image
image
image

11. The Letter: Jason

image

“Mr. DeBois,” Jason called.

Mr. DeBois turned around. “May I help you?”

“Is there somewhere private we can talk?”

“I was headed home. We could talk in my office if you’d like.”

Jason nodded and Mr. DeBois led the way to his house. It didn’t take long.

“How can I help you?” he asked when they were seated in his office.

Jason cleared his throat. “I need to know if the rumors about Sidney are true.”

Mr. DeBois sighed. “They are. Sidney took up poker in the bars a year ago. I tried to keep it quiet by paying off each of his debts, but it grew progressively worse, so a couple weeks ago, I took Sidney aside and told him I would no longer pay.”

Jason pursed his lips. “I see. Thank you for your honesty.”

“He was courting your sister for a while, wasn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry if this affects her at all.”

“I’m sure it will. Whether it will be a good thing or a bad one remains to be seen.”

Mr. DeBois stood up. “Thank you for coming to me instead of believing the rumors. You seem like a very nice young man.”

Jason stood and smiled. “Thank you and you’re welcome. I need to get going now. I’ll see you around.”

“Goodbye, Mr. Poler.”

***

image

Jason walked home in stunned silence. His heart sank and tears pricked his eyes. First the episode of the evening before and now this information. “God, how can I help her? What can I do?”

Nothing. The thought came so suddenly and fast it made Jason jump. Nothing? He couldn’t do anything at all?

Nothing.

He sank into the closest chair and buried his head in his hands. There was nothing he could do. “‘My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons,’” Jason muttered to himself. “God, I have been trying to do things my own way and it isn’t working. I need to remember that You are always in control and can take care of anything. Help me stay humble, Lord, and help me remember to lean always on You.”

***

image

Later that day, Jason went to Claire’s house as usual. But unlike usual, he had sobering things to tell her as well as ask her. After a wonderful meal, Claire and Jason went to the parlor to talk.

“I have a few things to say,” Jason started. “Both are kinda hard, so bear with me.” He took a deep breath. “First, I have to confess to you that I have struggled with pride ever since I became a Christian just over two years ago. I preferred being around those who shared my beliefs and had a hard time not feeling like I was better than my family. I didn’t realize it then, but I think that’s one of the main reasons my family wanted me to leave.

“I know now how wrong I was and have repented. Last night, I asked my family for forgiveness as well. Jessa didn’t really respond, but my parents were grateful and suddenly more open to what I had told them about becoming a Christian.

“Anyway, now I need to ask your forgiveness. I’m sorry I was so proud and arrogant. Please forgive me?”

Claire nodded. “I forgive you. I think that is one of the easiest sins for Christians to slide into.”

“I agree.”

There was a short pause while Jason tried to figure out how to say the next thing on his mind.

“You had something else to say?” Claire asked.

Jason sighed. “Yes. I just don’t know how to or if you’ll talk about it...”

“Spit it out and I can let you know.”

Jason nodded. “Well, a while ago, you were hesitant to be in the same room as Sidney DeBois and even more hesitant to tell me why. Are you willing to talk about it now?”

Claire grimaced. “I’d hoped you would forget about that.”

“Sorry. You don’t have to—”

“No, I want to.” She took a deep breath. “It’s silly, actually. It goes all the way back to school. I was the fat, ugly bookworm and Sidney was the rich, handsome popular boy. He always had girls around him as well as boys, listening to every word he had to say and imitating him. He was the instigator in many teasing sessions that drove me deeper into my books. It never helped my studies as much as I hoped, but at least it kept me away from him. I guess I’ve never really gotten over the awful things he used to call me.”

Jason frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s nothing that can be fixed now. I just wish he had changed, for Jessa’s sake.”

Jason sighed. “Me, too.” He paused. “Can I...? Do you mind if I ask you for advice?”

“No, of course not. What is it?”

“Jessa worries me. She hasn’t moved on.” He scratched his head. “Actually, she has. But not in a good way. She’s dressing like a spinster and talking to girls about how awful men are and not to even entertain the thought of marriage. I don’t know what to do. She’s...”

“Confused?”

“Confusing. One month she can’t get enough dresses, the next, she’s purging everything pretty and keeping only her drab clothes. I don’t get it.”

Claire licked her lips. “I can’t say I really understand her, but she is hurting. My guess is this is her way of coping with that hurt. It’s the only way she can come up with on her own to deal with Sidney’s abandonment of her. Do you know if she’s heard the latest about him?”

