Nineteen

As soon as Paul finished eating, he went upstairs to get his bag while Talulah waited nervously in the living room. She had the feeling he was hoping she’d ask him to stay and didn’t want to have that conversation. At this point, she was so glad he was leaving she dreaded going back to Seattle.

As hard as it had been for her to face coming home to Coyote Canyon, she’d never dreamed she’d begin to feel the same about Seattle.

Telling herself they’d just gotten on each other’s nerves, that once her stint in her hometown was behind her all would go back to normal, she packed up some of her mother’s aunt’s strawberry preserves as she heard him coming down the stairs.

“You’re going to love this jam my great aunt put up. I’m sending a few jars home with you.”

“Thanks.” He peered into the bag she handed him before meeting her gaze. “I’m sorry I couldn’t put what happened with Brant behind me. I tried, but...maybe with more time.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She managed a smile. “Every relationship has its rough patches. We’ll get through this.”

He seemed relieved. “Yeah, I guess they do. See you when you get home.”

She walked him out to his car, gave him a stilted hug and waved goodbye as he backed down the drive.

After he was gone, she waited for the remorse to hit her, a desire to chase him down and bring him back, but she felt only relief—the same kind of relief she’d felt when she’d escaped her three engagements, as if all she wanted to do was run and run and never look back.

Except this time she had to go back. They had a business together.

It wasn’t until she stepped onto the porch and once again encountered Paul’s botched fix on the screen door that she remembered Ellen wanted to hear from her.

Paul’s gone, Talulah texted her neighbor. What’s going on? Do you want to come back over?

She sent a few screenshots of a text exchange she’d had with Brant and Talulah sank into the closest chair before making it larger so it’d be easier to read.

No answer.

A few minutes later, Ellen texted him again: Why don’t you drive by like Charlie always does? [laughing emoji]

No answer.

Every beat of Talulah’s heart seemed to reverberate through her body as she reread Brant’s last text. She hadn’t been ready for what they’d had, however brief it was, to end, either. But what’d happened so far had all but destroyed her relationship with Paul.

No way could she see Brant again.

“Paul’s gone,” Kurt said. “You know that, right?”

Brant was in the barn, oiling a new saddle, and refused to look over at his brother, who’d just finished brushing down the horses and mucking out the stalls. “So?” he said. It’d been four days since Paul went back to Seattle. Brant knew because Ellen had sent him a message when Paul left last Sunday, and Brant had spent every day since then watching his phone, hoping to hear from Talulah.

But she hadn’t been in touch. That right there told him she wasn’t feeling the same thing he was. And if she wasn’t feeling the same thing, he had to let her go. Otherwise, he’d only get himself in deeper. Then when she went back to Seattle he’d feel even worse than he did now.

“I just thought you’d want to know.” Kurt tossed the brush he’d been using onto a shelf. “You haven’t been yourself since he came into town. I thought if you knew he was gone, maybe it’d help.”

“I’m fine,” Brant insisted.

His brother responded with a skeptical snort. “If that’s the case, why are you acting like a bear with a thorn in its paw?”

Brant straightened. “I’ll get over it, okay?” He was trying to make that happen sooner rather than later, but it wasn’t easy with Talulah still in town. Knowing she was that close kept him hanging on to the possibility that he’d see her again, even if he only bumped into her somewhere.

“Turns out I have just the thing to help,” Kurt said.

Brant could hardly imagine what his brother was about to suggest. “I’m not interested.”

“You’d rather keep sulking?”

Was that how he was coming across? Brant didn’t want to be as annoying as Charlie. “What do you want me to do?” he asked grudgingly.

“I told Kate I’d take her and some of her friends to the lake on Saturday. I was hoping you’d come along.”

“You need a wingman?”

“Sort of. Ranson’s going to that bachelor party, but Miles will be joining us.”

“Then why do you want me to go?”

Kurt grinned. “There’ll be more girls than even I can handle, bro.”

Brant couldn’t help laughing. He considered Kate and her friends too young for him. But he figured waterskiing would be better than moping around the ranch, continuing to hope he’d hear from Talulah. “Okay, I’ll go.”

