The next day, Hannah stopped to take a breath and remember that triumphant feeling when she got to the bookshop door. She was child-free for the first time since Ava was born, and she felt naked without her. As though she’d casually left a limb hanging over the chair at home like a forgotten bag. It had been a shock of a day yesterday, first the job, and then Martine and Ruby’s house. She’d signed Ava up on their books, and had to bend the truth once more to get what she needed. That night, when she’d returned home and finally gone to bed, she’d slept like a log. Their identities were safe for now. Life was clicking into place. She just had to keep her guard up, keep saving, and keep moving forward.
She’d caught sight of herself in the mirror that morning, nervous about her first day. Wanting to be herself for the first time in months, but knowing that she’d have to conceal parts too. She didn’t even look right; the alien form of herself staring back like she had for so many months. As her body had changed shape as she grew Ava, so too her face had changed. She was starting to slim down a little now; all of the stress, and then the walking around Leadsham was helping to shed the baby weight. Not that she cared. Not anymore. The alien in the mirror might feel a world apart from the real her but she was still a big improvement on the woman she’d been. She looked a little like the person she wanted to be, and that was enough. It had gotten her here, to the door of her new workplace.
She’d dressed in her best black slacks, a black and white spotted blouse tucked in, and her comfiest ballet shoes. She felt good for once, happy that she had something that made her feel comfortable. She was looking at her reflection in the shop window when a man’s face appeared right next to her own. She caught sight of the eyes watching her and jumped half a foot back in shock. The door opened a second later.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you! Come on in – Lola’s just in the back.’
John Tucker was an imposing man up close. Not as tall as Brody, but no slouch either. She carefully looked him up and down before entering the bookshop. He seemed to shrink from her a little, taking a couple of steps back before offering her his hand across the space.
‘I didn’t introduce myself properly before. John Tucker, Lola’s other half. It’s really nice to meet you.’
Hannah took his hand with a smile but didn’t hold it long.
‘You too. Looking forward to getting started.’
‘We really need some help around here; you might regret saying that.’ John led her through the bookshop to the back. Lola was sitting at her desk working on the computer. Around her, on shelves and in piles, were books of all varieties – some with paper invoices tucked into the pages, the printer firing off many more behind her. Lola’s face lit up when they walked into the room, and she was out of her chair and across the room before Hannah could blink.
‘Hi! Oh God, I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re here! Baby settled okay at the childminders’?’
‘Fine thanks. She was having pancakes when I left.’
‘Brilliant. Martine and Ruby are great. They’ll look after her so well. I’ve already booked a place for this one, for when we need it.’ She laughed and pointed at her little bump. ‘Do you fancy a coffee before we get started?’
John coughed behind them, and Lola rolled her eyes at him.
‘Ugh. Decaf tea then. The caffeine police are here again.’
John laughed, heading out of the office into the shop. Lola kept up a steady stream of chatter as she made their drinks, telling her about the job, and some of the characters in Leadsham. She didn’t ask any questions about her life before coming here, and Hannah found herself relaxing into the chat. It felt so nice, after the last couple of months of only having a baby to talk to. Ava wasn’t great with conversation yet, after all.
‘So, that’s about it really.’ Lola led her through to the shopfront, where John was just opening the doors. ‘Today I was thinking we could get the online orders in the back under control, and then maybe once we get that sorted, we could get you on the till maybe?’
Hannah was too busy looking at the books all around her.
‘I’m happy to help wherever. This place is beautiful you know. Even the shopfront really doesn’t do the inside justice.’ She thumbed one of the books on the table next to her, feeling at home for the first time in a long time. She missed some of her old life, the library job she’d had especially. ‘I’m really grateful to be working here.’
Lola beamed back at her, taking a couple of books off the table and thrusting them into Hannah’s hands.
‘Perk of the job. We want to start doing more reviews for the fronts of the shelves, compete with the chain stores from the larger towns a bit more. Fancy taking these home and doing a few?’
Hannah looked at the new books in her hands and felt like she had been handed a lifeline.
‘I would love to. It’s a bit dull once Ava’s down on a night. No TV yet.’
‘Oh, right.’ Lola nodded to the books with a smile, adding another two to the pile in Hannah’s hands. ‘Well, my friend,’ Lola touched her shoulder in a sisterly way, and Hannah thought of Kate, and how the two women made her feel. ‘It’s all trash on the box lately anyway. We’ve got you covered.’ She dropped her voice. ‘I mean that, Hannah. Just ask if you need anything.’
Hannah nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She was really beginning to like Lola.
