Hadley scanned the book with a grin. “Someone’s planning to do an impressive amount of reading. I approve.”
On the other side of the counter, Sandra Feller shrugged. “Might as well do something with all my sleepless hours.”
“Having trouble with insomnia?” Hadley asked. She’d heard it could be a long-term effect of chemo. Hopefully, now that Sandra was all done with her treatments, the side effects would fade.
“It’s the darnedest thing. I nod off just fine, but I can’t stay asleep. The cats think I’m nuts, prowling the house at odd hours. They’re like ‘hey, that’s our job.’”
Hadley laughed. “Well...” Movement in her peripheral vision distracted her, and she turned to see Grayson striding into the library. He wore jeans and a dark T-shirt, and his hair was damp, as if he’d recently showered.
He met her gaze, and a smile broke across his handsome face. Warmth spread through her as if she had liquid sunshine in her veins. They’d been spending enough time together that one might think she’d stop reacting so strongly whenever she saw him. But just the opposite was true.
She suddenly became aware that Mrs. Feller was watching her with raised eyebrows. “Mrs. Feller, do you know my friend Grayson Cox? We’re on the Watermelon Festival committee together.”
Mrs. Feller turned to study him, her green eyes shrewd. “I don’t believe we’ve met. Officially.”
“Uh, no, ma’am.” He shook her hand, darting a nervous glance toward Hadley. “Grayson Cox.”
“Violet Duncan’s nephew, correct?” At his nod, she added, “And quite a firebrand in your youth, as I recall.”
Hadley was a bit surprised by this description since Grayson had gotten away with his antics. Did many people know he’d been a troublemaker? Then again, aside from some fuzzy moments during her illness, Mrs. Feller was sharp as a tack. Hard to get much past her.
“Yes, I was,” Grayson admitted.
Hadley nodded to the tote bag on Mrs. Feller’s shoulder. “Want me to put your books in the bag for you?”
Mrs. Feller nodded, but before handing over the bag, she shuffled through the stack of books until she found the only nonfiction title she’d checked out. It was about the care of roses. “Do you know, Hadley, some Good Samaritan planted roses in front of my house?”
Hadley kept her gaze on the books. “Well, that’s... Are you happy about them? They’re not causing you too much work, are they?”
Mrs. Feller laughed. “A little work is good for a body. And you know how I love my flowers. I hope whoever did the kind act knows it was appreciated,” she said as Hadley returned the now full bag.
“They’re due back in a week, but you’re welcome to renew them online,” Hadley said.
“See you next week.” Mrs. Feller turned and gave Grayson a small smile. “Nice to meet you, son. Officially.”
As she exited the building, Grayson cleared his throat. “Does everyone else feel like she can see into their soul, or is that just my guilty conscience?”
She would have poked fun at someone else having the overactive imagination for once except that sometimes talking to Mrs. Feller did feel like that. “She is frighteningly observant.”
“You didn’t warn me you were sending me to plant flowers for a psychic.”
“And you didn’t warn me you’d be stopping by.” She hoped he hadn’t been planning to surprise her with lunch, which would be an incredibly thoughtful schedule conflict. “I’m leaving in five minutes.” Bunny was coming in to relieve her, then Hadley was meeting Becca.
“Me, too, actually. I’m headed to the elementary school, today’s mystery reader for Ms. Baker’s kindergarten class. Help me pick out a book?”
She gave him two stories and a few stolen kisses behind the reference books before sending him on his way. As she watched him leave, she sighed happily. A sexy cowboy who made time to read to small children? I am a lucky, lucky woman.
* * *
AT THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, Grayson remembered this time to ring the buzzer and went into the main office to get a visitor’s pass.
The woman behind the desk pursed her lips and stared hard, as if trying to place him. “Oh! You’re Hadley Lanier’s boyfriend, aren’t you?”
“I...” They hadn’t labeled their relationship, and, frankly, he preferred it that way. If he thought too hard about what was happening, panic came rushing in.
A little girl opened the door behind him, saying she needed to see the nurse, and he slipped out without addressing the woman’s question.
He waited outside Ms. Baker’s classroom for the teacher to announce him. All the kids were sitting in a circle on the carpet with their eyes closed; he wondered how she kept that many five-year-olds from peeking. He settled into the rocking chair at the front, and she told the children to open their eyes.
Tyler gaped in surprise, but Sam’s face radiated excitement to see him.
“Everyone say hi to Mr. Cox, who—”
A little girl in pigtails leaned forward to ask Tyler and Sam, “Is that your daddy?”
The twins shared a long look and answered in unison. “Yes.”
Grayson opened the first book, his heart full.
