You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

—Tina Fey

Wednesday, August 27, 6:32 p.m.

Post-tryouts

Post-smoothies

Dance tryouts were this afternoon, and Brynn made it. Since the beginning of middle school, we’ve talked about how much fun it would be to be on the team together, and I know how much she wanted it. But she did something this afternoon that makes it hard to be totally happy for her.

I was in the gym with the rest of the team and the girls who were trying out. There were a few other kids in the gym who had come to give moral support. Everyone was hanging out, waiting for Ms. Baumann to start tryouts, when Sophie showed up.

I was talking to Brynn and Emily and another girl on the team, Kate. Sophie spotted us and came over to our group. “I came to wish you luck,” she said to Brynn, smiling.

“Thanks,” said Brynn in a clipped voice. Then she turned her back to Sophie and kept talking to Emily and Kate like she didn’t care if Sophie had come or not. Sophie pursed her lips. I could tell she was trying to decide what to make of Brynn’s reaction.

When Ms. Baumann started tryouts, she asked anyone not trying out to leave, and Sophie did. But as Ms. Baumann broke the girls into groups and had them dance, I was still thinking about what had happened. It was sweet of Sophie to come and kind of cold of Brynn to not be more appreciative.

Then, when Ms. Baumann finally announced who made the team, there was lots of screaming and hugging. I gave Brynn a big hug and so did Emily and Kate. “We should stop for smoothies on the way home,” Emily said to Brynn as the gym started to clear out.

“Perfect!” said Emily.

“It’ll be a celebration!” I said, smiling at Brynn and trying to keep the mood light. But when we got our smoothies and sat down, I said something to Brynn about what happened. “That was sweet of Sophie to come to wish you luck,” I said.

“Um, I guess,” she said. Then Brynn gave me a blank look almost like she didn’t know what I was talking about.

But I knew she knew exactly what I was talking about, and as we walked, I couldn’t look at her. She’d been mean to Sophie, plus she was hanging on Emily’s every word and laughing at all her jokes. Last year when I’d made the team and she hadn’t, she told me she didn’t like or trust Emily. Now, she’s acting like Emily is her new best friend and Sophie is her number one enemy.

I don’t get it. Or her.

9:42 p.m.

Still trying to get it

Aside from doing my algebra homework, I’ve been spending most of the night trying to figure out why Brynn acted the way she did today. It was nice of Sophie to go to tryouts. She was clearly there to support Brynn. So why was Brynn so rude to her?

Is she jealous that I have a new friend? Did she feel threatened when Billy asked Sophie about her parent’s separation? Does she just not like her? I don’t know what her problem is, but I have to get to the bottom of it because two of my best friends can’t not like each other.

Can they?

10:05 p.m.

I thought about calling Brynn and talking to her about how she treated Sophie, but Billy called to say hi and I decided to talk to him instead. “I wouldn’t read much into it. She was probably just nervous about tryouts,” he said when I told him what I happened.

I should have known Billy would defend Brynn. “That’s probably it,” I said. But I wasn’t convinced.

When I hung up with Billy, I called Sophie. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t upset. But when I brought up what happened, all she said was that it was no big deal and that I shouldn’t be worried about it because she’s not.

Sophie is always honest, but I had a feeling this time was an exception to the rule.

Thursday, August 27, 9:45 p.m.

Supposed to be studying for bio test

Brain elsewhere

This afternoon I asked Sophie if she wanted to come over to study together for our bio test tomorrow, but her head was clearly somewhere else, because the way she answered was, “I decided I’m going to run for SGA.”

“Student Government Association?”

Sophie laughed. “That’s what it stands for.” She waited. “You don’t think it’s a good idea?”

“I’m not sure,” I said honestly.

“I know it will be hard to win,” said Sophie. “There are only two freshman spots, and I don’t know who all is going to run. Plus, I’m the new girl. It’s not like everybody knows me yet. But I really want to do this. Even if I don’t win, I’ll meet a lot of people.” She paused for me to take in her reasoning. “There’s a meeting next week for anyone who wants to run. I’m going to sign up. I think it’s a good idea.”

“Me too,” I said encouragingly. Sophie should try if that’s what she wants to do. She’s new and that makes her a long shot to win, although if anyone can do it, she can.

But as Sophie chatted on, I couldn’t help thinking about what Brynn’s reaction will be when she hears Sophie is doing the same thing as Billy. She should be cool with it, but she’s weirdly territorial about Billy. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

I don’t think it will be. Unless Sophie wins.

Tuesday, September 2, 7:09 p.m.

Tonight when I was walking Gilligan, I saw Matt walking Matilda. “What’s up?” he asked as he walked toward me.

How was I supposed to answer that question? I hadn’t spoken to him since late July, when we broke up. “Not much.” I hoped my voice sounded neutral.

He ran a hand through his hair. “How do you like high school?”

“Good.” I appreciated that he was asking, but mostly, I just wanted to go back into my house.

“How’s dance?” Three questions. For Matt, that was a record.

I told him that our first competition was at the end of the month, and then we were performing at Homecoming in October and had the dance show in November.

“Cool,” he said when I finished. Then he laughed, at what I don’t know. I didn’t think anything I’d just told him was humorous.

Maybe he was stalling, waiting for me to ask how he was doing, but I didn’t. The words just wouldn’t come out of my mouth.

“See ya,” he said, like bumping into each other was no big deal.

“See ya,” I said like it was no big deal for me either. And surprisingly, it wasn’t. I thought it would be weird or uncomfortable seeing him, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. End of story.

I don’t even know why I’m writing about it.