The pair of them laughed together over their drinks, and the rest of the morning went just as well. Before Hannah had even had a chance to look at the clock, it was lunchtime, and she was more than halfway through her first shift.
‘Hannah, you go get something to eat if you want. Take your lunch hour; the rush has passed. We get busier again once the schools are out.’
Hannah finished wrapping the order in her hands, sticking on the address label and putting it into the bulging post bag in the back office. She was just gathering her things when the door went again, and Hannah felt the atmosphere in the shop change. Looking up at the customer coming through the door, she found herself staring straight into Brody’s eyes.
He was standing in the shop doorway, John talking to him in quiet tones. She couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she wasn’t trying. He flashed her a smile. All she could do was look at him, talking in hushed tones to John, but his eyes never left her face. What is it about this quiet man? She felt her body grow hot and looking at a man that way again made her whole world tilt on its axis. She turned away, breaking the connection.
‘Look at the two of them, thick as thieves.’
Lola had come to stand next to her, and she hadn’t even noticed.
‘Er yeah. Are they friends?’
Lola looked across at the two men, a look of love crossing her features.
‘They used to be partners, before John left the force to help me here. The business was getting so busy, and John … well, he had a bad experience.’ She paused but didn’t offer any details. ‘It stayed with him. It was time for him to go, but it was hard on them both. They’re like brothers, and Brody is a loyal man. They both are.’ A frown crossed her features. ‘I worry about him sometimes.’
Hannah didn’t know which man she was talking about with that last statement, but she wasn’t in a position to be asking. She did want to know about Brody though. Every time they met, she was left wanting to see more of him. It was as annoying as it was surprising. As usual, she was adept at keeping her cards close to her chest. Trouble was, so was he.
Hannah was about to ask more about Brody and John’s bromance, but Brody was looking at her again. He strode over to the two women. His damned absorbing eyes zoned in on hers. She heard Lola whisper something under her breath, but she couldn’t focus on anything but him.
‘Hi.’
‘Hi.’
Lola tapped Brody on the shoulder.
‘Hey, Brody. I’ll let you get on with things, Hannah – orders to get to the post office. Enjoy your lunch break.’
She looked at her behind Brody’s back, and Hannah felt her face explode with colour at being left alone with him here. She looked at Brody, and he seemed just as ambushed. He was more amused than she was too.
‘Where’s Ava?’
Her heart beat just that little bit faster. It was unusual to hear him say her name. To hear anyone say her name really.
‘Childminders’.’
‘Ruby?’ he asked, but then his face fell. ‘Don’t answer that – I shouldn’t have asked.’
‘Don’t worry, it’s fine. I don’t think it’s a village secret. It’s nice that you asked about her.’ She didn’t want to answer his question, but the fear on his face after he’d said it told her that it was an innocent question. He was normally so poker-faced; it was a definite tell. ‘She loves that dog you gave her too. She calls him Bub-bub. She can’t say Bullet yet. I tried to teach her.’ She blushed at how fan-girly that made her sound, but he looked delighted. His smile was wide, and it made him look more handsome. His slightly stubbled cheeks were filled with colour. He was quite goofy for his size. It made him look less … threatening. Victor wasn’t a huge man, but as the saying went, size didn’t have to matter. It was what you could do with it.
‘That was quite a lucky day then, all in all. The day in the park, I mean.’
Wow. Hannah felt her stomach do a three-sixty. ‘Yes, I suppose it was. Aside from the crazed mugger.’
‘Of course, sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.’ His jaw clenched.
‘You weren’t being rude. I was joking.’ He looked back at her, a slight frown on his face that made her want to laugh. ‘I feel like Mindy here, Mork. Are you always so serious, questioning everything?’
Shit. Where did that come from?
‘Not always.’ His lip twitched. ‘Are you normally this defensive?’
‘Yes, and that was another question.’ She huffed, trying not to raise her voice. Somehow she didn’t seem scared to argue back with him. He seemed to find it amusing. Another thing to add to the list of annoying things that made her curious. ‘How come you didn’t tell me your mate owns the bookshop?’
His brows lifted. ‘I came to tell you today.’
‘After I took the job.’ She lowered hers in response. His rose higher as a counter-move.
‘You wouldn’t have gone for the job if I’d told you, and I wanted to help.’
‘Me? I don’t need any help.’ She poked herself hard in the chest. It made her glare all the harder at Brody. They were having a near-silent disagreement, which was another first for Hannah.