Again, he had that niggling sense that he was in over his head. When was the last time in his life he’d had so many people he cared this deeply about? He thought of the romantic movie he’d watched with Hadley Saturday night and tried to cling to her optimistic belief in happy endings.
Of course, for all her love of the hero winning the day, she also wrote suspenseful stories full of death and darkness. Life was both, the dark and the light, and you rarely got to choose which came for you.
* * *
A COMPETITIVE PERSON, Hadley didn’t know whether she was annoyed she’d lost at Scrabble or turned on that Grayson was such a worthy adversary.
Turned on, she decided. Of course, she’d pretty much felt that way ever since he arrived at her place for dinner. The last two hours of conversation and Scrabble by candlelight had only heightened her desire for him.
Last two hours? Try the last two weeks. Every time she saw him, she fell for him a little more. Part of her wondered if that was wise, but he kept making dates with her. She knew she wasn’t alone in her growing feelings. And, tonight, she didn’t want to be alone in her bed. The privacy at Grayson’s place was limited, but they were at her house tonight. She’d wondered if, given the opportunity, he might try to seduce her. If not, was she brave enough to take the initiative?
Maybe she hadn’t been before Grayson, but the way he looked at her, the way he kissed her, was emboldening. Leanne had told her not too long ago that Hadley needed to work on her confidence. Mission accomplished.
She carried the board game to the closet. As she shut the door, Grayson joined her, moving with that rugged grace she so enjoyed watching.
“I think the winner should get a kiss,” he told her.
She grinned. “That works out pretty well for the loser, too.”
He backed her against the wall, his mouth claiming hers. She was glad for the support behind her when he grazed his teeth over the sensitive slope of her neck and her knees went weak.
He raised his head to meet her eyes, but his hand continued to swirl distracting patterns across her collarbone and beneath the straps of her brightly colored sundress. “All of my blood is rushing south,” he told her, “so while I can still think straight, I just want to say...thank you. For dinner tonight and for everything you’ve done for me since I got here.”
“If you’d like to do something for me...” She slid her hand down to the waistband of his pants and crooked a finger through his belt loop. “Stay the night?”
He groaned. “I need to get home before the boys wake up for school, but that still gives us hours.”
“Hours, hmm? We can do a lot in that time.” She led him to her room, where she picked up the remote that controlled a trio of electric candles. She couldn’t wait to get him out of his shirt, to see the flicker of candlelight across the hard muscles of his chest.
He cupped her face, not kissing her yet, just studying her expression.
“In case you’re wondering what I’m thinking,” she said, “it’s how much I want to get you naked.”
He gave a rusty laugh. “Feeling’s mutual.”
Between kisses and intimate touches, they undressed each other with more enthusiasm than finesse, and she couldn’t stifle a moan of appreciation at the sight of his naked form. Then she was moaning because his hands were at her breasts, caressing and teasing. Pleasure sang through the most feminine parts of her. They tumbled onto the bed, rolling across the mattress toward the condoms in her nightstand.
“You’re sure this isn’t moving too fast for you?” he asked, double-checking before he opened the foil packet she’d handed him.
She arched her back, circling her hips against him in a way that made his breath hiss. “I want to feel you moving fast. And deep. And—”
He covered her mouth with a hungry kiss, then he was inside her, wringing more desire from her than she would have imagined possible. And she had one hell of an imagination.
His face was starkly beautiful in the moonlight as he held himself above her. “You feel amazing.”
She clenched around him as he found the perfect angle, and words were lost in gasps and ecstatic cries. When the first tremors of her climax began, he lowered his head to her breast, sucking until her body bowed in a devastating orgasm.
There was definitely nothing “casual” about sex with Grayson. He’d just ruined her for all other men, and she was too breathlessly happy to care.
* * *
HADLEY CAME AWAKE INSTANTLY, not because the soft rustling in the dark was much of a disturbance, but because she was so used to sleeping alone. The sound of anyone else’s movements was foreign. “Grayson?”
He smiled at her from where he stood at the foot of the bed. “I was just getting dressed and debating whether to wake you or leave a note. I hate to leave, but, unfortunately, the boys are early risers. The last thing we want is them telling their kindergarten class about my sleepover with Miss Hadley.”
She smiled drowsily. “Call me later?”
He came around the side of the bed to kiss her goodbye. “Of course. But since you’re awake now, you should be the first to know. After all, you’re the one who inspired me.”
Sleepiness gave way to curiosity. “To do what?”
“I’ve made a decision. You were telling those stories about your family, your parents, last night and I... I’m going to use that phone number Vi gave me.”
She sat up straight. “You’re going to call your mom?”