“No, I don’t think she has, but I have. If she did know, she’d be ranting about the evils of gambling. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing, mind you. Gambling is wrong in any form.” He sighed again. “Any ideas on how we could talk to her without talking to her? She refuses to speak a word to me.”

Claire tapped her cheek, got up and went to the desk, and pulled out some paper, pen, and an inkwell. “A letter. What would you like to say?”

For the next hour, they labored over the letter. The end result was:

Dearest Jessamine,

When I (Jason) got back from my two years away, I know I was hard on you and rather judgmental. Again, I’m sorry I was that way. You are my beloved sister, and I don’t want anything to come between us. I had concerns about Sidney from the very beginning, but said nothing because I assumed Dad knew more about him than I did.

We have both done some digging, and I went to Mr. DeBois to find out if the rumors were true. This is something you won’t want to hear, but something we think you really need to hear. If you haven’t heard, it is a good thing Sidney stopped courting you. He took up gambling a while ago and has lost a lot of money doing it. That is why he went after the other young lady.

Jessa, you are a beautiful young woman. We both think you will make someone a wonderful wife and mother someday. Right now, you are hurt by Sidney’s callous attitude toward you and I’m sure that is very hard for you. The only thing that can fill the void and heal your hurt is God.

You deserve to be more than someone’s gambling payoff. You are worth more than just a prize in someone’s hand of poker.

I know you blame God, but have you considered that He did this so you could see Sidney’s true colors? Neither of us can truly imagine what you feel like and we aren’t even going to try. But we both know the peace and love from knowing Christ.

If you get nothing else from this letter, please know we are both here for you, we both love you dearly, and we want the best for you. Please come to either one of us if you have any questions or just want to talk.

Sincerely,

Jason and Claire

Claire dotted the i in her name, dusted the ink, blew the dust off, and handed the letter to Jason. He read it carefully. “I think you misspelled something,” he said with a straight face.

“What? Let me see.”

Jason held the letter out of her reach.

“Jason Poler!” Claire exclaimed. “What are you doing?”

Jason doubled over in laughter. “That was... The look on your face.” He tried to stop laughing and finally did. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist teasing you. There are no misspelled words that I could find. It sounds very good.”

“Thank you. I think.”

“I’ll slip this under Jessa’s door tonight when I get home.”

Claire shook her head. “I think you should hand it to her personally.”

Jason grimaced. “You think so?”

“Yes. She may not like it at first, but the personal touch will hopefully impact her later. She doesn’t have to say anything either.”

“But I do.”

Claire nodded.

“Like what?”

“You are creative. I think you can figure something out.”

“I’m not so sure.” He stuck out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout.

“Oh, please, Jason. Grow up a little. You aren’t three anymore. The puppy dog eyes and pout don’t work as well for grown men.”

“They do sometimes.”

“How do you know?”

He crossed his arms. “I’m not telling.”

“What is with you today? You are being extremely odd.”

“Good question. It’s probably because the weight of the confession and figuring out how to talk to Jessa being lifted let out a new side of me.”

“Maybe. You sure it isn’t more than that?” Claire asked.

Jason’s stomach knotted up. Had she guessed? “No, I’m not sure. But it’s as good an explanation as any, isn’t it?”

Claire’s eyes narrowed. “Maybe.”

Jason glanced at the clock. “It’s late. I should get home. Thanks for a lovely dinner, talk, and for helping with the letter.”

“You’re welcome,” Claire said hesitantly. “Are you sure you have to leave so abruptly and so soon?”

Jason tapped his toes on the floor. “Yes, I think I do. Don’t I?”

“I’m fine with you staying for a little longer. Mother?”

Mrs. Hopkins peeked into the room. “Yes?”

Claire smiled. “Are you?”

“Am I what?”

Now it was Claire’s turn to cross her arms. “You heard what was said.”

Mrs. Hopkins’s face reddened. “Yes, it is fine if he stays another half hour or so.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Claire said with a grin aimed at Jason.

Jason leaned back in his chair. “I guess I’m staying, then.”

“I guess so. What shall we talk about?”

“I don’t care. What do you want to talk about?”

Claire leaned forward, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “What really caused you to be so giddy a few minutes ago and why you suddenly wanted to leave.”

Jason gulped. “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I know.”

“So what is it really?”

He sighed. “I’m not at liberty to say at the moment.”

Claire pouted and huffed.

“Now you’re the one with the exaggerated pout and puppy eyes. It won’t work on me, either.”

Claire giggled. “All right. Shall we play a quick game of checkers?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Excellent.”