1 Pardon this highly unusual footnote, but I must break the Narrator’s “fourth wall” to explain that this story will be “tricksy” in more than one way. Kitty Cheshire does not like being narrated. She seems to be aware of my watching her, and she resists. At times her thoughts and feelings squirm away from my inspection. I shall do my best, however, to narrate a completely true story about Ever After’s most elusive character.

2 The Mad Hatter’s Haberdashery & Tea Shoppe defines teatime as “any hour upon which a clock might point a hand at a number–unless the clock has no numbers, or no hands, which is an alarming thing, and a case of alarms can only be cured by sitting down immediately with a cup of tea and perhaps a cookie.”

3 Here, for example, Kitty was blocking me from her thoughts and feelings so I had to guess by her actions and expressions. I may be wrong. Perhaps she just had gas.

4 I am sorry to say that Kitty is being misleading. She does that sometimes.

5 I believe that Kitty is fond of the sound of her own voice. Each day, she speaks strings of words till she stumbles upon her favorite. Today it is banana squash. Yesterday it was popcorn. Past favorites include elbow, haberdashery, inventory, and cantaloupe. Try saying them aloud. They really are delightful words.

6 I believe here she was expecting the library to respond, and when it didn’t, she felt insulted.

7 The Mad Hatter couldn’t really see her. No one can see Kitty when she was In-Between. But he was just mad enough to think he could, which turns out is very nearly the same thing.

8 You may recognize this name if you read Madeline Hatter’s story, which I narrated previously in this fine volume.

9 This happens a lot to Kitty. She sets up clever pranks and uncomfortable tricks but can’t quite manage to stick around long enough to see what happens. I believe she is plagued with boredom.

10 If it were appropriate, I would tell you that I wish I could do this, too.

11 From her frequent naps, you might assume Briar Beauty loved to sleep. Just the opposite. She stayed up as late as she could every night to avoid it and so was under-slept and apt to nap all day. Because her mother also has frequent and random naps, some assume it’s a hereditary sleep condition. But perhaps her mother is simply exhausted. She is, after all, mother to eight young sons.

12 At least, I think that’s what she was doing. When I tried to peer closer at her to see inside her thoughts, she hissed as if she could sense me.

13 At least, I assume she was eager to become more like her mother. After all, they are very much alike.

14 A Cheshire family legend tells of Kitty’s great-great-uncle who spent so much time In-Between that he returned to the Real as no more than a shadow. He still managed to play excellent tricks, however, by merging with other people’s shadows on the pavement and then suddenly putting his shadow hands on his shadow head in silly gestures. He frightened so many card soldiers they shuffled themselves.

15 The popular magazine EAH Weekly named Snow White’s kingdom “The Sighingest Kingdom in the Land, But in a Good Way.”

16 Snow White was unsuspecting, vulnerable, and just prime for a prank. So why didn’t Kitty play a trick on her? Is Kitty more sensitive than we assume? Perhaps Apple’s mother reminded Kitty of her own?

17 It is an interesting note about Kitty’s character that she was mostly unaffected by this sight. Upon first entering a room full of Charmings, people have been known to collapse to the floor, weeping for the beauty. Only ogres and half-ogre servants have proven robust enough to work at Charming Family Balls without breaking down, though even they get weak-kneed and apt-to-propose when face-to-face with Darling Charming.

18 If I was correctly interpreting Kitty’s actions here, then she has a most remarkable sense of smell! Hmm, I wonder if Narrators have a scent she can detect.…

19 I rarely see Kitty show any signs of fear. The changeling made her more uncomfortable than afraid, I believe. But one time, when I merely narrated the word Jabberwock, Kitty went invisible and didn’t reappear for hours.

20 Kitty was so distracted and happy here that she accidentally let this memory slip out where I could see it. What a lovely morsel.

21 Of course, you, dear reader, already know Darling’s reaction, as you read her story earlier in this outstanding volume of tales.

22 This was fairly simple to guess, even with Kitty hiding her thoughts from me. Whenever she licks her lips and looks up, she’s thinking about cheese.

23 Some might consider being Kitty Cheshire’s “almost-friend” a high honor indeed.

24 I don’t think everyone knows this, but Kitty believed it. I am certain she didn’t know about the kelp forest, as you no doubt do, having read Cedar’s story earlier in this magnificent anthology.

25 It is curious that Kitty runs off before Hunter arrives. Is she afraid of Hunter? Does she sense that he, like she, is a predator, and so she must fight or flee his territory? Or perhaps she simply doesn’t like the smell of soy turkey patties.

26 I know. I’m as surprised as you are at Kitty’s empathy and kindness. Kitty Cheshire, ever enigmatic.

27 The feeling was so strong even Kitty couldn’t conceal it from me.

28 But definitely more. So, so much more.

29 Whew! I did it! I believe this is the first-ever attempt to narrate Kitty Cheshire. And I have the scratch marks to prove it. Yes, somehow, even though I am a bodiless Narrator, whenever I got too close to her inner thoughts, Kitty managed to scratch me. Excuse me while I go search for some invisible ointment.