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THE AUDITION TOOK PLACE at the beautiful Wolholen Theater.
Maude did not know if she was more nervous than her mentee.
Grace was dressed just like Lilac Goldsmith would be: in a white dress with a sash like all the other girls auditioning.
Backstage were five fidgeting girls accompanied by their equally agitated coaches.
One stood out more than the others: a small girl of fourteen with perfectly curled, chestnut hair and a button nose. Standing behind her, Julia Tanand tightened the ribbon in the girl’s hair.
When she noticed Maude, she dropped her hands and squealed.
“Maude! What are you doing here?”
“I’m here with my student, Grace Heaton. She’s auditioning for the role of Lilac. Just like your protégée.”
“Oh, Ira Tempest is the best. I don’t want to scare Grace, but Ira here was nominated twice for a Tony Award. Twice. Once for The Sound of Music. Really, she’s everything Soderline is looking for.”
Grace startled nervously and played with her sash.
“Grace,” Maude said, “why don’t you go check your makeup in the bathroom while I talk to Julia here.”
“Ira, why don’t you go with her.”
“I’m fine right here. I just went to the bathroom,” Ira replied dully.
“Go!”
Ira obeyed and followed Grace.
Maude’s eyes narrowed.
“Don’t you dare try to destabilize my student.”
“That’s not what I was doing. I swear.”
“Don’t look at me with that innocent look. Don’t pull any tricks, don’t speak to Grace, don’t look at her, don’t even think of her.”
“Gee, you’re a tad overprotective.”
“I know what you’re capable of.”
“I’ve changed my ways.”
“If your new ways aren’t worse than your old ones, we’re good.”
“Listen, Maude, I may appear brazen at times, but I really appreciate what you did for me. I’ll never forget it. I promise, I won’t do anything to thwart Grace’s success. May the best woman win.”
They shook hands.
Meanwhile, the two girls were alone in the bathroom.
Grace and Ira stared at the mirror. They peered at each other cautiously, with sideway glances, each unwilling to take the first step.
Ira wrung her hands, turning to Grace with anguish.
“I can’t do it!”
“You’re constipated?”
“I’m scared of the audition! I’ll make a fool of myself. Julia and Alan Lewis will hate me.”
“You’re scared?”
“Terrified! I’m not ready.”
Ira wept and faced Grace with a fresh stream of tears. Taken aback, Grace patted Ira’s shoulder weakly, unsure of how to handle the situation. She gathered her wits and tried to comfort her weakened rival.
“You’re Ira Tempest. You’ve played in lots of productions. Magazines said you were the next Idina Menzel.”
“That’s true,” Ira sniffed.
“I’ve seen your videos and you’re really good. You stole the show in The Sound of Music.”
“You think so?” Ira sniffed.
“Yeah, stop crying.”
“You’re right!” Ira dabbed her face with toilet paper. “I’m Ira Tempest. I’ve been nominated. I’ve had a gazillion auditions and experiences. I’m still making money with commercials. I’m on the cover of the latest edition of Miss Teen. What was I thinking? Nobody stands a chance against me.”
“That’s right,” Grace encouraged.
“See you later. Good luck!”
Ira swung the door open and marched out happily.
Grace looked at herself in the mirror. Slowly the words sunk in.
Tony Awards.
Magazines.
Cover.
Money.
Ira had all of those things. She was Lilac.
Not her.
She had just convinced Ira that she was the best.
How would she ever persuade herself that she had a chance against Ira?
Which producer in their right mind would choose her over a star?
She left the bathroom, shoulders slumped, in brooding spirits.
She met Maude backstage and listened to the other contestants’ performances.
“You okay?” Maude asked.
“I guess.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I just helped Ira get over her stage fright. I told her she was sure to win.”
“Why would you do that? Don’t you want this?”
“Wanting something isn’t enough! I haven’t been practicing that long. It’s my fault, I know. Why didn’t I listen to you from the start? Ira’s got awards, she’s got experience.”
“You can’t go on stage with that attitude. I should’ve kept Ira away from you.”
“It’s not her fault. It’s mine. I wreck things. My family, my father, and now this.”
“Your father?”
Grace buried her face in her hands.
“I did something awful. I’ve never told anyone. I’m such a bad person, Maude. If you knew, you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me.”