“I am. I don’t honestly know if I can ever forgive her. But I owe it to myself to try.”
* * *
AS HE ENTERED San Antonio’s city limits, Grayson fumbled through the armrest console for antacids. Nausea and doubt had been his road-trip companions for the past three hours. Had he made a mistake by turning down Vi’s offer to come with him?
No, someone had to stay with the boys. Hadley had to work on weekday afternoons and asking her to do something as personal as keeping his godsons overnight and getting them ready for school tomorrow felt like taking their relationship to another level. He wasn’t ready for that. He was still processing how incredible sex with her had been. How intimate.
A sports car zipped into the lane in front of him without using a blinker, and Grayson made himself focus on the road. He could wallow in self-doubt once he’d reached the hotel. The plan was for him to text Rachel after he’d checked in, and then they could meet for dinner. He would drive back tomorrow, but what time he left would depend on how tonight went. Would she want to introduce him to her husband? Would they have breakfast together before he returned to Cupid’s Bow?
Of course, both of those possibilities assumed that she even showed up tonight. The virtual stranger who’d given birth to him didn’t have a track record of being dependable.
It was difficult to tell from their short, stilted phone conversation if she was looking forward to seeing him. He’d called from the house. Seeing the number, she’d answered expecting her sister.
“Violet? Is everything okay?” she’d asked.
“Actually, this is Grayson,” he’d responded. “And we’re fine. Vi decided it was time to tell me where to find you. And I decided it was time you and I talked. Preferably, in person.”
“All right.”
Only the two words, uttered without inflection. She hadn’t volunteered to come to Cupid’s Bow, which was just as well. He couldn’t begin to know how to explain her to the twins. So, he’d said he would drive to San Antonio and asked her what the best night to meet was.
Now, here he was, checking in to a motel just off the freeway on a Tuesday afternoon. He didn’t even know if she was still married to the same guy or if she’d eventually had other children. What if she didn’t show up to dinner alone? Guess I’ll know soon enough.
He texted her that he’d arrived safe and sound, and she directed him to a Tex-Mex restaurant on the famed San Antonio River Walk. The tourist destination struck him as a little surreal. He hadn’t driven all this way to take in the sights; he’d come to... What? Find closure? Make a fresh start? Look her in the eye and ask once and for all, “why the hell did you do it?”
When he arrived at the cantina, the hostess told him his party had already arrived and showed him to a booth in the back. Grayson’s first sight of the well-dressed strawberry blonde made blood pound in his ears. She didn’t look as different as he’d expected. She was aging gracefully. Of course, she’d only been twenty when she’d had him.
She stood when he reached the table, but didn’t make a move toward him. A hug seemed awkward to the point of physical pain, and a handshake would just be weird. What was the protocol here? A fist bump?
“Grayson. You look good,” she said shakily. “You look like Bryant. He was a handsome devil, too.”
Not toward the end, he wasn’t. He’d been constantly disheveled with bloodshot eyes, a bloated face and a red nose. “Thank you.” He sat on the bench opposite her, and the waitress asked if she could start them off with cocktails.
“Vodka martini, extra olives,” Rachel ordered.
“Just ice water for me.” Although, if there was ever a time he’d been tempted to imbibe, it was now.
When they were left alone, she reached up as if to tuck her hair behind her ear, apparently forgetting she’d smoothed it all into a twist. Nervous habit?
“Times like this, I wish I still smoked,” she admitted.
“I don’t remember you smoking.”
“That came later.”
He knew so little about her. “Do you have kids?” he blurted. When she blinked at the abrupt question, he apologized. “Sorry. It occurred to me on the drive today that I might have brothers or sisters I’ve never met.”
“No,” she said softly. “No children besides you. Probably a good thing, huh? Not exactly Mother of the Year over here.”
That would depend on the year. For the first six years of his life, he’d felt loved and safe, which made everything that came after an even bigger betrayal.
“What about you?” she asked. “Wife? Kids?”
“I’m not married, but I have custody of two boys. They aren’t mine biologically, but I was close to their parents. They’ve passed away,” he explained, his voice so low it was barely audible.
Their drinks arrived, and Rachel grabbed hers like a lifeline, wrapping perfectly manicured fingers around the stem before gulping down chilled vodka. The waitress’s eyes widened fractionally, but she didn’t comment except to ask if they were ready to order.
“Shrimp soft tacos,” Rachel said.
“And a combo number six for me.” Grayson handed over his menu wistfully. Studying the choices had given him something to do besides make eye contact with the woman across from him.
Silence descended across the booth like a thick fog.
