Flora was due leave and had packed her bag. Her rescued mothers were settled in and ready to deliver.
‘I’ve had some bad news but I have a nursing friend in the city. It would help to spend a few days with her, if it is permitted,’ she said to Elisabeth.
‘I’m sorry to hear that. Of course you can take a short break. We’re waiting for a contingent of nurses from Switzerland, but we can spare you for a few days.’
Flora caught the train into Perpignan, drawing funds from her account and depositing her luggage at the hotel by the cathedral. She wired Maudie with news of her leave, hoping they could meet up soon. It was such a relief to get a reply saying Maudie was free, and could be there within hours. Flora flung herself into her arms, trying not to cry with relief.
‘You won’t believe what I have to tell you!’
‘Calm down, Flo, what’s happened?’
‘Let’s go somewhere. I need a gin, and a large one at that.’ Flora grabbed her handbag and almost shoved Maudie out of the door. Once they were settled in a smart café, Flora took out her hankie. ‘You won’t believe who I have just seen. I’m so furious, after all these years. I can’t breathe. I’m still in shock…’
‘Whoa… whoa, slow down. Who’re you talking about?’
‘Kristian Carlyle. I saw him in the camp. He’s been alive all these years, here in France!’
Maudie took off her spectacles to wipe them. ‘Are you sure? There must be a mistake, a resemblance, perhaps?’
‘No mistake; he was driving a lorry full of refugee children out of the camp. I was escorting two pregnant mothers in the hostel truck to Brouilla. There he was in a queue, laughing, smoking and then he turned his head and saw me. The shock on his face. He tried to drive on, but I stood in front of the vehicle. How dare he try to evade me… All he said was “sorry”. I wanted to kill him. Pretending to be dead indeed! For heaven’s sake, his name is etched in gold on the war memorial.’ Flora began to weep. ‘How could he do this to me?’
Maudie leaned over to hug her. ‘I’m so sorry. It’s hard to take in. What’s he been up to all this time?’
‘Who knows. I never want to see his face again and I want to go home.’ Flora was trembling. ‘I’ve mourned his loss down the years, wondering if he intended to lose his life. Here I was, feeling guilty that my love wasn’t enough for him, and all this time the coward was living the life of Riley in the Riviera sunshine.’
The waiter brought their drinks and Flora gulped hers down. ‘I’ll have another,’ she said.
Maudie stayed her hand. ‘Calm down, Flo. Kit was never a coward in the battlefield, you and I know that. Something must have happened to make him do such a despicable thing to you, to Muriel, his minister and his church. Thank the Lord there’s none of his family alive. You told me Aunt Jessie had died. Now he’s helping out, like you. Kit was always kind and thoughtful, with a strong sense of duty.’
‘How can you say such a thing?’ Flora snapped.
‘Because now he’s seen you, he’ll want to make his peace, if I know him. He owes you that,’ Maudie replied.
‘How do you know? After twenty years, how can I speak to him again? He’s a stranger and I can’t bear to think what an ass I made of myself in front of him.’
‘He can’t have changed that much, if you recognised him.’ Maudie wanted details and shoved another glass of something sweet and strong into her hand.
‘Oh, he’s changed all right. He looked rougher, with a gingery stubble that didn’t hide the scar on his cheek. His hair is still auburn but greyer, his eyes that peculiar blue, eyes never change, do they?’
‘And feelings don’t change easily. I still think of Olive and wonder where she is in the world. You must hear him out.’
‘Never, I would only spit in his face…’ Flora flung her arm out and spilled her glass. ‘Now look what he’s made me do…’
Maudie mopped away the spillage. ‘Flora Lamont, listen to me. I’ll say it again. He owes you an explanation. He may be ashamed to face you again, but he’s an honourable man of the cloth.’
‘Not anymore,’ Flora interrupted. ‘I saw no dog collar round his neck. Why are you taking his side?’ She didn’t want to hear Maudie’s defence of the man who had wounded her heart.
‘Because…’ Maudie paused. ‘Let me tell you that, if it were my brother Bertie who came back from the dead, I’d forgive him, whatever he had done. To see him in the flesh, full of life, would be such a joy, a chance to take him back home. You don’t know how lucky you are. A man you thought lost for ever is still living and close at hand; a man you once loved has come back into your life…’
‘But he’s not come back to me, or sought me out. He went his own merry way without a thought for any of us left behind.’
‘You don’t know that. Perhaps you are meant to find each other again. You told me you came back here because something called you. He has found his way here, too. Don’t you think that’s a strange quirk of fate? Perhaps it is a gift. I’d seize it with both hands. I don’t know if forgiveness is possible, but give love a chance…’
‘Love! How dare you use that word! There was no love in what he did. I could never trust him again,’ Flora argued.
‘Then forgive him, go back home and forget him. You have a choice.’
‘I can’t leave yet. There’s too much to do here and I have commitments to the maternity hostel.’
‘And I guess so has he, commitment to whatever charity he is working for… The camps are huge, full of desperate people. You might never come across him again. Does he even know where you’re based?’
‘No!’
‘There you go. He might remove himself, like you, far away, then you’ll both be left with regrets and unfinished business.’
Flora jumped up to leave. ‘I didn’t come here to listen to this. I thought you would sympathise and support me.’
‘Sit down,’ Maudie ordered. ‘Bitterness is not your style. You’re my oldest living friend. I know enough about you to know you are strong. Kit has done you a great wrong. Give him a chance to ask for your mercy.’
Flora gazed down at her empty glass. ‘I was hoping you’d see things from my point of view. You obviously don’t…’
‘Please let’s not fall out about this. I’m your friend and I’m telling the truth as I see it, with love and affection for you both. I know these are hard words to swallow, but if I say only what you want to hear, I wouldn’t be true to our friendship.’
Flora looked away. How could she doubt Maudie’s sincerity? She was the bridesmaid who had stepped in when Vera wouldn’t show up, the friend who held her hand when Ivo died. Her words made sense, but it was hard to swallow them. Running away was no solution. It left so many unanswered questions. She was here to help in terrible times and that must come first, Kit or no Kit. Had the will of divine providence brought them face to face for a reason?
If he turned up again, she was not sure how she would respond. The hurt was raw, unsettling, shocking, but it would be borne. As for forgiveness, that was another matter.
Flora drank the last dregs from her glass and looked Maudie in the face. ‘So, what shall I do now?’
‘I don’t know…’ came the reply. ‘Only your heart can tell you that.’