What you are about to read are stories from guys and girls told to you as if they were your closest friends. Imagine sitting across from your best friend as he or she tells you about his or her sexual situation. You would be hearing not just how and what happened, but how they felt afterward. Many of these guys and girls, as you will see, are ringing with regret. Listen to their stories carefully and try to see life through their eyes. Feel their heart as you listen to their stories.
14 (female)
I was with two guys in a truck outside my house. They were both pressuring me to have sex. I continually kept saying “no” or “I don't know,” but I finally gave in because I thought they wouldn't like me. I lost my virginity to two guys on the same night. It was my first night for everything.
I went through guilt. I do regret doing it.
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17 (female)
I'd fooled around with a couple of guys, but I hadn't actually had sex. There was a guy who I had a big crush on, and he wanted to sneak over to my house in the middle of the night. We made a regular habit of this, and I did everything with him except actually have sex. One night, he decided he wasn't going to listen to me. I kept telling him no, but he did it anyway.
Emotionally I had some big problems. I hated myself and felt like I wasn't good for anything. I felt like a whore, even though what happened wasn't my fault. I've torn myself apart by doing things with him and other guys. I'm heartbroken.
15 (female)
I got used by a guy. He and I don't talk anymore. I only did it because I thought it would change the way he felt about me and make him actually like me.
I went through depression, regret and sorrow. I regretted ever thinking about doing anything with him. And, to this day, I still wish I hadn't done anything.
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16 (female)
I haven't had sex, but I'd say I've lost my purity.
Very much regret. I felt like a slut, a tramp.
16 (female)
I was pressured into it from a guy I thought I really liked. Then afterward he wanted to break up when I didn't want to mess around anymore.
It was definitely hard, like a slap in the face. I felt lost and broken, and I was too embarrassed to talk about it to anyone. I completely regretted it.
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16 (female)
I had oral sex.
I felt guilty at myself, and I felt like part of my childhood was gone.
16 (female)
The first time just started with a kiss. After I kissed him, he told me he would never try to take my purity, but I was thinking, “Hey, you are right now,” and then we ended going a lot further.
Even when I was kissing him, I knew he wasn't the one. And I wanted so badly for him just to hold me and love me, and not expect anything.
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17 (female)
The first time I slept with a guy was because of a horrible decision I made based on being left alone by a previous boyfriend. When I say “left” I really mean it–he left without even saying “it's over” or “goodbye.” The guy I slept with was a friend whom I found refuge in, and because we were just friends, I felt safe that he would not abandon me.
After having sex for the first time, at the moment I felt glad that I had done it, because I felt satisfied. But when I went to church the next weekend, my mistake was staring me in the face. I suffered a lot after my bad choices. I always felt guilty, and sex was never satisfying.
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There's been a Couple of times–12 and 16 (female)
When I was 12 I was babysitting with a family friend who I referred to as my “cousin.” He was two years older than me, and I was curious.
I felt bad, but I didn't know why, so I told my mom. Yeah, I regret it, because I sort of lost her trust.
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15 or 16 (female)
I felt nasty, like trash, after the first time it happened. I ran to my best friend's house at 4:00 in the morning crying. I felt dirty, like damaged goods, but it was nothing compared to the rape.
15 (male)
I was dating a girl who went to my church, and it happened at my house.
I felt uncomfortable after the affair, because she was 18.
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17 (female)
I snuck my boyfriend into my bedroom at night, and then it just happened.
Regret. I still have trouble forgiving myself.
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Sadly, I was only 12 (female)
I was with a boy who told me he loved me, and I believed him.
I didn't feel like a child anymore, and I was disgusted with myself.
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12 (female)
I was going out with this guy who was 16–almost 17–and he pressured me into it.
I was completely changed, and I regret it with all my heart. I wish I could take it back.
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Almost 15 (female)
I was with this guy I liked, and he was really into worldly things.
I went through a really hard time afterward. I regretted it a lot.
