Chapter Sixteen
Logan was dreaming. He was lying in bed with Melody; it was on one of their fantasy nights. Her skin was so silky and creamy. She smelled different. He struggled to remember which fantasy this was. It completely skipped his mind as her hair trailed down his body and she kissed him expertly along his belly.
"Melody, that feels so good," Logan groaned and pulled her up to him, mashing his mouth on hers in urgency. He ran his hands over her body, she felt smaller, slimmer, her breasts were more generous. "You're perfect," Logan groaned, cupping her breasts possessively. He eased her back against the pillows and captured a throbbing peak within his lips.
"Logan, don't stop," she said breathily. "Please."
This wasn't Melody's voice, Logan thought cloudily. This wasn't Melody; it was just a dream.
"Logan! Oh my God!"
Logan jumped out of his stupor and opened his eyes. Someone turned on the room lights and he closed his eyes from its glare, thinking he was lying on top of Melody, his head buried between her breasts.
"Melody," he groaned, "why are you making such a ruckus?"
It only dawned on him belatedly that Melody could not be at the door while still underneath him.
He opened his eyes fully and rolled away from the person in the bed. His eyes connected with Sabrina's and he recoiled. He glanced at her; her lips were swollen, she was naked and she was making no moves to cover herself.
No. This is not happening. His heart started to race. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. This is not happening…I am still dreaming. It was one of those dreams that seemed real but when you woke up you realized that it wasn't true, but he blinked again and saw that Melody was still at the room door. She was standing as still as a statue, her hands clenched at her side, her face flushed, with a sick look on her face, and Sabrina was amazingly still, lounging in the bed and looking unconcerned—looking self-satisfied. He could see his fingerprints on her breast.
"Get out!" Melody roared.
Logan realized belatedly that this dream was not a dream.
"Oh my god," he groaned and jumped out of bed, which was not a good idea because he was naked. He couldn't even remember getting that way; he pulled the sheet off the top of the bed hurriedly. "Sabrina, what are you doing in here?"
"You know fully well what," Sabrina said, pouting. "We were making love until she interrupted." She leisurely pulled on her clothes, making a show of it as Melody silently stood at the door.
He had no idea what to say in the charged silence. He watched as Sabrina sauntered to the door and sneered at Melody.
"Your husband is really good in bed, Mrs. Moore. He has the perfect sized..."
"Shut up!" Melody was trembling from the impact of not doing some violence to Sabrina. She gritted her teeth. "I want you gone out of this house in the next minute."
"You can't make me," Sabrina hissed, going toe to toe with Melody.
"Sabrina," Logan snapped, "you really need to go. Get out, now!"
"But honey," Sabrina turned to Logan, "you can't let her influence you to force me out of the house. Remember what you said at lunch today? That you love me and not her. Remember how you told me that you have lost all respect for her because of her teenage pregnancy, not to mention all the drugs and drink she used to take back in St. Ann? Remember how you said you can’t live with that kind of past, a girl getting pregnant at fourteen?"
"What the..." Logan looked at Melody, confused.
Melody's face crumpled and she headed to the bathroom.
"Don't cry, mother dearest," Sabrina called out. "It is not the end of the world. You will find someone else to fool with your innocent act."
Mother dearest? Logan slumped on the bed with his head in his hand. Melody is Sabrina's mother? He paused to wrap his head around that fact. It wasn't working. His thoughts couldn't process that now.
"Sabrina," he said softly, "you are fired. Don't come in tomorrow. HR will contact you about all the legalities. We'll mail your stuff to you."
"But why? What did I do?" Sabrina asked innocently.
"I can't work with you again," Logan said, looking at her. "What happened this evening went above and beyond reasoning."
Sabrina hung her head. "But Logan, I..."
"No, save it," Logan growled. "What gives you the right...No, I am not going to get angry."
He got up and headed to the chest of drawers, pulling on a shirt and then boxers and then pants. He was doing all of this awkwardly while Sabina still lingered at the door.