It was Friday afternoon when Jane came over to help Talulah pack up Phoebe’s house, but they’d stopped working over an hour ago, prepared a big salad for dinner and were now sitting on the porch swing, enjoying the sunset with a glass of wine.

“You’re really not going to call him?” Jane asked.

Talulah puffed out her cheeks before letting her breath go. Jane had been trying to get her to open up about Brant for hours. Although Talulah had been able to dodge those questions so far, they weren’t busy anymore, which meant she couldn’t act too preoccupied to answer. “No.”

“Why not? Kurt told Kate he’d never seen his brother quite so down. Brant cares about you, Lu. You’re breaking his heart.”

Talulah rolled her eyes. “That’s a little dramatic. Are you forgetting that this is a man who’s never had a steady girlfriend?”

“You’re saying he doesn’t have a heart?”

“I’m saying he guards it far too well to give me even a small piece of it. He’d never allow himself to fall for the woman he calls the runaway bride, because then the joke would be on him.”

“I get the impression he’s as surprised as we are—and that he knows the joke is on him.”

Talulah gazed at the incredible array of lavender, orange and red on the horizon. She had to admit that, just like the stars, the sunsets here were some of the most beautiful she’d ever seen. “I doubt that. But even if it’s true, it’s better if he forgets me sooner rather than later.”

Jane took a sip of her wine. “Why do you say that? You don’t care about him?”

“Of course I do. That’s why I’m staying away. I don’t want to hurt him, too. I seem to hurt every man I get involved with. Paul and I can hardly say a civil word to each other these days.”

“I heard you on the phone earlier,” she said with a grimace. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s sad.” Talulah drained her glass. “We got along so well before. And I have no idea how to patch things up. He still calls me every day, but we can barely get through a conversation without an argument.” She stopped the swing long enough to put her glass down where she wouldn’t knock it over. “Now we’re even arguing about what’s best for the diner. I swear...when I see his name pop up on my phone, I feel sick inside.”

“But if you can’t continue as you were with Paul, why not let yourself see Brant while you’re here?”

Because there was something wrong with her. Because they wouldn’t really have a chance. And because he’d be stupid to open his heart to someone like her. She didn’t even want him to take the chance. “There are too many reasons to list,” she said with a sigh. “You don’t hop onto a train that’s speeding toward a brick wall.”

“How do you know this time won’t be different?”

“Because now you have two people who aren’t any good at commitment. Besides that complication, we live in different states. And...”

When she let her words dwindle away, Jane twisted around to face her. “And?”

“I’ve decided to try, once again, to make up with Averil, and I know I’ll never be able to do that if I’m still seeing Brant.”

Jane’s eyes went wide. “Are you kidding me? After how she’s treated you?”

“I think she might’ve been willing to let the past go. It was my involvement with Brant that made her hate me all over again. She wants him herself.”

“You’re assuming if you back off, she can have him? What was stopping them from getting together before you got here?”

“Even if they don’t get together, at least she can’t blame me for taking him from her. I wouldn’t be happy if the woman who stood up my brother at the altar returned to town and started sleeping with the guy I’ve wanted since forever. Who would?”

“I get that. And you know I care about Averil, too. But...giving up Brant for her might be a bit much to ask.”

“Not if it could never work out anyway.”

“What did he say when you took the carrot cake over to him on Tuesday?” she asked, stopping the swing to put down her glass as Talulah had done.

She’d been talking to Jane on the phone while she was baking or Jane wouldn’t have known about the cake. Talulah sort of regretted telling her. She wasn’t sure why she’d been baking for him in the first place, except that she was dying to see him again. He was on her mind constantly. “I didn’t take it to him.”

“Why not?” she asked in surprise.

“Ellen had some friends over. When I drove past her place and saw all the cars, I decided it’d be better to give it to her for her company.”

“But you made it for him!” Jane protested.

