Chapter Seventeen

 

Melody woke up late again; she glanced at the clock and jumped up, her head pounding with a sickening thud. It was eight o'clock. The kids were supposed to go to school. She held her head in her hands. She glanced over at the empty side of her bed. Logan was already up; he must have seen them off. At least she hoped so.

She got back into the bed and closed her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping properly since the major showdown with Sabrina. One would think that after getting rid of her some days ago she would be able to rest easy and things could go back to the way they were.

Instead, she had begun to suffer from anxiety attacks. Just yesterday after she had pulled herself to a fundraiser that she had planned, she had suddenly felt a suffocating and overwhelming panic. She had not been able to move from her seat on the podium to introduce the keynote speaker.

She had felt as if all the persons in the audience were looking at her, mocking her, knowing that she had a daughter that she despised.

She was steeped in a big pool of guilt and for the life of her she couldn't get her tired brain to sleep. All the things she had once taken pride in organizing were slowly derailing. She was a wreck. A wreck without a schedule. She couldn't even remember what day it was. Was it Monday or Tuesday?

Her phone rang and she ignored it. That was a major accomplishment for her. She usually obsessed over who could be calling and if it was an emergency; now she simply didn't care. She felt like a rudderless ship, drifting at sea and there was no land in sight, and no anchor to hold on to.

She must have fallen asleep again because the sound of the telephone woke her up again. She reluctantly reached for it and answered groggily. "Hello."

"Melody," Logan said, a note of relief in his voice. "What's wrong? You aren't answering your phone. I have been trying to reach you all day."

"All day?" Melody said. Her voice was husky and sounded muffled. "It's still morning, Logan; you just left with the kids for school."

"Melody, it's four in the afternoon," Logan said quietly. "Remember you arranged for the band to do a lecture on music at the St. Theresa's girls home today? I'll be home soon."

Melody got up slowly. Her bones felt as if they were creaking like a door that needed oiling. She felt hallow in her stomach too and really hungry. How could a whole day have passed her by?

She stepped into the shower. Logan mentioned a lecture. Did that mean that today was Tuesday? She had arranged that lecture several weeks ago at the request of the mayor. Tuesday meant that it was exactly one week and one day since she found Sabrina in bed with her husband.

She had been malfunctioning ever since. She needed to get it together. Her shower didn't help. She sat on the bed in only her towel, only raising her head when Logan appeared in the doorway.

He crouched before her and looked into her face. "I am very concerned, Melody. You are not acting like yourself."

"Who am I?" Melody asked faintly. "I don't know who I am anymore."

Logan got up and sat beside her. "You are who you always were."

"But who is that?" Melody asked. "I am not sure what to do, where to go. I can't get over the fact that I am really happy that Sabrina is gone. I never liked her, and that doesn't sit well with me. I am the person who helps people, and yet here I am not caring to what happens to Sabrina in the future. Even knowing that she doesn't have any family, I find myself not caring. I feel like a really awful person now, Logan."

Logan sighed and pulled her to him. He kissed the top of her head.

"I love Lauren and Zack," Melody said. "Shouldn't I at least have felt something towards her?"

"Don't cut up yourself about this, Melody. I don't think you are going to see a child after nineteen years and instantly have a bond. It doesn't work that way. Sabrina is an adult, she grew up apart from you, and obviously she has a different mindset and different moral codes. It takes more than a blood connection to be family, you know that. You are not a bad person. You have been like a zombie all of this week. You know you are going to have to snap out of it, don't you?"

"I guess," Melody whispered. Her belly rumbled at the same time.

"Okay, let’s get some food into you," Logan said. "I am going to make a sandwich and then you are going to get ready."

 

*****

 

Melody's phone rang when she was on her way out of the room. She turned back and picked it up.

"Melodious." It was her mother. "I tried calling you earlier today."

"I know. I am not feeling so well, Mom. I wasted the whole day sleeping," Melody said, sinking back down on the bed. "I am feeling guilty about Sabrina."

"Whatever for?" Rita asked.

"Well, her apartment was flooded out and Logan had her staying here and she made a play for him."

"A play?" Rita asked, alarmed.

"She got into bed with him," Melody said with a sigh. "He was sleeping. She took advantage. And so we kicked her out."

"Oh dear," Rita said. "I should have called you as soon as your dad and I got back from the trip but I was dithering about telling you something."

"What?" Melody asked. "How was your trip, by the way?"

"It was fine," Rita cleared her throat. "We met Jan and Howard Walker. Imagine how super awkward it was. I haven't seen them since the adoption."

Melody gasped. "But Sabrina said they were dead in a car accident..."

"They are not dead, Melodious," Rita said. "Jan is very much alive and young looking. I got her surgeon's number after hinting at it several times, and Howard is working out. He dresses like a man half his age."

"But...No," Melody gasped. "Sabrina lives in Montego Bay because she wanted to be near her only known family in the world. She is lonely and has no one and she raised herself from she was younger. Her mother had memory issues and her father was a hoarder."