"You like me," Sabrina said, anguished. "You are attracted to me. You just told me that I am perfect."
"Why are you still here, arguing?" Logan asked, baffled at her boldness. "Get going."
"Dad," Lauren was standing behind Sabrina, her eyes looking wide and frightened.
"What time is it?" Logan glanced at the clock; it was after nine. He had slept for nearly three hours.
"Way past your bed time, Laurie," he said, gentling his voice. "Come on, let me tuck you in."
He had to practically push Sabrina from the room. Then he realized that she was wearing an itty-bitty scrappy negligee that left nothing to the imagination. He wondered how long she had been in the bed with him.
If Melody hadn't come at the time she had, would he have realized that he was in bed with Sabrina? Would he have cared at that point? He doubted it. He felt a bitterness rising in him. He hated being duped, and he hated this whole scenario. It spilled over in his voice. "Sabrina, move it."
"Is she leaving?" Lauren asked eagerly.
"Yes," Logan said harshly. "Now."
"What about her stuff in the laundry room?" Lauren said, jumping up and clapping. "I can go and get it."
Lauren hurried away, running to the laundry room.
Sabrina inhaled deeply and looked at Logan fully. "So you are choosing Melody over me? I am younger and you love my body; a few moments ago you couldn't get enough of me."
Logan went closer to her and growled, "There was never any choice. Stop pushing me, Sabrina. A few moments ago, I didn't know it was you…I thought you were my wife in our bed."
Sabrina swallowed nervously; she had never seen Logan look like that before. He looked murderous. She stepped back from him slowly and then hurried to her room. Her plan had almost worked. Why did Melody get back when she did?
*****
Logan knocked on the bathroom door for the fifth time. He had just seen Sabrina off. She had shed a tear or two, but his heart was thoroughly hardened against her. Lauren was the one who helped her to pack, eagerly stuffing Sabrina's clothes in her hampers and standing at the door waving Sabrina off with a big grin on her face. When Logan had tucked her in, it had taken her a while to wind down.
Zack had slept through the whole drama. He would probably be the only one to miss her in the morning; he liked Sabrina. Then the thought hit Logan: she was his other sister, after all.
He put his head on the door and knocked again, "Melody, this is ridiculous. I can hear you crying in there. You are going to make yourself sick. We have to talk."
He heard water running and then, when the handle of the door was turning he put his hand on it.
The door opened a crack and Melody looked out.
"Tonight has been interesting," Logan said, stepping closer to the door. "Come on out so we can talk."
"You can say that again." Melody's voice sounded stuffy. "I caught you in our bed having sex with another woman."
"I had no idea that she was the one in the bed with me," Logan said, "I thought I was dreaming about you." He swallowed. "If you hadn't come when you did...I am sorry, Melody, for forcing her to stay in the house. Today at lunch she told me that she loved me. I just never thought that she would be so bold as to do this."
"You are attracted to her, aren't you?" Melody asked sickly, as if she wasn't hearing him. "You loved what you were doing with her, didn't you?"
Logan stepped back from the door. "I am a healthy heterosexual male, there was a woman in the matrimonial bed who I thought was my wife and she was touching my body the way you do. I responded. I didn't invite Sabrina in my bed, nor did I tell her any of the things that she said I did."
Logan held up his hands defensively. "Are you going to come out so we can talk about the fact that she's your daughter, or are we going to be focusing on me?"
Melody opened the door wider; her eyes were puffy and her nose was swollen. She had cried uncontrollably earlier, feeling as if her life was being ripped apart. She had not been able to distinguish between her past and her surprising present.
Tonight she had come this close to murder. When she had seen Logan in bed with Sabrina, her body had turned to ice. She had always wondered what she would do if she caught Logan cheating. Going absolutely still and unable to move had not been in her plans. She had imagined that she would have screamed and ranted like a wild thing. Instead she had been rooted to the spot, watching in horror as her husband, her love, ran his hands up Sabrina's smooth, flawless body, and whispered that she was "perfect."
