I drove to campus in a mental fog. Somehow I got there in one piece, parked, and talked to my professor, but I didn’t remember any of it.
I was sitting in the empty classroom staring at my test booklet—reading the first question for the millionth time—when I finally snapped out of the shock of what had happened.
I’d agreed to dinner.
With my hot neighbor.
At his apartment.
Tonight.
Had I lost my mind? Why did I agree to that?
And I knew why. Because Dastien was hot and I really wanted him, even if it was so stupid. There was no chance he’d be interested in someone like me.
I glanced up at the clock. It’d been over thirty minutes since I left my apartment. That was thirty minutes I’d lost completely. That was bad, even for me. It wasn’t bad enough to check in with my doctor, but it was something I needed to be aware of in case it turned into a trend.
I pulled my water bottle out of my backpack and took a long drink. It’d probably work better if I dumped it over my head, but I felt someone watching me.
My professor was staring. He was a kind-of-handsome guy in his mid-forties. He always wore jeans and a button-down, but also a tie. Always oversized and with some bright print on it. It was like—really? Why not just go casual and skip the ugly tie?
“Are you sure you’re okay enough to take the test?”
I took another sip of water, hoping that would calm me. “I think I’m okay. I was studying when I collapsed, and I just want to get this test done.”
He pressed his lips together as he watched me. “If you don’t do at least as well as your average test score, I’m going to give you a redo.”
That was incredibly understanding, and much more generous than I’d expected from him. He had the reputation of being a total hard-ass.
I let out a shaky breath, and I wished it was nerves because of the test. “Thanks. I appreciate that, but I think I’ll do okay.” At least I hoped that was the truth.
“All right. You’ve got forty-five more minutes. Get started.”
I looked down at the paper in front of me, and this time I focused on the words.
One question at a time, I made my way through. I had to keep bringing my focus back to the test because my mind kept wondering about stupid things—like if Dastien meant that tonight was a date.
Which was stupid. Of course, it wasn’t a date. I wanted it to be a date, but Dastien probably felt sorry for me because my stomach growled so loud.
What had I been thinking agreeing to go to dinner at his place? What would we talk about? What would I say? Would he be able to tell that I already had a crush on him?
Oh my God. It was going to be so fucking awkward.
In that moment, it felt like he really wanted me to come over, but now I was second-guessing everything. Dastien was just so beautiful. He was way out of my league, and I was sure we had nothing in common. I mean, what did people that pretty do for fun?
Oh my God. I was ridiculous. Just because Dastien was pretty didn’t mean he was a separate species. The guy probably watched movies and worked out—because that was obvious—and streamed crappy TV, just like every other normal person.
And I wasn’t that bad-looking. I hated that I put myself down, but I couldn’t help it. Looks shouldn’t matter, but they did. They always mattered. And he was so far beyond me it wasn’t even funny.
My professor cleared his throat, and I could feel my cheeks getting hot. If he could tell that I wasn’t focusing on the page, then I was probably going to need that make-up test. But I didn’t want to retake this. So, I was going to get it together.
Dinner with Dastien was so not important. This exam was important.
I flipped through my test to see how many more questions I had to go. I needed to pass this class so that I could graduate on time next year. Once I was done with school, I could get a job. And then I wouldn’t have to rely on Mother’s support anymore. I would be free.
Only eleven more questions to go.
After that, I could go home and obsess about Dastien. But not before.
The rest of the time blurred, and suddenly, I was done. There were ten minutes left, so I went back through to double-check my answers. Everything looked good, but I wasn’t sure about a few of them.
My professor’s timer went off. I wanted more time, but that was it. If I failed, then at least he would give me a second chance.
I pushed back from my desk and walked to the front of the room.
Dr. Richmond looked up from the papers he was grading on his desk. “How’d you do?”
I handed him the test. “I think I did okay.” Unless I was so out of it that I didn’t register bombing it.
“I’ll take a quick look while you get your stuff. If you didn’t pass, then we’ll discuss what to do next. Okay?”
“Thanks.” It’d be good to know how I did right away. If I needed the redo, I might have to cancel on Dastien so that I could study.
That would also be a half-decent excuse to avoid a possibly awkward situation. I would cancel it if I could, but then I’d be a chicken. I’d been wanting more friends than just Georgine, and now one had fallen into my lap. I wasn’t going to let it go just because it scared me how much I wanted him.
I grabbed my backpack and slid my water bottle into the holder.
“Well,” Dr. Richmond said from the front of the room. “Looks like you aced it.”
I felt myself smile as his words registered. “Really?” I hadn’t been expecting that.