After two more slugs of her martini, she offered, “I was sorry to hear about your father. I had no idea he’d died until I ran in to an old acquaintance.”
“And that’s when you visited Violet?”
She averted her gaze. “Shortly after that, yes.”
“Why did you go see Vi?”
“Many reasons. To check on you, to mourn the loss of my own dad, to ask her about you living with me and Cooper. My husband. We’re coming up on our fifteenth anniversary.”
“But Vi said no, so you just took off again? It was Cupid’s Bow. If you’d wanted to see me, it would have been easy.”
“My sister knows you better than I do. When she told me what she thought was best, I respected her wishes.” She said it so matter-of-factly, as if walking away from him a second time had been simple. Hell, maybe it had been. She’d managed it easily enough the first time.
She’s not even sorry. Could he forgive someone who didn’t show an ounce of remorse over hurting the people closest to her?
“This was a mistake,” he said stiffly. He pulled some tens from his wallet and tossed them on the table to cover his meal. “I’m sorry I wasted your time.” Maybe she could get his dinner to-go and take it home to Cooper.
In one fluid motion, he was out of his seat and headed for the door. Behind him, he heard her tell the waitress to cancel their food.
“Grayson, wait!”
He stopped, but not until he’d stepped outside, where the cool evening air was a blessed relief. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“You called me.”
A mistake, clearly. He didn’t bother stating the obvious.
“It’s a nice night,” she said. “Why don’t we walk for a few minutes?”
They did, in silence. Music and chatter spilled out of the restaurants they passed, and he could hear the tour guide on a passing boat tell tourists about the area.
Finally, Rachel asked, “Would you feel better if you just yelled at me? Got it out of your system?”
Somehow, he doubted it would be that easy. “I’ve only been raising my godsons for a month, and I can’t imagine ever walking out on them. But you left me without looking back, like it was nothing. How do you live with yourself?”
“You can judge me, but you don’t know what it was like. I was nineteen when I met Bryant. I was still trying to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up, when suddenly I was pregnant and had to get married. It happened so fast, I didn’t get the chance to think about whether it was what I wanted. I moved straight from my father’s house to my husband’s. Then one day a girlfriend I hadn’t seen in a while called, wanting a bunch of us to go to Vegas for her thirtieth birthday. And I realized thirty was only a few years away. I was almost thirty, and I’d never been anywhere or done anything. All I had to show for my life was a husband I’d felt pressured to marry and a kid I—”
“Didn’t want?” he asked roughly.
“Didn’t intentionally conceive.” It was an awkward save...too little, too late. “In my own way, I did love you, Grayson. But I resented you, too. I’d hoped that, once I was gone, your dad would remarry. Maybe someone closer to his own age, maybe someone who’d always wanted to be a mother.”
“The closest thing Dad had to a relationship after you left was his affair with booze.”
She flinched. “I had no idea that would happen. Grayson, I know how melodramatic this must sound, but at the time I felt like I was suffocating. Not metaphorically. I literally woke up one morning feeling like I might die if I didn’t escape.”
That was how he’d felt by the time he graduated. Yet it hadn’t been enough to make him sever all family ties.
He stopped, leaning against a pillar beneath a pedestrian bridge. “Thank you.” Her explanation hadn’t made him feel any better, but at least he finally had one. “When I was a kid, I tortured myself with endless wondering. Had you been kidnapped? Had you joined the CIA? Had you been wooed away from dad by another man you loved more than you loved us? At least now I know.”
She sighed. “I know how selfish it is, how much I suck. Why do you think I kept my distance? Violet is awesome. Even when we were kids, she was the responsible one. My little sister used to have to remind me to brush my teeth. So I knew she’d make sure you brushed yours.”
It was difficult to argue with that; Violet was awesome.
She gave him a once-over that almost qualified as motherly. “You look well, strong and healthy. Are you happy?”
He thought about the events of the past month, the unexpected comfort of coming home and the bittersweet joy of hugging the boys each night, knowing their parents wouldn’t get to see them grow up. And Hadley. She was rapidly taking up a space in his heart that alternately thrilled and terrified him. “I don’t know.”
She nodded. “If you ever find yourself in San Antonio again, feel free to call.” The offer seemed more obligatory than encouraging.
“Okay,” he said, knowing he wouldn’t.
She looked for a second as if she might hug him goodbye, and he stiffened involuntarily. She pressed a cool hand against his cheek, smiled sadly and walked away.
He watched her go through blurred vision. Thoughts rioting, he returned to his hotel room. It was still and lonely. He had his cell phone in hand and considered calling Hadley. God he wanted to hear her voice. But she’d want to know how tonight had gone. Even if she was too tactful to ask, the weight of her unspoken curiosity would crush him. Talking about tonight’s aborted encounter would be like picking at a fresh wound when all he wanted was to let it scab over and heal. So instead he turned on the TV, crawled into bed and missed her like crazy.
