“I hope the chain on this necklace is secure,” Emilia whispered to Kitty as the two friends stood to the side of the ballroom that evening.
“I’ve already tested the clasp twice,” Kitty said in amusement. “It’s secure. You have nothing to worry about. The necklace isn’t going to fall off.”
“I don’t know.” Emilia put her hand over the beautiful necklace that Benjamin had given her on their wedding day. “It’s expensive. I never realized that wearing something worth so much could produce so much anxiety.”
“I’d probably fret over it, too, if I had something like that. But it was sweet of Benjamin to buy you a necklace as exquisite as that one.”
“It was.”
Noting that someone was heading toward them out of the corner of her eye, Kitty turned her gaze to the person. It was Aaron. Her spine stiffened. She didn’t think he liked going to balls. What was he doing here, and, more importantly, what did he want with her? She figured they were done.
When he came up to them, he offered a greeting.
Though Kitty would rather whack him on the head for all the grief he’d put her through than speak with him, she managed a polite greeting in return.
“Good evening, my lord,” Emilia said. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” Aaron told her. “And how are you?”
“I’m doing well,” Emilia replied.
A moment of awkward silence passed between everyone before Aaron asked, “I was wondering if I might talk with my wife?”
Kitty didn’t know if he was asking Emilia this or her since he glanced from one to the other.
Emilia gave her an uncertain look.
“No, I’d rather not,” Kitty finally told him.
“Please,” he said. “I only want to apologize.”
“While I agree there are many things you need to apologize for, I’m not interested in listening to them,” Kitty replied. “I just want to be left alone.”
Aaron looked at Emilia again, and Kitty could tell by the expression on her friend’s face that she felt uncomfortable being in the middle of this whole sordid thing.
So Aaron wasn’t going to leave. She should have known he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Not wishing to put her friend through any more discomfort, Kitty headed for the veranda. He would probably follow her. But even if he didn’t, being outside would give her a moment to compose herself.
Up to now, she’d been having a pleasant evening. Seeing him had changed that. The most she could hope for was that he wouldn’t completely ruin it for her. As she suspected, he followed her out onto the veranda. She let out a frustrated sigh and decided to lean against one of the columns.
Without looking at him, she said, “I don’t care if people assume I’m out here to engage in some dalliance with a lover. I’m going to stay out here. You, however, need to leave. I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“I know you don’t, and I don’t blame you for being angry. I just…I mean…I know that…” After a long moment of silence, he continued, “I’m sorry. I was wrong to hire a chaperone to watch over you, and I was wrong to demand that you leave once you give me a son.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re sorry you won’t get that heir.” She turned so that she was facing away from him.
He hurried to get back in front of her. “No, that’s not true. I’m sorry because I now understand how terrible I was being to you. I have a difficult time trusting ladies.”
“Really? I never would have guessed.” She moved around the column so she was, once again, away from him.
He, however, got back in front of her. “It was my mother. She had many lovers. I wasn’t the only child she had. I just happened to be the only one she had with my father. They didn’t marry because they loved each other. I don’t know the details about their relationship. All I know is that my father did his best to put up the appearance of a love match. My mother, on the other hand, didn’t care to keep up the pretense, and it was a source of embarrassment to him.”
“I don’t appreciate being compared to your mother.” This time she moved away from the column and went to a bench.
She wasn’t all that surprised when he followed her, but she was surprised when he got on his knees in front of her.
“I know you don’t appreciate it,” he said. “I wouldn’t appreciate it, either, if you were to do it to me. I never once concerned myself with a love match. It didn’t matter to me if we liked each other or not.”
“Yes, I noticed.” She would have left the bench if she thought it’d do any good, but it was apparent that he was determined to stay with her regardless of where she went. She crossed her arms and sat back.
“Even if I didn’t find value in making an honest attempt to get along with you, I did find value in having a child. I just assumed that ladies didn’t care about their children, so I didn’t think it would matter to you if you were a mother to our child or not. If I had known having a child was important to you, I wouldn’t have suggested you get your own townhouse once you had a baby.”
“You didn’t suggest it. You demanded it.”
He winced. “I know. You’re right. And I apologize for that. I had wished for my mother to take an interest in me, but she never did. When she left, she didn’t even say anything to me. She just left. I think she only took the other children because my father refused to accept them since they weren’t his.”
She wondered if he was telling her all of this because it was the truth or because he wanted an heir so desperately that he’d say anything to get her in the family way.
But if he had wanted to get her with child so badly, he would have tried for one as soon as he found out she wasn’t expecting one. She had made the mistake of offering to try for one when they were in the drawing room. If having a child was the only thing that mattered to him, he wouldn’t have refused the offer. That had to say something about his sincerity right now, didn’t it?
“I don’t know what I can say or do to make things right,” he said. “I’ve never been in a position where I’ve had to admit I’ve been unreasonable.”
She looked at him in disbelief.
“I mean before we married,” he clarified. “Believe it or not, I’m not usually a difficult person to be around.”
She arched an eyebrow. Lilly wouldn’t be inclined to agree with him on that, but she supposed he was referring specifically to how he associated with gentlemen. Ladies, obviously, were another matter.
