Chapter 32

 

Frederick had just spent one of the most enjoyable afternoons and evenings in his remembrance. If ever there was a couple who exemplified God’s grace, love, and generosity, it was Mr. and Mrs. Radcliff. They had not only shared their meager meal, opened their home to complete strangers, but they had allowed those strangers to rifle through their belongings. In addition, in their dotage, they cared for and loved orphaned children tirelessly day after day, sacrificing all their money, time, strength, and even sleep to ensure these wee ones grew up loved and knowing God.

In truth, after hanging out with pirates, they had restored Frederick’s faith in mankind, for he’d truly begun to doubt whether there were any decent people left in the Caribbean.

God was in this place. Frederick could feel Him—the joy, peace, and love that only came when in the presence of the Almighty. Not to mention the angels. He'd seen at least three since he’d entered the church…hovering over the children, ministering to each one, blessing them, holding them in their arms when the Radcliffs were otherwise occupied. At first, Frederick thought they were merely helpers the Radcliffs had hired, but when he asked Mr. Radcliff how he could afford such assistance, the man had stared at Frederick oddly and insisted it was just him and his wife. After that, the angels drifted in and out of Frederick’s vision, and each time, he thanked God for allowing him to see such things. These privileged peeks into the spirit realm bolstered his faith, kept him strong, kept him wanting to do the will of God more than anything else.

But exactly what His will was, Frederick wasn’t sure.

He glanced over at Reena as she sat at a table, the new map spread out before her and Abraham at her side. She had asked Frederick to help her inspect it, but in truth, he had no interest. He'd much rather tuck the children into bed, help them say their prayers, and give them a kiss.

He smiled down at young Edwin as he moved the blanket up to his chin—a four-year-old boy with a freckled nose, blue eyes, and red hair. He’d been abandoned at only a month old on the front steps of the church. With one foot twisted and lame, Frederick assumed his parents decided it would be easier to give him up than try to raise him themselves.

He stroked the boy’s cheek and kissed his forehead. The lad closed his eyes, and soon his breathing deepened. Placing his hands on the boy’s foot, Frederick prayed for healing, hoping God would hear him and answer.

Hope isn’t faith.

The words welled up inside him. Indeed. Frederick must have faith that God heard and answered. It said in God’s Word that Jesus bore our infirmities on the cross. Hence, the price had already been paid for God’s children to be well.

“Very well, Father. I believe You have healed this lad, and I thank You in advance.”

Rising, Frederick scanned the room and found all the boys in bed and most already asleep.

Mrs. Radcliff descended the stairs where she’d tucked in the girls and approached him. Firelight glistened in her kind brown eyes and set her skin aglow. She blew out a sigh and pressed a hand on her back. “Thank you for your help, Mr. Carlton.”

“’Twas my pleasure.”

The lady smiled, and Frederick couldn’t help but think how lovely she was, even in her advanced age.

“Then, I bid you good night, Sir. I hear my bed calling t’ me.” She chuckled then gestured toward her husband. “Mr. Radcliff will show you where you are to sleep. An’ I’ve already instructed Miss Hyde t’ join me upstairs wit’ the girls when she’s finished wit’ her…well, wit’ whatever has caught her attention.”

Frederick glanced at Reena, but she was still absorbed in her map. “You and your husband have been more than generous. May the Lord bless you for it.”

“Ah, ’tis nothin’. An’ the Lord already blesses us, Mr. Carlton.” She started off. “More than we deserve.”

Frederick moved to the hearth, grabbed a log, and tossed it into the flames. Then pulling up a wooden chair, he sat down. Though his eyes weighed heavy and his body ached, his arms suddenly felt empty and cold without the warm embraces of the children. It surprised him how much he enjoyed caring for them and making them feel safe. He wondered if God felt that way about him…about all of His children. But of course He did. God was a Father who, out of His love, made the ultimate sacrifice so that those who received Him could live with Him forever.

Even when they continued to make mistakes. Or perhaps, because they did.

He smiled and stared into the flames. His biggest mistake, of course, was sitting at a table on the other side of the room making one of her biggest mistakes. Trouble was, Frederick was well aware of his failings, whereas Reena seemed oblivious to hers.

Caught up in his thoughts, Frederick didn’t hear Mr. Radcliff approach until he sat down beside him with a groan.

“’Tis always good when the children retire so I can rest my weary bones.” He smiled.

“You and your wife do wonderful work here, Mr. Radcliff. God must be very pleased.”

The old man leaned back in the chair. “To honor Him is our utmost goal. ’Sides, Mrs. Radcliff and I love these children as if they were our own.” He drew a deep breath. “They sure took to you right away. You’re a natural father.”

Though the comment sent a wave of delight through Frederick, he snorted. Him a father? A man worth looking up to? Respecting? Hardly.

