(for Livie)
silently
she slips
out of the shadows
raising
her head
she sings
a
song
to
the
dark
moon
I walk the streets
full of strangers with eyes distant
unseeing
faces cold against concrete walls
but
once in a while my eyes go distant
I remember and I smile, a secret smile
a remembering smile
Recalling happier times
long time ago
distant
still hearing the river
the river wild and free
alive
My nookum* still skinned rabbits and squirrels
with hands gnarled and scarred
from too many winters
still,
they were gentle hands
that soothed burning fevers
Winters were cold
children wrapped tight against the wind
still, we played all day
having to be called in at sunset
sitting in front of the hot tin stove
fire red from the heat warming my feet
sharing nookum’s tea
Spring, the river breaks free
loud, ice crackling like rifle fire
we lie awake at nights listening
imagination caught up in the story I tell
about the war raging on the river
all laugh when I am done
we snuggle into the warmth of the feather blanket
little brother the warmest in the middle
Summer, hot, river alive with laughter
young brown bodies dot the clear blue water
some standing naked on the shore
trembling with cold
a breeze whispers gently in my ear
while an eagle rides the sky above me
Fall, the sound of geese in the night sky
singing a good-bye song
as only they can sing
good-bye, good-bye, we shall never forget
I wake to a light snowfall
and the concrete forest that surrounds me
begins to awaken
I ride the escalator with a remembering smile
while others watch me curiously
with fear, I wonder
So I whistle an almost forgotten tune
good-bye, good-bye
We shall never …
A spirit cries within me
crying for release,
I slam the door,
placing a lock on it.
The spirit’s voice is left,
crying softly through the ages.
Visions visit my dreams,
people on the other side call.
I drain another bottle,
washing away accusing eyes.
They scream in fear,
alcohol burns their souls.
I shut my eyes and ears,
their agony is not mine.
They whisper tales of glory,
I shake my head clear, their stories are not mine.
But a spirit cries within me,
weaker, yet still fighting a sightless man.
Spirit attempts to lead a blind warrior
on a journey over broken glass.
he carries his memories on scraps of paper
scattered among his clothes in his battered bag
that has travelled his journeys
through small towns and villages
dying under the prairie sky
pieces of lives etched in the headings of his mind
treherne hotel, friendship is our business
bottomless cups, home fries, perogies, boiled not fried
george’s Chinese menu in emerson, enjoyed by farmers
and americans across the line
helen, walking, always moving, in a sing song voice
soup’s hot, it’s good, yeah, good food, real Chinese
then
the sudden silences when he enters rooms
his brown face alone stands out
the furtive looks, whispers about men in long hair
quick departures and shy smiles from children
before their chairs are flung around - don’t stare
nervous parents chide
chilly looks from grandfather types
grandmothers move restless in their chairs
watching the door
then
late at night listening to the jukebox
in the bar beneath him, shaking the floor and bed
he writes his memories on scraps of paper
to the beat of rock and roll and the national
playing a back drop song
then
he lies down on a bed like many others
he hears the same voices everywhere
only the faces have changed
but they all look alike on the scraps of paper
he writes on
then
he sleeps and dreams of little towns and villages
dying under a prairie sky
their names on scraps of paper scattered among his clothes
oh, canada, thy true face is revealed
as your mask is torn off your face
by our people desperate to be seen and heard
as we sink standing on a raft of promises
oh, canada, we see your face and it is evil
burning effigies in visions that cross your mind
itching fingers when you pass us by
dirty money to children with no future
for your own quick relief
then screaming your hate to your children
about the money taken from you to support
the bums
you kiss them goodnight with the smell of a young child
on your breath
then you phone the radio to vent your rage and hate
oh, canada, thy true face is revealed
oh, canada, thy true face is hatred
i went wandering one night in my dreams
i travelled on concrete rivers
choked with people
seeking sun and silence
i travelled east and saw hope rising
behind a line of guns
and i saw a wall come down
i saw the world cheer and raise hands high
in victory
i travelled west and saw money
piled high as the sky
blanketing the sun
darkening hearts with greed
i travelled south to burning jungles
and saw my brothers struggle to reclaim the rivers
only to fall and fade away
as the world watched and shook their heads
i travelled north and saw barricades
with women and children standing guard
watching a country burning effigies
and hearing a nation cheer
i woke to find i stood behind iron bars
with my brothers and sisters
alone against the tide of hate
and in the distance i heard the gates slam shut
against the wings of the eagle
clipping its freedom
i cried
as the walls came up
in the early evening
as the sun readies for bed
and the moon is still invisible
in the early dusk
i feel its call as it strums the song
in my heart
a song full of sorrow, anger and fear
as i watch a people alone
behind manmade barricades
making a stand
against invisible walls
that stretch from sea to sea
and a sheet of white covers the land
dotted with burning effigies
as people dance around them
mocking a nation with their hate
the final solution is at hand
shades of Hitler’s brothers holding
in their hands a maple leaf and fleur de lis
with a sign behind them reading
HERE HAVE SOME KOOL-AID
IT’LL MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
AND THE PAIN WILL BE SHORT BUT SWEET
the world watches in wonder
as a mask of a nation is peeled away
and its beauty is only a cover
mothers of this land we seek forgiveness
we the protectors of your gifts
we have failed as there is hunger
wars rage and children die
children with bellies distended
cry at night with a hunger
a hunger for food and love
we do not provide for we are busy
busy with fighting useless wars
we deny others our food
knowledge is withheld
others could use it on us
oh mothers we have forsaken your trust
trust that you gave when this world was born
to protect the land
to care for the children
to forever treasure what you have taught
to be faithful to all
oh mothers we have shamed you
we have used you
we have abused you
now we discard you
mothers
we ask forgiveness
we who have nothing
you have taken it all back
Sound of thunder under a clear blue sky
prairie grass bends in the wind
Ground trembles under your feet
rumbling sound stirs your soul
eagerly you mount your horse
For over the hill the sound is louder
closer and closer it comes
so you ride to the thunder
and the sight never ceases to amaze you
Brown, moving brown thundering across the plains
dust blocks the sun, an orange ball in the sky
and as the mass moves closer it blackens the sky
A moving mass of muscle and brawn
large heads held low to the ground
tongues lolling, eyes wild as the wind
Brown brothers ride amongst these beasts
darting in and out of the way
“Yip, yip, yip,” they yell firing into the herd
you see the flash of powder and later a popping sound
a beast crumbles to the ground
smell of blood in the air
So ride Gabriel the hunt is on
and into this living moving thunder you ride
the black horse you’re on is one with you
Grasping your rifle you load on the run
firing and loading, reins in your teeth
never wasting a shot, bison drop around you
A riderless horse thunders by eyes wild with fear
caught in this moving nightmare
so ride Gabriel the hunt is on
Your horse stumbles beneath you
grabbing the reins you lift his head
out of the crowd you move
“Yi, yi, yi,” you yell, “out of my way
I do not die out here.”
