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ROBERT
Cody seemed preoccupied and unhappy that evening. I had the feeling we were getting ready to have a serious conversation. I tried to brace myself for it. I needed to let him take the lead; I knew that, but I was on tenterhooks, not knowing if he wanted us to become more than a hookup, or if he was ready to say goodbye.
The fact was, I wouldn't know what he wanted unless he said so out loud. Sure, we had good chemistry, but it was also easy to kid myself it was more than it was, and I didn't want to be over-invested if he wasn't invested at all. So I couldn't exactly offer to change my life for him, or tell him how hard I was already falling for him.
He didn't need that pressure if he was ready for this to end. I wanted more than a fling, but I couldn't presume he felt the same way.
I expected him to bring it up, but we were almost finished eating the wonderful food he'd cooked for us both and he still hadn't said anything. Apparently, I had to get the ball rolling. I certainly didn't want to go to bed with him distracted and sad like this. It would feel entirely too much like goodbye, without even the words to make it real. It would hurt, and maybe for no reason, when we could at least talk about it first.
"Maybe we have something we need to talk about, huh?" I suggested gently.
He looked up, meeting my eyes squarely. There was something brave about his expression, but he also looked scared. "Yes, we do." He swallowed. "So you're leaving tomorrow?" he said.
"That was the plan, yes." I had done all I could at this precinct, and even for Cody. Aside from reviewing and going over protocols with them, there wasn't work for me here. I had other places to go—as long as I wanted to keep my job.
I'd given Cody all the reference material and contact information that would help him if he decided to change careers without leaving the umbrella of the Shifters and Partners agency. If he wanted to work in law enforcement in a different capacity, or change to medical consultation, he at least had a starting point now. And he could ask for help if he needed more information.
I wondered if he would. He hadn't told me what he'd decided. Probably he hadn't decided yet at all. Whatever he chose, I hoped it would make him happy.
Even if he didn't choose me.
"You're not giving me much to work with here." Cody sounded aggrieved. He frowned. "Could you at least say you'll miss me?"
"I'd rather not force you to hear anything you don't want to." I swallowed, too. "If you want to hear it, then yes. I'll miss you." I looked at his face, and then thought I'd better level with him, or he might never know how much I'd miss him. My voice sounded kind of funny, but I got the words out. "I like you a lot, Cody. I don't quite know what to do about that. I think I'm falling for you."
Immense relief showed on his face. "Oh, good! Then it's not just me."
I could have laughed aloud. "You're falling for me, too?" I needed to hear the words.
"It sure feels like it." He got up from the table and came around and embraced me. Somehow, he got himself seated on my lap. I had to use both arms to hold him there, so he didn't slip off again.
Food was clearly not in the picture for either of us now. He gave me a soft little kiss, and then another, and another, and another, all over my face and neck.
"There will be logistics to figure out," he told me, calming down a little. He reached up, humming slightly, and fiddled with my hair, arranging it for me. "If...if we do long distance," he said, stammering a little.
"Sure," I agreed. I held onto him tightly. Something was blossoming in my chest, a big warm feeling. I felt like I couldn't stop grinning. It would be all right. We'd figure something out, somehow. If I wasn't the only one who cared, it would be all right. It would all work out—it would have to. He was going to be my boyfriend.
Maybe I'd better get clear on that first, though. I cleared my throat. "So we're both off the market?" I asked. "Taken?"
He nodded. "Boyfriends," he said, and his grin came and went, fierce and sweet and dangerous, before he kissed me again, hard and deep. "Or partners. Or whatever term works for you. But yeah. Off the market."
He kissed me again—then drew back, frowning. "Is the term partners...bad for you? Because..." He looked down at my chest, tracing lines on me with his fingers. I was about ready to get up and head to the bedroom with him. It was hard to feel anything but happy right now, but I tried to concentrate on his question.
"Because I lost my partner, you mean? No. That's a different sort of partnership."
He studied me as if he had more questions. Well, I'd answer them if he did. It just wasn't what I'd prefer to talk about right now.
"You loved him," pointed out Cody.
"Of course. But not the way you're thinking." For me and Jack, partnership had been like being siblings, with no romantic spark. I'd loved him so much it was hard to go on living after he died, but it still wasn't the kind of partnership Cody was thinking of.
He looked relieved. "I don't want to compete with him—to have to live up to him. I'd just like to be myself—and still have a hot boyfriend."
"Unfortunately, you have me instead," I said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Don't talk yourself down," he said, his expression surprisingly serious. "You're outrageously hot."
We didn't end up talking much more after that.