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15 (female)
I was forced into it by a boyfriend.
I felt pretty dirty, I mean, I felt low.
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14 (female)
I started dating this guy who was 23 whom I had met through a friend. He gradually led me into kissing and more physical things, and then one night I gave in after many make–out sessions and gave away my virginity..
I regretted it so much–more than anyone can know. He said he loved me, and I was confused. But he didn't love me, and he broke my heart..
15 (female)
It was not sex, but oral sex with my boyfriend.
I cried and regretted it and tried to change.
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14 (male)
I was at a party and me and this girl started flirting, and one thing led to another and…yeah.
I was excited at the time, but regret came later when I got saved.
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15 (female)
I was at a boy's house after homecoming. We were the only ones home.
I mostly felt the loss of innocence and regret because my future husband wouldn't have me first.
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11 when I started messing around; 14 when I lost my purity (female)
I was in a relationship with a l7–year–old. We were both Christians and we tried to stay pure, but we kept putting ourselves in bad situations. He graduated high school and had come to live with my family. At night I would go and lie next to him and fall asleep…and we let our emotions go crazy. He was gentle with me, but it started really hard sexual bonds in both our lives..
I felt as if I failed, so I just kept messing around with guys. I felt like every guy was going to treat me the same way, and for the most part they did. I lived a lie from my parents, and it was emotionally hard because I needed my mom. God was continually convicting me, but I didn't know how to get free from this trap..
14 (female)
I was at a high school party and was dancing with this guy who enjoyed my presence. As we were dancing, he pulled me over to this chair and began to grope me, and then one thing led to another.
It was one of the hardest things, because he moved away at the end of the summer and never called or kept in any kind of contact with me. I felt used, unworthy and broken.
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16 (female)
I have not lost my sexual purity, but with my first boyfriend my friends and his parents encouraged us to move quickly. We played with one another's emotions.
Much regret. I felt disgusted and gross!
16 (female)
I felt so dirty and unworthy. I cried so much, because I knew I had disappointed my parents and had given in to my stupid culture that said, “They will love you more if you do it.” I regret it so much.
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16 (male)
It started with what seemed like innocent kissing, but escalated very quickly. The setting was a dark room with no one around–a dangerous setting to be in.
A ton of sadness and depression. I felt very alone, even with many people around.
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17 (female)
My boyfriend spent the night at my house, and I snuck out of my room to join him on the couch.
I was shocked at my own behavior, and it started a cycle that was hard to break.
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14 female)
My brother had a friend over and so did I; we just all hooked up when my parents were sleeping..
When I was younger I thought it was cool, but as I continued hooking up as I got older I felt serious regret..
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16 (female)
It was on a dare, and I didn't want to be a chicken..
I now regret everything I did. I didn't feel like I was loved unless I slept with guys.
16 (female)
I was caught by the cops in my parents’ van in a park.
I was kicked out of my parents’ house for a time. Despair. Regret. Guilt. Frustration. Constant tears.
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15 (male)
I was riding in the back seat of a car with a girl, and stuff happened.
Even now I regret what happened. Every time I see her, it comes back.
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16 (female)
I was going out with a guy for months, and we both wanted to stay pure. One night we went to a party together and left early. We ended up having sex in the back seat of the car.
I was so angry at myself. I regret it completely.
Here are some other comments from teens about what they felt after having sex for the first time:
I was an emotional wreck.
I thought I loved her and she loved me, but that wasn't the case. I regret all of it!
I didn't regret it until we broke up, and then I felt shame and deep regret. I thought it was forever, but I was just naive about the whole situation.
I felt disgusted, stupid, trapped, ugly—like I was a plaything.
It is said that wisdom comes from learning from the mistakes of others. All of us can say, “I sure learned from that mistake.” How much better would it be if we could learn from others’ mistakes so we do not actually have to live through those pitfalls! Read between the lines of these stories, and you will see wisdom. The wisdom of their experiences is the same wisdom spoken of in the Bible.