“Really, and from the way you kept staring off into space, I thought you’d fail it for sure. You’ve impressed me.”
I impressed him? “Seriously?” That was pretty awesome.
“Yeah.” He put my test down. “Go get some rest. I’ll see you in class in a couple days.”
“Thanks. And thank you for coming in today to let me get the test over with. I didn’t want it hanging over my head this weekend.”
“It’s no problem. I was already here grading the rest of the class’s tests.” He waved his hand over the pile.
“See you next week.” I gave him a wave and headed out.
When I got to the hallway, two guys were studying just across from the door. The same two guys that followed me into the building.
Weird.
I normally don’t notice people very much—or I didn’t think I did—but these guys were massive. They didn’t scare me exactly, but I wouldn’t want them following me into a darkened alley.
One of them looked up at me, and I gave them a nod before walking down the hall.
When I glanced back at them, they were quickly putting their books away.
They couldn’t be following me, could they?
I started moving faster for a second before rolling my eyes at my own craziness. There was no way those guys were following me. I’d never seen them before. Yes, they’d gotten there at the same time as me and were leaving at the same time as I was. But it was just a coincidence. Those happened all the time.
That was one of the things that my doctor and therapist worked on with me. I liked to read too much into things, and part of that was because of my brain injury.
I also developed a massive fear of the supernatural after my accident. My therapist thought that I didn’t like the unexplainable now because I couldn’t remember so much in my life. Which—in a way—made sense.
But just because those guys were tall, handsome, and built didn’t mean that they were supernatural. I was sure they didn’t get furry during the full moon. If I used those qualifications, then Dastien was a werewolf, too.
And if he was, I’d have to move.
But he wasn’t. He was just an abnormally handsome human.
I reached my car and looked behind me. The guys weren’t there. I’d been walking fast for no reason.
Paranoia was another side effect of my injury. I was suspicious of the weirdest things, but I was working around them.
As I drove home, I realized I needed to calm down. All this obsessing about being around Dastien was making my paranoia and fears worse. Somehow he triggered something in me, and that was okay. Maybe being with him would push me out of the plateau I’d been on for the last few months. I’d been in a serious funk. All I did was study—usually with Georgine—go to classes, and argue with my mother about whether I needed more trips to the doctor. She thought so, but I knew I was fine. Or as fine as I could get.
But as I pulled into my parking space at the apartment, I decided that this dinner with my neighbor was going to be fun. At least, I hoped it would.
I got out of the car, beeped the lock, and told myself I was overthinking things again. I was making entirely too much out of my neighbor being friendly, and all this time obsessing over it was a total waste. Once he saw me eat, he wasn’t going to want to hang out with me ever again.
Oh man. That would suck. I didn’t even know Dastien yet, but the idea that he’d ditch me was painful.
Okay. I was just going to have to not eat. Or I’d just pick at stuff. It was already past six, which meant I didn’t have time to eat before I went over there, but I could eat when I got home.
But I was so hungry.
I was so hungry that sometimes I wasn’t sure I could get out of bed, and I wasn’t sure that it mattered. I wasn’t sure I mattered.
And yet, I got up. I went to class. I kept doing all the things I was supposed to do when none of it made me feel anything at all.
I guessed that was why I’d said yes to Dastien. He was the first thing that made me feel since I woke up in the hospital a little over a year and nine months ago.
I usually felt like a stranger to myself, and I was so damned tired of being alone and confused. But in just a couple of conversations, Dastien made me feel like I wasn’t so alone. Something about the way he looked at me when he smiled made me feel like he cared. Like he really, truly saw me. That was a big deal.
A really big deal.
I pressed the button for the elevator and listened to it creak and moan its way down to me.
I needed to go home and change—not just my clothes but my attitude. I’d shove all my insecurities away and be thankful for whatever time Dastien wanted to spend with me. Because if there was one thing that my accident taught me, it was that you’re never guaranteed a tomorrow. Every day had to count. So, I tried to find joy in every day that I had.
Some days the best I could come up with were some Cheetos, an ice-cold Diet Coke, and watching The Princess Bride.
Today, I had a little more to be thankful for. A hot neighbor who wanted to be friends.
I’d make today count.
I got into the parking garage elevator and leaned against the back wall. A car pulled down the ramp, and I leaped toward the buttons, pushing the door closed again, again, again.
It was those same two guys from campus.
The doors slid closed, and I could breathe again. I leaned back again and closed my eyes.
This was just a coincidence. Just a coincidence. Life was full of them. It didn’t mean anything.
It didn’t mean anything.
I thought the words in my head, but there was some part of me that knew it had to mean something.
Those guys were following me.
But why?
Why would anyone care about a nobody like me?