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Jimmy sat in his beach chair at La Jolla Shores, tipping a cold one, resting it on his pot belly between sips while half a dozen gorgeous babes pranced in front of him, nimble as deer; every one of them, Southern California, beach-bunny perfect. Definitely built for speed.
Silken blonde hair fluttered in the breeze as a long legged blonde sprang toward a volleyball. Sculpted muscles slid beneath smooth, tawny skin as she lunged and missed. The ball bounced past her, rolling to a stop beside Jimmy.
There was a God.
Jimmy picked up the ball and waited for her to trot to him. When their eyes met, he lost himself in two crystal clear, blue pools of serenity that left him speechless. Her delicate features couldn't be any prettier. "Whoa," he said, shaking his head and tossing her the ball.
"Thanks." She caught it and tucked it under her arm. Luscious grapefruits stood straight and firm above a trim midriff that flared out to gently curving hips. The cut of her snow white bikini offset her tanned skin. San Diego's finest. No question.
"What's the whoa for?" she said.
"Sorry. Don't mean to be rude and I'm not feeding you a line, but you are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on."
She graced him with a stunning smile. "You're kinda cute yourself." She sighed. "If you only took better care of yourself."
"What do you mean?"
She pointed to his stomach. "That little beer table’s not very attractive. Too bad. You really are cute."
He looked down at his gut and felt his face flush. He couldn't believe what she had said. He should have been pissed, but the way she had said it stopped him. Not mean. Sincere.
He looked back up and saw a smile in her eyes.
"Doesn't have to be that way," she said before turning and running back to the volleyball game, then calling over her shoulder. "If you really want to do something about it, I can show you how."
He sat dumbfounded. Not only had she shot him down, she had offered to help. He watched her cute butt wiggle back to the volleyball net and closed his eyes, imagining himself alone with her in a hot tub, sipping wine and massaging each other. He felt a stirring in his groin and stopped himself. It was embarrassing enough when she pointed out his gut, but if she busted him with a woody...
He opened his eyes again and saw that the volleyball game had ended. The goddesses sat together, heads close in intimate conversation, followed by telling glances in his direction.Part of him wanted to march over and straighten them out, but one look down at his gut stopped him. What the hell would he say? If she was sincere about helping him, she had to be sincere when she told him he was cute.
The beauties rose like a flock of graceful birds taking wing, fluttering down to the water, leaving the blonde behind. She looked over at him, smiled, then laid back on her blanket.
This is it, Hot Shot, Jimmy told himself. If that ain't an invite, you're a fat, worthless slob. He drained his beer, stood, sucked in his gut and walked over to where she lay.
She opened her eyes when he approached and smiled up at him.
"Hi," he said. "I never had anyone talk to me like that. What you said wasn't very nice, but I sensed your sincerity. You really think you can help me?"
Her smile broadened and her clear blue eyes sparkled. God how he wanted her. "Does that mean that you'd go out with me if I was in better shape?" he asked, feeling stupid, but not caring.
"That's a distinct possibility," she said, still smiling. She patted the sand beside her. "Have a seat."
Not believing his luck, Jimmy dropped down next to her.
"My girlfriends and I are really into taking care of ourselves."
"That's an understatement."
Another flash of perfect teeth. "We're on a special diet that increases lean body mass, burns fat and gives us more energy than we ever had before. It will make you feel so good, you won't want to drink beer or anything. You’ll end up looking great and feeling good."
"You’re all on it?"
"We were out of shape like you until we started the diet, then in a few short months we had great shapes and more energy than we knew what do with."
"What do I have to do?"
"Come to a meeting."
"Like one of those Weight Watchers things?"
"Oh no," she said emphatically. "I tried everything in the past, but nothing worked—until I found VitaLife."
"VitaLife?"
She reached into her beach bag, pulled out a card and handed it to him.
He took it and read. VitaLife Consultant—Terri Miller.
"Call me," she said. "We're meeting this Tuesday night at 7:00."
He thought he detected the salesperson in her. Maybe she was playing him for a sucker, trying to get him into some silly marketing bullshit. "I'm not sure if I can make it."
"That’s all right if you want to stay out of shape and miss out on something great." She smiled once more, winked, and closed her eyes. No doubt about the tone of her last comment.
A challenge.
––––––––
VitaLife had a small, modern office building tucked away in a cul-de-sac amidst acres of gleaming, modern high-tech businesses in La Jolla. Jimmy slipped in the back door of the small auditorium at ten past seven. Terri had declined his offer to pick her up, saying she had to be there early to help get things ready. He hoped she might go out for coffee afterward.