“I wish I could go back in time and do things differently with you,” he continued in a softer tone. “I honestly thought you were like my mother. I didn’t take the time to get to know you. I have no way I can prove how sorry I am.” He glanced at the doors that led back to the ballroom. “I suppose after all I’ve done, I don’t deserve a second chance. If I was smart, I’d let you go back to your friend and enjoy the rest of your life.”
He rose to his feet, and she found the last of her resistance crumble around her. Maybe if she was smart, she’d let him leave. Neither one had wanted to get married. It was only because of her brother that they’d been together at all. They could probably go their separate ways and be content.
But something in her warned her that if she didn’t accept his offer, she might regret it. She’d seen how happy her friends were with their husbands, and it would be a very pleasant experience to hold her own child someday.
“Aaron, wait,” she called out as he was walking to the ballroom.
He paused and turned back to her.
After a moment, she stood up. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to see if something good might come from our marriage, but I’m not ready to return to your townhouse. I need time to make sure you’re being sincere.”
“That’s understandable.”
“And I won’t have a chaperone or change what I wear because you don’t like my gowns.”
“I will permanently relieve Miss Britcher of her duties, and you may wear any gown you wish.”
She nodded. “In return, I’ll relieve Mr. Stonewall of his duties.”
She thought she detected relief on his face but couldn’t be sure if it stemmed from the fact that she was willing to give their marriage another chance or if he was glad Michael wasn’t going to be watching over him all the time anymore. Well, either way, it didn’t matter. They were going to have a new start, and that was good enough.
After a moment, she asked, “What do we do now?”
“Since we’re at a ball, we could dance. I don’t make it a habit of dancing much, but I know all the steps.”
“I don’t make it a habit of dancing, either. I prefer to talk to my friends and watch others dance. But,” she shrugged, “a couple of dances might be nice.” Especially since her brother wouldn’t be pushing her at every available gentleman he could find. “When we’re not dancing, do you mind if I speak with Emilia?”
“No, I don’t mind. I know a couple of gentlemen here that I’d like to talk to.”
She released her breath, unaware she’d been holding it. She walked up to him. Unsure of what to do, she hesitated.
He seemed to have the same uncertainty that she did, for he paused before he extended his arm to her. “May I escort you inside?”
“Yes, you may,” she replied then went with him back to the ball.
***
“I don’t understand why you didn’t go back to Aaron’s townhouse last night after the ball,” Emilia said the next morning after they had eaten breakfast.
Kitty glanced over at her friend from where she sat in the drawing room. Emilia was working on embroidery next to her.
“It’s too soon to go back to his townhouse,” Kitty replied. “I need more time to see if things will be different.”
Emilia considered her words. “I understand. You’ve been through a lot. It’s probably best to go slowly. You want to be sure he means what he said.”
Kitty nodded. Yes, she and Aaron had enjoyed dancing, but they didn’t get more than a few exchanges of pleasantries in during the entire ball. Which had been fine with her. She hadn’t known what to say to him.
“Will you see him today?” Emilia asked.
“He mentioned something about going for a walk at Hyde Park.” She wasn’t sure how she felt about being alone with him. Well, it wasn’t like she would be all alone. She wasn’t going to be. But there would be no one else to talk to. “Do you and Benjamin want to join us?”
“I think it’s best if you go by yourself. Benjamin and I will only get in the way. You two won’t get to know each other if someone else is around all the time.”
“We didn’t get to know each other when we were alone before.”
To be fair, neither one had been interested in getting to know the other. They’d been too busy arguing. She let out an uneasy breath. Was it even possible that they could get along for longer than two dances?
“I wish my brother had just let me remain unmarried,” Kitty said in a soft voice.
“At least you don’t have to associate with him anymore,” Emilia said.
“Yes, that’s true.” So far, it was the only good thing about being married. Her brother hadn’t bothered her once in all the time she’d been Aaron’s wife. “It’s sad that I don’t even miss him.”
“I don’t have any brothers or sisters, but I imagine if I did, I wouldn’t miss one if they were anything like your brother. I barely knew him, and I always looked forward to the moment when he would leave.”
Kitty giggled. “Yes, watching him leave made for some of the happiest moments of my life.”
Emilia laughed along with her. “I know it’s a cruel thing to say, but there’s no denying it’s true.”
“If it hadn’t been for you and Lilly, I might not have kept my sanity.”
“Should things not get resolved to your satisfaction with Aaron, Lilly and I will still be here for you.”
Kitty smiled. “I appreciate that.” It was nice to have two people in this world she could depend on regardless of what happened.
Kitty took a deep breath and released it. No matter how hard she tried, her stomach kept twisting up into knots. When she agreed to take a walk with Aaron today, she had no idea this morning would be spent in such anxiety. She didn’t know what to expect, and that uncertainty made her wonder if she was doing the right thing.
There’s nothing to it, Kitty. If things don’t go well, you never have to see him again. You’re not bound to him anymore. You have your dowry. You can get your own townhouse if you wish. You never have to go live with him again if you don’t want to.
The reminder helped to settle her nerves. She was under no obligation to live with Aaron again. She had a choice in the matter this time. Regardless of what happened, she had control over her future. And she would choose the option that was best for her.