Chapter 36

 

Reena woke, feeling as though she’d fought a battle all night. And lost. She could not shake the look in Freddy’s eyes as he’d marched from her cabin—the one that said he’d finally had enough. She’d seen it once before, and what happened afterward had caused her more pain than she cared to admit. She’d wanted to run after him, to beg his forgiveness, to offer some compromise that would appease him. But she knew nothing short of giving up everything would bring him back to her.

Hence, she’d plied herself with rum and cried herself to sleep.

Now, as she stood staring at her image in the looking glass, with her head pounding and her heart breaking, she touched her lips, remembering the intimacy of Freddy’s kiss. Tears filled her eyes at the thought it might have been his last one. She rubbed them away. Pirate captains did not cry.

She could do nothing about the shadows beneath her eyes, nor the reek of alcohol that seemed to permeate her skin. Not even the cup of hot chocolate Michael brought seemed to help settle her stomach. Or mayhap ’twas the lad’s incriminating look—most unusual for him—that kept her agitated.

Regardless, after she made herself look as presentable as possible, she emerged onto the quarterdeck, squinting in the bright sun, and searched the deck for Freddy. She intended to apologize and somehow reach a compromise. Anything to keep him with her.

“Prepare the jolly boat, Abraham,” she said to him in passing. “We will pay another visit to the Radcliffs this morning.”

She found Freddy standing at the bow of the ship, fully armed and looking as if he had made up his mind about something. As she crept toward him, she noted there was something different about him—an odd peace and joy that hovered around him. Instead of his usual stern look, he was smiling as he stared off into the Caribbean… as if some weight had been lifted. And she suddenly feared that weight might be her.

She eased up beside him, shielding her eyes from the sun. “I must apologize for last night, Freddy. I know I upset you.”

He shot a glance toward her then shook his head. “You were honest, Reena. You’ve always been honest with me. How can I fault you for that?”

She smiled, feeling hope rise. “You have my word that after I find the Fountain, we will sail to Jamaica and warn our families about the attack. Or did you already?” It suddenly occurred to her that he’d seen his father.

Freddy chuckled. “Can you believe I forgot?”

She laughed as a gust of wind swept over them. “Then we will warn them. And also”—she hesitated, unsure of what words to use to convince him—“I will consider committing myself to God again.”

She thought he’d be thrilled. She thought he’d lift her off her feet, embrace her, shout for joy! Wasn’t that what he wanted?

Instead, his lips drew into a somber line. “Reena, following God is not something you decide in your mind. ’Tis your heart He wants. Your heart must be willing—completely willing. And I fear yours is not.”

Reena gripped the railing and glanced at the golden shores. She wanted to argue with him, but he was right.

He turned to face her and the look in his eyes nearly crumbled her on the spot. She'd seen that look before. Taking her hand in his, he fingered the ring he’d given her so long ago. “I'm getting off the Reckless and joining my father. The Restitution and the Redemption are anchored in Carlisle bay.”

Reena did her best to hide the jarring split of her heart.

“Continue with your quest, Reena, but I want no part of it.”

She grew desperate. “I’ll come to Jamaica afterward. We can start over again there.”

“Nay. You may certainly come there. In fact, I hope you do, but as far as anything else between us, that is not possible.”

Tears filled her eyes and she turned her face away. “But your kiss last night. I thought…”

“Forgive me for that, Kitten.”

“Nay!” She shoved down her fears. She had cried hysterically the first time he left, and—bilge water—she would not give him the satisfaction again. “You love me. You told me so last night.”

“I do, but that doesn’t mean I can be with you. I cannot be unequally yoked. Our lives are taking two very different paths.”

Fear, sorrow, and agony spiraled through her, butchering her insides as sharply as any knife.

He tugged his hand from hers, but she held fast. She couldn’t bear it. Not again. She would shrivel up and die. “Please, Freddy. Don’t do this.”

He finally retrieved his hand, and hers grew as cold as the bottom of the sea.

His jaw hardened to a grim line. “Goodbye, Kitten.”

She planted her feet to keep from staggering. She wanted to tell him she’d give up her dream of eternal youth, she’d end her quest if only he’d stay. But she knew even that wouldn’t be enough. He would never be her Freddy again. His God had seen to that.

“Sail ho!”

Gathering her wits and shoving down her emotions, Reena plucked her glass from her belt and held it to her eye. A three-masted frigate curved around the cape of the cove in which they hid, lowering its sails. She quickly shifted her focus to the hull where the word Conquérant appeared in bold letters.

“Antoine,” Freddy announced before she had a chance.

Reena lowered her scope and excused herself. There was no time to mourn, no time to cry, no time to convince Freddy not to leave. She was a pirate captain, and an enemy ship headed toward them.