Maude pulled Grace’s hands away gently.
“It doesn’t matter what you did. Nothing you could tell me would make me think any less of you. No crime, no misdeed. Nothing.”
Grace sniffed.
“Two years ago, my father caught me kissing a guy I really liked, but who he disapproved of. I threw a huge tantrum. Flung stuff in his face I shouldn’t have. Maude, I was so mean. Said I hated him, that he was a fat, lazy, clueless man. As I stood before him yelling all those awful insults, he had a heart attack.”
Maude gasped. Grace dissolved into fresh tears.
“He died in front of you? I’m so sorry.” Maude reached for Grace, but she pulled away.
“He lived,” she said sullenly.
“I don’t understand. Your mother said he was gone.”
“He recovered from the heart attack. He left the hospital and three days later he left us. Walked out of the house with a suitcase and never came back.”
“He’s alive!”
“Don’t you see? He left us because of me. I nearly killed him and he never wanted to see me again. I can’t even blame him.”
“Grace, I promise this is not your fault. You were fourteen. He never should’ve left. He’s your father. Your mother can’t blame you for him leaving. It’s not on you. Not everyone leaves. You’ve insulted me plenty of times and I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re just saying that.”
Maude realized at that moment how much she cared for Grace. It was more than she had bargained for when she had taken her in. Despite her frequent ill humor, Grace had a light that Maude recognized. Grace’s pain had buried qualities she rarely displayed: her compassion, her humor, and passion.
“I’m serious. Take a deep breath and prepare.”
“You really want me to succeed? What’s in it for you?”
“What do you think?”
“You’ve got loads of money, so you’re not doing it for profit. You’ve got recognition, so that’s not it. The only reason I see is that you’re crazy.”
“The only reason is you. You’re it. You don’t owe me anything. I don’t want your money, or even your gratitude. I just want you to be happy, if this makes you happy. If it doesn’t, you can leave now and I won’t be mad at you.”
The girl auditioning finished singing and Mr. Soderline called Grace’s name.
“It’s your turn.”
Maude squeezed her student’s hand, trying to communicate her enthusiasm. But Grace only nodded sullenly.
She went onstage.
One deep breath, followed by a second.
Grace sang:
Look at my life,
It’s such a bore,
I’ve got jewelry and clothes,
That could fill a whole store.
None of it matters,
It’s not real,
It’s not really me,
With more assurance and a steady voice, she continued:
They say that I’m sweet,
And they all adore,
The girl who has,
All that a child could wish for.
But it’s not enough,
No, it’s not,
I want more.
Closing her eyes, she surrounded herself with darkness, before starting the chorus:
––––––––
I AM MORE THAN JUST frills and lace,
I’ve got brains, a mind and I will state my case,
More than a girl who stays in her place
Because I’m more, yes, I’m more,
Than just a pretty face.
––––––––
AT THE END OF THE PERFORMANCE, Maude sighed with relief. Untangling her hands from her hair, she squealed with delight. Her heart could not recover from its erratic beat. It was more nerve-wrecking to watch Grace sing than to perform at her own concerts.
She hugged Grace once she arrived backstage.
“You were great!”
“You really think so?”
“I thought you were even better than Ira,” Maude whispered.
“Of course you’d think that. She was good. I’ve got to hand it to her. OK, shh, here they come.”
Ira and Julia walked over to them.
“Well done,” Ira said. She struggled with a smile. “You’re a serious contender. I hope I beat you.”
“I hope so, too. I mean, I hope I beat you.”
“Ira’s got nothing to worry about,” Julia said haughtily. “She’s got experience.”
“We’ll find out in a week,” Maude said good-naturedly. “You did good, Ira.”
“Thank you, Ms. Laurent. It means a lot coming from you. I admire your work and would love to collaborate with you. You’re lucky to have her in your corner,” Ira whispered to Grace so that Julia could not hear, but she was too busy texting.
“You say that because you don’t have to wake up at six every morning to rehearse with her.”
“I wake up at five.”
“So do I. Then, I fall back asleep.”
“Come on, Ira. You need to rest,” Julia said, as if the mere fact of talking to Maude and Grace was an arduous task.
Ira waved and followed Julia.
“Now, all we have to do is wait,” Grace said, biting her lip.