Kieran followed Robyn up to the edge of the park. Arguello became a hilly street crossing into a canopy of trees.
Robyn stopped to gaze in the window of a corner grocery store painted bright red.
He was tempted to cross over, approach her, start a conversation. That would make it easier to get close, when the time came. He braced himself, keeping his eyes down.
She went into the store. Damn it! He crossed over to Fulton, the street that ran alongside the park, and waited at a bus stop. Head down.
He’d speak to her when she came out of the store.
A few moments later, she emerged from the store, something in her hand.
A small pink envelope. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her rip it open, pour some of the contents into her mouth. He watched her swallow, the fine gulp of her slender neck. She was wearing a gold chain. It hung over a dip of vanilla-colored skin above her sweater under her denim jacket. He could see the indentation of one of her small breasts for a moment as she tipped the envelope up to her mouth.
He caught himself. Here she came, crossing the street.
Hi, how are you? That’s what he’d say. Get her to trust him.
She brought the envelope down, approached the light, waited for it to change, then crossed over, coming straight toward him. Straight toward him, making his heart thump.
He said nothing.
She walked by, humming, the movement of her backside pulling his gaze as she headed up Arguello where the street twisted into the park. His body prickled. He hadn’t said a word. She disappeared from view. In his jacket pocket, he stroked the bottle of chloroform wrapped in the hanky.
She’d stop at the playground to watch the merry-go-round. He’d talk to her there. It would seem more natural anyway. He couldn’t let her get away like she did the other day.
The candy she’d been eating gave him an idea. He swooped back across the street, ducked into the corner store where he bought two packs of Pop Rocks. Back out, he darted across the street against the blare of a car horn. He sprinted into Golden Gate Park, pushing up Arguello into the hilly part overgrown with trees. He felt invigorated. Soon his task would be done. At the top of the hill he saw her checked pants as she disappeared down the other side into the park proper. Back on track.
He shadowed her past the Conservatory of Flowers. Its ornate white framing and glass panes threw the park back to another century. Crossing JFK, he trailed Robyn to Koret Playground. Children were climbing ropes, swinging on big boats suspended like giant swings, one boat alive with kids singing, Working at the car wash, car wash, over and over. Robyn stood, watching them. Although he couldn’t see her face directly, he knew she was smiling. She liked simple things like that.
She strolled over to the carousel, where organ music pumped out of the round structure with its elegant columns, housing the early 1900s merry-go-round. She stopped, holding her folder in front of her, taking in the graceful whirl of the ride. All sorts of exotic animals were represented, real and otherwise—ostriches, unicorns, tigers, dragons—painted in a myriad of bright shiny colors. Kieran kept back by a tree, watching furtively.
When the merry-go-round slowed, Robyn walked to a bench, sat down. She placed her folder and backpack next to her, crossed a leg, which made her look very grown up. She reminded him again of that girl from so many years ago, the one whose name he couldn’t always remember. Margaret. But Robyn would be different. Smaller, more controllable. She would be quick.
The merry-go-round came to a halt. People filed out of the round pavilion and those who had been waiting boarded, and soon the music was flowing again as the carousel spun.
Robyn bobbed one foot to the music, and it caught his eye like a magnet pulling an iron filing. He studied the fine movement of her leg, so natural, and he wondered how she looked without so many clothes. How she smelled.
He gulped back his excitement. He was getting off track. This was the time. He would introduce himself, and she would trust him.
Chest tight, he walked over to the bench on stiff legs.
“Hey, Robyn,” he said. “I didn’t know you came here.”
She turned from her seat, looked up at him, her lips parted in surprise. There was a trace of candy in the corner of her mouth. She blinked, her light blue eyes disappearing in between sensuous flutters. She squinted, rearing back slightly.
“Who are you?”
It was the first time she had ever spoken to him. She had a sweet voice but it was high. He had always imagined her sounding older. It was a bit of a disappointment. The chain around her neck held a small gold crucifix. It set off the whiteness of her skin. She wore a blouse under her V-neck sweater. Her skin was pink and flawless. Soft looking.
He caught himself. That wasn’t the point of this. The point was to teach his father a lesson.
“You don’t remember me?” Kieran said, laughing, trying to sound natural. “I’m Gary—a friend of your mom’s.”
Her eyes blinked in confusion. “I don’t remember.”
“I work at City Hall.”
“You do?” Robyn smiled a cautious smile of small white teeth. So innocent.
“She talks about you all the time,” he said.
“She does?” A bigger smile now. Good.
“You bet! She says you love Charlie’s Angels.”
Robyn tried to suppress a childish grin as she picked up her backpack to show him. “Roxanne says it’s kid’s stuff. But I still like them.”
“Oh, Roxanne—your friend from school, right?”
“Yep.”
That had to be the black girl she was always with. He didn’t approve of that. But that wasn’t important right now. “Well, I think Roxanne’s got it wrong, Robyn. Charlie’s Angels is cool.” He nodded at the merry-go-round, throwing puffs of organ music out into the park as it spun. “Just like that is.”