“Perhaps you and your betrothed will have wee ones of your own someday.”

Frederick chuckled. “Nay. We aren’t betrothed. I’m merely assisting her in locating something she values.”

“Could have fooled me. I saw she wears a ring. And the way you look at each other… well it reminds me of how Mrs. Radcliff and I looked at each other before we were married.”

Frederick raised a brow. “You mean the way you still look at each other. I’ve never seen two people more in love.”

“Going on thirty years now.” Mr. Radcliff gazed into the fire as if remembering each one of those precious years. He chuckled. “I must apologize for our impropriety. We aren’t used t’ company.” He glanced toward the stairs where his wife had disappeared. “She is the love of my life. An’ more beautiful than the day I met her—inside and out.”

Frederick leaned forward on his knees, sudden sorrow clipping at the joy of the day. He could only dream of having such enduring love. “You’re a rarity, Mr. Radcliff. And an inspiration.”

“Hmm.” Mr. Radcliff stretched out his legs. “’Tis my guess that if you marry that lady...” He gestured toward Reena with his head. “That thirty years from now, you’ll be as happy as Mrs. Radcliff and I.”

An army of strange feelings battled within Freddy at the thought of marrying Reena—excitement, happiness, love, but also heartache, pain, and frustration.

Grabbing the poker, he stood and absently jabbed the wood on the fire. “In truth, I am trying to distance myself from her. She brings out the worst in me. Always has. And I want to follow God, stay on the straight path, preach the Gospel to those in need. Miss Hyde follows a different path.” Even as he spoke the words, Frederick had no idea why he was sharing such intimacies with a stranger. But the man listened intently, his brow furrowed as if he truly cared.

Struggling to rise, Mr. Radcliff grabbed a pipe from the mantle, then stooped and lit it from a burning stick in the fire. He slid back on his seat and puffed. “You have great influence over her, and light always overcomes darkness.”

The spicy, sweet scent of tobacco drifted past Frederick’s nose. He snorted. “My light only dims in her presence.” Shaking his head, he sat back down. “In truth, the blood that runs through my veins is anything but noble. My birth was not…honorable.”

Instead of the expected disgust or shock, Mr. Radcliff laughed. “Whose birth is honorable? The Scripture says we are all born into sin, does it not?”

“Born into, mayhap, but not from,” Frederick shot back. Obviously the man didn’t understand. “Most babies are born out of love, within a committed marriage, and are wanted.”

“Most?” Mr. Radcliff puffed on his pipe then pointed it around them. “There are thirty children here who say otherwise. I myself was an orphan.”

Frederick studied the man.

“An’ not left on church steps or given t’ some parson as if my mother cared. Nay, she dumped me in a puddle of sewage in a back alley of town. I was but six months old.”

Sewage? Anger caused Frederick’s blood to pound. “How did you survive?”

“A trollop took pity on me. Cleaned me up, fed me, an’ then brought me t’ the nearest orphanage where I were raised.”

Frederick may have been born out of violence, but at least his mother had wanted him. But to be tossed aside to die alone, what mother did that?

“How did you overcome it?” Frederick dared ask. “The shame, the feeling of not being loved or wanted.”

Mr. Radcliff stared at the flames. “My mother were a trollop with a cold heart. But that has nothin’ t’ do with me. Has nothing t’ do with who I am. God had plans for me that went far beyond the circumstances of my birth.”

“But what if your birth was born out of violence? What if you have wickedness running through your heart?”

He chuckled. “Son, we all have wickedness running through our hearts. Don't matter who your parents were. Only Jesus lived a perfect life. An’ that’s why He offered Hisself up t’ pay the penalty for our sins.” He drew a puff from his pipe, then pointed it at him. “You are valuable to God. You are no accident. From before you were born, before you were in your mother's womb, He knew you. Whether she wanted you or whether your father is the worst murderer ever to live, has nothin’ t’ do wit’ you.”

Frederick hung his head. “But I feel my father in my blood… in my bones. I can’t seem to rid myself of my desire to do evil.”

“Are you a believer? Have you trusted in Jesus to cover your sins?”

“Aye, of course.” Frederick glanced at the man.

“Then you are a new man! That’s what the Word says, don’t it?” Mr. Radcliff smiled, excitement twinkling in his eyes. “The old is passed away. You are no longer of your earthly father, but of your heavenly one.”

The man's words twisted through Frederick like threads of light weaving around the darkness, spinning a brilliant web that caught and devoured all his doubts and fears. Something else sprouted in their place—hope. Hope that, no matter who his father was or where he’d come from, he could be a better man, a new man. He wasn’t his father. He didn’t have to succumb to temptation, he didn’t have to fail. Through the power of God, he could overcome evil and nothing would be impossible.