It might take her the rest of her lifetime to forget the images, but she couldn't miss the fact that when she had turned on the light he had looked genuinely surprised to see that she wasn't in the bed with him.
Or maybe he had not been surprised. A kernel of distrust wedged its way into her mind.
"Did you tell Sabrina that you loved her at lunch today?" she asked hoarsely, leaning on the wall near the door. He was right; it was easier to focus on him and what just happened than her past.
"Why didn't you tell me that she was your daughter?" Logan countered. "You had her when you were fourteen?" He was looking at her as if he didn't know her. "Who is her father?"
Melody hung her head. "It's a long story."
"I'll bet," Logan said shortly. "A long story that you had no intention of telling me."
"You had sex with her..." Melody's voice trailed away.
"Stop saying that." Logan ran his hand over his face. "What happened in here tonight, I am going to own up, was my fault. Not because of what almost happened but because I invited Sabrina into our home. If she wasn't here this would not have happened."
"If she hadn't been born this would not have happened," Melody said dourly. "See, it's all my fault."
Logan got up from the bed and walked to the balcony door. He opened it and stared outside. He wasn't going to answer her. He could see that Melody was still gathering her thoughts and she was taking refuge in jabs at him. He looked out into the cloudless night; there were so many stars in the sky. He sat in one of the balcony chairs. In the past he and Melody had come out here to talk. They hadn't done much of that lately.
The balcony overlooked her koi pond, which was lit up in the night. He could see the little fish as they went about their business, swimming to nowhere, but it was fascinating nevertheless. Melody had joked that they would be entertainment when they were older. They would replace the lounge chairs with rocking chairs and they would sit on the balcony together and watch the fish.
He sat down on one of the chairs and watched the fish. He felt older than his thirty-six years for sure now; he was feeling a sense of displacement. He valued honesty and communication in his marriage because he realized that most of the marriages that he helped to dissolve fell apart because those two things were missing. Now he was blindsided; his ex-secretary was Melody's daughter. That same daughter had gotten into bed with him tonight, and he had touched and explored her body.
If what he had thought was a dream was actually reality, then Sabrina had been super intimate with him and he had let it happen; he had enjoyed it. He had thought it was Melody. He needed a shower.
He spun around and passed Melody, who was still standing at the bathroom door. He stripped and went into the shower and closed his eyes. He had never in a million years wanted this to happen. His rock-solid marriage suddenly felt like it was shaky.
He turned off the shower. When he stepped out of the bathroom, Melody was not in the room. The bed was stripped bare, with the old sheets on the floor. As if she had dragged them off in a rage.
*****
Melody put on the kettle. Her hands were shaking badly and she couldn't stand still; she had to pace to get out some of her nervous energy. She felt an inner fury so deep she had to bite her lips from howling with it.
The kettle started to whistle and she turned it off but for the life of her, her nerveless fingers couldn't lift it from the stove. A sob escaped her and she felt as if she couldn't hold her body up anymore.
She sank down in the middle of the kitchen, resting her head on the cupboard. She should have told Logan who Sabrina was as soon as she found out, but she had been thinking of her reputation. She had been thinking that telling him would end her marriage. Instead, not telling him had led to this.
She should have told Logan what Sabrina was planning to do. Another sob escaped her. She had stood by and watched as an overconfident Sabrina made a play for her husband. Just this morning, which seemed a long way away now, Sabrina was fixing his tie, taunting Melody with her knowledge of her past. She had allowed herself to be blackmailed—stupidly underestimating her foe. How could she have allowed this?
"What sort of tea were you going to make?" Logan asked in the middle of her fevered thoughts.
He had changed clothes; he was in gray track pants and a muscle shirt, which emphasized his lean taut muscles.
Melody swiped her hand across her eye. He looked good, virile, handsome—no wonder he was so attractive to Sabrina. The image of him in Sabrina's arms flashed against her mind’s eye and she shook her head, trying to clear it.
"Melody?" Logan asked.
"I...I ah," Melody sniffed, "I am not sure. I just put on the kettle."
