He that is jealous is not in love.

—St. Augustine

Monday, October 6, 9:12 p.m.

In my room

This morning there was a special assembly at school to kick off Spirit Week. Principal Meeks made a speech about Homecoming this weekend and the importance of Spirit Week. “Participate fully and show your school spirit,” he said. Then he turned it over to Jeff Ingraham, a senior who’s president of the SGA.

“It’s going to be a great week at Faraway High!” he said. Then he went through the Spirit Week schedule. Pajama Day Tuesday, Crazy Hat Wednesday, Red-and-White Thursday. On Friday we have the pep rally, the football game Friday night, then the dance on Saturday night.

I was sitting with Emily, Kate, and Brynn for the assembly.

“This is going to be an amazing week,” said Emily.

“I already have my pajamas picked out,” said Kate.

“It’s going to be totally fun,” I said.

We all looked at Brynn. “Yeah,” she said. “It’ll be great.” But I could tell by her body language that she didn’t really think it would be.

Before Jeff left the stage, he announced that the SGA class reps had a special presentation. Brynn sat up straight as they came out on stage in costume. The ninth-grade reps, which meant Billy and Sophie, had on pajamas. The tenth-grade reps were wearing crazy hats and the juniors were in red and white.

The skit was kind of silly. They all played dumb, like they thought today was the day they were supposed to wear pajamas or crazy hats or school colors. Then they reminded everyone to be sure and come dressed to show their spirit on the right days. When Sophie and Billy did their part about Pajama Day, I glanced at Brynn.

I could tell that watching Sophie and Billy doing the skit together was really bugging her. Their part only lasted like a minute. Still, Brynn looked upset. “You OK?” I asked.

Brynn turned and rolled her eyes at me like it was a ridiculous question. “Of course,” she said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Sorry,” I said. I figured maybe I’d read her emotions wrong. Brynn let out a breath like dealing with me was getting increasingly difficult. I guess it’s not uncommon for best friends to think alike, because I was feeling the same way about her.

Wednesday, October 8

Study Hall

Sophie asked me this morning if I want to have a sleepover after the dance on Saturday. “Sure,” I said. I had no reason not to say yes. It wasn’t like I had other plans.

“Great!” said Sophie. “It’ll be fun!”

I agreed. But I was having a hard time thinking about the fun Sophie and I would have, because I was thinking about Brynn. I know she’s upset about Sophie and Billy, but there’s also still this tension between us over my friendship with Sophie. I kind of get it. If Brynn had an almost-cousin that moved to Faraway and they got super close, it would probably be hard for me too. But still, she hasn’t been nice to Sophie, and I’d like to think I wouldn’t act the way she has.

I’ve tried talking to Brynn about it, but it hasn’t helped. I could invite her to our sleepover, but (a) she wouldn’t want to have a sleepover with Sophie, and (b) if I did ask, she’d probably say she was going to ask me if I wanted to have a sleepover and that she can’t believe I made plans with someone else.

Bottom line: I shouldn’t have to choose between my two friends.

Sunday, October 12, 11:15 a.m.

Post-Homecoming

So much happened this weekend. The dance team performed at the pep rally on Friday. According to Ms. Baumann (and the applause we got), we did a great job. The Friday night football game (which we won, YEAH!) was great too. The dance team performed at halftime. It was fun and exciting and a lot less nerve racking than it was when I did it last year. When we came off the field, everyone on the team was in a great mood, including Brynn. “That was awesome!” she said and gave me a hug.

Unfortunately, the Homecoming dance on Saturday was such a weird, awkward night.

SGA had decorated the gym for the Winter Wonderland theme, and there were stars and twinkly lights everywhere. When I got to the gym, I looked around to find my friends. Sophie and Billy were in a corner hanging a string of lights. They’d been decorating all afternoon, and I guess they weren’t quite done. I went over to where they were working. “Everything looks amazing!” I told them.

“Does it look wintery?” asked Billy.

“And wonderlandy?” added Sophie.

“It’s very wintery and wonderlandy,” I said. Everyone was in a good mood. The three of us were talking and joking around when Brynn got to the gym. I waved to get her attention, but she wasn’t looking at me. Her eyes were locked on Billy.

“You look great,” I said as she joined our group. She was wearing a tight white dress that showed off all her curves.

“Thanks,” she said.

“Wow!” said Billy. “You look amazing.”

“I love your dress,” said Sophie.

Brynn smiled and put her hand on Billy’s arm. “Let’s dance,” she said. Then she pulled him off toward the dance floor without even acknowledging Sophie’s compliment.

“She doesn’t like me,” Sophie said. I hadn’t been sure before if Sophie was totally aware of Brynn’s disdain for her, but she clearly hadn’t missed it.

“She’s just jealous,” I said.

Sophie shrugged. “She’s difficult.”

Sophie is always so positive. Sometimes annoyingly so. This was the first time I’d heard her say anything so negative about someone else, and she was saying it about the person I’d been best friends with since kindergarten. “We can talk about it later,” I said, not really wanting to get into it at the dance.

But Sophie didn’t bring it up at our sleepover and I didn’t either. I was actually relieved this morning when she left. I feel terrible saying that. Sophie hadn’t done anything to me. Not directly, anyway. But she and Brynn have both made it clear they don’t like each other, which puts me in the middle. The person I’ve always talked to when I have issues like this is Billy.

But he’s clearly not a person I can talk to about this.

3:15 p.m.

I don’t need to talk to Billy. The people I need to talk to are Sophie and Brynn. I just need to figure out what I want to say. They’re two of my best friends and they can’t not like each other. It’s ridiculous. We’re in high school now.

It’s time they start acting like it.