Two days after Joshua’s birth, Ruth Anne was sore, tired, and disappointed that Joshua hadn’t latched onto her breast, so she’d been pumping her milk and feeding him with a bottle. Mary Elizabeth had set the appointment with the pediatrician in Lancaster for today. What made the niggling worry bearable was the love that was growing by the minute for little Joshua.
Watching Levi interact with Joshua was deepening her love for her husband in a way she didn’t know was possible. And he wasn’t only attentive with Joshua, but also with her. She didn’t remember her father ever being so involved in their lives. Just five years ago they’d gotten a surprise when Katie came along. Ruth Anne tended to her mother while her father headed back to the fields within an hour of Katie’s delivery.
“Do you think everything is okay?” Ruth Anne twirled the string on her kapp as Levi held their sleeping infant. “Dr. Prescott said they were doing some blood tests. Is that normal?”
“I’m sure Bethany’s baby had all that stuff done too. It’s routine.” Levi continued to gently rock Joshua, not taking his eyes off of him, while they waited in Dr. Prescott’s office. Ruth Anne looked at the clock on the wall. They’d been waiting for almost thirty minutes. She jumped a little when the door opened.
Dr. Prescott was young. The woman must have had to go through lots of schooling to be a doctor, but Ruth Anne didn’t think she looked old enough for that.
“Hey, you guys,” she said as she walked around her desk and sat down. She even talks like a young person. Ruth Anne scanned the doctor’s desk. On the desk sat a wedding picture of Dr. Prescott and her husband, lots of file folders, and a stack of books on the doctor’s left. “Sorry it took so long.” She opened a folder. Smiling, she said, “What a beautiful boy Joshua is. Isn’t he just amazing?”
“Ya. He is.” Ruth Anne glanced at her baby in his father’s arms, then back at the doctor. “Is he of gut health?” The doctor had examined Joshua earlier for what seemed like a long time. Then they’d been asked to wait in her office until she finished with another patient.
Dr. Prescott opened her mouth to speak, but pressed her lips together when the door opened and an older man walked in. He was slightly hunched over, with gray hair and gold-rimmed glasses, and wearing a white coat.
Dr. Prescott nodded toward the man. “Ruth Anne and Levi, this is Dr. Calhoun. I’ve invited him to join us.”
When the doctor offered his hand, Ruth Anne shook it. The older man gave Levi time to shift Joshua into the nook of his left arm, and they shook hands as well.
“Listen, guys.” Dr. Prescott sat taller and folded her hands on her desk. “I’ve brought Dr. Calhoun in so that he can talk to you about a condition we believe your son has.”
Ruth Anne swallowed back a lump in her throat, but quickly thought about the power of prayer. She’d prayed away problems, ailments, worries, and the like her entire life. She held her breath. Please, God. Don’t let it be bad. Please, God. Please, God. Please. Don’t let anything be wrong with our baby. Ruth Anne looked at her husband, sure he wasn’t breathing either, but a glance at Joshua let her know that even if they weren’t, their son was breathing just fine.
“Have either of you heard of Down’s syndrome?” Dr. Calhoun took a step farther into the room, but he remained standing despite the fact that there was another chair against the wall. Ruth Anne shook her head, then looked at Levi. Her husband blinked back tears.
“Don’t tell me our Joshua has Down’s syndrome,” he said as he shook his head. “He doesn’t. I know he doesn’t. I’ve seen kinner with Down’s syndrome. Their faces look different. Our Joshua looks just fine.” He lifted the baby a little bit. “Look at him. He looks like a normal baby.”
Ruth Anne felt light-headed. She’d never heard of this Down’s disease, but it was scaring her the way Joshua was reacting. “Can you tell us what this is? This disease?”
“It’s not really a disease. It’s a syndrome, and I know this is a lot to handle for anyone, to get word of this about your child. Especially since you are both young and first-time parents.” Dr. Calhoun pulled the chair closer to Ruth Anne. Maybe he sensed that she might keel over. He sat down, put his hands on his knees, and focused on Ruth Anne since Levi was scowling and wouldn’t even look at him.
“How sick is he?” Ruth Anne wished her mother were here holding her hand. Mamm had offered to come, but Ruth Anne was trying to be a grown-up, so she’d declined. She’d only been married to Levi for a year, and while he’d been very nurturing throughout her pregnancy, right now he was trembling and just staring at Joshua. But they were both nineteen. Mature adults.
Levi glared at the doctor. “He doesn’t have it. My third cousin had Down’s syndrome and this isn’t it.” He looked at his son again.
“Doesn’t have what? I don’t understand what this is. Will he be all right?” Ruth Anne’s voice was cracking, and the woozy feeling in her head was getting worse. “Is there medicine for it?”