Logan poured water into two mugs and added peppermint tea bags to both.
He leaned on the counter, looking down at her contemplatively. "It must be cold on the floor."
"It's cold everywhere," she murmured. "I may never get up."
Logan sat beside her. "Well, this is a different perspective." He was eye level to the bar stool. He hung his hands between his legs loosely.
"How was it?" Melody asked, a tremor to her voice. "With her?"
Logan looked at her wearily. "It was unsatisfying for me, if you didn't notice."
"I know you didn't finish, but you started and you liked it."
Logan sighed. "True, I liked it. I thought I was dreaming that we were having one of our fantasies."
"What happened before I came home?"
"I honestly don't know," Logan said, bewildered. "I was dreaming that you were..."
Melody inhaled deeply. "Stop. I don't think I can handle hearing anymore."
Logan grimaced. "You asked."
"I wish I never had her. I hate her," Melody said, banging her head on the cupboard door. "I hate her, hate her, hate her."
"No you don't," Logan said. "You hate the situation. Sabrina is not a bad person, just misguided, and she thinks she loves me."
"You would say that," Melody growled. "You just had sex with her."
Logan shrugged, "It was not premeditated and technically, it was interrupted, and stop saying I had sex with her."
"It was premeditated for her. She was planning it," Melody said. "She told me that she wanted you and she wanted me gone."
"It wasn't premeditated on my part," Logan said. "I am happy you came home when you did, and I am glad you didn't run away thinking the worst."
"I don't know what to think." Melody ran her fingers through her hair and started massaging her scalp, to help her get rid of the tension. "She's pretty and sexy and you knew she had a thing for you. She works for you; you wanted her here."
"I didn't want her here," Logan said. "I was trying to help, and if I were to have an affair with Sabrina I would not have taken her to our house and in my bed. Think about that."
"I don't want to think about any of it. I feel betrayed by you."
"Fair enough," Logan said. "I feel betrayed by you too. We are together for ten years, married for eight—a whole decade—and not one time did it cross your mind to say, ‘Hey Logan, you know when I was a teenager, I had a child. I gave her up for adoption.’"
Melody winced.
"You know, ten years is a lot of time to conceal such a momentous event in your life from your spouse. It has left me thinking that maybe all is not as it should be. I thought we were as intimate as we could get." Logan sighed. "Right now I feel as if I don't know you, really. I was under the mistaken assumption that we were two parts of a solid whole."
"I have never lied to you." Melody swallowed. "I am a different person than my younger self. That was a different era in my life. I just never told you."
"Why?" Logan asked.
"Because it would have been a deal breaker," Melody said. "When we were dating you stopped speaking to me for three weeks when I told you I wasn't a virgin. You had me on a pedestal or something.
"Can you imagine if I said, ‘And oh by the way, I got pregnant at fourteen and gave the child up for adoption?’ I loved you so much and I didn't want to lose you. Besides, by the time we met I had successfully buried that part of my life and it never came up later either. I just never thought it would..."
Logan got up and got the tea from the counter. "Would you like us to go sit somewhere more comfortable?"
Melody got up from the floor and stretched. She looked down at herself; she was in a yellow cotton dress that was severely creased. She took a mug from Logan and followed him to the living room. He sat on the long settee and turned on the lamp beside it, bathing the room in a soft yellow glow; she sat across from him.
"I could have handled you telling me about your pregnancy and the subsequent adoption," Logan said after a short silence. "I might not have spoken to you for a month or two, until I wrapped my mind around it. But you should know, Melody, that from that day at the beach when I rescued you from the rip tide, I was a goner. That's why I insist on us having an anniversary for it.
"I like to remember the sheer panic that I felt when I thought I was going to lose you. I really don't think anything you said could have stopped me from being with you. So, I guess you misjudged me there." Logan ran his hand over his eyes tiredly. "Tell me about it. That time."