With the strength of ten you turn your horse
so ride Gabriel the hunt is on
Heart swelling with excitement
from the smell of dust and gun powder
you ride beside the moving herd
out of shot you ride for the thrill
Brown brothers of saddleless horses
with bow and arrow they hunt, fly by you
arrows finding their marks
so ride Gabriel the hunt is on
Miles and miles you ride following the herd
till your horse stumbles throwing you off
you hit the ground running laughter in your eyes
“Yi, yi, yi,” you yell
the herd turns away from you
leaving you standing alone in the darkening prairie sky
so ride Gabriel the hunt is on
At the end of day you head to camp
counting fallen buffalo that women and children skin
dogs fighting over scraps, coyotes stealing unguarded meat
Women tending broken bodies soothing mourning wives
campfires dot the prairie as far as you can see
So ride Gabriel this could be the last hunt
For white fences are moving west
Silent as day falling into night
he glides across fresh fallen snow
barely leaving a trail in the land
like a shadow in the night
he blends in the dark landscape
a movement on the ground catches his attention
he stops, body quivering with excitement
a rabbit frozen with fear suddenly bolts
mahikan jumps to the chase
zig-zagging across the frozen ground
the two hurtle through the silent woods
mahikan never misses the rabbit’s turns
he could lunge and snap the rabbit’s neck
but he waits
rabbit stumbles burying his face in the snow
quivering eyes full of fear he awaits his death
mahikan’s eyes yellow expressionless stop
he howls at the moon, a mournful cry
his cry is answered in the wind
he trots away, glancing back only once
he is not hungry tonight
the run was only for the joy of life
He stands up there this old man
white hair long, hung in braids
Struggling to talk in broken Cree
he stutters and pauses
He explains why he talks like he does
As a child he spent time in a boarding school
losing what little he had gained
Strapped for speaking his tongue
he grew up with foreign words
A stranger in his land he wandered
searching for his place in life
Accepted nowhere but in a bottle
lost for years in a land of lost spirits
He wandered alone nothing to guide him
until the cry of the fiddle and the beat of a drum
Drew him into the circle
filled with many faces like his
The sadness breaks as he sits
feels peace embracing him
He listens
and dances
Forgotten words emerge
slowly
Painfully he tells his story
as the circle makes him one
Betty, who heard your screams that night
a gentle man, a family man, a silent man
a respected man
walking home, no cares in the world
glad to be alive
a car pulls up full of young men
four looking for an easy time
Young men who’d heard stories
about easy dark-haired girls
they force you into their car
but you fight
Betty who heard your screams that night
a gentle man, a family man, a silent man,
a respected man
Bruised, battered, you struggled on
out of town they drove
in a well known car
but you fought because to give in
would be giving in to ignorance
what was yours was to be saved not used
by ignorant men
who’d heard stories of dark-haired girls
Betty who heard your screams that night
a gentle man, a family man, a silent man
a respected man
Clothes ripped you fought on
only with will and pride you fought
these men who thought that by virtue of their color
you were theirs to use
Betty who heard your screams that night
a gentle man, a family man, a silent man
a respected man
Dragged through the snow, naked body bloodied
still you cursed them and you prayed
did you pray to a white god
one that did not hear
did their rage finally explode
at one stronger than them
did you watch the flash from their weapon
as the lights of the car reflected off it
did you count the blows before the pain overcame you
did you hear them laugh as they left
did one turn around and did you see remorse
they’d heard stories of dark-haired girls after all
Betty who heard your screams that night
silent now as the blood from your body reddened the white
snow around you
Betty who heard your screams that night
a town heard your screams that night
then turned its back on truth
years pass and a province hears your screams
they turn off the lights
years pass and a country hears your screams
and they pull the blankets over their heads
and sleep
I saw a gathering of eagles
high
circling the sun
dancing
I saw a gathering of wolves
running
across pure snow
singing
to a winter’s moon
I saw a gathering of people
together
in a circle
as one
dancing
I saw a gathering of effigies
burning
in the distance
eerily
blood red against a purple black sky
I saw a gathering of white vultures
watching
the burning effigies
approvingly
as helpless people danced in the flames
I went to a gathering
no one was there