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Onto The Day Itself...

A Word About Pre-Show Nerves

This is not a near death experience so why not enjoy every second of the gig for yourself and do it for you. The buzz post show is going to be a better high than anything else you can find legal or otherwise! Think of the audience naked, the Mother of the bride naked or worse, the parents of the couple enjoying a spot of sexy time! Ok maybe that was pushing it a little too far! Another cleaner option would be to focus on a funny event from your past and re-live it in your head. The fundamental point here is to think about anything and everything else apart from the job at hand to stop your brain from going into overdrive. When you are literally seconds away from opening, tell yourself you can do this and you are going to soak up every second and enjoy the experience. Nerves can really try to take hold and send you into a meltdown literally minutes before those opening lines so make sure you have a good word with yourself in advance.

Don’t think about it, just go for it. Do not let those pointless nerves take control of you!

Sound Advise

Testing one two one two! If using a microphone, make sure you have a proper sound check at the venue before ALL the speeches start. There is nothing worse or more off putting than a dodgy microphone that doesn’t work or is too loud at the beginning of a speech. Take responsibility of this task on the day itself and speak to the reception manager when you arrive on-site to arrange a test.

The best man should be introduced directly by the groom himself.

Projection

If there is no microphone a mini rehearsal is absolutely essential. Ask a friend to listen in to ensure your voice can be heard across the entire room and adjust the levels accordingly.

Breathe!

I know it sounds ridiculous but, focus on breathing slowly and calmly before and during the speech. This will not only help calm those evil nerves but, also help keep the overall presentation at a steady regulated pace.

Give Yourself Time!

On that same note, remember, this is not a race and you do not have to say everything in five minutes...

Again - Slow down!

So the guests and couple can enjoy all your hard work. The audience actually want to hear and understand what you are saying!

Posture

Before the speech starts, pop one hand on your chest and one hand on your stomach. Continue breathing normally whilst focusing on pushing the air right down into your stomach and not the chest. If you are on the top table be subtle. We do not want the crowd thinking you have gone totally bonkers before you even get going! Start practicing this technique straight away so you can get the hang of it pre-speech. Eventually you will naturally start breathing in and out from your stomach, which is not only great for staying calm but, also good for your overall wellbeing. The theory is, once your breathing is regulated, you instantly relax into a natural centred position which includes - relaxed shoulders, a straight back, controlled breathing from your stomach, light legs and an overall sense that you are aligned and ready for action. The tense days are over!

Work The Room!

Own the space and take control of proceedings – if you show who’s in charge right from the beginning, the audience will automatically feel at ease. Don’t feel like you have to stay in a rigid position throughout the entire speech, you are allowed to move! Just make sure the audience can see you at all times.

Speak With Clarity

For obvious reasons! First thing in the morning wake up those vocal muscles by completing the following exercises: repeat the alphabet - over pronouncing every letter as you say them, stretch open your mouth and stick your tongue out as far as you can, pretend you are chewing gum for 1 minute, sing your favourite song in the shower at full volume and finally go through the first 3 minutes of your speech over pronunciating every word, ensuring you sound each T and P... this simple routine will guarantee you are vocally warmed up and ready for action.

In the few minutes before the speeches commence, keep talking to those around you focusing on your vocal clarity and pronunciation.

Eye To Eye Contact!

Don’t be scared to connect with a bit of the above especially if you are addressing an individual directly within your speech. Please try not to talk over the heads of everyone in the room. This is a classic public speaking technique but, in my opinion it doesn’t really allow you to fully engage with the crowd, especially at an intimate event such as a wedding. Be fearless and allow your eyes to work the room as well. More importantly this approach will help keep the audience connected to you and their attention in check.

And Hold For The Applause...

I am pretty confident you will get some whoops and cheers along the way so, make sure you hold for the applause and revel in your moment of hilarity. At the same time don’t milk it! No-one likes a show off - it’s all about getting the right balance. Long pauses can be very tiresome so try and keep a regulated pace throughout.

Why Not Raise A Glass Too...

Traditionally the father of the bride toasts the future happiness of the bride and groom, the groom toasts the bridesmaids and the best man concludes with a final toast echoing those sentiments of health and happiness.

The Closing Ceremony

Unleash your emotional side and make it all about the newlyweds! This is the perfect opportunity to bring in a touching story about how the couple met or indeed the proposal that led to marriage concluding how perfect they are for each other...

The Final Word

Leave them with a tear I say! Choose a suitably loved-up line from the couple’s favourite song, movie or perhaps a verse of poetry, a famous quote or maybe just a simple line that says it all. I found this one on the internet recently:

‘Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it’s about finding the person you can’t live without.’ After that you can simply add, ‘My friend has found that person.’

Ta dah -The End.

I am moved to tears already! That’s it – job done. A huge round of applause echoes across the room as a roar of cheers deafens the crowd. YOU DID IT! Now you can neck that huge glass of champers you’ve had your eye on all day and really start to celebrate and enjoy yourself!

What Next?

Well, fingers crossed you are now suitably inspired to scribble down the task at hand. Hopefully you may have been super efficient and made a mass of notes whilst reading this guide that now need to be actioned. Good work. Worst case scenario you are still lost for words – quite literally! In which case I want you to go back to step one and work through those beginning stages again, taking your time to think about sources for material. Get a good selection of stories in the bag and like a jigsaw, everything else will start to fall into place.