chapter nine

flunk!

I had two more weeks of classes in Flagstaff, and then the school year was done. Track season ended, the one good part of school. I was named “All-Around Best in Track,” but getting that award didn’t make me any friends like I was hoping it would. Some kids accused me of cheating and said that I’d gotten some weird Navajo magic from a medicine man. How can anyone cheat at track? And there’s nothing weird or magic about medicine men.

In the hall by the lockers, girls clustered in tight bunches, already jabbering about the summer ahead, giggling, making plans, exchanging cell phone numbers. That left me out. The cell phone service on the Rez was intermittent and unreliable. Most of the time I had to stand on top of a sand dune near our house to get reception. Even then, I could text but not talk. Internet meant a trip to Tuba City to the tiny outreach library or the new espresso café. But it didn’t matter, since no one asked for my number. And no one said anything about my soldier sister in the army, overseas, deployed. No one. I couldn’t get out of that white school fast enough.

But home felt lonely without my sister around.

—

First day of summer vacation. Dad was back in Phoenix, Mom was working, Grandma and Gramps had gone to the Crossroads flea market to get a load of hay. I wandered down to the horse barn. It felt better than hanging around an empty house. Blue left me alone, and I left him alone, except to make sure he was OK. No scratches, no limping, and I checked that he had fresh water, clean hay, enough feed. He was antsy to get out of the corral. I knew I should exercise him, but I wasn’t ready. But I had promised my sister. Maybe…

I stood next to the corral. Blue seemed to know that something was different. He trotted over to the fence, nickered, and looked at me.

“So if we go for a short walk—I lead, you follow—you promise to behave? No rearing, kicking, or running off. Tell you what: I’ll give it a try, and if you behave, then I’ll take you out for an evening stroll every day until sheep camp. Did Gaby tell you about sheep camp? Lots of mares down there in the canyon at sheep camp. Yep, you’ll have fun. Next week you’ll leave with the sheep.”

I felt stupid talking to a horse, but hearing the sound of a human voice, even my own, made the place feel less empty. I also felt guilty thinking about Shimá trying to manage the sheep, her horses, and Blue by herself, taking them all down to the canyon. But my sister was the one who should feel guilty, not me.

Blue bobbed his head, ears twitchy and flattened back. I stepped away from the fence.

“I know you’re mad. You’re tired of being cooped up in that corral.” I tossed a flick of hay over the fence. “Sorry. I’m doing the best I can.”

Blue snorted at the hay, nosed it, pushed it away, and snorted again. I liked this less and less.

I eyed the rope halter Gaby had left hanging on a fence post. If I could get it over his head, I could lead him out of the corral and walk him around for a while.

Show him who’s boss. Don’t let him know you’re afraid. Good advice, Gaby, but you forgot to tell me how.

I had an idea. I got my sister’s riding jacket and put it on. Maybe if I smelled like my sister it would help. I held the halter in one hand and reached over the railing with my other hand full of grain, careful to keep my palm flat. “Here, have some. My peace offering, sweet oats. Your favorite.”

Blue trotted over. He sniffed the jacket from cuff to shoulder and snorted out a puff of dusty snot.

His ears went back again. I should have known. But I kept my hand flat, even though it was shaking, and stuck it under his nose. He sniffed the oats and scarfed up every kernel.

I breathed out, started to relax. Saw Blue’s big teeth, but too late.

“What the hell?”

Blood dripped.

Blue snorted, spun around, and trumpeted his victory.

That sucker bit me. I can’t believe he bit me.

Ride him? Never.

Maybe Gaby will flunk deployment camp. Some soldiers do.

Flunk, Gaby, flunk.

I took off Gaby’s jacket, threw it in a corner.

Why did I ever say I’d take care of your dumb horse?

I quit.

A craawk scolded from overhead. I looked up.

No sign of a raven.

Black feathers lay in the dust.