Marion Lane was just about the cutest place she’d ever seen. Compared to the other streets in Leadsham, which were nice enough, this little corner of the Yorkshire village looked like it belonged in the country magazines she used to see in the supermarket. The ones he’d wanted her to read but which had left her cold. There was a florist, full of colour with green-painted wood windows, a little café with a few tables and chairs dotted around outside. Up the lane were other shops, a law firm, and opposite she noticed, at the end, stood the police station.
She turned to look, pulling the pram away from the kerb. Brody worked there. She waited for the panic to grab at her throat, but she breathed easily. He’d seen the sign going to work. It made perfect sense. She thought it over every which way in her head, but she couldn’t see why he would have bad intentions. It was just good luck, him seeing the sign and her mentioning her need of a job. If anything felt iffy, surely there would be signs?
She didn’t owe him a thing. If she got the job, it would be on her merit, right? It didn’t make them friends. It wouldn’t, she resolved. Taking a deep breath she pressed on.
Hey.
The voice in her head spoke over the sound of her steps. Her voice, his words. Like always. She didn’t hear him anymore. Just his control over her showing it still had a few tendrils clinging on.
What are you doing?
She ignored it.
Ha-ha.
I can’t hear you. You’re not here.
You can’t do this without me. Brody could be a tracker. He’s a policeman. He knows where you live. Why can’t you be smarter?
She told the voice in her head to shut the hell up and squared her shoulders. She needed this job.
Turning back to the row of shops, she scanned each one. And there, next to the florist, was the bookshop café. The building was cream, with a huge bay window at one side of a red wooden door. The window frames were painted black. Full hanging baskets dripping with water hung from painted wrought-iron hooks. The window was full of new releases, some with reviews pinned to the plinth fronts. Hannah walked over to the window, scanning each title and not recognising any of them. She hadn’t gotten much reading done of late, aside from neurotic late-night googling of every sniffle and fart Ava emitted. As she stepped slowly closer to the door, she saw the sign.
PART-TIME HELP WANTED
ENQUIRE WITHIN
Looking from the sign back to the window, she wondered whether this could be the one.
Glancing down at Ava, who was staring right back at her, the cuddly dog in her arms because she’d cried at the loss of Bullet. She knew she had to try anyway. She’d come this bloody far, right?
‘Right, Ava, no kicking off in here, okay? We’ll go to the park after I promise.’
Turning the pram around to park it outside the shop neatly, she heard the door open behind her.
‘No need, love, we have a little area for prams. Come on in. I’m Lola.’
Hannah turned to face the woman, and was confronted by a cute, freckled face surrounded by a shock of dark brown curly hair. The woman looked like Nicole Kidman but wearing an apron bearing the name of the bookshop café.
‘Er … thanks. I was here about the sign.’
The woman beamed again, reaching for the front of the pram and hoicking it over the threshold.
‘Ah, even better!’
Inside, it was as though a Tardis unfurled before her. Her eyes were everywhere as she followed the woman towards a little fenced-off area away from the main doors. They stashed the pram in there, and Lola clapped her hands together.
‘Right, coffee?’
‘So you just moved here?’
‘A little while ago yes.’
‘What do you think of the place so far?’ Lola took a sip of her brew, nodding in a motherly way for Hannah to do the same. She took a sip, Ava sleeping in her pram now. God, she forgot how much caffeine could perk a girl up. She’d been good at avoiding it, but with the insomnia it was a fine line some days.
‘It’s nice. I like it.’
A tall, thick-set man placed two plates of carrot cake on the table, winking at Lola and heading back off to serve a customer.
‘That’s my other half. Don’t feel obligated to eat the cake either. He’s had a bit of a Bake-Off thing going on lately. Since we decided to add the café, he fancies he’s Paul Hollywood, I think. Keeps him busy. Anyway, I won’t bore you.’ She pushed her hair out of her eyes with one hand while drinking coffee with the other. She licked at her lips and straightened her shoulders.
