When Drew and I emerge from the arrival gate, I see them all—his mom, his dad, and the girls—holding a big banner that says, Welcome Back, Angelica! I hold it in, willing myself not to cry.
“Ange! Oh dear, sweetheart!” Drew’s mom, Nancy—the only mother I’ve ever known—rushes to me for a tight embrace. His dad, Bert, welcomes me with open arms. And the girls—Cindy and Laceley—drop the big banner and jump right in to welcome me back. This is the only family I’ve ever had.
“What am I, chopped liver?” Drew complains, following it with a thunderous laugh. Nancy hugs her son. I see in my periphery that she has given him a small pat on his head as if to say, “Well done.” Though he smiles to acknowledge it, there is sadness in his eyes. I understand this because slowly I’m feeling that same sense of gloom. The lie.
When Cindy and Laceley pull away from me, they start jumping up and down. Both in their early twenties, they did not try to hide their excitement and relief. I know how Drew loves his little sisters, and how they both adore him.
“We’re going shopping later today, and we’re going to choose the most beautiful dress for you. You’ll look like Cinderella at the ball,” Laceley declares. And in a lot of ways, she’s not wrong. I will be that girl who, at the stroke of reality, will go back to a life that does not include Drew or any of them.
“Let’s go get some breakfast at Bruno’s.” Bert gathers the crowd to the exit, pulling my rolling luggage behind him. “We’ve missed you around here, Angel. Welcome back home.”
When my dad passed away three years ago, Nancy and Bert sent me a check for a substantial amount. It’s still in my closet somewhere, uncashed. How can they welcome me with open arms when I rejected them for years? Unguarded, I feel Drew’s hand on mine. He probably noticed that I am shaking.
“You okay?” he asks when we’re finally alone behind the excited group. I nod.
I can’t speak right now because if I do, I’ll bawl. We may be pretending to be what we are not, but my love for these people is real. And despite all the years that I tried to forget them, I know my love is still here.
Nancy insists on paying for a blush-colored gown with subtle silver sequins and beads sprinkled all over the fabric in flower silhouettes. It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. We even find the perfect silver strappy sandals to go with it.
“Tita Nancy, please let me pay,” I say in front of the cashier.
“I’ve missed you. Now that my eldest daughter has returned home, I’ll lavish you with everything I missed doing the past decade. You wait and see what I’ll do to my grandchildren. I’ll spoil your kids rotten,” she says. I almost choke up, but cover it with a light laugh.
Nancy hooks her arm through mine as we walk away from the store.
“So, tell me. How did it happen this time? I’m excited to know. Drew has been moping around for a decade now, and when he called me last month to tell me that you’re back in his life, he was so happy.” Nancy says.
“We bumped into each other at a Georgetown bar.” I offer, smiling widely. This is the story, as promised. We don’t need to lie.
“I bet he gave you a long spiel. Oh, I remember him and the girls practicing those lines for years. I’m sure it melted your heart instantly.” She puts her arm around my shoulders and pulls me to her for a half embrace. “I’m just so glad you’re back in his life. It was hard, the first few years after you left for London. By that time, he was done with law school and had started clerking for Senator Foster. He said that job was perfect because it kept him busy, and the pain was easier to handle. He was like a zombie, and we were all worried about him.”
“It hasn’t been easy for me either.” I give her a subtle, sideward glance. This is not a lie.
“I know. I heard. There was a point when Dad and I wanted to intervene. Fly to London and beg you to take him back. He was such a mess, it terrified us. But I also know Drew. I knew that he would find his way back to his dreams and ambitions. And to you.”
His ambition was the reason things went south for us. Seeing him with Kate that night was the final nail in the coffin. I don’t think Drew understood that I was not willing to take a back seat, that I would not give everything up when he decided to go into politics. When I told him about the offer in London, he cringed.
He likes to be loud and proud, and I like to play behind the scenes. I couldn’t just be standing next to him in a powder-blue dress, smiling at his constituents while inwardly cursing every minute of it.
“The people of his district love him. He’s doing a great job,” I say, beaming for Nancy.
“There were conversations about the White House someday, Ange. But this is a decision you will make as a couple.”
The White House? I want to tell her that after Christmas Day, I will never be part of his or their lives. I’ll make sure I hide in the shadows again. I’ll make sure we never ever cross paths. I feel a sharp jab in my heart at this thought, and, instinctively, I put my hand over my chest. I’ve protected this part of my life so well. I can’t let them all in again.
“I’m sure in time we will have to talk about this. But for now, we just want to be surrounded by love and family.” I immediately wonder if this is considered a lie. Guilt jumps straight to my gut.
“You’re right. It’s the reason you’re perfect for Drew. You know how to put structure into things—whether it’s work, life, or love. He needs you in his life.”
“I don’t think he’s that helpless.” I laugh. “He became a senator without me.” He became a senator because Kate was standing next to him, I add in my head.
“How many times did he call me to ask if he should reach out to you for advice, for guidance? He’s been very lost,”
I look away as she says this. But how about me? Who gets to understand me? I don’t have a mother who has my best interests at heart. No father to stand up for me and support my dreams. No big family to hold my hand. I crawled to survive the last ten years.
“And I know it’s not been easy for you either. We’re here for you, Ange. Please know we will forever be here for you.”
“I’m sorry for not saying goodbye.”
“Many times, I just wanted to call you and tell you that you’re my daughter too—regardless of your relationship with Drew. I wanted us to have a relationship. I missed how you used to call me just for simple things like what color dress to wear or lipstick to buy. Little things that mother and daughter share.” I see tears forming in her eyes. “But you’re here now. Back in my life, and I plan to spoil you rotten.”
We turn the corner to meet Cindy and Laceley at a dessert shop where they had sent a text earlier to say they were stopping for ice cream.
When we walk through the door, I see another person sitting next to them. The lighting is softer inside, and I wait for my eyes to adjust. When the third person turns around, I drop my haul on the floor in utter surprise. It’s the same woman I saw Drew with on his porch the last time I saw him.
Kate Maxwell.