Ruth Anne walked into the fellowship hall at a nearby Englisch church where the support group met every Thursday at four. Apparently Dr. Prescott had gotten together with Ruth Anne’s mother, and between the two of them, they’d convinced Ruth Anne to give it a try. The idea of talking to strangers—especially Englisch strangers—about her problems felt strange. She hadn’t gotten much sleep last night even though after two months, Joshua wasn’t taking a bottle as often. She’d been dreading this meeting, and it was the first time she’d left Joshua with her mother.
She’d begged Levi to attend the meeting with her, but he said he had to work late. He worked late most days. They’d settled into a routine, and even though Levi was spending more time with Joshua, it seemed forced, and he remained detached. Not only from Joshua, but from Ruth Anne as well.
At a table on the far side of the room sat four ladies and a man. On shaky legs, Ruth Anne walked toward them.
“You must be Ruth Anne, the young woman I spoke with on the phone.” A pretty woman dressed in a red dress with matching heels and long blond hair stood up, walked to Ruth Anne, and extended her hand. “I’m Julie Hicks.”
She motioned to one of the empty chairs.
“Sometimes there are as many as ten of us, but we are the regulars.” Julie pointed to her left. “This is Angie.” Julie introduced the other two women and the man, and Ruth Anne made an effort to remember their names. Angie was much older than the rest of them, maybe fifty. Julie and the other two women—Tonya and Elaine—looked to be in their thirties. With Elaine was her husband, Elmer, which seemed like a funny name for an Englisch man.
“We’re very casual here. We mostly share ideas, discuss doctors we like, offer advice and encouragement, and generally support one another through the good and the bad of having a child with Down’s syndrome.” Julie smiled. “So, Ruth Anne, tell us about you, your family, and your new baby.”
Ruth Anne could feel herself blushing. She wasn’t used to being the center of attention, but as she glanced around the table, everyone was smiling, waiting. “My . . . my baby is Joshua. And . . . and you know I’m here because he has Down’s syndrome. I’m here to learn more about it.” There was a lot more to it, but she figured it was a starting point.
“Great,” Julie said. “And how old is Joshua? Tell us all about him.”
Ruth Anne took a deep breath. “He will be three months old next Thursday, November fifteenth. He . . . has Down’s syndrome.” She paused. They know that. She felt herself starting to sweat. “And he has a heart defect, so I take him to the heart doctor once a month. It isn’t the kind that he will have to have surgery for, they don’t think. And he doesn’t see real gut, so he will eventually need glasses. He has lots of doctor appointments. My mom mostly goes with me.” Ruth Anne had finally accepted her mother’s offer to go with her, and it helped to have two sets of ears at the appointments. Half the time it took both Ruth Anne and her mother to understand what the doctor was saying.
“Are you married?” the older woman, Angie, asked.
Ruth Anne nodded.
Angie leaned back against her chair and folded her arms across her chest. She was a heavyset woman with short, silver hair. To Ruth Anne, she looked much too old to be having children. “Does his job prevent him from going to the doctor visits with you? And what about you? Do you work?”
Ruth Anne thought about all the hours Levi worked at the lumberyard now, voluntarily. “Ya. He works many hours. I only work at our house, keeping our home tidy, working in the garden, sewing, and now caring for Joshua.”
“You’re lucky to have a husband,” Tonya said. “Mine bailed not long after Matthew was born.”
“How awful.” Ruth Anne bit her lip right away, knowing she shouldn’t have blurted out her first thought. In some ways, Levi had left her too. That was her main reason for being here, but she wasn’t about to bring it up on her first visit. Maybe never.
Tonya let out a little snort. She was pretty, too, but different from the others, who all looked like they may be professional types. Tonya had bleached white hair with dark roots and a tattoo on one of her arms—of a cross. “Believe me, I’m better off without him.”