* * *
AS HE PARKED down the street from the feed-supply store, Grayson blinked, almost surprised by his destination. When on his drive back to Cupid’s Bow had he made the decision to come here?
He didn’t know, but this felt right.
Inside the store, Ned was ringing up a riding blanket and rope lead for a customer. Grayson waited patiently until the woman left. Ned came around the corner to greet him.
“You’re back! Might I hope this indicates a change of heart?” the older man asked gently.
Grayson swallowed. “Is that job offer still open?”
The Cox family, his family, had built this store once upon a time. Now Ned was giving him a chance to be part of its legacy. Grayson needed a legacy beyond a father who drank and a selfish mother who just didn’t give a damn. And who knew? Maybe one day, the place would be his and the boys could be part of its future, whether they wanted summer jobs during high school or to eventually invest in it themselves.
Ned smiled slyly. “I took the liberty of crunching numbers. Just in case.” He gestured toward the small office behind the cash register. “Come, we’ll have bad coffee and talk shop.”
Grayson laughed. “Best offer I’ve had all week.”
* * *
VIOLET MET GRAYSON at the door. No doubt the dogs’ ruckus had alerted her that he was here. She enveloped him in a hug that smelled like cinnamon and vanilla.
He inhaled deeply. “You made me cookies.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how terrible was it?”
“Eleventy billion.”
She squeezed him hard. “I made a lot of cookies.”
He choked out a laugh, pulling back to look her in the eye. “I know you’re too damn young to be a parent to someone my age, much less a grandparent to the boys, but you’re the only mom I had in any way that matters and I love you.”
Vi burst into tears.
“Oh, hell. Please don’t cry.”
She wailed something he couldn’t make out, but he thought the words happy tears were in there somewhere. How long did they have until the boys’ school bus dropped them off at the top of the driveway? Hopefully, he would have his aunt calmed down by then.
They went into the kitchen, her sniffling the entire way, the dogs circling in concern. He almost tripped over Shep twice.
There was a tissue box on the far side of the room, but Vi just grabbed a sheet off the paper-towel roll and blew her nose loudly. “Crap, I’m a mess.”
“I’m beginning to think we all are.”
“I didn’t mean to dissolve into tears. My emotions are running high because I didn’t get any sleep. I was so worried about you, kicking myself for letting you go alone, and eventually I texted Jim for moral support. We were on the phone all night.” A hint of a smile ghosted her lips.
He grinned. “So that’s going well, I take it.”
“I’m seeing him again this weekend. Actually, he mentioned a carnival in Turtle. We could take the boys, give you space to mull everything over.”
He’d had his fill of mulling in the truck and in the hotel room, but he could use the child-free time to socialize with his friends. Maybe Jarrett and Sierra would like to go out with him and Hadley. Not only did Grayson truly like the rancher and his feisty fiancée, but their presence would also be a helpful buffer, dissuading Hadley from asking about personal topics he wasn’t ready to poke at. He should call her, let her know he was back safely.
He left a voice mail for her, mentioning his idea for a double date, then showered off his road-trip grime before the boys got home. They were a little clingier than usual after his absence, but their hugs and silly knock-knock jokes were a balm. During dinner, Sam called him Dad several times, as if the word was a newly discovered talisman that could keep away bad things.
I’ll do what I can, buddy.
While he was reading them their bedtime story, his cell phone buzzed. The screen flashed with a photo he’d taken of Hadley during the reunion. He hit Decline; she’d understand if he called her back tomorrow.
Sam smiled at her picture. “If you’re our new daddy, does that mean Hadley’s our new mommy?”
“But I thought Vi is our new mommy,” Tyler said.
Grayson’s temples throbbed. Mothers were the last thing he wanted to discuss right now. “Vi is your aunt. That’s another kind of relative, like a mom. She’s family, and she loves you.” This might’ve been an easier concept for them to grasp if Blaine and Miranda hadn’t been only children.
“What about Miss Hadley?” Sam persisted.
Crap. Why hadn’t he done more to keep a healthy distance between her and the boys? You knew this was a risk. Grayson’s relationship with her was still new—they’d only slept together once!—and already the twins thought the four of them were a family. Was he setting them up to be hurt the way he’d been when his mother left? Not that Hadley would ever behave so heartlessly, but she had her own path to follow.
Maybe we should slow things down a little.
Except that he was falling for her. And it was damn hard to slow down a free fall.