Talulah had actually baked another cake for Brant last night, and she hadn’t delivered that one, either. Knowing it would be a mistake starting things up again, she’d bailed out and left it on Averil’s doorstep instead. “I know, but...like I said, if I could make up with Averil while I’m here, I’d have a better chance of keeping that kind of a relationship than a romantic one.” She frowned. “Averil’s the only friend who’s ever become an enemy. I can’t say that about the men I’ve dated.”

Jane scowled. “I hope she appreciates what you’re doing.”

“It’s possible she won’t. But even if she doesn’t, I couldn’t take a cake to Brant.”

“Because...” Jane prodded.

“I was afraid it would start something again.” Deep down she’d been dying for it to start something again. “And I don’t want to disrupt his life. He was happy before I got here. I prefer to leave him that way.” It was difficult enough to cope with the guilt she felt for crushing the three men she’d almost married. Now Paul, like them, was claiming he’d never forgive her. She didn’t want Brant to end up hating her, too.

“I think you’re making a mistake, Lu,” Jane said. “I’ve never heard of Brant acting like this over a woman.”

“If I back off now, he’ll get over it in, like...a week.” She snapped her fingers for emphasis. “And it’s for the best. I’m not to be trusted. He’d be the first to tell you that.”

“You could be selling yourself short.”

“In what way?”

“Maybe it’s just that you haven’t met the right guy. For all you know, Brant could be the one. And, selfishly, I’d like to see you two get together, because then you’d move back to Coyote Canyon.”

“And leave my business?” Talulah said with a laugh.

“You never know.” She nudged Talulah’s leg with hers. “How’re your stitches healing?”

“They’re starting to itch.”

“That’s a good sign. Can you get them wet?”

“I do it every day in the shower.”

“I mean, like...in a lake?”

“I think so. Why?”

“Kate has a friend with a boat. She’s invited us to go waterskiing with her tomorrow. Any interest?”

Talulah was feeling so much pressure to finish her great aunt’s house in time, she didn’t dare. “I’m behind. I should stay here and keep working. The attic was so full of junk it took me all week to sort through it.”

“The rest should go quicker,” Jane argued. “Come with me. Who knows when you’ll be back in Coyote Canyon. We might as well have some fun while you’re here. Besides, we won’t be going until four.”

Maybe she was taking life too seriously—always pushing, always worried. Telling herself to relax and live a little, Talulah smiled as she looped her arm through Jane’s. “Okay.”

Averil closed her eyes as she savored the buttery rich taste of the big slice of carrot cake in front of her. Her parents had taken Mitch to the grocery store with them, so she had a moment to enjoy it uninterrupted—until the front door banged opened and Charlie called out a hello.

Sheltering her plate with her arm, she stuffed a huge bite into her mouth, trying to finish before he could discover what she was eating. But, of course, he sniffed it out like a bloodhound and came directly into the kitchen. “Where’d you get that?” he asked.

She couldn’t talk because of the food in her mouth, so she gestured at the fridge.

He pulled out the rest of the cake. “This looks delicious,” he exclaimed as he cut himself a big piece. “Did you or Mom make it?”

She was tempted to say she’d made it. That would stop all the questions and let her go back to eating in peace. But she was afraid he’d mention the cake in front of their parents, who would know better. It was her mother who’d answered the doorbell last night to find no one there and the cake on the mat. “No.”

“You bought it? Where?”

She swallowed the rest of what was in her mouth. “Someone left it on the doorstep last night.”

“Who?”

She shrugged. “Someone from the church, I guess.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know.”

He seemed mildly surprised, but willing to accept what she’d said, at first. Then he looked back at the cake and a puzzled expression came over his face. “Wait a minute... It couldn’t be someone from church. No one we know makes cakes this fancy, except...Talulah.”

Averil had come to the same conclusion the moment her mother had carried it in last night. It was just easier to let herself enjoy it if she pretended there was still some question. “I don’t think it was her,” she said, adding a dose of skepticism she didn’t really feel. “Why would Talulah bake for us?”

“I couldn’t tell you, especially since she believes one of us threw a rock through her window and cut her arm.”

Averil shot him a glance. “You’re saying you didn’t?”

He looked affronted. “Of course not. Did you?”

“No!” she said. “Why would I do something like that?”

