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Thoroughly stuffed from a fabulous steak dinner, we left the restaurant, where there was still a line of diners waiting to be seated. I gave their frustrated glances a slight nod. You snooze, you lose.
Shawn wanted to check out the deck, so we rode the glass elevator inside the ship so we could take in the view of the water. We were in for a treat. The sun was starting to set. There was only the faintest hint of the land we left behind, but ahead of us was miles and miles of blue ocean against a red-tinged sky. The view nearly took my breath away.
“It’s so beautiful.” I sighed. The wind whipped around my face, causing my hair to dance playfully without a care in the world. That was one gift of short hair. There wasn’t much to mess up.
“Yeah, my view is pretty spectacular.” I turned my head to see Shawn was staring at my ass instead of the sunset.
I felt myself smile as I shook my head.
“Hey, give me a few minutes in the room alone?” he asked. “I want to make it look nice. You know, for our first night.”
My stomach did a little flip-flop at the thought of being alone with him. We’d been alluding to having some sexy time tonight. Our first official time together. While I was very much looking forward to that, I was also nervous. What if I’d built him up to be this amazing lover, and it was like every other guy I’d been with? Predictable. Boring. Unsatisfying. Then again, maybe it wasn’t the guys that were the problem. Maybe it was me.
“Take all the time you need. I’d like to watch the sunset.”
“That should be plenty of time to prepare a space in which to ravage you.” He pulled me in for a quick kiss on the lips, then took off running, causing me to laugh at his excitement.
It was while I was pondering what he’d look like fully nude when an older woman with short hair similar to my own came up to admire the sky beside me.
“Isn’t this the best view ever?” she asked.
“Mmm,” I agreed, though I did wonder if I might see something better soon.
“I’ve looked out over this deck for the last ten years of my life, and it has never once gotten old.”
Cocking my head, I turned to look at her. “You’ve been on this boat for ten years?”
She chuckled. “Well, not this particular ship, but a cruise ship. And yes, I’m a cruise director for the line.” She held out her hand. “Shirley Waters, at your service.”
“Oh,” I said, taking her hand. “Waters. Funny. Nice to meet you. I’m Jasmine Fairchild—nope. Jasmine Maven.” I flushed, wondering why I had lied to her. I wasn’t a Maven, but I wanted her to think I was. Wanted to believe that in some universe, Shawn and I ended up together.
“Ah, a newlywed.” Shirley beamed, glancing at my ring before she let my hand go. “That stone is unique. You don’t see a lot of opal wedding rings.”
“Is that what it is?” I asked, looking at the ring. “I didn’t pick it out. My mother-in-law did.” I frowned. “Well, my ex-mother-in-law.”
“Ex? How is she your ex-mother-in-law if you just got married?” She raised a curious eyebrow.
“It’s complicated.”
“Oh, good. I like complicated.” The bangles on her wrist jangled as she clapped her hands together. “Your secret’s safe with me, kid. I’m an employee. We’re bound to secrecy about anything we see or hear on the cruise. Kind of like Vegas.”
The woman was presumptuous to think I was going to tell her my whole life story just because she asked for it. And yet, I found myself wanting to tell her. To get confirmation from someone that this whole thing was crazy. Maybe then I’d stop thinking about wanting to have sex with a stranger.
“Okay, to make a long story super short,” I said, “my fiancé left me at the altar for one of my bridesmaids, and since I paid for everything, including this cruise, I sort of asked if anyone at the church wanted to get hitched and go on a free cruise with me instead.”
Shirley’s eyes widened. “You didn’t,” she said with a delighted glee.
“Oh, I did.” I held up the ring with its accompanying band.
“Where’s the lucky fella?” Shirley looked around to see if she could spot him.
“He went back to the room to...um, prepare for our wedding night.”
“I see,” she sang. “Is he cute?”
“Oh, my God, yes. Like, insanely cute. And a few years younger than me.”
She waved her hand at me. “All the better. It means he’ll be able to keep at it longer.” She winked.
I couldn’t help laughing and hoping she was right.
“So, your new husband. He was ready to leap in and marry you? How long had you known each other before now?”
A fair question. “Um, not at all. He was a total stranger. That’s crazy. Right?”
She responded by giving me a deep belly laugh. “No, darling, that’s amazing. Life’s too short to be anything less than crazy.”
I felt myself smile. How wonderful it must be to be so free with such ideas. I hoped I could learn to be more like her one day.
“So, yeah, this random guy and I are on our honeymoon. But we’re not married. Not technically. No marriage license. Thus, not legally binding. Still. I got to have a wedding and take my cruise and postpone reality for a little while.”
“Ah, yes. Marriage licenses can be a speed bump.” Shirley nodded sagely. “But easily fixable once you return to the mainland. If you wanted to stay married, that is.”
“Right,” I said softly.
“Do you want to?”
I let out a long breath and leaned against the railing. “I barely know the guy. We literally met yesterday—”
“That’s not a no,” Shirley pointed out.
“No, it’s not,” I admitted. “I don’t know what I want. This whole thing has been a bit of a blur. I thought I was going down one path, you know? A safe, white-picked fence, and two-point-five kids and a dog kind of life.”
“And now?”
“Now, that’s all out the window. Shawn is the total opposite of Dwayne. He is exciting. Spontaneous. Sexy. But I don’t think he’ll want to marry me officially. Not after he gets to know the real me, ya know?”
Shirley took my hands and held them until I looked at her.
“And who is the real you?”
This was a pretty heavy conversation to have with a total stranger, but that seemed to be the theme for me lately. There was something liberating about talking to someone who didn’t know your life story. It felt therapeutic somehow, finally letting out the truth. “The real me is someone who gets left.” I sighed.
Shirley cocked her head at me. “How so?”
I shrugged. “Just that. I’ve been in one relationship after another since I was fifteen, and in every one of them, I end up getting dumped. Shawn is another in a neverending line of men that will end up leaving me. Which means there is something very wrong with me. And by the end of the week, he’ll see it too. He’ll leave. And then I’ll latch myself onto someone new rather than be alone and deal with whatever my fatal flaw is. It’s my pattern.”
Shirley nodded. “You remind me of myself when I was your age. I thought I was broken too. It didn’t matter how many men I went out with. None of them gave me that spark. That sizzle, you know?”
I did.
“Until I met my husband. He’s the captain of this ship. That’s how I got this glorious gig.” Shirley’s eyes danced in the dying sunlight. “He brushed against me one day in the grocery store. Totally accidental, but a shiver went through my whole body. And when our eyes met, I knew he’d felt it too. That’s when I knew the secret.”
“What secret?”
“I wasn’t broken,” she said. “I just hadn’t met the one yet. That’s why no one felt right. Because they weren’t.”
I pondered her words. Could it be true? Could it be that I hadn’t been damaged? That I simply hadn’t met someone right for me?
“Now, I can tell from your face the man you fake married,” she said, “he gives you those tingles. Doesn’t he?”
I felt myself nod.
“So, maybe this time, he’ll be the one that stays?”
“That sure would be a welcome change.”
She let my hands go and nodded to the elevators. “Now, stop spending time chatting with an old broad and go bed that fake husband of yours.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I didn’t need to be told twice. I was more than ready to feel him between my thighs.