Melody played with the hem of her dress. She still wasn't comfortable about sharing this story with Logan. She heaved a sigh and then said softy, "My grandma announced out of the blue on my thirteenth birthday that she was engaged to this guy, a diplomat she was seeing. So she called my parents and told them that they had to take responsibility for me. My parents were in some far away place doing God knows what at some production or other.
"They came to Jamaica that summer, a week before grandma got married and in my mind, booted me out of her life. She was the only person I knew as a parent and depended upon for stability.
"Anyway, my parents purchased a house in the hills of St. Ann. Apparently my mom always wanted to live in that area. It was a lovely spot; the house itself was once a plantation house. My mother liked the history of it and my father liked the location. And they had this notion that they would play the people of the manor. They got a butler and a maid, Babsy."
Logan looked at her sharply. "Babsy? I always thought she was your mother's cousin or something."
"Yes, I know. Babsy was the only sane person in that house for the half a year we spent there. I was sad about my grandma, I wasn't too used to my parents and they weren't too used to me and I was depressed. So I met this guy next door. He was sixteen, two years older than me. His name was Greg Riley."
"Greg Riley," Logan said. "When I mentioned his name you acted weird."
"Well..." Melody shrugged, "Greg was a kindred spirit; his parents had left him for the summer and he was in rebellion mode.
"I followed Greg everywhere and at first we were friends, but around the end of summer we decided that we were in love. I guess we were a little bored. After drinking and smoking marijuana didn't prove to be entertaining enough, we tried sex."
Logan clenched his hands.
"I was just fourteen," Melody said contemplatively. "I had no idea I was pregnant until Babsy pointed it out one week before Christmas. I didn't know how to feel; I know I didn't want a baby. My parent's lawyers arranged the adoption. I didn't know that my mother made an arrangement with the Walkers, her friends, to be Sabrina’s parents. I didn't know anything, really. Nor did I care to know too much. I didn't want to obsess over it when I got older. I thought it was for the best."
"Sabrina said her adopted mother wrote everything down."
"Yes." Melody nodded. "I guess she did, so here we are."
"So where is Greg Riley?" Logan asked.
"Dead," Melody said. "The theory is that he was drunk and went swimming. I was the one to find him. He was floating face down in the pool. I think all of Jamaica heard my screams that day." She shook her head. "He had just found out he was going to be a father. I think he committed suicide. Such a waste."
"It's hard to imagine that as part of your history," Logan said softly.
"Yes, I know," Melody sighed, "but I turned it around, didn't I?"
"That you did," Logan said softly. "So what are you going to do about Sabrina?"
Melody shifted on her chair. "Nothing."
Logan mused. "I fired her today. Her apartment isn't livable. She has effectively lost her only family link because of the stunt she pulled tonight. She is alone in this world."
"I can't do anything," Melody said hoarsely. "I don't want to. She brought all of this on herself. I really don't care what she does."
"Ah Melody," Logan said roughly; he opened his mouth to speak and then closed it.
"What?" Melody said uncomfortably. "She is a threat to my family. She will do anything to be with you. I can't have her around."
Logan got up. "You may be right. Are you coming to bed?"
"I don't think so," Melody said. "I can't sleep now. I am too wound up."
"I love you," Logan said. He reached down and caressed her cheek. "Only you."
Melody lowered her eyes from his. "Even though I am a statistic? A girl who got pregnant as a teenager."
Logan reached down and kissed her. "Yes."
"Are you sure?" Melody insisted.
"Come here," Logan pulled her out of her chair and hugged her tightly. He put his chin on top of her hair and inhaled deeply.
"Everybody makes mistakes, Melody, and you made your share of them then and no doubt you will make some in the future. I will love you through those too. Just as I am sure you will love me through mine."
Melody sniffed. "My mind is in a flux right now."
"I know," Logan murmured. "Want me to play you a lullaby?"
"Yes." Melody kissed him on his neck. "Thank you."
He pulled her to the piano in the corner and she sat beside him.
Logan played Bridge Over Troubled Water softly and started singing.
Melody relaxed beside him.