Angie chuckled. “I’d have to agree with you.” She looked at Ruth Anne. “This is our safe place, Ruth Anne. We laugh, we cry, we share. And it all stays right here in this room. Having a Down’s child is challenging, but they are amazing, and we’ve shared some wonderful times in this room over the years. Sometimes people come once or twice, or they might pop in when they are facing an unexpected challenge. We’re always available. We get new people who just need help and advice during the infant and toddler years. So whether you come only today or for the next ten years, or even three or four times a year, we’re fine with anything.”
“How old is your baby?” Ruth Anne asked since it sounded like maybe Angie had been coming for a while.
She chuckled. “Kenny is hardly a baby. He’s twenty-five. But mentally he is about fifteen. He lives on his own, though. It was scary at first, for both of us, but I check on him every day. He has a job at a burger place nearby, and he pays his own rent.” She smiled. “But I guess they are always our babies, no matter how old they get.”
Ruth Anne nodded. She wondered if Joshua would be behind in his mind too. Dr. Prescott said that was a possibility, and she’d given Ruth Anne some books to read. She’d glanced through them, but she didn’t understand a lot of the big words, so it was frustrating.
Julie cleared her throat. “Let me give you a little briefing about each of us.” She took a sip from a water bottle she had in front of her. “I am an attorney, so I can help you with any legal issues you might run into, and I’m pretty good at dealing with the insurance companies as well, so if you need to appeal any claims, I’m your gal.”
“The Amish don’t have insurance,” Tonya said. “They draw from a community fund, right?” She looked at Ruth Anne, who nodded, recalling the mystery person who was paying her bills. She wasn’t ready to share that with this group of strangers either.
“Right, right. I knew that,” Julie said. “But anyway, Ruth Anne, if there is anything you don’t understand, you can come to me. For example, if your son ends up needing surgery and you don’t understand what you’re signing, things like that.”
Ruth Anne felt herself blushing. Most people who lived in Lancaster County knew plenty of Amish folks, and they all knew that Amish children only went to school through the eighth grade. She couldn’t help but wonder if these people thought she was stupid. Especially Julie, who’d had lots of schooling.
“My daughter is six. Her name is Destiny. And like your Joshua, she has vision problems, but she loves her pink-framed glasses we just bought her.” Julie paused, smiling. “She goes to public school, but we have a tutor who comes to the house twice a week.” She leaned down and reached into her purse, pulling out a picture. She handed it to Ruth Anne.
“She’s pretty,” Ruth Anne said, hoping she didn’t sound surprised. The little blond girl in the picture looked like some of the pictures Dr. Prescott had shown Ruth Anne. “And I like her pink glasses.” She handed the photo back.
“Thank you. Rob and I adore her.” She pointed to Elaine. “Elaine, you go next. I think it would be best if Ruth Anne heard from everyone, instead of me giving a summary.”
“Elmer and I have been coming here for almost a year,” Elaine said in a soft voice. She was a tiny little redhead who reminded her of Bethany. “Our daughter, Jamie, just turned two. She has congenital heart disease and has had two surgeries so far—she’s done great with both of them.” She turned to her husband, then back to Ruth Anne. “She is the love of our lives.”
Ruth Anne wanted to burst into tears when Elmer leaned over and kissed Elaine on the cheek. I miss you, Levi.
“Half of the children born with Down’s syndrome have heart problems,” Julie said, then she nodded to Tonya. “Your turn.”
Tonya was slumped against her chair with her hands in her lap. “Well, like I said, I’m doing this on my own. It wasn’t in my husband’s life plan to raise a special-needs child, and Matthew and I are doing just fine without him. Matt is three. He has a healthy heart, no vision problems, and so far the only issue we’ve had to deal with is that he has celiac disease, so it’s gluten free at our house.”
Ruth Anne had no idea what that meant, so she just smiled and nodded.
Julie took over again. “So, what’s on everyone’s plate this week?”
Ruth Anne listened to them mention various doctor appointments and tell stories about new things the children had done, but what she noticed most was the laughter. These people joked, laughed, shared, and amidst it all, there was a hopefulness that she could feel rubbing off on her.