She gave him a shy smile. “Isn’t it?”
“It was built in 1914. There’s not another one like it in the whole wide world.”
“It’s so neat.”
“It is neat. I like to walk through here on my way home, just to check it out.”
She looked at him for a moment, and then she smiled.
“Me, too!” she said.
He casually pulled an envelope of candy from his back pocket, as if he had just thought of it. He tore the top of the envelope away.
He held the envelope out. “Want some of these, Robyn?”
“You have strawberry Pop Rocks?” she said, surprised.
He looked at her with a smile. “What other kind are there?”
Another big smile. “I know.”
“Put your hands out,” he said.
She cupped her hands and he poured half the pack into her pink palms. She scooped them into her mouth like a much younger kid.
He sat down next to her on the bench, leaving a couple of feet of space between them. He checked around to see if anyone was watching. So far, so good.
They ate candy and listened to the merry-go-round and she wiped her hands off on the edge of the bench. He didn’t think that was very ladylike and almost said something.
The merry-go-round slowed.
She picked up her folder, a manila Pee Chee with the athletes playing tennis, football, running. She had drawn long hair and mustaches on two of the runners in blue ballpoint. She collected her backpack. “I have to go.”
A twitch of anxiety made him sit up straight.
“You have plenty of time, Robyn. Your mom has to finish up some stuff at work.”
“She does?”
“Did I forget to tell you? She’s going to be late. Hey, I know! Why don’t we go for a ride?” He nodded at the merry-go-round. “My treat. What do you say, Robyn?”
She turned to gaze at the merry-go-round, her blond hair falling over the collar of her pale blue denim jacket, shiny, giving him a nostril full of sweet shampoo scent, then she turned back to him, frowning. “I better not.”
But she wanted to, he could tell. She just wasn’t sure. About him. “Stupid me!” He gave an animated frown and hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. “Your mom told you not to do things with strangers! What a maroon.” He’d heard Bugs Bunny say that. Kids liked Bugs Bunny. “I guess I didn’t think of myself as a stranger. But you are absolutely right.” He stood up, forcing himself not to check whether his knit hat was on straight. “Well, it was neat meeting you again, Robyn. I think I’m going to ride the merry-go-round anyway. I’ve always wanted to. And today’s the day. Please tell your mom I said hi. I’ll see her at work tomorrow.”
Her frown faded, leaving an uncertain smile. “Okay … Gary.”
Chest thumping, he turned to walk over to the ticket booth. If she walked away, he’d follow her.
Then, with a gush of relief, he heard her soft footfalls behind him.
“Hey, Gary …”
Yes! He turned slowly, swallowing hard, forcing composure.
“Hey, Robyn. What’s up?”
“Just one ride,” she said. “Then I better get home.”
“Cool.”
“But I get to ride my own animal. No sharing.”
He couldn’t stop from grinning, even as an eyelid flickered. “Of course. Which one do you have in mind?”
“The unicorn,” she said with a shy smile. How could she be the daughter of such an immoral woman?
“Good choice! We better hurry, in case someone else grabs it.”
The man behind the counter gave him the steel eye as he paid for the tickets.
They climbed up on the circular deck and he helped Robyn onto the unicorn, with its white pearl paint and huge glass sequins down its mane. His hand just brushed the hem of her checked bell-bottoms as he stood back.
“Nice pants, Robyn.”
He climbed on the horse next to her and felt in his left pocket. The handkerchief and bottle of chloroform were there. Why did he keep thinking they wouldn’t be? He checked his watch cap again. Tight around his glasses.
“Why do you keep doing that?” she asked.
“Doing what?”
“Grabbing your hat.”
“Do I?” He reddened.
The merry-go-round set in motion and the music churned around their heads, sending his thoughts asunder. He tried to focus on the paintings of old scenes and flashing mirrors overhead but things felt out of control. His winced as the green of Golden Gate Park blurred around him and gripped the pole tightly with both hands. How could anyone possibly enjoy this? Being flung up and down like a damn yoyo? But he looked over and saw Robyn smiling, one hand going to her chest above her cross in a dainty oh-my gesture as she cocked her head just so. Soon he would be finished with her. She wouldn’t be putting on any airs then.
* * *
Colleen lost Kieran past the Conservatory of Flowers, when he took a path that forked off JFK Drive into the other side of the park. What bothered her was that he appeared to be following a teenage girl in wild check bell-bottom pants and a denim jacket. Something wasn’t right. What a time to lose him.
She pulled over and parked the Pinto facing against traffic alongside the Hall of Flowers. She got out, went to the trunk, opened it, looked around, pulled the .38 from her bag, slipped it into the pocket of her beat-up leather jacket. She slammed the trunk, dashed across the street, set off down the path Kieran had taken.
It crossed a street and split into two.
Her forehead was growing moist.
She took the path to the right. When she got to the tennis courts, Colleen couldn’t see a sign of Kieran or the girl. Uneasiness crept over her. She asked a couple of middle-aged jocks playing tennis if they had seen anyone like Kieran. They hadn’t.
