out for me. I needed to have something to fall back on. I needed a Plan B, just in case. They agreed to my terms and I got my head down and studied hard.
What an incredible turnaround. That was the start for me. My dreams in football had always been to play professionally, to play for Arsenal and to play for England. If you class Seton Hall as a professional arrangement, as I do, I managed to achieve all three of them before I turned twenty.
I’d also spent two successful seasons at Wembley Ladies after leaving school. I made my senior debut for them against Doncaster Belles in an FA Cup game in the 1993/94 season. The Belles really were the team to beat at that time with vastly experienced England internationals playing for them such as Gillian Coultard and Karen Walker. No team could get anywhere near them, and as a result nobody gave us a prayer against them. But we held them at home in a cracking game that finished 3–3 and I scored my first senior goal in that match. Sadly, we lost the replay and they went on to win the cup for the third time in five years.
The following year I won my first full England cap, just three days after my seventeenth birthday, in a European Championship qualification match against Italy at Roker Park, home of Sunderland AFC. I had been playing well for Wembley so it was pleasing to be recognized in this way, but I was still pretty young to be selected. Ted Copeland was the coach who gave me my first England cap.
There is a funny story attached to my England debut. Norman Burns always believed I would play for England one day and he promised my dad that when it happened he was going to be there to see it with him. It just so happened that my first call-up was a good five hours’ drive up north for him. Obviously he didn’t want to travel all that way and not see me play so he called someone – I’m not sure whether it was the coach or a member of staff – and told them that he was my uncle and he wanted to know if I was playing or not, because he wanted to be there to see it if I was. Incredibly, they told him I was due to start. So Norman actually knew before I did! He made the trip all the way up to the north-east with my dad. It was a cold night in early November and we drew 1–1, but they were both ecstatic.
Carolina Morace was playing up front for the Italians and she was impressive. I started the match on the left wing, running up and down and trying to get crosses in for the forwards. Marieanne Spacey and Karen Walker were up front that night. My future England coach Hope Powell played in that match too. It was a good experience for me, and it was great to win a cap.
A few weeks later I scored my first goal for my country in a 5–0 home win against Croatia, at The Valley, home of Charlton Athletic. At that time, the England women’s team still had to play in England men’s shirts – but that didn’t matter to me when I was hitting the back of the net.
Playing and scoring for England was great, but I had become disillusioned at Wembley. As I grew older and I grew in confidence, I found I always wanted the ball – and I didn’t always get the ball. The training there was also based on fitness rather than contact with the ball, and that frustrated me a lot. The coach, John Jones, always put a lot of emphasis on physical fitness in his coaching sessions. He focused on fitness work much more than ball work. I wanted to play on the ball as much as possible. I thought he had his priorities the wrong way round.
After one particular game I made a decision, and it was final. I told my dad that I had had enough at Wembley and I didn’t want to play for them any more. It didn’t go down too well but I wanted out. And I couldn’t have found a better place to go.
I signed for Arsenal Ladies the following week, and I opened my heart to team coach Vic Akers about everything, telling him that I had been hoping and praying that this would one day happen to me. Wherever I had played, I remember always thinking to myself: ‘I hope there’s a scout from Arsenal here today.’ Vic told me in no uncertain terms that he would never have come in for me in this way. He knew all about me, of course, but he explained that Arsenal Ladies always waited for players to come to them, not the other way round. I was a very shy person so that wasn’t going to happen. I would never have gone for a trial at Arsenal under my own steam. So I suppose it had been a stand-off between the two of us: he wasn’t going to come for me and I wasn’t going to go to him.
Vic would always mention my name to Norman Burns when he saw me play, both at Pinner Park and Wembley Ladies. I never knew about it at the time of course, but he’d subtly let it be known to Norman that he would be interested in me going to Arsenal Ladies if it suited me. So when Norman heard from my dad that I was unhappy at Wembley and looking to leave, he gave Vic the nod straight away.
I am really glad he did. Vic has been absolutely fantastic for me and my career. He has done wonders for Arsenal too. And, of course, it was another dream come true to play for them.
I am an Arsenal fan; my affinity has always been with them. I had supported them as a kid and I just wanted to wear their strip and play for them. I had the first yellow JVC kit with the blue shorts. That strip was my pride and joy. I’d always wanted to wear that kit and to be called an Arsenal player.