He took a seat in the back, scanning the crowd, hoping to see her. As soon as he sat, the mostly full hall erupted in applause and a tall, healthy looking, silver-haired man strode to the podium beaming a smile to the enthusiastic crowd. His eyes had the same clear sparkle as Terri's. The tanned, smooth skin of his face made him look way too young for a man with silver hair.
He held up his hands, stilling the applause. "Hi, I'm Seth Johnson, founder and CEO of VitaLife," he said in a TV announcer voice. "If you've never been here before, welcome to the VitaLife family. We want to be your family for life."
Jimmy felt as if he stumbled into a religious revival.
"We want to show you how to be fit and healthy using the most amazing breakthrough in nutritional technology. Through its state of the art, rigorously controlled, secret processes, VitaLife has brought your health into the next millennium. All from natural organic sources."
Jimmy half-listened to Seth's spiel about growth hormones, bio availability, Inulin analogs, cancer, heart disease, strokes, fiber, and cholesterol, all the while scanning the crowd for Terri, finally spotting her front row, center, looking up at Seth like an adoring teenager love struck by a rock star god. Her cadre of volleyball beach beauties lined up beside her. Same expressions.
Another round of applause filled the room and people scattered throughout the audience went up to the podium, each giving their own testimonials. All of them wore badges that said:
I CAN SHOW YOU HOW.
"I lost forty pounds of fat in two months and got off of three different medications," a robust sandy-haired man said. "Thank you, VitaLife."
"I lost nine inches off of my hips and fifty pounds in my first three months," said a dark haired, well-proportioned, middle-aged woman. "Now I date men half my age and they still can't keep up with me."
Titters ran through the audience followed by brief applause.
"Thank you, VitaLife," she said.
Toward the end, Terri and her beach bunny babes, each came to the podium with their own horror stories of obesity, anorexia, and bulimia. Every speaker had a healthy glow, and all had the same, crystal clear sparkle in their eye.
When the last of the babes left the podium, Seth stepped up again and announced, "Please join us for a complimentary VitaLife shake. Guaranteed to give your body all the vitamins, minerals, and nutrition it needs—without the fat. Thank you for coming."
Another round of applause filled the room, then people started toward the back of the hall where trays of shakes and glasses had been set out on tables. Jimmy pushed through the crowd, going against the flow to find Terri.
He spotted her up front in animated conversation with Seth. When he got close her eyes flashed recognition. She smiled, then came to him, taking him by the hand. "I want you to meet Seth," she said, pulling him along.
The silver haired man turned toward them, flourishing a smile.
"Seth, I'd like you to meet Jimmy," Terri said. "Seth's the one that started all this."
"Pleased to meet you," Jimmy stuck out his hand. Seth gave it a firm shake while his eyes searched Jimmy's. Jimmy felt as if Seth's steady gaze took in everything there was to know about him.
"It's a pleasure to know you," Seth said in a rich baritone. His gaze darted briefly to Jimmy's stomach. "VitaLife's going to do a lot for you." He smiled, glanced at Terri and winked at Jimmy.
"Think he'll make it to the winner's circle?" Seth asked.
"I just met him," Terri said. "I'm hoping to get him signed up on VitaLife's In-Shape system."
"Is that right?" Seth said enthusiastically.
Jimmy couldn't believe his ears. He looked at Terri, sensing eagerness behind the pleading look in her eyes. This was real important to her. Was it because she cared for him?
After drinking one of their shakes, Jimmy left the meeting with four cans of VitaLife chocolate and vanilla shake mix, and a video. He had to admit, it did taste good.
"One shake in the morning and one in the afternoon," Terri told him. "Stick with it and you'll see results quick."
"When can I call you?"
"Give the VitaLife a couple of weeks, then we'll go out."
––––––––
After a few days of shakes, Jimmy slept more soundly than he had in years, waking with fragments of weird dreams that he couldn't quite remember. Twice a day, he filled his blender with milk, a banana, and a scoop of the VitaLife. He found himself craving the smoothies more each day.
While blending his shake one day, he licked his fingertip, dipped it in the VitaLife and stuck it in his mouth. An explosion of flavor made his mouth water. Take and eat of this, for it is good, he thought, turning off the blender.
He poured the smoothie into a tall glass and drank it, savoring the refreshment. That night he couldn't wait to get home and drink his second one. He slept deep, waking up feeling refreshed and looking forward to his morning smoothie; this time half-remembering Terri in his dreams.