After an hour, it was Tonya who offered to close the meeting. “Ruth Anne, we like to close with a prayer every week. Okay with you?”
“Of course.” Ruth Anne knew better than to judge a person by their appearance, but she was surprised that Tonya was the one offering to lead the prayer.
“Dear Lord,” Tonya began, “it is only through Your grace that we face each and every challenge head-on with courage, faith, and hope. Please continue to guide us as we nurture and love these children You’ve put in our charge. May we always make the best decisions we can for their well-being, and please guide each and every doctor who lays hands on our children. Special blessings for Ruth Anne and her family, and we’re glad You guided her into our circle. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.”
Ruth Anne gulped hard, wanting to cry. But happy tears this time. This was a meeting she would look forward to attending. It hadn’t been as strange as she’d feared, but more than ever, she wished Levi could have been here. She followed the others to the door, and after everyone said good-bye, Ruth Anne realized she didn’t have a ride home. The church was too far from home to travel by buggy, so she’d hired a driver to drop her here, someone she didn’t know well who wouldn’t ask a lot of questions. But she’d forgotten to set up a return ride home. She reached into her purse and realized that wasn’t the only thing she’d forgotten. Her cell phone, which was only to be used for these kinds of situations. She waved as Julie, Elaine and her husband, and Angie pulled out of the parking lot, knowing she should flag someone down to take her home, but she felt embarrassed. Then she covered her ears when a loud noise startled her. It was Tonya firing up a huge motorcycle and giving it gas over and over again. She eventually pulled up to where Ruth Anne was standing.
“Need a ride?” Tonya yelled over the roaring engine.
On that? Are you crazy? “No, thank you.” She spoke as loudly as she could.
“Do you have a ride coming?” Tonya turned off the engine.
“Uh, no. Do you, um . . . do you have a cell phone I can borrow?”
“Sure.” She reached into the pocket of her black leather coat, then handed Ruth Anne a phone. “But I have an extra jacket and helmet. Where do you live?”
Ruth Anne eyed the motorcycle with two large seats and the word Harley etched across the bright-pink finish. She’d never been on anything like that in her life.
“I live not too far from Gordonville Bookstore,” she finally said as she wondered what it would feel like to be on a motorcycle.
“Well, I’m happy to drop you off. It’d be faster than you waiting for someone to come get you.”
Ruth Anne stared at Tonya’s phone and realized she didn’t know anyone’s phone number by heart. She handed back the phone. “Is it safe?”
Tonya grinned. “Probably safer than those buggies you people take out on the main highways.”
Ruth Anne couldn’t argue with that. She bit her lip, eyeing the pink motorcycle. Tonya got off of the seat and went around to the front of the bike and pulled out another black leather coat and a black helmet from a storage compartment. Tonya’s helmet was pink. “Here,” she said. “Hop on before you change your mind. Only thing is, my house is on the way to the bookstore. I need to stop there before I drop you off. It’s time for Matt to get his medicine, and it’s new so I want to be there. I forgot to tell Missy—the babysitter—about it.” She smiled. Ruth Anne wanted to tell her what pretty teeth she had, but that seemed inappropriate. “And you can meet Matt.” She pushed the coat and helmet at Ruth Anne. “Button up. Might be a bit chilly.”
Tonya swung a leg over the motorcycle and started the engine, then put on her helmet. Ruth Anne felt ridiculous as she grabbed the small bar in front of the rear seat, which was higher than the one Tonya was sitting on, and swung a leg over. Once she’d tucked her dress underneath her legs as best she could, she put on the coat, buttoned it up, then put on the helmet. The temperature was in the fifties, so her legs were going to be cold, but she was anxious to do something she’d never done before.
“Ready?” Tonya yelled above the roar.
Ruth Anne nodded as she took a deep breath and grabbed on to the bar in front of her.