“We both know why. You’ve always had a thing for Brant. When we were younger, anytime he came over, I couldn’t get rid of you.”

“I thought you wanted to see us together, too. You’ve told me a million times that he’d make a great father for Mitch.”

Charlie seemed tempted to argue, but Averil knew he couldn’t. He’d said that on numerous occasions. He just wasn’t eager to pay Brant such a high compliment now that they weren’t getting along. “This is definitely a Talulah cake,” he said, changing the subject. “I’ve seen it on her website. And I’ve heard several people talk about the dinner she made for the funeral. They always mention the carrot cake as if it was something special.”

And they were right. Averil had never tasted anything better. “So...if it was Talulah who gave it to us, does that mean you won’t eat it?” she asked.

“After what she’s done to me, I shouldn’t,” he said sulkily. “Was there a note?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? It could’ve blown away. Because it’s strange she wouldn’t want credit for this.”

“The cake itself tells us who it’s from, right? But for all Talulah knows, we dumped it in the trash.”

“That’s how you justify eating it? Where are your ideals?” he asked, but grinned as he carried his plate over to the table.

She raised her eyebrows as he sat across from her and took his first bite. “Apparently in the same place as yours.”

“Like you said, she’ll never know.”

Averil felt a slight twinge of discomfort for rolling over so easily. She’d been furious with Talulah since forever. But she wasn’t nearly as upset as she’d been before. Word was going around town that Talulah had dumped Brant, and that brought so much relief she no longer cared about the ruined wedding fourteen years ago. Current disaster had been averted, and once Talulah left town and everything returned to normal, maybe Brant would realize he’d overlooked the one woman who’d loved him the longest and would make him the happiest. “We should let the past go,” she said.

Charlie gaped at her. “You don’t care about what she did to me anymore?”

Averil finished the last of her cake, even scraped the crumbs off her plate. What she’d never voiced to her brother was how much she’d missed Talulah. She just hadn’t allowed herself to admit it over the years for fear she’d break down and call her. “I gave up one of my best friends because of what she did to you,” she said softly. “But she’s never done anything to me. And it’s been fourteen years. Isn’t that long enough to show my loyalty, Charlie?”

He didn’t answer right away. “It doesn’t make things any easier on me that everyone else likes her so much,” he finally said, using his fork to move the frosting around on his cake.

“I know. And I’m sorry. But I’ve been feeling left out myself. Jane keeps going over to Phoebe’s, where Talulah’s staying, and the honest truth is I’d like to go with her.”

He frowned, but eventually, regretfully, shrugged. “If you want to be friends with her again, I’ll understand.”

“I think it would be nice to at least explore the possibility.” She imagined hanging out at Phoebe’s—imagined it once again being the three of them, laughing and enjoying each other like old times—and felt a flicker of hope. With a little forgiveness and a lot of effort, they might be able to salvage what they’d once had.

As long as Talulah stayed away from Brant.

Once Talulah had agreed to go to the lake, she started getting excited about it. But she hadn’t brought a swimsuit to Coyote Canyon. She had to wake up early and run over to Bozeman to find one.

She ended up buying a bikini with a top that laced up in back, and she chose white because it made the most of the slight suntan she’d been able to get this summer hiking with Paul. She also picked up some white-framed sunglasses, a pair of red flip-flops and a red-and-white tote bag she could use to carry her sunblock, a T-shirt and a pair of shorts.

It was noon by the time she finished shopping, but she hadn’t heard from Paul all morning. He was probably extra-busy at the diner, trying to get ready for the busiest night of the week—he’d had a lot of catching up to do after being away—but the relief she felt was weird. She was glad she didn’t have to talk to him...

She hated that something so important to her future had changed, but Jane kept sending her funny memes in anticipation of their getaway, and Talulah was somehow happier than she’d been in a long time. She’d thought she was perfectly satisfied in Seattle. But she was realizing just how out of balance her life had become. She’d allowed it to narrow down to her work and the hikes she went on with Paul. Being away from it all—not even hearing from him—left her feeling as though she’d broken free from something oppressive.

