Kitty tried to read the book she was holding, but it was proving to be an impossible feat with Aaron sitting close by with his own book. It didn’t help that the drawing room was quiet. She used to think it was awkward to read while Gretchen was nearby, but this was worse.
She glanced over at him. He seemed as if he had no trouble reading. It wasn’t fair that he could concentrate on his book while she couldn’t focus on hers.
This was all her fault. If she had stopped reading that story about Louisa as soon as she realized it had taken a dark turn, Teddy wouldn’t have gotten scared. Then he wouldn’t have had nightmares all night. Kitty had offered to go with Gretchen, but Gretchen had said that when Teddy got this scared, he couldn’t have more than his two aunts with him.
Kitty took another look at Aaron. He was reclining in his chair, and his feet were propped up on an ottoman. He didn’t look up from his book. He simply turned the page and continued reading.
She sighed. She wished she could do that. After a moment, she gave up and closed the book, an action which made him jerk straight up in his chair. She would have laughed if he didn’t constantly annoy her.
She put the book on the table in front of her, stood up, and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” he demanded.
She almost didn’t tell him, but he jumped out of the chair and followed her. With a groan, she said, “I’m going for a walk. I’ll be out in public where everyone can see me. I can even go with a friend if it’ll make you feel better.”
“Oh no, you don’t. Just because Miss Britcher had a family emergency, it doesn’t give you liberties to run all over London. If you insist on going for a walk, I’ll have to go with you.”
“I don’t like being with you.”
“I don’t like being with you, either, but neither one of us can trust the other. We’re stuck together until you give me an heir.”
“Fine.” She crossed her arms and met his gaze. “Give me the blasted heir so I can finally stop being your prisoner.”
“I can’t just give you an heir.”
“Who else is going to do it?”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “No one.”
“Then why not just get it over with? I’m tired of waiting for you to decide the time is right. Miss Britcher let you know I’m not with child, so you are assured that I’ll have yours.” Frustrated when he didn’t answer her, she closed the doors to the drawing room and faced him. “Go on then. Do whatever you need to do to get me with child.”
His face went as white as the cravat around his neck. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not? You’re a gentleman, aren’t you?”
“Yes, of course, I’m a gentleman. But I’m not the kind of gentleman who can force myself to try for an heir. I need time.”
“Time for what?”
“Time to prepare myself for what I need to do.”
“What do you need to do? Maybe I can help so we can get this over with.”
He blinked as if he’d never heard a more absurd suggestion in his life.
“I assume since I’m necessary to have this heir, then I have a role to play in this, too,” she said.
He shook his head. “I have to be ready. Now isn’t the right time.”
“Then when will be the right time?”
“I-I don’t know.”
“How can you not know?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just something I’ll know when the time is right.”
She didn’t hide her exasperation. Really, what was it with him? Why did he have to constantly give her a hard time?
“Let’s go for a walk,” he finally said.
She rolled her eyes as he strode to the doors.
“Maybe you’ve been through this before, but I haven’t,” he said, turning back to face her. “I know what I’m supposed to do, but all of this quarreling doesn’t make me inclined to do it.”
“Well, I don’t have the slightest idea of what I’m supposed to do or what you’re supposed to do. All I know is that we’re supposed to be alone, and then something is supposed to happen.”
He shot her a skeptical look.
“I know you don’t believe me,” she snapped. “You think I’ve done this with other gentlemen, and there’s nothing I can say to change your mind.” She pointed her finger at his face. “You, my lord, are a terrible husband. Other gentlemen at least give their wives a chance before they assume they have lovers. But you’ve convicted me already without any evidence.”
“You’ve convicted me, too.”
“I never believed you had anything to do with a lady. You hate ladies so much that it’s impossible to see you dance with one, let alone share a kiss.”
He gasped. “Then why hire Mr. Stonewall to watch me?”
“I did that to show you what it was like to be watched by Miss Britcher.”
“That’s a deceitful thing to do.”
“Well, how do you think I felt? A married lady being told she must have a chaperone because her husband assumes she has lovers hiding in every nook and cranny of a room? I’m the laughingstock of London. Everyone knows about it.”
“They do not.”
“They do, too,” she said. “But, of course, you don’t believe me. You’ll never believe anything I say.” She let out a frustrated groan. “I need a reprieve from all of this. If I don’t get one, my head is going to ache.” She pushed past him and threw the doors open. “I’m going to grab my parasol. Then I’ll be ready to be escorted for a walk.” Not waiting for him to respond, she ran for her bedchamber.
***
The day had been the longest day Aaron could ever remember having to live through. The walk through Hyde Park had been nothing short of a nightmare. Everyone kept looking at them as if they were happy. At one point, they passed by an old couple, and after offering a greeting, he overheard the lady tell her husband, “Remember when we were young and in love like they are?” He had glanced at Kitty to see if she’d heard her, but if Kitty had, she didn’t give any indication of it. He hoped she hadn’t.