‘Lola and John.’ He glanced around, but John and Lola were not in sight. ‘I wanted to help them. You have a love of books, experience, and they needed staff. Why don’t you like being helped?’ He looked genuinely interested in her reply, the lift of one dark brow giving him away. The man with all the questions.
‘Another question. I don’t need it, that’s all. Anything else you’d like to know?’
‘Well, maybe one thing, but I’m starting to think I already know the answer.’
Her heart stopped, like it had shushed itself to listen in.
‘You can ask.’ She folded her arms. ‘I might not answer.’
‘Fine,’ he replied with another lip twitch. ‘Will you have lunch with me?’
The answer was out of her mouth before she could even think about engaging her brain.
‘No.’
‘Okay.’
‘Sorry.’
‘It’s fine.’ He looked over her shoulder. ‘See ya, John,’ he called out.
Hannah felt awkward, wanting to fill the silence. She hated the silence more than she hated the decibels of chaos with Victor she’d left.
She hadn’t expected him to say that. She couldn’t. Wouldn’t, anyway. A policeman? It would be madness. Even if she liked him enough to try. Still, she felt the need to fill that silence as he walked away.
‘I have something to collect.’ She said this to Brody’s retreating back. He stilled, turning to eye her over his shoulder.
‘Oh yeah?’
‘Yeah,’ she echoed. ‘New TV.’ Now she had a job, she wanted to treat herself. Kill more silence.
He nodded once, pulling his keys out of his pocket.
‘I’ll give you a lift. See you at the car.’
Only the ring of the shop doorbell heard her protestations. Everyone else had seemingly gone deaf.
‘I didn’t need a lift,’ she sulked from the passenger seat of his car. ‘I could have managed. It smells like dog in here.’
He pushed a button, and her window went down halfway. He turned on the radio, filling the car with low-playing chart music. She glared at him, but his eyes never left the road. He’d winkled the destination out of her when she’d halted his exit. She’d been planning to pick up the TV, taxi it back home and race back to the bookshop. Annoyingly, when she stomped out of the bookshop, irritated and confused by their exchange, bag in hand, he was standing there. One hand on the open passenger seat door of his car like a limo driver to the Oscars. She’d rolled her eyes, muttering her thanks as she sank into the seat. It didn’t take long thankfully, and she was soon standing in front of the counter at the charity shop.
‘Hi.’ She smiled. ‘Hannah? I came to collect the TV you found for me? I got a text this morning?’
The woman behind the counter took her name and ticked it off a list on her clipboard. ‘It’s in the back.’ She thumbed behind her as she took Hannah’s money with the other. Fifty pounds for a little colour flatscreen. A bargain. Brody had followed her like a hulking shadow, and when she was finished talking to the woman, he was standing behind her with a bag full of his own purchases.
‘Bargain hunter,’ he supplied easily when she raised a brow at him. ‘Jan, I’ll get it.’ He walked into the back room, returning a moment later with the television and a plastic bag of wires and the remote. Jan gave him a motherly look, adjusting her glasses on her nose.
‘Thanks, Brody love.’ She looked back at Hannah, pushing a receipt from the till in her direction. ‘There you go. How’s the little one?’
Hannah felt a pang of panic at the mention of Ava, before remembering that Ava was safe with Martine and Ruby. Her heartbeat was drowning out the ability to form words. ‘She’s great, thank you. See you later.’ Brody dipped his head in Jan’s direction. When they got to his car, he put everything into the boot. She got into the car before he could repeat the door-opening saga, checking the time on the dashboard. She’d still have time to eat when she got back. She could have done it herself, but she had to admit, it was easier with her own personal mountain to carry things around for her.
‘Thanks,’ she offered reluctantly. ‘It was easier with you there.’
He nodded once, indicating right and smoothly turning the wheel onto the road.
‘For telling me about the job, too. That was nice of you.’
Another nod. He turned the radio down, just a notch. She waited for his lips to move.
‘You don’t talk a lot, do you?’
He looked her way then, his jaw tightening. ‘I’ve been told that. And I thought you didn’t like questions?’
Half a song went by. Her stomach gurgled. Another look. She covered her tummy with one hand.
‘I’ve got lunch at work,’ she felt the need to explain.
‘Good. Eat it.’ He swallowed, slowing down as they reached her house.
‘I won’t be a minute.’ When the car came to a stop, her hand was already on the handle. She met him at the boot, but he passed her the bag of wires and scooped up the rest. ‘You want to put this inside?’
She didn’t think of that.
‘The hallway will be great, thanks.’ She could do the rest herself. She didn’t want a man over her threshold.