Andy invited his friends and me over to unveil a new piece of art he had been working on. He ripped off the cover and for a moment I thought I had lost my mind. I saw the same picture of me but four times, each in a unique combination of colors. It was like the Fairy Council’s worst nightmare.

“It’s transcendent, don’t you think?” he asked me. “I’m planning to do this for all my favorite people in pop culture, but no one will ever compare to you.”

“Andy, if I’m honest, it’s not my cup of tea,” I said. “But then again, I told you painting canned food was a bad idea, and look what that did for you!”

I have to keep Lester home whenever I visit him. He’s convinced Andy stole his hairstyle.