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She awoke with a start, shaking, sweating, and choking on a scream.
Abby sat up in bed and panted desperately trying to catch her breath, to calm down before her heart burst out of her chest.
Her bedroom door opened and slammed against the wall. Smitty stood in the doorway, breathing hard, dressed in his boxers and nothing else, his gaze darting around the room.
“Doc, you okay? What’s wrong?”
“Just a nightmare.”
“Just a nightmare?” Both his eyebrows rose and he stared at her as if he’d never heard anything so crazy. “You have this nightmare often?”
“Every time I close my eyes.”
The tightness in her chest loosened a bit and she suddenly didn’t feel like she was drowning anymore. She took in a long, sweet inhale of air.
“How long?”
“Since I got home.”
“Damn.” He came all the way into the room, closed the door and perched at the end of her bed. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“I did?” She examined the expression on his face. “Did I scream out loud?”
“Like you were being tortured.”
“Oh God, I’m sorry. I didn’t think I screamed in real life. I mean, I thought I only did it in my dream.”
He stared at her for a moment. “Tell me about it.”
His request startled a snort out of her. “No thanks. I’m not saddling you with my demons.”
“Abby, you know talking usually helps.”
“Yeah, my head knows it, but my gut doesn’t.”
He regarded her stoically for a few moments, then said, “It’s the attack, isn’t it?”
When she didn’t answer he kept talking. “I dream about it too sometimes.”
Questions spilled out of her mouth unedited. “Do you dream about killing people? Do you dream about how good it feels to kill them?” The last word shattered as it passed through her lips. A sob followed it. Then another, until her composure completely crumpled into a rush of crying and tears.
Smitty was suddenly there, wrapping his arms around her, hauling her across his lap and pulling her so close that every sob she took shook his body too. He mumbled nonsensical noises into her hair and rubbed her back while she soaked up his strength and serenity.
Finally, she quieted. A tissue was pressed into her hand and she blew her nose.
“Thanks,” she said, tossing it onto the floor.
“Litterbug.”
“It’s my floor, I can be messy if I want.”
He grunted and kissed her temple. “Feel better?”
“I feel like someone ran me over with a tank, but yeah, better.”
“Remind me to buy you a tank for Christmas.”
“Ha ha.”
They sat for another minute or two, not talking. Then Smitty said, “I dream about it too sometimes.”
“Do you kill people in your dreams?”
“Sometimes, but those aren’t the worst ones for me.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, the ones that make me want to throw up are the ones where I find you in the wreckage, dead.”
She leaned away so she could see his face. It was as bleak as she was sure hers was. “Dead?”
“Yeah.” His arms squeezed her a little. “You have no idea how good it was to open your bedroom door a minute ago to see you alive and well.”
“Oh yeah, my eyes and nose are red and puffy. I look like I went through a carwash with my windows open.”
He laughed and tilted her chin up with one hand. “You are completely gorgeous. In fact,” he grinned. “I’d love to see you soaking wet.”
She opened her mouth to retort, but he kissed her instead.
His lips were soft and tentative at first, as if he were asking for permission. He tasted so delicious it lit a fire in her gut. His kiss drove the last of the nightmare aside, bathing her in desire and need. So much better than fear and worry.
She sucked his lower lip into her mouth to give him her answer.
He groaned and turned ravenous, his lips and tongue devouring her with a hunger that sparked her own. His muscles rippled under her hands and she wallowed in the strength of him, clutching him closer. But it wasn’t close enough.
Frustrated, she shifted on his lap until she straddled him. She rubbed her breasts against his chest and moaned as the contact with her nipples burned its way through her.
Suddenly she was on her back with him lying between her legs.
“If you don’t want this,” he growled. “Tell me to back the fuck off now.”
“I want,” she replied licking her lips, hungry for his taste. “Oh, do I want.”
“Thank God,” he muttered as he took her lips again. He nipped and nibbled, then soothed them with his tongue, over and over again, until she was wild.
“Touch me,” she whispered. “Take me.”
His answer was to nip and suck his way down her neck until he reached the edge of her tank top. He reared back and pushed his hand up and under it while she grabbed the edges and yanked it over her head. His hands went to her breasts, moulding them and plucking at the nipples. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”
“I’m not too big?” she asked, breathless and shaking.