Or was it an enemy? By the time she uttered the command to hoist all sail and beat to quarters, Antoine had raised the white flag of truce and signaled that he wished a parlay.

Reena didn’t trust him. She had never trusted him. But he had part of the map she needed, and she had a part he needed. Perhaps they could exchange the information in a civilized fashion—as civilized as pirates could be.

Hence, she belayed the order to set sail, commanded her crew to take up arms, and gave the signal for him to board. Soon the Conquérant dropped anchor and lowered a boat. All the while, her gaze kept shifting to Freddy, standing at the railing on the main deck. Did he really intend to leave her?

Reena scanned the deck. Jo surveyed her gun crew, ensuring they were ready to fire if necessary. Brodie took up a spot beside Freddy, alternating between taking sips from his flask and glancing at Jo, while Michael stood on his other side. The blasted man seemed to have stolen her friends as well as her heart.

“Looks like yuh will get yer map, Cap’n,” Abraham said from beside her. “But, I would not trust dat man agin.”

“I have no intention of trusting him. Using him for his map, perhaps.” She winked at Abraham and gripped the hilt of her cutlass.

“Humph. An’ Cap’n Carlton? Him leavin’?”

The words twisted a knife in her gut.

“Apparently.” She swallowed down a burning lump. “He is free to go where he wants.” Though the idea of locking him below had its appeal.

“Bes’ ding e’er happened to ye, Cap’n.”

Reena crossed arms over her chest. “Alas, he does not return the sentiment.” Anger simmered, and she fanned the flames. Better to be angry than melt in a puddle of tears. “I’ll hear no more about the illusive Captain Carlton, is that clear?”

One dark brow rose above Abraham’s piercing eyes, but he remained silent.

That illusive captain leapt up the quarterdeck ladder and approached her. Her heart dared to skip a beat. Had he come to apologize, declare his love, inform her he was staying, especially now that Antoine was back?

“With your permission, Captain, since you have a boat ready, can your men row me ashore?”

Reena’s heart shriveled. She inhaled a deep breath in the desperate hope of reviving it, but to no avail. Instead, she clung to her anger and faced him.

“If that is what you wish.” She waved a hand of dismissal. “Begone with you. And Godspeed.”

For the briefest of moments, pain appeared on Freddy’s face, but then he stiffened his jaw, dipped his head toward her, and said. “Good day, Captain.”

Then, spinning on his heels, he marched away, taking with him every ounce of her shattered heart.

 

♥♥♥

 

With every slap of the oars in the turquoise waters, with every swish of the sea, Frederick’s insides churned into a caustic brew. More than anything, he longed to order the sailors to turn about and return him to the Reckless—back to Reena’s side. But he couldn’t. He could do nothing more for her. She was in God’s hands now.

And apparently Antoine’s as well. Frederick dared a glance over his shoulder and saw Antoine’s boat thud against the hull of the Reckless, watched as he and his men climbed the rope ladder and leapt aboard. Thankfully, Reena had assembled a greeting party of cutlass and pistols, but apparently from the sickly sweet French blathering on the wind, the weapons hadn’t been necessary.

As long as Antoine needed something from Reena, he’d play nice. Frederick had thought to stick around and protect her from that blackguard, but Reena could take care of herself. For the most part.

Antoine’s blue plume fluttered in the breeze as he bent over Reena’s hand and placed a kiss upon it. Abraham waved at Frederick from the quarterdeck, while Brodie and Jo gazed after him from the railing. He’d had a chance to bid each of them farewell, but he didn’t realize until now how much he’d miss them.

A bright light glimmered, drawing Frederick’s gaze to the stern of the brig where he expected to see a knife or sword, something which caught the sun’s reflection. Instead, Michael smiled and waved at him, and Frederick waved back.

The lad had come to him just before he’d climbed down into the boat.

“I’ll watch over her, Captain Carlton. Never fear.” He had said the words with such authority and assurance that it shocked Frederick. But then again, the boy was full of surprises. Frederick would miss him most of all.

Turning, he faced the shore. Sunlight shimmered over white sand that led to a web of green beyond. He’d have to hide until nightfall and then make his way to the docks and out to the Restitution. He smiled at the impending reunion with his family and hoped some of his siblings were on board. And his mother, of course. But she rarely left his father’s side.

The order for oars to raise was given, and the boat struck land. Thanking the men, Frederick leapt out and waded onto the sand. At the edge of the jungle, he turned one last time to look at the Reckless. Even at this distance, he saw Reena glance his way, could feel the bond stretching between them, tugging at both their hearts, forever taunting them with a love that could never be. Then tearing his gaze away, he shoved aside a branch and plunged into the greenery.