Dr. Prescott cleared her throat. “Ruth Anne, like Dr. Calhoun said, it isn’t really a disease. When a person has a full or partial extra copy of a certain chromosome, chromosome 21, it can genetically alter development, and we call this Down’s syndrome.” She paused, but Ruth Anne still didn’t have a clue what she was talking about or what was wrong with her baby. “Your midwife noticed the gap between Joshua’s big toes and second toes. This is a clue that a child could have this syndrome.”
“So, do we fix his feet? I don’t think it looks bad, but if it will help him to walk or—”
“It’s not just his feet, Ruthie!” Levi’s face was red, his bottom lip trembling. “It’s . . . it’s . . .” He finally lowered his head after his eyes teared up. “Explain it to her.”
Ruth Anne started to cry. “I’m scared. What does this mean?”
“Honey, I know you’re upset,” Dr. Prescott said. “I brought in Dr. Calhoun because his office is in this building, and I wanted to be sure before I told you. This condition has all kinds of physical distinctions, and some won’t become apparent until little Joshua gets a bit older. But he does already have some of the common traits.” She nodded toward their baby. “Do you see how his eyes have an upward and outward slant?”
Ruth Anne swiped at her eyes, then leaned closer to her son. “My aunt has eyes kind of like that.” She shrugged. “We can live with that.”
Dr. Prescott turned to a computer that was on the desk in front of her and began to type. After a few moments, she turned the screen so that Ruth Anne and Levi could see it along with her. “Here are some varying degrees of Down’s syndrome. See how the mouth is small and the lips are thin in this picture?” She pointed to another one. “The head is a bit smaller than average sometimes, and the ears are lower set. The arms and legs are—”
Ruth Anne sobbed, waiting for Levi to offer comfort, but he just sat staring at Joshua. Then he started to cry also. She touched his arm. “But we will love him no matter what.” She looked at Dr. Prescott and spoke in a shaky voice. “We already love him more than life. He is perfect.”
Dr. Prescott reached over and put her hand on Ruth Anne’s. “Of course you love him. And I have always believed that God chooses special people to raise special children. It isn’t what any parent expects, but every child is a blessing.”
Ruth Anne couldn’t catch her breath. “What . . . what . . . do we . . .” She raised her shoulders and dropped them slowly.
Dr. Calhoun handed her a box of Kleenex. “We need to run a series of tests. Babies with Down’s syndrome are at high risk for other medical conditions, and we need to rule those out.” He handed Ruth Anne a card. “Dr. Prescott said her initial exam of Joshua didn’t indicate anything that is urgent, and he is breathing well on his own. But I’d like to see him next week. You can call the number on the card. Ask for Kayla. She’ll be expecting your call and will make sure to fit you in.”
“I love him. I don’t care if he looks a little different.” Ruth Anne scanned the faces on the computer screen, and most of them were cute in their own way. “Look how adorable some of those children are. And we are simple people. Plain people. Our looks don’t rule our lives like—” She stopped herself before saying, “Like the Englisch.”
“Awe, sweetie. Of course you will love him no matter what. He is precious.” Dr. Prescott closed her computer and pushed it aside. “And I know you said you felt badly because you couldn’t get Joshua to latch on. That’s very common with Down’s babies. So don’t feel guilty about it, okay?”
Ruth Anne wished she could bring Joshua back to Dr. Prescott instead of the older man. Her mind was awhirl with thoughts, questions, and fears. She wasn’t sure what to ask, so she just nodded.
Levi had stopped crying, but he wouldn’t look at anyone. After a few moments, he stood up and looked back and forth between the two doctors. They all waited for him to say something. Looking out the window, Ruth Anne could see dark clouds rolling in and that it had begun to rain. She was glad her parents had hired a driver since Lancaster was a bit too far to go by buggy. Besides, she couldn’t have managed all the jostling of a buggy ride just yet, and August in Lancaster County was still too warm to be carting around a newborn.
On shaky legs, Ruth Anne stood up. As best she could, she thanked the doctors, then extended her arms so that Levi could hand her Joshua. She waited as her husband leaned down and kissed Joshua gently on the forehead. Then he handed their son to her and walked out of the room.
“He just needs time to process this information,” Dr. Calhoun said as thunder boomed in the background.
Dr. Prescott opened the drawer of her desk, then handed Ruth Anne another card. “This is a local support group. After Dr. Calhoun finishes testing and things settle down, you might want to call that number. Everyone in the group is raising at least one child with Down’s syndrome.”
Ruth Anne swallowed hard as she pulled Joshua closer to her. After a few moments, she eased him into the baby carrier, fearful of dropping him. Her legs were shaking, her lip trembling. “I have to go find Levi,” she said as she leaned down to grab the carrier.
“I’m going that way. Let me carry that for you. I doubt you need to be lifting anything so soon.” Dr. Calhoun lifted the carrier, and together they left the office and headed toward the exit. Ruth Anne still thought she might pass out. But she didn’t have that luxury. She had a baby to care for. In the distance, she saw Levi standing underneath the awning, staring out into the darkness of the storm, and she tried to picture a future that neither of them saw coming.