When I signed for Arsenal, Vic was brilliant. He showed me the marble hall at Highbury with the bronze bust of the club’s legendary manager Herbert Chapman and then he took me out on to the pitch. I was in my element. It was so surreal for me to be in that stadium that day, looking around the empty stands. Vic took me upstairs and I saw all the trophies from the glory days. I went into the changing rooms too and saw all the bathtubs the greats had used. For me, having supported them from such a young age, it was a truly amazing experience. Vic even gave me a pair of Ian Wright’s boots as a gesture afterwards – what a great way for him to sell the club to me! After all this, how could I possibly say no?
I signed my Arsenal contract in the club boardroom. It was near the end of 1996 and I remember the room was full of Christmas cards. My dad was looking all over the place to see if the club had received one from Watford FC – he eventually found that they had!
We went outside to watch the first team train, and as we walked down the tunnel we came face to face with Martin Keown. He was coming in from the opposite direction and looked absolutely massive. I think the top of his leg must have been the thickness of my waist. We sat in the stands and watched the training session in full. Arsène Wenger had not been at the club very long (that’s how long ago it was), and I watched him intently that day. He stood on the touchline talking to Pat Rice, his coach. It was great to see all that going on right in front of my eyes.
Vic was really sweet throughout. He was so made up with me signing for him that he got it mentioned in the Arsenal match-day programme soon afterwards. And I was so made up I thought all my Christmases had come together at once.
I am proud to say that I helped Arsenal Ladies win the Premier League title at the end of that season, scoring two goals and providing an assist for the third in a 3–0 win over Liverpool which secured the championship for us. We were allowed to play that final game of the season at Highbury too, which was a massive treat for all of us and the ultimate for me.
But then it was time to say goodbye. Vic and I both knew that once my studies were completed, my move to the USA was assured. So I bid farewell and headed west. Vic was disappointed, but he was also really good about it all. He told me that if it didn’t work out for me I was more than welcome to come straight back to Arsenal.
I’d had a great season with Arsenal and it was a hard decision for me to go to New Jersey: after all, I was now living part of my dream by playing for them. My England career was progressing nicely too. I was now firmly established in the team and I had scored a few goals. By the summer of 1997 I had four to my name from fourteen appearances. All of my strikes had come in our European Championship qualification campaign: two against Croatia, one against Italy and one against Portugal.
The match against Italy was played in Calabria, a beautiful spot in the southern part of the country that forms the toe of the Italian boot. Sadly, this match turned out to be a costly 2–1 defeat for us. Italy won the group and England finished behind them in second place.
We missed out on a place in the 1997 Women’s European Championship, held jointly in Norway and Sweden, after losing to Spain 3–2 on aggregate in a two-legged play-off. We lost 2–1 away in Montilla, near Cordoba, and could only draw 1–1 at Prenton Park in the return leg.
Italy, the country I had made my international debut against, were a decent side. They finished as runners-up in the tournament, losing 2–0 in the final to Germany. And Morace, the striker who had impressed me so much at Roker Park on my debut, scored both their goals as they knocked out co-hosts Norway at the group stage. She went on to be the top goalscorer in the finals, with five goals. Spain got to the semi-finals there as well. So, all in all, we had come up against two of the better teams in Europe during our failed attempt to qualify for that competition. It had been my first international campaign. I had played in eight games and enjoyed the experience. But we didn’t get to go to the party at the end. I would have to wait a few more years before I reached my first international tournament with England.
There was no written agreement with Seton Hall, just a verbal one, so I could have withdrawn and stayed at Arsenal. But, as I said, Arsenal and England wasn’t the whole dream. Deep down, I knew I owed it to myself to go. I didn’t have a job when I was at Arsenal and I wasn’t getting paid to play for Arsenal. I had to go to America and better myself.
I had kept in touch with Seton Hall throughout my BTEC studies on a weekly basis via telephone. I still had to gain the right grades at college to be accepted there, so that was a big stress for me because I wasn’t the best at school. But I got the grades – I just scraped through – and all that remained for me was to get on that plane.
At the age of eighteen, I felt as if I had fulfilled my life’s dream overnight. In my mind, at that very moment I switched from being an amateur to a professional. It was a truly amazing feeling. This is what I had been waiting for, yet for so long I hadn’t been able to see how it would ever happen for me. It wasn’t going to happen to me in England, that I was sure about, and other than playing football for a living I really didn’t know what else to do with my life. Only a year or so earlier I hadn’t had a clue where my life was heading. It was fate that Terry Undercoffer came along and saw me play that day. I am so glad that he did.
I went to America to play football. I know that’s probably not the right reason to go and sign a three-year scholarship in a lot of people’s eyes because they would think that education should come first, not second. But I went there for the football. I went there to be, in my eyes, a full-time professional. End of story.