In the first week, he felt his energy level increase like a plane taking off. By the weekend he lost two inches off his gut and had so much energy, he started lifting weights and running. Fat dropped from his body like melting butter and his muscles felt strong and grew defined. He could swear that his eyes had begun to take on the same clear look Terri and Seth had.
Toward the end his second week, he was almost out of VitaLife, so he called the number for the reorder desk on a Thursday night.
"Good evening, VitaLife," a sweet sounding, feminine voice said. "How may I help you?"
"Hi, I'd like to reorder one can of chocolate and one can of vanilla VitaLife."
"Your membership number?"
"Membership number?"
"You don't have one?"
"I'm afraid I don't. I’ll give you my Visa number and we'll put it on the plastic."
"Who's your sponsor?"
"Sponsor? I don't have a sponsor. I just want to buy a couple of cans of VitaLife."
"You'll need a sponsor, then we'll sign you up for auto- reorder so your VitaLife can ship automatically at the end of each month and debit your credit card."
"I'm not so sure I want to do that. I'll just put these two on the plastic for now."
"Sorry sir, that's against policy."
"I'm trying to buy some of your product here. Spend some of my hard-earned American green. What do you mean, it's against policy?"
"Didn't your sponsor—I mean who gave you your VitaLife in the first place."
"Terri."
"Terri Miller?"
"She's one of our greatest success stories. There's obviously been some misunderstanding. Let me take your name and number and I'll give her a call for you."
Jimmy stifled a surge of anger. This was bullshit. He gave the girl the information and hung up. Ten minutes later, she called back, all apologies. She took his credit card order, promising him it would ship the following day. He ran out of shake mix Friday night and woke up missing his morning smoothie on Saturday.
By Saturday afternoon his craving grew, so he went to the store and bought a can of Slim-Fast, but it only upset his stomach and left him craving VitaLife even more. As the day wore on, a headache started at the back of his skull until he couldn’t bear it any more.
After a night of fitful, sweaty sleep, he awoke to a pounding head that six Excedrin made bearable, but did not extinguish. He tried drinking Slim-Fast again, but it only upset his stomach, so he tried regular food, which he promptly vomited.
Chills set in. He knew he was coming down with something, so he crawled into bed and tossed and turned, one moment miserable from sweats and chills; the next, agonizing over his twisting gut and pounding head. He somehow managed to sleep on and off through the afternoon and night. When he did dream, he dreamed of drinking VitaLife smoothies.
––––––––
He opened his eyes to sunlight. He had missed work, but didn't care. No way was he going anywhere feeling like this—except to the doctor. Stumbling out of bed on shaky legs, he went to the kitchen for water and found himself going to the front door where he found a box of VitaLife. He hadn't even heard the UPS guy.
On impulse, he opened the box, cracked open a can of VitaLife, grabbed the scoop and dumped the white powder straight into his mouth. His stomach calmed and his body relaxed, making him feel heavy. His headache diminished. He climbed back into bed and let sleep take him, opening his eyes hours later in total darkness. Fragments of an erotic dream drifted in his mind like fading smoke. He remembered something vaguely sexual with Terri, but with Seth there. In his room?
His heart jumped when the phone rang. Putting his hand to his chest, he took a deep breath to calm himself, then fumbled in the dark, finding the phone by the sound of the ring.
"Hello?"
"Did you get your order?" Terri said.
"Finally. What's with this sponsor shit?"
"I'm sorry, there was a mix-up in the paperwork. Give me your credit card number and we'll get you on automatic reorder. It'll debit your account every month and your VitaLife will be on your doorstep at the same time every month. Let's get this over with so we can make some plans for a date."
"A date?" Surely she wasn't holding this credit card shit over his head for a date. Did she have any idea of what he had just been through? He took stock of himself. Other than feeling a little groggy, he felt okay—but he did crave more VitaLife.
“This is the best way to get your VitaLife,” she said after he gave her the number. “No worries. It'll be there for you all the time. Just like I will. You won't have to go anywhere to get it. It'll come to you."
"Yeah, you're right," he said giving in, thinking about the smoothie he was going to have as soon as he hung up.
"Let's get together Saturday night," she said softly.
"What time should I pick you up?"
"Meet me at VitaLife."
"VitaLife?"
"We'll talk when I see you there. We'll go out after."
"Oh. Okay."
"See you then."
He hung up, went to the kitchen and made a VitaLife smoothie, savoring its sweetness and the growing feeling of satisfaction that he felt after drinking. Best one he ever had.