"Rubbish," Rita dismissed. "As much as I am scatterbrained and ditzy—your father's word, by the way—I would not give my grandchild to less than stellar parents. Jan and Howard own a manufacturing plant; they sell detergent and that kind of thing. It may not be glamorous but it is profitable.

"Jan confessed that some years ago she wrote down your name in a diary, along with ours. She said she had a temporary loss of memory after an accident and she was concerned that it would be permanent, so she wrote down a few important things.

"Apparently Sabrina found the diary a little more than two years ago and she changed. She didn't take the news that she was adopted well.

"She went into full rebellion mode, had an affair with one of Howard's married clients, a close friend of the family. She ran away from home, lived with the married guy for a while and then when that relationship ended, she decided that she needed a change of scenery. Her parents bought her an apartment in Montego Bay. They had no idea that you were there or that Sabrina had made contact."

"Stop." Melody was trying to sort out what her mother was saying. "So she is not alone in the world?"

"How could she be?" Rita asked. "She has two parents who would move mountains for her, plus a host of family members, especially on Jan's side of the family, who are very supportive of her. Howard is really proud that she is going to do law; couldn't stop bragging about his girl."

"But...but..." Melody stuttered, "she said she was alone in the world. I was feeling so guilty."

"Don't. That girl has more support than you ever had when you were younger. I did take that into consideration, you know, when we were thinking of the adoption. The family is Babsy-approved; the Walkers are good Christian people."

"Thank you, Mom." Melody got up, feeling a weight shift off her. "Thanks a lot."

 

*****

 

"You look happy, but I guess you would be after Rita's call," Logan whispered when they sat down in the front row of the large auditorium in the girl's home. All of the band members were there with their wives. Melody had forgotten that she had strong-armed the whole troupe to attend the event because this was the charity she was most interested in.

"Yes, she does look happy," Ian said, grinning. He was sitting beside Melody and overheard. "Whatever you did, Logan, keep on doing it."

Logan chuckled. "All I do is love her." Then he frowned. "There is Sabrina; what's she doing here?"

"I invited her when you were in the shower," Melody said, her smile faltering a little.

"And she came to a music lecture?" Logan asked.

"Yes, I told her that you guys were going to play and she was invited," Melody said. "I texted her on your phone. No surprise that she is here; she loves you."

"What are you up to, Melody?" Logan frowned.

"Nothing much." Melody grinned. "Anyway, I have MC duties. Got to go."

She kissed Logan on his lips and got up.

"Hello everyone," Melody said to the jam-packed auditorium. "My name is Melody Moore and I am the manager for the New Song band."

A cheer went up.

"We will be hearing from each band member today about different aspects of music, and then they are going to play us some songs. They have also consented to doing three special selections for you.

"So get your pens and paper ready and write your request. A box will be sent around. The three most numerous requests will be performed. Without further ado, I invite Mr. Carson Bell and Mrs. Alice Bell to the podium."

The crowd of girls went 'wooo' when Carson stepped up on the stage. He grinned; he was quite used to it. "When we were looking at what aspects of music to discuss, Alice and I chose the topic, What Makes A Good Duet…"

He and Alice had a great rapport with the crowd. And when they were finished they got a standing ovation. Each band member gave a good report. Some of the girls were even jotting down notes.

Then it was Logan's turn.

"My topic is simple, really," Logan said. "I am married to the gracious MC, Mrs. Melody Moore so I thought I should name my talk, How To Get A Perfect Melody In Three Easy Steps."

"Awww." The crowd chuckled.

"What is a melody? Anybody know?" Logan asked.

Several persons pointed to Melody. The crowd started laughing.

"Well..." Logan laughed. "You are not wrong. Musically speaking, though, a melody is defined as a memorable series of pitches. In a non-formal setting, we can just say it's the tune of the song. You know when you are bopping your head to a favorite song and you say that's a good tune?"

He gave a very involved talk on melodies and then he wrapped up his lecture.

"Okay, so in summary, in order to get a perfect melody in three simple steps: you have to be patient; a perfect melody was not built in one day. Sometimes it can take years." He gave Melody a loaded look when he said that.

"Second, you have to persevere: try and fail and try and fail again. Most of tune building involves a lot of failure. The key is to stick to it.

"Third, practice makes perfect. The more you work at creating the perfect melody, the better you will be. And this is applicable for every single aspect of our lives. In all our endeavors whether musically, spiritually or otherwise, remember the three p’s—patience, perseverance and practice. Thank you."

Melody hugged Logan when she took the microphone from him.

After the applause died down, she said, "I love my husband."

The audience chuckled. "Awww."

"It's no secret," Melody said, "I really love him. I have a secret, though." Her hands trembled on the mike. "And I battled with telling it to anyone for weeks—well, months… no, years."

The auditorium became deathly quiet.