She called Debbie on the drive back to see how things were going. She’d been checking on her sister every day, so she knew both mother and baby were home, trying to adjust to their new schedules, and felt guilty that she hadn’t been back to see them. “You get any sleep last night?” she asked.

“It wasn’t too bad,” Debbie told her. “Abby got up twice to nurse, but went right back down each time.”

“That’s lucky. Does Scott ever get up with her?”

“No. Since he can’t nurse her, anyway, he says one of us might as well get some sleep.”

“He could bring the baby to you and take her back to bed,” Talulah pointed out. “Some dads do that.”

“He never did anything like that with our other kids, and he’s not going to change now. At least he kicks in later, when they get a little older.”

“Women have to do all the hard stuff,” Talulah joked. “It’s so unfair.”

“It really is,” her sister said, laughing with her. “Any word from Mom?”

“Not since I gave her a recap of the funeral. I’ll check in with her again tomorrow. Sunday’s our day to catch up. Have you heard from her?”

“She’s called a few times to ask about Abby. And I’ve sent pics. How’s everything going with the house?”

“It’s getting there, but slowly.”

“Once I’m back on my feet, I’ll bring the kids and come help.”

Talulah couldn’t imagine they’d get anything done with three kids to care for and a newborn, as well, but she was eager to see them. “You don’t need to help. I’d love to see you all. Let me know when you can make it, and I’ll prepare dinner for everyone.”

“That sounds good. No one can cook like you do. Have you heard from Brant?”

Her question dimmed the bright glow of Talulah’s happiness. “No. I’m trying to stay away from him, remember?”

“I remember. But part of me is like...when will you ever get this opportunity again?”

“What?” Talulah said, cracking up. “This is coming from my straitlaced sister?”

“Well, we are talking about Brant, and you only live once,” she joked.

“I’ve been tempted to look at it that way,” Talulah admitted. “But what about Averil?”

“What about her? The fact that she could hold a grudge for so long doesn’t speak highly of her.”

“I hurt her brother, Deb.”

“From what you’ve told me, the way she’s behaved lately has more to do with Brant.”

“That’s partly why I’ve decided to back away from him.”

“Even though it’s an unnecessary sacrifice? Let’s face it. If he wanted her, he’s had plenty of opportunity.”

“That’s not the point. The point is that even if she doesn’t get him, she wouldn’t want him to be with me.”

“Then what kind of friend could she be?”

Talulah slid her new sunglasses higher on her nose. “I don’t know. All I can say is that I miss having her in my life.” She missed Brant, too. Every night she had to overcome the urge to call him. But she didn’t add that. “Anyway, I’m only here for another week or two, so it’s very likely neither one of them will end up being part of my life.”

“Well, if you have to pick one or the other, I vote for Brant.”

Talulah pulled into the parking lot at the lake, where she was supposed to meet Jane, Kate and whoever else Kate had invited. “Duly noted.” She turned off the car and grabbed the tote where she’d stuffed a towel and all the things she wanted to bring with her. “I have to hang up. Jane’s invited me to go boating.”

“That sounds like fun. Have a great time.”

She said goodbye to Debbie, climbed out and headed down to the water, where she immediately spotted Jane and Kate on shore. Jane was wearing a black one-piece cut high on the leg and Kate looked great in the skimpiest string bikini Talulah had ever seen. Both of them wore sunglasses and held big striped towels.

“You look incredible,” Jane said as Talulah approached.

“Thanks. So do both of you. Where’re your other friends?” Talulah asked Kate.

“At the boat launch.” She gestured to a ski boat two men were taking off a trailer not far away.

“Wait! That’s Brant’s brother,” Talulah said as soon as they got close enough for her to see Kurt clearly.

“Yeah, of course,” Kate said as if she was surprised Talulah wouldn’t be expecting him. “It’s the Elways’ boat. Miles is Brant’s brother, too.”

She would’ve turned to Jane to see what was going on. But it’d dawned on her that the truck attached to the trailer belonged to Brant. He was sitting in the driver’s seat, looking at her through the open window he’d been using to help back the boat down the launch. His gaze connected with hers. Then his jaw hardened and he looked away.