The rest of the week passed on a regular routine, two VitaLife shakes a day and a small meal at night. He felt better with each passing day. His energy level increased and he actually felt lighter. Looking at himself in the mirror one morning, he was pleasantly surprised to see that his gut had shrunken and his eyes had some of the sparkle that he had come to think of as the warm glow of health that Terri, Seth, and the other VitaLife people had. What would she think of him now?
––––––––
"Jimmy, you look wonderful," Terri said, when she saw him. She gave him a warm hug. Her perfume insinuated itself into his mind and went straight for his lower parts. "Look at you." She made a show of stepping back and giving him the once over with her clear blue eyes before giving him a seductive wink.
"I've been sticking with it," Jimmy said, a little embarrassed by her attention.
"How do you feel?"
"Great."
She gave him a wet kiss on the cheek and pinned an
I CAN SHOW YOU HOW
button to his shirt, then she took him by the hand and led him to the front row. Everyone greeted him with smiles that told him how lucky he was to be with her, but he wasn't sure he was ready to sit through another sales pitch. She sat him front row center, beside her. In spite of all the hoopla, he realized that the important thing was that he was with her. Now.
The childlike yearning that he saw in her eyes when Seth stepped up to the podium sealed his fate. Her rapt expression told him how much this meant to her. Shit, if it was that important, he could suffer through another "Ra! Ra!" session, then he could have her all to himself. "So where do you want to go to after this?" he heard himself saying.
A pained expression pinched her pretty face. "I'm sorry, I just found out that I have to stay late for a Winner's Circle meeting."
His heart dropped. "Tonight? You mean you don't want to go out to dinner?"
"Shhhsh," she said, dropping her voice to a whisper. "We'll talk about it after Seth's talk." She turned away and put her full attention on Seth, who spoke his usual homilies with liberal doses from his hundred watt smile. Terri listened, leaning toward Seth, as if taking sustenance from each word that he spoke.
Jimmy did a slow burn, not hearing the words, feeling that she had somehow tricked him. Was she going to go out with him or was she stringing him along to get him hooked on this stupid VitaLife Church of the Almighty American Greenback? He had to admit that he saw spectacular results in a short period of time, but if she was going to play him like this just to get him into the sales program, he might as well date a hooker. At least then, he knew what the deal was up front.
The sound of applause shook him from his reverie and to his horror, he realized that they were applauding him. Terri pushed him to his feet, smiling up at him, a dreamy look on her face. He looked around, feeling cornered by the sea of smiles. He waved to them and sat back down. His skin felt hot and prickly and his face burned from embarrassment.
"Jimmy's an inspiration to us all," Seth said. "I'll just bet you he'll be in the center of the Winner’s Circle in no time." He smiled and winked at Terri. "Now if you'll join us in the back, we'll be serving complimentary VitaLife smoothies."
"Come on," Jimmy said while they moved with the crowd toward the back of the hall. "Let's sneak away. You can miss one meeting. Come out with me."
Her eyes grew wide. "I'm sorry, Jimmy, but I cannot miss a Winner's Circle meeting. I'll call you toward the weekend. I promise."
"Yeah fine, you do that," he said, feeling his hurt flare into anger. "Go to your meeting. I wouldn’t want you to miss that." He pushed past the people in front of him, leaving Terri behind and kept going when he reached the door, ending up in the parking lot sitting in his car. Simmering. He slouched down in the driver's seat, torn between leaving and waiting for her to come so he could have another word with her. Maybe he had overreacted.
People drifted out of the VitaLife building, first in trickles, then en masse, filling the parking lot with the sounds of car doors closing and engines starting. The lot emptied quickly, leaving Jimmy set off from a small group of cars parked across from him. Terri's was one of them.
Jimmy crossed his arms and waited until the lights winked off around the building. What the hell was going on? Had there been a power outage? Not likely. An outage would have extinguished them all at once.
The whole building lay in darkness and people were still in there—unless they had left by another door. Why would they do that? He thought. And where would they go without their cars? Better make sure everything’s all right.
Half way around the building he saw a flicker of orange glinting behind the mirrored window. Pressing his face to the glass, he saw the blurry forms of people gathered in a circle in a large, dimly lit room. Dozens of candles burned on the perimeter. What the hell were they doing in there?
He walked the length of the building searching for a way in. Around back he found a steel door beside a shipping dock. He let himself in and worked his way down darkened hallways, past offices and rooms full of lab equipment, listening intently while heading in the direction of the circle of people.
