Kit left Flora a street away from the villa, so she could walk the rest of the way as if she were coming up from Maudie’s pension. They had called there, but the concierge said the two ladies were out. There was now no time to explain to them how the snow had prevented their return.
When Flora climbed the steps to the villa, a nurse was standing in the doorway. ‘There you are… we were so worried. Matron wants to see you. Where on earth have you been?’
‘It’s a long story,’ Flora replied, sweeping past her. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on Miss Burke’s door, hoping against hope her story would hold.
‘Ah, Garvie, sit down. Thank goodness you are returned to us intact… An hour longer and we would have informed the gendarmerie. Where have you been?’
Flora could not look her in the face. The lies stuck in her throat as she coughed. ‘As I told you…’
‘Oh yes, a farewell visit to Miss Wallace and Miss Buckle. Let me stop you right there. Those two friends of yours came looking for you yesterday because they were leaving shortly for Monaco, unaware, it seems, that you had made plans with them. I’m afraid that little excuse won’t suffice. Whereabouts exactly did you spend last night?’ Her tone hardened.
‘I went for the day into the hills for some fresh air and the views on the train des pignes, but the snow came down suddenly and there was no return train. The stationmaster took pity on me and gave me shelter.’
‘So, you went alone, unchaperoned?’ Matron eyed her with suspicion.
‘Not exactly, Captain Carlyle chaperoned me. He was my brother’s best friend.’
‘You spent the night alone with him?’
‘There was no option, as I said. The train was delayed, but Monsieur Laurent will vouch for us.’
‘I’m sure he will. Did you tell him you were unmarried?’
Flora hesitated. ‘He assumed we were man and wife.’ Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
‘And are you man and wife?’
‘No, Matron,’ Flora bowed her head. ‘We have plans to marry.’ This was the best she could offer.
‘I see…’ Matron took off her glasses with a sigh. ‘I am very disappointed in you, Garvie. I did not expect such deception from one of my VADs. We look for high standards from all our staff and you have clearly let yours slip. An assignation with an officer is a serious misdemeanour and strictly against the rules, as you well know. I therefore have no alternative but to ask you to pack your bags immediately. You will be escorted to the next northern-bound train. From there you will go to HQ in London, where your contract will be terminated and you will be dismissed. What a waste of talent.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Flora croaked, tears welling up.
‘Sorry is not good enough, Garvie. You should have thought of that when you were making plans to deceive us all here. What a poor example you have shown to the other girls. You were sent here to convalesce and to help. You were in a position of trust. We cannot condone behaviour like yours, especially not with a man of the cloth. You are dismissed forthwith. Please leave your uniform behind. You are not fit to wear it.’ Matron pointed to the door.
Flora fled to her room in tears of shame and frustration. Once there she folded her uniform and left it on the bed. Still wearing the clothes from last night, she shoved all the rest of her belongings into a valise. The only thing she did was pull out a postcard and a stamp so she could write to Kit. This, she would post at the station. The other nurses stood along the stairs, faces shocked at her dismissal. Someone touched her arm. ‘We’ll miss you, Flora. You were so kind to me.’
Flora couldn’t speak, or look at her colleagues, for the shame she was feeling. Transport was waiting and the two nurses who were going back north escorted her to the station like wardresses. There wasn’t even time to post Kit’s card, no time for a backward glance as they mounted the train for Lyon and then onwards to Paris and the boat train to London.
Flora couldn’t sleep or eat for embarrassment and anger. It wasn’t fair. She loved a man and for that she must sacrifice everything. To be heading home in disgrace choked her. How could her life be turned upside down in just one day?
*
Kit couldn’t wait to see Flora again, but thought better of seeking her out. He prayed that Matron had accepted the explanation of her absence but he would learn more at the Sunday church service. To his surprise, Flora was not in the congregation in the little Protestant chapel, but he tried to look for her just in case he’d missed her. At the end of the service, to his surprise, Miss Burke took him aside.
‘I want a word with you, Padre.’ Her tone was sharp. ‘I think it’s disgraceful that a man of the cloth should dishonour one of my nurses. What have you to say for yourself, Captain Carlyle?’
‘I’m sorry, what is this about?’ Kit felt the first stirrings of alarm.
‘You put Miss Garvie in a very compromising position last week. I know what happened and it won’t do. I’ve reported you to higher authorities. I can have no such behaviour on my watch.’
‘Miss Garvie and I are to marry shortly,’ he replied. ‘We wanted to meet in private, to discuss our future. But you keep your charges on such a tight rein, it’s not surprising we had to use subterfuge. We have known each other since childhood.’ Kit shook his head, hoping this would calm her obvious fury.
‘I’m sure you have, but that is no excuse for philandering behind my back. It is not honest. Attachments of this kind are not permitted. You have flouted the rules.’
‘What does Miss Garvie have to say?’ Kit was trying to stay calm.
‘Garvie has been dismissed, of course. We have standards to uphold and she knowingly broke them.’
‘I must speak to her. All this is my fault.’ Kit felt sick.
‘She is halfway back to Scotland by now. I doubt if she ever wants to see you again. You have ruined her promising career as a qualified nurse.’
‘Is that so? Miss Garvie and I made plans for the future and they did not include nursing,’ Kit replied, sensing worse was to follow.
‘I doubt if the Church authorities will permit you to follow your vocation once they’ve been informed of your loose behaviour.’
‘Who cares what they think? Flora is all I care for now. As far as you are all concerned, you can go to hell.’ Kit stormed away, throwing off his clerical robe in disgust. Who were they to judge?
Back in his room he poured a large glass of whisky and wrote a rambling letter to Flora, but when he read it, he crushed it in his palm. It was a self-pitying rant.
Later, he went down to the mess. There was silence at the dining table. Pogo Latimer stood up, shouting across the table. ‘I say, Padre, who’s been a naughty boy? Got a poor nurse into trouble and here we all were thinking you the white hen that never laid away.’
‘Go boil your head,’ Kit snarled in broad Glaswegian.
‘Oh dear, scratch a Scotsman and there’s no gentleman underneath, only peasant stock,’ Latimer continued.
Kit jumped up to thump him but his friend, Major Fox, held him back. ‘Carlyle, calm yourself, you’re drunk.’ Kit left the dining room and stormed out of the hotel onto the promenade and down to the beach. What have I done? What’s wrong with me? Why do you get it so wrong? Fergus, Bertie and now Flora have gone. His mind was in turmoil as he tried to put his thoughts into some sort of order. How he had miscalculated everything. All that was beginning to be so wonderful in his life now lay in tatters at his feet. He had been impatient to secure Flora’s love, desperate to be alone with her. She had risked her reputation to please him and now the poor girl had been sent home in disgrace. It was all his doing. He was supposed to set an example, but now the other officers were laughing at him.
He stared out over the gun-metal sea. I am no use to anyone. Flora must hate me, my church will disown me, Muriel and Andrew will despise me. Who cares if I live or die? Standing at the edge of the shore, searching the rolling waves for an answer, how easy it would be, he thought, how easy just to walk in there, to end it once and for all.
Then he recalled Sam O’Keeffe’s words. ‘There’s one way out, Carlyle… over the top and out like a light… You’re quite the martyr and death will release you from your obligations: to church, to the girl back home, the lot…’ Kit sat on the wet sand, deep in thought.
Was it better to be a coward for a minute, than dead for the rest of your life? Where had he heard that? In his haze of whisky and confusion, he could see no future; his life was hurting those he loved the most. He must set them free, Flora and the others, free to forget him. He had shamed Flora, betrayed Muriel, let down his church and his calling. There had to be a doorway out of this mess, but where was the key to unlock it?