I hope you understand, I’m too tense to pretend I like you.

—Marge Simpson

Wednesday, September 17

Study Hall

This morning before school was the first SGA meeting. Not like that should be a big deal for me, when I’m not even on SGA. But I was at my locker getting my books with Brynn when we saw the SGA kids coming out of their meeting. Brynn and I watched as Sophie and Billy walked together from the meeting. They didn’t see us see them as they were talking and laughing.

Brynn stiffened.

“I’m sure whatever they’re laughing about is no big deal,” I said.

But my words, which I’d meant to be calming, had the opposite effect on Brynn. “God,” she said. “You always take her side.” Then she walked off.

I feel like I need to do something before this situation gets really out of hand.

Friday, September 19, 7:30 p.m.

Talked to Brynn

After dance practice, I asked Brynn if she wanted to go for smoothies. “Great,” she said. “Let’s see if Emily, Kate, and Vanessa want to go too.”

“I’d rather just go with you. I kind of want to talk.” I’d been thinking about what I wanted to say since the other day when Brynn had gotten upset about Sophie and Billy laughing together.

“Sure,” said Brynn, like it wasn’t a problem.

We got our bags and walked to Smoothie King. As we walked, I did the talking. I made the speech I’d carefully rehearsed in my head all day. “I know things have been a little weird since Sophie moved here.”

Brynn nodded and looked like she appreciated me acknowledging it.

I kept going. “Even though Sophie moved here and she’s kind of family, it doesn’t change our friendship.” I purposely avoided saying anything accusatory, like pointing out that Brynn had been dismissive to Sophie the day of dance tryouts and downright rude after the SGA election.

“Thanks,” said Brynn. “I’m sorry if I’ve been …” She paused like she was trying to find the right word. Then she shrugged and looked down. “Whatever.”

It’s annoying that she wouldn’t acknowledge exactly what she’d done, but I knew it was her way of apologizing for the way she’s been acting. I linked my arm through Brynn’s like we used to do when we were little. “You’ll always be my best friend.”

She leaned into me as we walked, like she needed to be close to me. “It has been kind of weird since Sophie moved here. It changed things, you know?”

“I get it,” I said. “But it’s really important to me that the two of you get along. I hope you’ll try to get to know Sophie a little better. If you do, I really think you’ll like her.”

Brynn listened without interrupting. When I finished, I felt drained and kind of nervous for what Brynn’s response would be. I wasn’t sure if she was going to say that it bothers her that I spend time with Sophie and that I haven’t been a good friend to her since she moved here, or that she thinks Sophie likes Billy, or both, or something altogether different.

But she didn’t say any of those things.

“You’re right,” she said. “I’d like to get to know Sophie better. Why don’t you both come over tomorrow and we can all hang out.”

I couldn’t believe it. Sometimes I think I know Brynn so well, and then she manages to completely surprise me. “Tomorrow sounds great,” I said.

“Cool!” said Brynn. “Could you check with Sophie? I don’t have her number.”

“Sure,” I said and gave myself a virtual pat on the back.

Job well done.

Saturday, September 20, 4:59 p.m.

Home from Brynn’s

Some days just don’t go the way you anticipated. Sophie and I went over to Brynn’s today, like we’d planned. When we first got there, it was fine. Fun actually. Brynn’s mom was super sweet. “Welcome, girls!” She gave me a big hug and told Sophie she was so happy to have her over. Then she helped us make an incredible picnic lunch of hummus, pita, falafel, a salad with feta cheese and chicken in it, and baklava for dessert.

“I love Middle Eastern food,” said Sophie.

“I thought you might,” said Brynn’s mom. She told Sophie that she had a hunch she might be an adventurous eater since Sophie has lived in so many exciting places. She asked Sophie all about living in Paris and New York. I could tell she was trying hard to make her feel comfortable, and Brynn seemed like she was too.

When we took our lunch outside, Brynn went back in and got a big blanket that she spread out on the ground. As we sat down, Brynn was telling Sophie how much she liked her jeans and sweater, and they started talking about fashion, a topic they both like.

When the conversation shifted to school, Brynn asked Sophie how she likes her classes and how they compare to her classes in New York and Paris. I was happy to see that Brynn seemed genuinely interested in Sophie.

As they talked back and forth, I started to relax. Brynn’s dog, Riley, came outside and sat beside me while we ate. I fed him a piece of chicken from my salad. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and I realized how silly it had been of me to be so worried that we couldn’t all be friends.

Then, as we were munching on baklava, Brynn changed the subject. “Did you have a boyfriend in New York?” she asked Sophie.

“No,” said Sophie.

“Really?” Brynn said, like she was surprised.

Sophie shrugged. “No big deal.”

Brynn made a hmmm sound, which I knew meant she thought it was a bigger deal than Sophie was letting on. “So you’ve never had a boyfriend? You know, like, even if it wasn’t official.”

Sophie didn’t respond right away. I could tell she didn’t like the direction the conversation had taken. I thought it was a good time to change the subject. “C’mon,” I said to Brynn. “Let’s jump on the trampoline. We can teach Sophie how to do a flip.”

“That sounds like fun,” said Sophie.

I stood up, but Brynn didn’t move. “You must want a boyfriend,” she said to Sophie.

“Not really,” Sophie said.

“Oh, sorry,” said Brynn. “I guess I just assume everyone wants a boyfriend because I have such an amazing one.” Then she paused and looked directly at Sophie like she wanted her to hear every word she was about to say. “Billy and I are so close,” she said. “We love hanging out. It’s so cool because every time we’re together, we just get closer.” She smiled, like just thinking about Billy made her happy. “I wouldn’t tell everyone that,” she said to Sophie.

But I knew Brynn wasn’t actually confiding in her. She wasn’t trusting Sophie—she was sending her a message that Billy belongs to her. I looked at Sophie, but it was hard to tell what she was thinking.

I had to step in. “All this boy talk is getting boring.” I grabbed Sophie and Brynn by the arms and led them over to the trampoline.

We all got on and started bouncing around. As Brynn and I demonstrated the flips we’d perfected during years of jumping, Brynn dropped the subject. I’m still not sure Sophie was aware of what Brynn was doing. Even though she’s super cool in lots of ways, sometimes she seems kind of clueless when it comes to other people.

I hope she didn’t know what Brynn was doing. But I knew.

And I didn’t like it.