"I am choosing today to 'out' myself," she looked into the crowd, "because I have been a member of the girls’ home board for years and it’s only fair to say that one of the reasons I am so motivated to work with the girls here is because I can see a younger version of myself in some of you.

"As Logan said, sometimes it can take years to build a perfect melody, and it is true. I am still being worked on. Years ago when I was fourteen, I drank, took drugs and got pregnant. I had the child and gave her up for adoption. My parents found a wonderful family who loves her, and I am grateful for that. It has put my mind at rest."

Melody sought out Sabrina, who was standing nearly at the back of the auditorium. She had a shocked expression on her face.

"As I said I am not perfect but it feels so good to put this bit of information out there. That is why working with this particular home means so much to me and that is why I can relate so well to so many of you. I know what I am talking about."

She exhaled.

"Thank you all; the band will now sing."

The girls got up and clapped. Her friends who were in the front row had slightly shocked looks on their faces, but they were clapping as well.

 

*****

 

"I still think you are perfect." Ruby hugged Melody when the function was over and they were gathered in the parking lot.

Ian was frowning. "Sabrina Walker, Logan's secretary, is your daughter? I need to hear this story again."

"At practice next Wednesday I will run over the gory details for your benefit." Melody said playfully. "I will expose my soul for all of you to hear."

"Good," Ian said, satisfied. "But only if it makes you feel better."

Alice pinched Melody. "So this hypothetical friend you mentioned at the parlor some weeks ago was you?"

Melody nodded.

Alice smiled. "Well then, I will just have to give you all the love and support and whatever else you need through this time in your life."

Melody chuckled. "I am okay now. I found out this evening that Sabrina is not alone in the world. I don't feel guilty anymore about not being closer to her. I think she used the lonely story to get sympathy from Logan and to punish me for giving her up. She was trying to seduce him."

Logan hugged her to him. "Okay, I am hungry. Where are we heading to next?"

"No, hold on just a minute," Jayce said. "I would like to know if there are any secrets left in this circle. My poor heart can't take any other left field announcements. Secret children, secret boyfriends, secret identities, secret medical conditions. Any other secrets?"

"Well, I am having twins," Farrah said in the silence. "And I only told Xavier."

"That's it?" Jayce asked.

"That's it," Xavier said grinning.

"Okay." Jayce nodded. "Carson, Alice?"

"Nothing here," Carson said, shrugging. "Mia has a crush on this guy at her school. He's eighteen and he seems to like her back."

"We need to look into that." Jayce frowned. "He is too old for her."

Ian chuckled. "What are we going to do, break his legs at dawn?"

"No," Aaron said, "we can all show up en masse at the school yard one morning and wave to him with a frown on our faces like this." Aaron demonstrated and they all laughed.

"I would never in a million years want you guys to be my uncles," Alka chimed in. "You are going to ruin poor Mia's romantic life."

"What romantic life?" the guys asked in unison.

Alka held up her hands. "I give up. Poor Mia."

 

*****

 

One by one the couples headed to their various vehicles. Logan and Melody were turning to their car when Sabrina came out of the shadows near the car, a defensive hunch to her shoulders.

"I am sorry," she said weakly, "to both of you. I am sorry for lying to you about my parents and all of the other stuff that went down."

She bit her lips and then looked down at her shoes, sneakers with red laces. "I got a bit derailed, that's all. I am fine now."

Melody swallowed. She had thought that Sabrina had already gone. She had invited her to the event to let her know that she was not keeping any more secrets about her past.

She looked at Sabrina, who was shorn of her sophistication and her bravado, and she felt a wave of compassion for her. There it was, the feeling that had proven so elusive when it came to Sabrina.

She found herself saying, "Sabrina, maybe we can email each other sometime. Do this reconciliation thing slowly. Who knows, maybe one day we can be friends."

"Okay, that sounds great," Sabrina said, lifting her chin. "Thank you."

She smiled ruefully. "I am moving back to Kingston; I'll do law there. My mom and dad miss me at home. I think I'll stay there for a while with them. Being on my own has been a disaster so far."

Sabrina looked at Logan sheepishly. "Goodbye Mr. Moore."

"Bye Sabrina," Logan said coldly. He was still not pleased with her and it echoed in his voice.

Sabrina stood and watched them in the shadows as they linked their fingers together and headed to the car. Her heart was breaking into a million shattered pieces. She had no idea if it would ever be whole again. Things could have been so radically different for her with them if she hadn't been such a witch, especially with Melody. She heaved a sigh and headed to her vehicle.

When they got in the car, Logan kissed Melody. "So you declared to an auditorium filled with people that you love your husband. Hmmm."

"Hmmm, what?" Melody asked, smiling.

"Well, I have a declaration of my own," Logan said, touching her cheek and then leaning toward her, "I just want you to know that I love my wife too, forever and always."

"Till we are old and gray," Melody said softly.

"Till we are old and grey," Logan repeated.

 

 

The End