In order to get the most from your phone sex experience, you as the customer have a few responsibilities. (Yes, yes, I know you’re paying, but you still have to help.)
First and most important, tell the operator what you want. It sounds simple enough, and for some people it’s easy. Some callers just go ahead and say, “Hi Kristi, I’d like for you to role-play that you’re Mother Goose and I’m a firefighter, and when I come over to put out the fire in the giant shoe, you recite nursery rhymes as I eat your pussy.”
Great! Fantastic! Now I know exactly what to do. If you have a fantasy like this and you’re too shy to tell me about it, it’s likely that you’ll have a tough time having it fulfilled. Face facts – no one is going to be able to guess that one. Try writing your fantasy down and reading it to your phone sex girl, or sending it to her in e-mail. She probably won’t find it as strange as you might think.
For some people verbalizing their fantasy is next to impossible, mostly because even they’re not sure what they want. I’ve had my share of these calls too:
Me: What would you like to talk about?
Caller: Oh, I don’t know, I’m just horny.
Me: Great! What do you like to think about when you’re horny?
Caller: Oh, I don’t know. Just sex and stuff.
Me: Well, honey, what kind of sex do you like?
Caller: I like all kinds of sex.
Now imagine this scenario with the same dialogue, only imagine it happening in Home Depot:
Salesgirl: May I help you?
You: Yes, I want to buy some stuff.
Salesgirl: What kind of stuff?
You: Oh, I don’t know. Stuff for the house.
Salesgirl: Where in the house?
You: Oh, I don’t know. Anywhere.
See the problem?
If you talk to a dispatcher, it’s particularly important to tell her what you want straight out, because she’ll be routing your call to a specific worker based on what you say. If you want a naked teenage girl to stomp on your balls wearing stiletto heels while chewing bubble gum, say so! Don’t be embarrassed – the dispatcher has definitely heard it (or something kinkier) before, and there’s no point in her sending you to someone who won’t talk about what you want.
Once you get started, be an active participant in the call. You may not want to talk much, and that’s fine. If you’d just like to listen, we don’t mind. But it really helps if you let your phone sex girl know that the call is going well for you. A simple “mmm, yeah” or a moan now and then tells her that she’s on the right track. Some guys are so quiet that I literally don’t know whether they’re blissfully stroking their cocks or have gone out for a snack.
If the operator says something like, “How’re you doing, sweetie?” or “Still with me?” that’s probably a clue that she’s wondering if you’ve fallen asleep. You might want to give her some direction, like: “Oh yeah, this is great” or “Tell me more about your tits.” This is also the perfect opportunity to let her know if the call is not going well. It’s completely within your rights as a customer to ask her to go in another direction (“Nah, this dominatrix thing isn’t doing it for me, let’s pretend you’re my ex-wife instead,”) or talk dirtier, or move the call along faster. Most phone sex workers will welcome the input.
In fact, do that anytime you feel things aren’t going quite right. You don’t ever need to continue a call that isn’t working for you. There’s no blame attached – sometimes personalities just don’t click. You’re paying for this, so if you’re not enjoying it, hang up. Try another girl, or call the dispatcher back and ask for someone else. No one will be offended.
There have even been times when I was relieved that the caller hung up. One guy kept asking me to be meaner. No matter how mean I thought I was, he said, “No, meaner.” Nothing I did worked, and I was really at a loss. When he hung up after a few minutes, I was glad.
Set the boundaries on small talk. Many phone workers will start a call with a few questions about you. This isn’t about her trying to keep you on the phone longer – early conversation serves an important purpose. It lets the worker get to know you just a bit, and helps nervous callers to relax. But you’re not required to make small talk if you’d rather not. It’s perfectly acceptable for you to say, “If you don’t mind, I’d rather just tell you about my fantasy.”
Respect her limits. Remember, the phone sex operator is a human being too, and she has limits of her own. Just because you’re paying her, doesn’t mean she’s required to do anything you ask. Common fantasies that some operators will refuse include rape or other violence, sex with children or animals, and bathroom calls. If your phone girl has a website, you can probably get a good idea of her limits from that. If not, just ask. At the beginning of the call, try something along the lines of, “I’d like you to pretend to be screwing a giraffe. Is that something you can do?” If she says no, ask her to recommend someone, or just try another number.
Don’t just hang up at the end of the call. I say this with some hesitation, because it doesn’t actually bother me all that much, but most of my fellow phone workers find it extremely annoying. I certainly appreciate callers who say, “thanks” or “that was great” or even just “Bye, Kristi” before they hang up. Otherwise I occasionally find myself asking the dial tone if it came yet.
On one memorable occasion, I was doing a two-girl call in which the client wanted to hear us pleasuring each other. He was quiet, but that isn’t unusual in that sort of call. Well, we were huffing and puffing and moaning and screaming and then suddenly we both realized that it was just a little too quiet. It was somewhat embarrassing for us to realize that we had been performing for ourselves for we didn’t know how long.
Don’t try to wangle a free call. I can’t tell you how many ploys and excuses I’ve heard. The phone sex operator is not going to give you a freebie because it’s your first time, or it’s your birthday, or your wife is sick, or you just retired, or you’re about to get your paycheck, or you swear you’ll send the money tomorrow, or the boss said it’s okay, or all the other girls give you free calls. No matter how charming you think you are, you’re not going to sweet-talk your way into free phone sex.
The operator is also not going to give you her private number and do a free call with you on the side because you’re so hot and you just want to get her off. I hang up on guys who say things like that. If you are a steady caller you might end up with a birthday call or some free minutes, but if you’re a stranger, forget it.
Along the same lines, don’t try to take advantage. Don’t call to fuck her voicemail when she’s out (think I’m kidding? I was once on vacation and called in for messages to discover a 14-minute recording from a caller who “missed me.”) Don’t jerk off and try to finish quick while she’s taking your credit card number. It’s tacky, and we know exactly what you’re doing. If you sound like you’re already stroking yourself when you say hello, and you don’t indicate in 10 seconds or less that you’re serious about paying, you and your big hard cock will be listening to a dial tone.
Don’t expect anything beyond the phone call. While the occasional phone sex operator does personal sessions or appearances, the vast majority would never consider it. I suggest that you don’t even bring up a real life meeting, but if absolutely can’t stop yourself, ask once. When she says no, move on.
But, you wonder, why wouldn’t a cute 24-year-old phone sex nymphomaniac want an all-expenses-paid weekend fuck vacation with you in Hawaii? Well first of all, you’re a client, not a boyfriend. A phone sex call is a short-range fantasy, not a dating service. If you want an escort, call an escort service. If you want a girlfriend, try the personals.
But, you protest, you’re an incredibly sweet and handsome and rich and charming stud-muffin! You and she get along so well on the phone. You’ll treat her like a queen! You won’t expect her to cater to you – you want to pamper her!
When you call a phone sex line, you’re buying an exciting phone fantasy with someone willing to play your games. The worker you’re talking to might be married, a lesbian, or otherwise unavailable in real life. She might not be the girl in the pictures, and it’s very doubtful that she’s really a nymphomaniac. If you’re in love with her, you’re in love with a fantasy.
Don’t try to turn professional phone sex into something it isn’t. Enjoy it for what it is – a sexy, seductive break from reality!