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Riley leaned over the butcher-block countertop, calligraphy pen poised over a place card, waiting for Kenzie to spell out another name. They were seated across from each other on the tall stools bordering the breakfast bar.
Creating the place cards for her sister’s wedding reception should be a distraction, but Kenzie wanted to write them all up, in order to seat all the right people by all the other right people. Every time there was a lull while Kenzie searched for the next name, Riley’s thoughts took over again, dragging her into the frustration and lack of answers that had tormented her since Zane forced her out of his life a few days ago.
Kenzie gave her the next name, and Riley let the letters flow in black script across the card. She blew on the ink for a few seconds, to make sure it dried, and then handed it over.
“You’re quiet tonight.” Kenzie’s attention never left her list of guest names.
“I guess.” Riley didn’t want to talk about it. Rather, the person she wanted to talk about it with was the source of her angst. She knew he didn’t want to bring their friendship to an end, hated the idea as much as she did, and yet he let his past torment him into thinking he didn’t have a choice. Except, every time she honed in on the thought, doubt told her she read the situation wrong. Again. Like she had with every other guy she knew, but with Zane, the consequences were more serious. It wasn’t as simple as a broken heart. His hurt ran deeper.
“No, Stephen with a ph.” Kenzie placed a hand over Riley’s and pulled the misspelled card away.
“Sorry.” Riley sighed and grabbed another piece of decorated stock to write on. She’d lost count of how many times she screwed up that night. She was positive Kenzie knew the exact number, but her sister was kind enough not to call her on it.
Riley should make another effort to make this right with Zane. Make it clear she was taking the sex off the table, and was there for him. But if he pushed her away another time, how many nos would it take for her to get the hint?
“Okay. Just stop.” Kenzie plucked the pen from her hand and capped it. “Stephen also doesn’t have a Z. Or an A. Though at least you got the N and E right.”
Heat flooded Riley’s cheeks. She hadn’t quite written Zane’s name; it was some sort of bizarre hybrid of jumbled letters. “Sorry.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Kenzie studied her, concern heavy in her face.
Yes. “I’ll be fine.”
Kenzie shook her head. “Sure.” She slid another card across the counter. “Keep in mind I only picked up so many of these things.”
“I get it. Stephen then?”
“No. I want him sitting somewhere else.” Kenzie paused longer than she should have. “Archer Yates.”
Riley’s hand froze around the pen, gripping it until her knuckles ached, but unable to let go. “You did that on purpose.”
Kenzie stared back, her face an impassive mask. “You think I’d put my entire reception in disarray, to squeeze information out of you that you don’t want to give me? He’s Jen’s plus one. I want them at this table.”
Riley clenched her jaw. She knew Archer and his sister were attending, had even assured Kenzie several times she was fine with it, but it wasn’t as if she was going to argue. Kenzie and Jen were friends, and it wasn’t Riley’s place to ruin her sister’s wedding plans.
“I’m sorry.” Riley forced her hand to remain steady while she inked in his name. “Except this doesn’t put them at the same table, because there’s only one spot left, and you haven’t split up any of your other guests.”
Kenzie flinched. “This is different. They’re not a couple. They should mingle.”
Riley stared back, her mouth twisted in disbelief. “You’re going to break your own rules? Willingly?”
“What?” Kenzie took the card from her but didn’t place it on top of the stack, as she had all the others. “My rules, my exceptions.”
Kenzie didn’t make exceptions. Riley pursed her lips. “Sure.”
“Fine.” Kenzie’s shoulders slumped. “What’s the deal with you and Zane?”
The deal was she’d made the same mistake she had with Archer—slept with a good friend and confused sex with love. Except it wasn’t that simple, and this wasn’t really about her. Not directly. The deal was she felt more helpless than she ever remembered feeling in her life. She dropped her pen. “I’m done.”
“Riley.”
Riley’s gut turned in on itself. “Nothing.” The single word came out harsher than she expected. “There’s no deal with us.”
“You were holding hands half the night at dinner.”
The memory throbbed in Riley’s temple, and an ache settled in her throat. She couldn’t find a response, not that she trusted herself to speak anyway. Silence stretched between them.
“I’ll drop it.” Kenzie turned her attention to the already scripted name cards, straightening and over-straightening them.
“We’re sleeping together.” The words tumbled past Riley’s lips before she could figure out if she wanted to stop them or not. It made her ill to have that out there, but at the same time, it was a relief.
“You should have told me you guys were dating. That’s...” Kenzie trailed off, smile vanishing. “You’re not dating.”
Riley shook her head. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We had some fun while he was deployed. You know. Talking and stuff. When he got back, we agreed it might be even more fun to fool around in person. We promised we could stay friends. Except now I’m falling for him, and I know I wasn’t supposed to, and what if I spend the rest of my life unable to tell when I care about someone and when I’m just lonely?”