He laughed. “You’re perfect.” Then he leaned down and took on nipple in his mouth, his tongue laving and tugging at it.
“Oh!” Shock held her immobile for a second, then she twisted on the sheets as pleasure arrowed from her breast to the deep ache between her legs. She thrust her hips up at him, hoping to lessen the pressure, but that only made it worse.
“Easy, sweetheart.” The words rumbled from his chest like a purr from a big cat. He sent one hand down under her sleep pants and panties, pushing them over her hips and sweeping them off. Then his fingers found her labia, massaging before one finger entered her.
“Tease,” she accused. “I want something bigger than that.”
“I’m not finished exploring yet,” he told her as he found her clit and circled it slowly. “I want to find out how to make you scream with pleasure.”
“Well,” she panted. “I do like to drive a stick.”
He laughed again. “That’s one of the things I love about you, Abby, you have a naughty sense of humor.”
She wasn’t going to comment on his use of the word love. She wasn’t going to think about it at all. She palmed his erection through his boxers. “I really, really want to shift into high gear.”
He closed his eyes and shuddered, then slipped off the bed and shucked the last barrier between them. He climbed back on the bed and between her legs. He kissed his way up from her waist to her breasts and proceeded to drive her to the brink of insanity with his lips and tongue. He drove her past insane when he allowed his cock to glide over her labia and clit, but not enter her.
“You feel huge,” she whispered to him and she searched out his flat nipples to stroke and pinch. “Give it to me.”
He rolled his hips letting the head of his cock tease her even more. “You want this?”
“Yes, I want it all.”
He centered himself and began pushing his cock inside her. “Yes, ma’am.” He pulled out a little and stroked back in farther and farther, until she was sure she could feel him in her throat.
“Oh God.”
“Easy baby, almost there.” He stroked out, then back in, in, in. He paused, his pelvis pressed tight to hers. “Fuck,” he groaned. He stroked out and in again. “Jesus, you feel like a vice around me”
Abby shook, on the brink of orgasm. “Listen up soldier. I need you to fuck me good and hard. Got that? Don’t you hold a thing back.”
Another slow stroke. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You can’t hurt me,” she told him. “Right here, right now, I’m yours.”
Her words broke through his restraint. He began to piston inside her, one hand supporting most of his weight, the other holding her hip in place so he could power into her without shoving her backwards on the bed.
His cock hit every pressure point every time and within moments she threw her head back as her orgasm rolled over her.
She came back to herself to hear Smitty muttering, “Slow and easy. Not yet, Not yet.”
“Not yet, what?”
“Want to make you come again.” With that, he began to power into her again, stronger and faster than before.
The pressure built quickly and only moments later she came so hard she screamed out.
Smitty jerked against her and groaned as he hung his head and shook. He sunk down onto her, his arms coming around her to hold her close.
She clutched at him and buried her face in his shoulder.
“Wow,” he whispered in her ear.
“Wow, wow,” she said, then giggled.
He laughed too. “Is it all right if I sleep here with you?”
“Yes, please.”
He flashed a grin and pulled away and out. “I’ll be right back then.” He rolled the condom off his cock and left the room for the bathroom next door.
“When did you put the condom on?”
“While you were staring at my handsome face.”
She thought about it for a moment. “Nope. I stared at your monster cock the whole time you were taking those incredibly sexy plaid boxers off. Couldn’t take my eyes off him.”
He strode back into the bedroom with a cloth in his hand. He knelt on the mattress and cleaned her, then he tossed the cloth on the floor and crawled up the bed to lie next to her.
“I’ve got special ninja skills.”
“Ha, I plan on keeping a sharp eye on you next time.”
“See, that’s the question I want to ask.”
“What question?”
“When can we do this again?”
She sent him a saucy smile. “That depends on how fast you reload, soldier.”
He stroked a hand down her face and gazed at her as if she were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “It won’t be long.”
She’d seen that expression before, but never on Smitty’s face and never directed at her. She’d seen it on the faces of the men she’d returned home with as they met their wives and girlfriends. It was the expression a man wore when he felt something powerful for a woman.
She was so not the right woman for Smitty.
She wasn’t the right woman for anyone, and probably would never be.