‘Right, so the job? What we are looking for is someone to help on the bookshop side of things mainly. Business is getting really busy now, especially with the online orders. We did think that after the initial excitement on the website and delivery side was over it would slow down, but it’s taking up a lot of time now and only getting bigger. The locals are hardcore book lovers, I can tell you! We need a hand, someone who can deal with the customers, maybe help with locating the orders in the shop and putting them to one side. The stock levels are a bit hit and miss at the minute with everything going on. I keep getting behind with ordering the stock in time. Scattered brain. Christmas was brutal.’
I can relate. Hannah shuddered inwardly at the memory. She physically shook herself, laughing awkwardly. Hannah smiled, enjoying the chat with another person. Lola was looking at Ava now, a smile across her lips.
‘Sorry,’ she began again. ‘I tend to overshare. Pregnancy hormones.’ She rolled her eyes theatrically. ‘And I just did it again. Another reason for needing the help is the fact that we’re expecting, and I know I won’t be able to keep up this pace then. So that’s it in a nutshell.’ She talked about the flexible hours, and the pay was more than Hannah was expecting too. As they talked about the job, they got onto the subject of books and reading. The cake and coffees were long gone by the time they’d finished, and Hannah found herself relaxing. Which she already knew was usually a big mistake.
‘So, if you want the job, it’s yours. I think you’d be great here!’
‘That’s fantastic!’ Hannah beamed back at her, willing her hands to stay steady. ‘I’m thrilled, really – the thing is, I don’t really have any references that you could check. The library I told you about closed down.’
‘Okay, no worries. Could you ask another past employer maybe?’
John, Lola’s husband, came and collected the plates then, putting the used crockery onto a round wooden tray.
Hannah kept her head up.
‘Not really. I would need to be paid in cash too, if that’s possible. I don’t have access to my bank account.’ She threw in a nonchalant shrug. It’s hot in here. She rolled her sleeves up her arms, something she used to do pre-Victor. Pre-bruises. She shoved them down again, but Lola’s eyes were all over them. ‘I lost a couple of boxes in the move. It’s been a nightmare.’ She paused. ‘Bit of a klutz, too.’
Lola was looking at her differently. She’s not buying it. She’d seen the look before, but no one ever followed up. Over her shoulder, Hannah noticed that John was listening now, not that you could tell from his body language. He flicked his eyes in her direction and took the tray back towards the kitchen. Lola’s face told Hannah that it wasn’t washing, and she knew it sounded weak, even to her own ears. You can’t do this without me. I told you so, stupid. Hannah put her hands on her lap under the table, moving her right arm down her leg to squeeze at the flesh with her fingers. The pain centred her, snapped her awake. It kept her from falling into a dark hole. There was nothing there for her but his cutting comments.
Leaning forward across the table slightly, Hannah swallowed and looked Lola right in the eye.
‘I’m a really hard worker. I loved working at the library, and I really think I could help you here. I’ve already got a childminder lined up for Ava, and I can start this week.’ Lola pursed her lips, but before she could speak Hannah rushed to fill the space. It was crunch time now. She needed this. ‘I’m not in any trouble … I haven’t done anything wrong. I just moved here to make a good life for me and my daughter.’ She looked pointedly towards Lola’s tummy. ‘That’s all I want for my baby. A good life. I just need to lay low.’ She whispered the last part, but Lola’s look wasn’t one of pity, or shock. She looked like she cared, for some reason. Her eyes kept sliding behind Hannah, and she knew that she and John were having some kind of secret conversation.
‘Well, I’m … just let me speak to John a minute, okay? Can you wait?’
Lola flicked her hair back, looking across towards John, who was busy stocking shelves now, or pretending to. Hannah felt her hope slide away the second Lola made to get up. It was mere seconds, but it felt like hours. She could feel the sting of tears in her eyes, and her body tingled. The urge to run out of there was so strong, all she could do was keep fighting to stay upright. She knew how to play a little dirty; she’d seen it enough times to play the role herself for once. She didn’t want to miss out on this job.