That wasn’t actually the problem. Not by a long shot. But she didn’t know how to explain the reality to her sister, and Zane’s story wasn’t her secret to share.
Kenzie covered Riley’s hand again, her tone soft. “You’re wrong.”
Riley’s insides threatened to fold in half. She couldn’t hide her hurt. “I didn’t mean to.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Kenzie said quickly. “I mean you’re wrong about not being able to tell the difference.”
“You’re sweet, but I’m not.” Riley couldn’t swallow. Her throat was too dry and raw from hidden tears.
“Why would you say that? You were the one who told me you wanted that shared look. That respect. That admiration. You have all that and more with Zane.”
Riley hated herself for clinging to the words. False hope would set her up for more heartache, but she couldn’t ignore it. “You think?”
“Would I say it if I didn’t believe it?”
Good point. Her sister was diplomatic, but she never outright made things up. “I guess not, but it doesn’t matter, if he doesn’t feel the same.”
“Sorry to interrupt, ladies.” Scott appeared behind Kenzie. He rested his hand at the small of her back. “Caterer is on the phone. Will you talk to him?”
Kenzie rolled her eyes. “You can’t handle it?”
The corner of Scott’s mouth pulled up in a smirk. “I’m about thirty seconds from telling him exactly what I think of his phony French accent and completely inauthentic food.”
“Fine.” Kenzie’s grin defied the irritation in her voice. She looked at Riley. “I’ll be right back, and we’ll figure it out.” She kissed Scott, lingering for a few seconds before pulling away.
Damn it, Riley did want that. And she wanted it with Zane. She didn’t hold his past against him; she only wanted to help him through it. To see him whole again. She dropped her chin into her palm, gaze locked on the countertop. This was such a mess.
The leather on the stool next to her creaked when Scott sat down. “So, this boyfriend of yours...”
Swell. Nine times out of ten, she adored Scott. Right then, she was so very not in the mood for his brand of... him. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Sorry.” He sounded anything but. “This guy you know. Zane, right?”
She glared at the countertop. “What about him?”
Scott grabbed a stack of name cards from the middle of the group, flipping through them, but not reordering them. “Kenzie says he was electronic surveillance in the Air Force for six years.”
God, this was so far from a conversation she wanted to have. “So?”
“Is he any good?”
Riley finally turned her attention to Scott, looking for any hint of what was going on. Scott’s expression was the same as always. Smiling, a little arrogant, unassuming.
“He’s the best,” she said. It didn’t matter what Zane thought of himself, his skills were top notch. “He’d probably hate me for telling you this”—if he doesn’t already—“but so many people already know, it’s not like it’s a big secret. Before he enlisted, he got really good at finding holes in company websites. He never did anything like on the scale of a chaos hacker, but he did manage to snag a couple of games before they were released. He’s only gotten better since.”
Scott’s expression flickered for a moment between surprised, pleased, and irritated before returning to normal. “Where’s he working now?”
She paused, not comfortable spilling that kind of information, and still having no idea why Scott cared. “He’s between contracts. Looking for a company that will challenge him and know how to utilize his skills. Things like that.”
“So he’s unemployed.”
Riley sighed. “Is this going somewhere?”
“You know one of the things I love about Kenzie?”
Riley was caught off guard by the rapid change in subject. Listening to her sister’s love-struck fiancé sing Kenzie’s praises wouldn’t help her mood. “She’s got a nice ass?”
“She’s not you.”
The three words hit Riley hard.
“I’m not done,” Scott said.
She nodded, not able to ignore the sting in her eyes.
“It’s what I adore about you too, baby sister. She’s a brilliant, organized mind, and you’re intelligent and creative, and anyone who thinks she should be more like you or you should be more like her is missing something significant.”
Her hurt vanished. She opened her mouth to thank him for the compliment, but he talked over her. “That includes you.”
“Hey. I’m back,” Kenzie said.
Scott was on his feet again in an instant. He wrapped an arm around Kenzie’s waist, dipped her, and swallowed her laugh with a deep kiss.
“What do you mean?” Riley asked, once her sister was upright again, trying to squelch the pang that wished she could have the easy fun and obvious affection they did.
Scott kissed her on the cheek. “Ask Zane. He knows.” With that, he was gone, vanished back into the living room or wherever he was hiding.
“What was that about?” Kenzie dropped back into her seat.
Riley shook her head. Scott was bizarrely cryptic sometimes, she suspected because he didn’t think the same way as most people, not as an attempt to be obtuse. Even if she couldn’t translate the conversation, it cemented for her the need to approach Zane at least one more time.
“Anyway...” Kenzie frowned when she saw a stack of name cards out of line, and squared them all up again before setting them back in their proper spot. “Whatever you decide about Zane, keep in mind that the rift is already there. It’s obvious. Repair it or lose him.”
Riley let the words roll around in her head. It sounded so simple. Repair it or lose him. If only it were that easy.