Close to where he figured they'd be, he heard murmurs, so he slowed, letting the voices guide him until he found himself outside a heavy door with a fire escape latch bar. He leaned down until the bar bottomed out, pressed his shoulder to the door and eased it open a crack to peer into the room.
The first thing he saw was Terri's bare ass. He'd know it anywhere. He gazed longingly for a few more seconds before scanning the rest of the people, seeing that they too were nude. What the hell was it? Some kind of orgy?
They held hands, eyes closed, faces suffused with the soft glow of orange from the candle light, serene expressions filling their faces. Each and every one of their bodies, both male and female were perfect and beautiful, each with their own unique beauty; like a pantheon of immortal Greek Gods and Goddesses.
They parted, revealing the withered and emaciated remains of something that looked vaguely human. Flaps of powdery gray skin clung to its skull like some grotesque patchwork puppet face. Ragged chunks of flesh and tendon hung in strips from the bones of its skeleton. Powder white bones stuck up from its rib cage like tusks in an elephant grave yard. The stomach and innards appeared to have collapsed into a white powder that lay under everything like fine Caribbean sand.
Jimmy's first thought was that he saw a wax figure which had to be part of some bizarre parlor game, until the circle turned into a line that started beside the corpse. Seth stood on the other side of it, hands spread as if in benediction. "Take and eat of this, for it is good," he said.
Everyone in line knelt before the body, one at a time. Seth mumbled something to each of them, then dipped a small silver ladle into the pile of powder beneath the ribs and spooned it into the kneeling supplicant's mouth.
––––––––
Jimmy could barely remember leaving and had no recollection of his drive home. Only the terror. The first thing he did when he got in the house was to flush all his VitaLife down the toilet. Next he locked the doors and windows, pulled all the shades and took the phone off the hook.
His first cravings came after midnight; a tiny gnawing in his gut. He drank a Budweiser to quell it, but the beer only made it worse, so he tried eating. Nothing agreed with him and his craving grew worse along with the beginnings of what he knew would be a blinding headache.
After downing a handful of aspirin he crawled into bed, craving VitaLife more by the minute while his body threw its own tantrum; fever, chills, stomach and muscle cramps, interspersed with fits of vomiting and diarrhea. Three times, he picked up the phone to order, finally deciding to give in.
An operator picked up on the second ring. "Good evening, VitaLife," the sweet sounding, feminine voice said. "How may I help you?"
"I need some VitaLife."
"Your membership number?"
"I don't know it, but I'm a regular customer. I'll give you my Visa number."
"Who's your sponsor? We'll sign you up for auto-reorder. You won't have this problem."
"Terri Miller."
"I'll get in touch with her and get this straightened out, then I'll call you right back."
"But I—hello?"
He punched in the number again, getting a busy signal. He slammed his cell phone down.
The night wore on, passing into morning until he slipped into a fever-sweat delirium, losing track of time while drifting in and out of consciousness, never escaping the pain. Every joint in his body ached and his skin hurt if he touched it. Even his bones seemed to scream in agony.
The walls, the floor, his closet and especially his sheets and blankets came alive like dozens of serpentine monsters, some wormlike, others closer to snakes, writhing in and around him. Sickly pink and green slithering insects crawled over his face and down his back. One worked its way up his nose. Two giant fanged snakes burrowed into his gut, sucking the soft, fleshy entrails from his torso with loud slurping sounds. He felt the tugging as a physical pull deep inside him until darkness took him.
––––––––
He woke up in daylight with the damp sheets entwined with his body. His head throbbed and he felt weak. He had no strength and his body looked swollen and bloated, as though someone had pumped him full of cottage cheese. His beer belly stood out more prominent than ever and his skin looked like someone had dusted him with talc.
The phone lay inches from his face. With great effort in what felt like an eternity, he managed to call VitaLife, reaching what sounded like the same sweet sounding operator, once more getting no further than the need to sign up for auto-reorder. Looking down, he watched with detached fascination as the fingers of his left hand crumbled into white powder. He thought of his feet, but could not feel them. The light in the room seemed to grow brighter and he heard voices. Terri's. Seth's.
As he drifted into oblivion, the last thing Jimmy heard was the sound of Seth's voice saying, "Take and eat of this, for it is good. It is the flesh of a new and everlasting covenant."
Jimmy licked his lips, at long last tasting the powder that had become the sweetest nectar he had ever known.
Take and eat of this, for it is good, he thought with his dying breath.
And it was.
