En route to NY. Kept giving the flight attendant instructions as he was carrying me from the jetway to my seat. Watch out for that stroller. If you drop me I’m gonna sue your ass. Ooh, that tickles. Storage limit one hundred and fifty pounds. I could fit up there, don’t you think? Got a first-class seat. Extra leg room for my shrivelled limbs. People walk past wondering what the hell I’m doing here. He doesn’t need all that room, they’re thinking. Like putting a midget in a king-sized bed. I sip my gin and think, God bless grant foundations that favour minorities.
The attendant dotes on me. Pudgy yet cute. Her hip brushes tantalizingly against my elbow. Just doing her job, though. When her day’s over I’m sure she unfurls her hair, grabs a beer, and says Thank god I’m off that goddamn plane. People who act considerately are either faking it to work in their favour or they’re genuine, and usually dull. To my delight, more people fake it than are genuine. Fakery makes the world go round. It’s entertaining because we’re perpetually discovering one another. People who are genuinely considerate have no layers. That’s all they are. This is why I can’t attend the United Way fundraisers our department keeps sponsoring. Too much good for my taste.
Wow. Have I become a lightweight. Only one glass and I think I’m in my chair about to tip down the aisle. Must be the pain meds. Well, what better place to relearn how to drink than NY?
Might need to watch it, though. I won’t have any of the care workers looking after me. Could use a massage right now. My feet feel like they’re arching all the way up into my ankles.