So many people had seen them together at the park. He hadn’t considered that side of things when he followed Kitty out of the townhouse. He passed a couple of gentlemen from White’s, too, and he could swear that one of them laughed because Aaron used to say he’d be a bachelor until he was at least thirty. At least thirty. And here he was, in his mid-twenties with a wife who was going to be married to him until one of them was dead.
There were a few children there as well, and that only reminded him of the argument that had passed between him and Kitty before they left. He knew he had to get her with child. He just didn’t want to. How was a gentleman supposed to be with a lady when he simply didn’t want to be? He resented it. He had to get an heir. To get the heir, he had to be in bed with Kitty, and that left him with a strange vulnerable sensation. He didn’t like being vulnerable. Maybe other gentlemen could be with a lady and not have it mean anything, but it didn’t seem like something he could do without it somehow affecting him.
But that was something probably no one could understand. He didn’t befriend gentlemen unless he sincerely liked them. He wasn’t the type who could pretend to like someone to gain some sort of advantage like other gentlemen could. He also didn’t hire any servants unless he liked them enough to want them in his household. He didn’t have any deep conversations with them, but he liked to at least be comfortable enough with them to exchange pleasantries. The townhouse ran smoother when everyone got along.
The only exception to his rule had been Miss Britcher. He never did feel comfortable around her, and as much as he hated to admit it, there were times when he felt intimated by her. While that made her perfect for her job, it was actually a reprieve to have her gone so he didn’t have to share meals with her at the table. Even Mr. Stonewall, as irritating as he could be with how quick he came to Kitty’s defense, didn’t make him feel uncomfortable like Miss Britcher did.
Aaron didn’t mind the lack of conversation. He didn’t mind that Kitty didn’t look at him. It was just nice not to have Miss Britcher giving him glances as if she didn’t approve of what he was doing. That had been especially prevalent in the past week. He didn’t know what he’d said or done to upset her, but it didn’t matter. Her role was to do her job, not to like him.
With a relieved sigh that the day was over, he changed into his nightclothes. It didn’t occur to him that he had to share the room with Kitty until he looked at his bed. He groaned. Of course, he had to share a room with Kitty tonight. Miss Britcher wasn’t here.
He glanced at his bed. He loved sleeping in it. The thing was comfortable. But he didn’t want Kitty to be in this bedchamber. Sure, she could sleep in the small bed Mr. Stonewall usually slept in, but he didn’t like the idea of her being in here all night. This was his sanctuary from the rest of the world. No matter how bad things got, this was the one place he could be at peace.
Well, that settled it. He would sleep in her bedchamber, but he wasn’t ready to try for an heir tonight. He would sleep in Miss Britcher’s bed. He grabbed his robe. He slipped it on then went to the door connecting their bedchambers.
Kitty gasped when he walked into her room. She jumped up from the chair at the vanity and clutched the brush to her chest. She was in nothing but a thin piece of fabric that went down to the middle of her calves. He jerked in surprise. He didn’t know why, but he had assumed she’d already be in bed with the covers pulled up to her chin.
“What are you doing in here?” she demanded.
It took him a moment to recover from his shock. “Since I’m taking Miss Britcher’s place, I need to sleep in here. In her bed,” he clarified before she started pestering him about trying for an heir.
“If you insist on being in here, then I ask that you be a gentleman and stop staring at my breasts.”
He blinked. He hadn’t been staring at her breasts. He’d been staring at the brush she was holding between them. Wasn’t he? He blinked again. Drat! It was impossible to think.
Face growing hot, he hurried to the small bed, doing his best to ignore the part of him that let him know while he had qualms about being married, it did not. Irritated, he yanked down the neatly made covers on the bed and plopped into it. First, he settled on his back, but realizing the covers weren’t thick enough to hide his erection, he got onto his side, turning away from her.
He felt as if she was watching him, so he glanced over his shoulder to see if she was, and sure enough, she was staring at him. Thankfully, she was sitting in the chair, thereby preventing him from seeing more than he should. He didn’t want to be caught staring again. “Why are you looking at me?” he finally asked when she continued to stare at him.
“You’re not going to sleep in your robe, are you?” she asked.
He forgot he had it on. “I can’t take it off if you’re looking at me.”
“Why? I’m not the one who has trouble keeping his gaze where it belongs. I’m the one who is the seductress, remember? It’s why you have me covered from head to toe in a thick dress that makes it hard to walk.”
“You didn’t seem to have any trouble walking at Hyde Park.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why were you watching me walk?”
He rolled his eyes. “I was walking next to you. You didn’t stumble or go at a slow pace. That’s what I meant.” For goodness’ sakes. “I’m exhausted. I just want to go to sleep. It’s been a long day.” He sat up and threw the covers off of him. Then he stood up, threw the robe off, and hopped right back under the covers. “Is that better?”
Without replying, she turned from him and started brushing her hair.
