The greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.

—Roald Dahl

Thanksgiving, 8:02 p.m.

Home from the diner

Today my family congregated at the diner to celebrate Thanksgiving. Gaga asked Dad if she and Willy could do the cooking. Dad agreed, but only because Gaga made a huge deal about how Dad could use a break and that she and Willy had a big surprise in store for us all.

It turned out what they had in mind was more shock than surprise. Gaga and Willy cooked a vegan Thanksgiving feast. When everyone got to the diner, Gaga announced that in honor of their first anniversary (which doesn’t even happen for another five weeks), she and Willy are going vegan. “That means no meat, poultry, dairy, eggs, and a few other things I can’t remember at the moment,” said Gaga.

What I can remember is what we had for Thanksgiving lunch: sliced tofu loaf instead of turkey, quinoa and sprouted onion stuffing, sweet potatoes topped with chopped pecans (no minimarshmallows in sight), an array of unrecognizable side dishes, gluten-free dinner rolls, and raw pumpkin pie.

When Willy brought out the pie, everyone got excited. It looked delicious, especially after what we’d had for lunch. But looks can be deceiving. When Uncle Dusty took a bite, he spit it into his napkin and downed a full glass of water. “What the heck is this?” he asked, like what he’d tasted in no way resembled any kind of pie he’d ever eaten.

“It’s pumpkin pie with pumpkin, tofu, agave nectar, coconut oil, and a raw walnut crust,” said Willy. Then he told us he made it from a YouTube video. He smiled like he was proud of his high-tech accomplishment. I could tell Gaga was too. She put her arm around Willy and kissed him on the lips, right in front of everybody.

I thought the kiss would be quick—after all they’re both in their eighties. But octogenarians can be surprising. As they kissed, Willy wrapped his arms around Gaga, and they stayed lock-lipped for a long time. I hate to write this, but it was quite a passionate embrace.

“Is it safe for old people to kiss like that?” asked June.

“I’m going to vomit,” said Harry.

“Because of the kiss or the food?” asked May.

“Both,” said Amanda.

“I heard when you kiss like that you get the flu,” said Charlotte.

“Or chicken pox,” said Izzy.

My little cousin, Sam, covered his eyes like he didn’t want to watch, which made Charlotte and Izzy do the same thing.

Aunt Lila cleared her throat. “Mom, that’s enough.” But I guess Gaga didn’t hear her (a real possibility) or chose to ignore her (also a real possibility, which I can’t blame her for), because they kept right on kissing like no one else was in the room.

All the little kids started cracking up. Gaga and Willy stopped kissing when they heard all the commotion around them. “Happy Thanksgiving!” said Gaga. She grinned at Willy who put his arms up in the air and made a victory sign like he was a quarterback who’d just thrown the winning pass.

“I guess he’s happy he’s still getting some at his age,” Harry said to me.

“Ew!” I said. I didn’t want to think about that. But it was classic Harry. Some things never change.

But some things are less predictable, like what Gaga did when she and Willy finished kissing. I thought for sure when she raised her glass, she was going to make one of her infamous toasts. But what she said really surprised me. “I’m getting old,” said Gaga.

“Mom, don’t be dramatic,” said Aunt Lilly.

Gaga raised a brow. “I’m not being dramatic, I’m being honest. I’m too old to keep making speeches every time there’s a family get-together. It’s time for someone else to do it. Volunteers?”

No one moved. I think everyone was too shocked. As much as we all roll our eyes every time Gaga gets up to speak, I think the idea of her getting old and not doing it was a whole lot less palatable. Plus, I couldn’t imagine who could possibly replace her.

Gaga waited for a hand to go up, but none did. “If no one is going to step up to the plate, we’re going to go around the room and everyone can say what they’re thankful for this Thanksgiving.”

Uncle Dusty looked at his watch. I knew that meant he was ready to get this over with and go home. “I’m thankful for the delicious meal we just had,” he said.

“You almost puked when you ate the pie,” said Harry. Uncle Dusty ignored his son’s comment and nodded at Uncle Drew like it was his turn.

“I’m thankful we can all be together as a family on Thanksgiving,” said Uncle Drew.

Gaga smiled at his response, and then she motioned to Aunt Lila who went next. As Gaga continued around the room and everyone said what they were thankful for, I stopped listening and started thinking about what I was going to say when it was my turn.

There were a few things on my list.

I’m thankful Mom’s store is a success and that she and Dad don’t have that to fight about anymore. For that matter, I’m thankful she opened the store period. If she hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met Leo.

I’m thankful (shockingly) that Gaga and Willie got married. If they hadn’t, I never would have met Sophie. And even though I know it’s hard for her that her parents are separated and I wish it wasn’t the case, I’m thankful she and her mom came to Faraway.

I’m thankful Harry and I have gotten closer. I never thought we’d hang out or that I’d think of him as a friend. He always seemed dark and moody. But he’s cool and loyal. I like knowing he’s on my side.

I’m thankful Brynn supported me when she found out I was dancing the solo. I can’t say it was the answer to all our troubles. But it felt nice to know, at least for the moment, that we’re friends.

I’m definitely thankful I had the opportunity to dance the solo. I never dreamed I could do something like that. It’s kind of cool and empowering knowing I did. Mostly, I’m just thankful I didn’t screw it up.

“April, what are you thankful for?” When I heard Gaga’s voice say my name, I snapped to it. Only problem: I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.

“April.”

I knew everyone was waiting on me. I decided to speak the truth.

“It’s kind of a hard question to answer,” I said. “There are a lot of things I’m thankful for, and I can’t pick just one.”

When I said that, Gaga looked at Willy and they both clapped. “What a fabulous answer,” said Gaga. Then she picked up a shopping bag and walked to where I was standing.

“The future of family toasting is in your capable hands,” she said to me. She pulled out a neon green T-shirt with the words FAMILY TOASTMASTER on the front and handed it to me. “Put it on,” she said.

“Gaga, this is weird,” I whispered in her ear. But she ignored my comment and tapped her foot like she was waiting for me to put on the shirt.

“April, this was a contest and you won,” she said once I’d slipped the T-shirt on over my sweater. Then she leaned over and pinned a blue ribbon on the front of it and asked Aunt Lilly to take our picture.

“You look like you just came from the state fair,” said Harry when she was done.

“Don’t wear that T-shirt outside the diner,” said Amanda. “The color looks awful with your hair.” Then she paused. “Maybe you should bleach it.”

“The shirt or her hair?” asked Sophie. Then she threw an arm around me and started laughing, which made me laugh too.

It had a chain-reaction effect that rippled across the room. Pretty soon, everyone was laughing, and I’m not even sure why. But what I am sure about is that I’m thankful for my family. They’re weird and annoying and inappropriate lots of the time.

But hey, they’re mine.