Lola had seen the lingering ghosts of finger-mark bruises on her arms. Unmistakable. She was getting comfortable, forgetting to hide everything about herself. She couldn’t go back. She didn’t want to let this moment go. Lola wavered between standing and sitting, and she took her shot.
‘Brody told me about the job. I’m sure he’d vouch for me.’
That got a raised eyebrow from Lola, but the sounds of books being dropped broke the conversation off short. Lola sat back down.
‘Andrew Brody?’ she checked steadily. ‘Andrew Brody spoke to you, and sent you here about the job?’
Hannah nodded, holding her breath and praying she hadn’t just overstepped. Lola seemed surprised about Brody, but she clearly knew him. Hannah had counted on it. She was playing the small-town angle and it was working. She took no pleasure from it. She wasn’t used to this, feeling free like this. It had been a long while since she’d not bitten her tongue to keep the words she wanted to say in. And now she was free to speak, and she was using her words to lie to complete strangers, to bend them to her will. It sickened her, but she had to get this job. Her money was running out. Her rental wasn’t forever. If she didn’t get some sort of semblance of normality, when he found her, she would have no option but to go back. She could sort everything else, given a bit of time. She was due to visit Martine and Ruby today to discuss them childminding Ava. They’d jumped at the chance of taking her on. She just needed the job. Victor had access to her bank account; she couldn’t use it.
‘Yes, the police officer? He told me about the position.’ She pressed her hands onto the table in front of them, tapping it in frustration. Tap. Tap. Tap. ‘I’m desperate,’ she whispered, and she hated herself for it. All she could feel was her skin tingling with the absurdity of it all. She laughed, despite herself, and then the tears started to fall. She sat back in her chair, still laughing like a strangled drain and trying to stem the flow of tears. They felt hot on her face, and she could feel them against the chill on her skin. She felt ice cold and red hot all at the same time, and she wanted to pull her skin off and run for the hills. To just disappear.
‘Forget it,’ she said, standing angrily and going to leave. ‘I’m sorry I disturbed your day.’ She turned to look at the shocked woman and nodded to her bump. ‘I am really sorry.’ Lola tried to follow her, moving awkwardly around the stack of books by her desk.
‘No, don’t go! Hannah, we would love to have you! You misunderstood.’
She was halfway out of the door, wrangling the pram and Ava, when John spoke from behind her.
‘Start tomorrow, nine o’clock.’ She turned to look at him, and he was watching her now from the office doorway. ‘If Brody sent you, we’re good. The job’s yours, cash every Friday.’
Hannah cleared her throat, swallowing hard and forcing the tears to stop leaking from her eyes. She clenched her fists, using the pain of the digging of her nails on her palm to centre her.
‘What about the paperwork?’ she checked.
John looked at her for a long moment.
‘For now, we’ll just keep it informal.’ He met her eye, giving a slight nod towards the pram. ‘Till you get yourself sorted.’
She nodded mutely. She would have to come clean soon, but for now she had work, and money coming in. Hopefully Lola wouldn’t tell John what she’d seen. The bruises would be gone eventually. No more to cover up. She was almost there. One piece of her new life at a time. She knew that it would be an issue that would keep coming up. Kate had offered up her own ID one appointment, when they were frantically planning her escape, but it was too risky and she had to use her own anyway. She wasn’t some Soprano, getting fake identities on the black market. She needed her ID; she just couldn’t use her old accounts. Besides, borrowing ID was too easy to check up on, and what the hell would Kate do if she needed it in an emergency? She was biting her lip now, hard. ‘It might be a while before I can do that.’
John waved her off, but he didn’t take his gaze from hers.
‘We’ll work something out. Down the line.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, a little less fear in her voice now.
She smiled all the way down the street, singing along with Ava’s musical toy as they headed to the park. That afternoon, the voices were eerily quiet in her head.