He had a perfect view of her in that mirror, and since she was no longer clutching the brush to her chest, he noticed just how round and full her breasts were.
At first, he thought she had done that on purpose. But then he realized she was focusing on her hair. Her gaze didn’t once flicker in his direction. She didn’t even notice that he could see her. It was as if it didn’t even occur to her that he might even try to get a glimpse of her in that mirror.
Something about the situation unsettled him, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint what that something was.
After a moment, he forced his gaze off of the mirror and turned back onto his side. He put his head on the pillow. It didn’t feel right to look at her. She might be his wife. By law, he had the right to look, but since she hadn’t been aware he had been looking, he had a moral obligation to turn his attention elsewhere.
He closed his eyes. Unfortunately, the image of her was seared into his mind, and all he could see was the perfect shape of those breasts. He wondered what they would feel like.
He opened his eyes. He needed to get his mind onto something else. He scanned the room. His back was toward the door and the vanity—and her. He had a clear view of her bed, the window, two chairs, and the small table between them, and the little room off to the side of her bedchamber. There was plenty for him to focus on.
So why couldn’t he get his mind off of her breasts?
It had to be because she was still at the vanity brushing her hair. Once she was in bed, he would forget all about them because she would have the blankets covering her.
“When will you be done brushing your hair?” he asked, keeping his face turned away from her.
“I’ll be done when I no longer have any tangles,” she replied.
“Well, how many do you have?”
“Quite a few.”
“And you don’t know how long it’ll take to get through them?”
“I need to be careful. If I brush too hard, I’ll lose too many strands of hair.”
“Surely, you won’t go bald if you brush fast.”
She let out an exasperated sigh. “No, I won’t go bald, but I will have a lot more strands to pull out of my brush. I like to make sure my brush is free of hair after I’m done.”
“Why?”
“Because a clean brush works more efficiently.”
He had no idea what she was talking about. He was able to comb his hair every day without any problems, and he never had to worry about whether strands of his hair got pulled out of his scalp or not. “You’re lying,” he finally decided. “You’re not losing any strands of hair when you brush your hair. You just want to stay there for as long as possible because you want me to suffer.”
A loud clacking sound came from the vanity, and it took him a moment to realize she had slammed the brush down. “You think you’re suffering? I’ve had to be subjected to your presence all day, and now I’m to bear with you all through the night. I really hope Teddy feels better by tomorrow because I don’t know if I can tolerate one more day with you.”
Appalled she’d say such a thing, he bolted up in the bed and turned to face her. “You think I like being forced to chaperone you all day?”
Her eyes flashed with annoyance. “Yes, I do. I think you get pleasure from watching me suffer.”
“I’m the one who’s in pain, and there’s nothing you can possibly know about it.” She wasn’t capable of having an erection that caused her entire groin to ache. He tried not to glance at her breasts, but his eyes betrayed him. He gritted his teeth. “Will you just blow out the candles and get to bed? I have to go to sleep.”
She gasped and crossed her arms over her breasts. “I can’t believe you’re trying to get a look at me while I’m not decent!”
“Why didn’t you put on a robe? I, at least, had the decency to do that!”
She gagged. “I have no desire to look at you. It’s all I can do to eat while you’re sitting across from me in the dining room.”
He couldn’t believe she said that. He was a fairly attractive gentleman, and that wasn’t just vanity talking. “That’s not funny.”
“I’m not trying to be funny.” She pointed for him to look away from her. “I’m going to forget about my hair tonight and just go to bed because you are being difficult. Stop looking at me with those lustful eyes.”
He tried to give her a clever retort, but the correct words didn’t come. He turned his back to her, and soon the light went out. Good. If nothing else, he would be spared from accidentally looking at those breasts.
He heard her move past his small bed, and though he couldn’t prove it, he was sure she bumped into it on purpose. Miss Britcher had been here with her for weeks. She knew exactly where this bed was.
Though the curtains were closed, there was a sliver of moonlight that snaked its way into the room, so he saw her as she climbed into her bed. She wiggled under the covers and settled onto her back.
Relieved, he put his head back on the pillow.
“When Mr. Stonewall returns, I’m going to have him give further instructions on where to look when you’re around me,” she said, not hiding the irritation in her voice.
“In that case, I’ll tell Miss Britcher to…to…” He tried to come up with something Miss Britcher could do to teach Kitty to be more like a lady, but he couldn’t think of anything.
“You’ll tell her to what?” Kitty asked.
“I’ll think of something.”
And he would. Surely, there had to be something Kitty had been actively doing to seduce him tonight. He couldn’t be completely to blame for the direction his thoughts had taken. All ladies were seductresses. It was in their nature. He was naïve. He just didn’t know what it was she’d been doing to lure his gaze to her breasts. She’d only been brushing her hair in an attempt to appear innocent.
Aaron, that is the most ridiculous line of reasoning anyone ever came up with.
He grunted and turned away from her. This was going to be the longest night of his life. He was going to be lucky if he managed to get any sleep.