15

What Porn Users Say About Sex

It is obvious that there is an epidemic of pornography in our culture and around the world. Pornography is addicting. It binds people like chains and destroys their marriages before they even start. As we mentioned in the last chapter, it's like a drug—an “erotic toxin”—that makes people feel high, which is why it becomes so physically addicting.

We've got to be smarter than the people who put the pornography out there and recognize that pornography can put us into bondage. We need to protect our future marriage and our future spouses from the thoughts that want to destroy our sex life before we even get married.

In this chapter, we will look at some young people who started some bad habits involving pornography and get a little advice from them on what they did to get out of it. Listen to what they have to say.

My brother introduced me to Internet porn when I was in elementary school, and after that I was hooked. I wanted to find out more about the opposite sex, and I began to search out avenues.

(Male, age 19)

I was into porn for a while until God saved me from it. I got into it by seeing an ad on TV.

(Male, age 15)

My addiction started with masturbation. When I was about 13, I had to run to God so He could purify me and take that desire away.

(Female, age 19)

When I was in middle school, I was involved in masturbation and pornography. This stemmed from romance novels. I quickly realized that what I was doing was wrong, and I had repented by high school.

(Female, age 19)

When I was in junior high and a little of high school, I would get online and talk to random guys who wanted to have “cyber sex” with me. I would do this fairly regularly.

(Female, age 18)

I started using porn at a very young age when my friend showed it to me. I have gotten over it by renewing my mind daily with the Word of God and relying on Him and His faithfulness, not on my own strength.

(Male, age 19)

Porn…cybersex ( Internet chat )…television, over the phone…“experimenting” with the same sex. I'm getting over it by the grace of God.

(Female, age 19)

It started with masturbation. My high school health teacher encouraged us to “get to know our bodies.” I overcame it by memorizing a lot of Scripture—knowing who I am and what I'm worth.

(Female, age 18)

I would watch movies with inappropriate content. I was in love with the idea of being in love. Even if I was thinking about doing those things with my future husband, that still doesn't cut it. “It's still in your mind, and the journey from your mind to your hand is shorter than you're thinking” (Casting Crown's).

(Female, age 15)

My porn addiction started from emails and quickly escalated. Praying and reading my Bible has helped me—keeping my spirit man strong.

(Male, age 19)

I used to struggle with porn, but now I don't watch TV or get on the Internet unless someone is home.

(Female, age 15)

I was curious about porn when I was 11 to 12, but I never had the guts to watch it. I did struggle with masturbation. As I got older and grew in my relationship with God, the bad habits and thoughts gradually faded.

(Female, age 19)

I was into online porn. I took my computer out of my room and have an accountability friend.

(Male, age 20)

I never got into porn, but I remember the first time I heard dirty jokes. It was actually on a mission trip. They all ended in some sexual punch line. I didn't really know they were “dirty jokes,” and I thought it was funny to tell them.

(Female, age 19)

I was into “light” Christian romance novels (they were definitely sexually arousing, or at least made me sexually aware) and chick flicks that made me constantly think about relationships and sensuality. I'm over it now.

(Female, age 19)

It was into Internet porn and videos when my friends would have it around. It started in the sixth grade, cruisin’ the Internet, and in ninth grade my friends would watch it.

(Female, age 22)

For me, it was Internet pornography and being flirtatious. It started when I accidentally walked in on my older brother looking at some porn. I got curious, so I got into it as well. I got over it and am still learning by setting my mind on things above (see Colossians 3:1-2) and being transformed by the renewing of my mind (see Romans 12:2). I've trusted God to get me through.

(Male, age 19)

I have always struggled with lust. I have not totally gotten over it yet.

(Male, age 19)

I used to look at porn online a lot and try to find it on TV late at night. One day I realized that God was better than that. I still get tempted, but my faith drowns out the temptations.

(Male, age 22)

For me, it was Internet porn. I don't remember how it got started. I got to a point I hated it, so I did whatever it took to break free from the addiction. I read books, told my parents, and prayed.

(Male, age 20)

When I was in middle school, I was involved in masturbation and pornography. This stemmed from romance novels. I quickly realized this was wrong and had repented by high school.

(Female, age 19)

I started masturbating when I was little. I prayed to God and asked to not have that feeling anymore, and I kept my mind pure.

(Female, age 19)

My struggle with Internet porn started out of curiosity. I wanted to know what it was all about, and I couldn't stop doing it. I got over it by seeking help for my addiction and memorizing Scripture.

(Male, age 19)

I struggled with masturbation after reading about some things and hearing that all the popular girls did it at school. I prayed that the Lord would purify my heart and sanctify my mind. We renew our minds by the Word.

(Female, age 18)

I was into pornography. It started when I slept over at a friend's house and his parents weren't home. He wanted to show me something, and it was porn. It was awkward in the beginning, but it soon became common to me. I have gotten over it by soaking in the Word. I realized that it wasn't worth it and that only God can fill my desires.

(Male, age 18)

As you can see, using pornography is destructive, and sometimes it doesn't take much to get hooked to it. It's better to stop before you ever get involved. Set up some safeguards on your computer and your phone to block certain content, and get some accountability. Put Scriptures around your computer of who you want to be. Here are a few you can use:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

(Proverbs 4:23)

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

(1 Corinthians 6:18)

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

(Colossians 3:2)

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality.

(1 Thessalonians 4:3)

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

(2 Timothy 2:22)

Write these verses on sticky notes and put them around your desktop so that you can remind yourself of the pure man or woman that you really want to be.