Then she heard, a few hundred feet away through the trees, the musical whistle of an organ, like a fairground.
“What’s over that way?” she asked one of the men, who was just winding up to serve. He stopped, eyed her with annoyance.
“The merry-go-round,” he said tightly.
Maybe they went that way. She took the path in the direction of the music, breaking into a run.
* * *
“Let’s go for another spin, Robyn!” Kieran said, forcing joviality but trying to stay casual. The few minutes on the ride had unsettled his wits and made his head spin.
“I need to get home,” Robyn said, not looking at him, collecting her folder and backpack from the stone ticket booth where she had left them with the man.
That was fine with Kieran. He didn’t need another ride on that damn thing. But he couldn’t let Robyn get away. He’d broken through. He had to get her into the trees.
“Thanks for the ride, Gary.” She gave a tense smile and turned away quickly.
“Wait, Robyn! I’ll walk you home.”
“No, it’s okay.”
“I insist. It’s not safe.”
“Okay.” But she headed off ahead of him, walking quickly in the direction of Kezar Stadium.
His anxiety returned; he was about to lose her. All that work.
He set off after her.
Robyn was looking straight ahead when he caught up. She wasn’t smiling.
Damn it, he thought, scurrying along, accidentally adjusting his watch cap. He pulled the last envelope of Pop Rocks from his back pocket, held it up. That caught her eye.
“Who’s your buddy?” he said.
“No thanks.”
He handed it to her as they walked. “Come on.”
“Okay.” She took the envelope.
“Here, I’ll carry those while you eat your Pop Rocks.” He nodded at her backpack and folder.
“No, that’s okay,” she said. She stood, ripping open the envelope, her hands full.
They were past Sharon Meadow, near a good clump of leafy trees. Plenty of privacy there. He’d steer her that way.
* * *
At the merry-go-round, Colleen saw no sign of Kieran or the girl. She scanned the playground. Nothing. She hoped she hadn’t gotten things wrong. There was a lawn bowling green across the way. She’d check there. But she stopped at the stone ticket booth by the carousel where she asked the man if he had seen her daughter, describing the girl with the check pants, and her brother, describing Kieran.
“They were supposed to meet me here,” she said, looking at her watch.
“Those two?” he said with what she thought was an air of suspicion. He nodded past the playground. “They just got off the ride. They went that way. He’s her uncle, you say?”
Colleen felt a blast of relief, albeit temporary. “Yes—why do you ask?”
“Just wondered.”
Colleen turned, saw a meadow off past the playground, through some trees, heading toward the Haight.
* * *
“Cut over here, Robyn,” Kieran said as he walked behind her along the trees toward Kezar Drive. She was moving quickly, in no mood to be with him, it seemed. The tension mounted in his temples. His head was starting to hurt. He needed to finish it. Finish it.
“Mom says to go this way,” Robyn said. She hadn’t touched her candy.
“But this way’s quicker, Robyn,” he said. “Your mom won’t mind.”
She pushed ahead. “I don’t know.”
She was so close. Her hair. Her skin. But she was getting away. He turned as he walked, getting his bottle and handkerchief out. It was time. He uncapped the bottle, spilled a generous dose of chloroform onto the material, a sharp whiff of chemicals coming at him, thinking that was actually kind of funny for a moment, Robyn not knowing. She had no idea what was in store. She’d learn to snub him. He capped the bottle, slipped it back in his pocket.
He looked around. No one. Ha.
“Robyn, jeez—will you wait up?”
“I have to get home!”
“There’s no need to shout. I just want to chat as we walk. Slow down, will you?”
“I said ‘I have to get home,’ Gary!”
“What’s the matter. Don’t you like me?”
“Leave me alone!” She picked up speed.
“Don’t you tell me what to do!” A surge of adrenaline fueled his legs and, with his larger size, he was soon upon her from behind, locking her neck with the crook of his left arm, bringing the handkerchief over her mouth with the right. The envelope of Pop Rocks flew to the ground.
She actually smacked his handkerchief arm out of the way for a moment, letting loose with a high-pitched squeal that pierced his ears and annoyed him beyond belief. Shrieking like a child! He thumped her face with the heel of his fist and stifled another scream with the handkerchief back over her mouth. “Just be quiet, Robyn. It’s fine.” She was no match for him. No match at all. She’d learn. It would take a moment for the chloroform to do its work. But this stuff was ghetto, potent, made in some back room.
He dragged Robyn, kicking and moaning, into the bushes, where there was a nice little clearing. Empty bottles, cardboard on the ground, a used condom next to it. She was putting up a fight but quickly losing strength. He yanked her hard. He was getting excited. He was getting physically excited. Yes he was. That was her fault. He found himself laughing.
“Just stop it, Robyn! Honestly!”
She tried to shout but it was wobbly.
“Do you know your mother is fucking my father?” he said through gritted teeth.
* * *
Nearby, Colleen heard a girl scream in a high voice. She bit down hard and ran along the trees toward Kezar.