I was encouraged but not surprised to read that scientists have developed a breath test, which detects cancer before patients suffer any symptoms. I say I’m not surprised because for years the police have been able to detect the vintage of the wine I’ve been drinking, by my simply blowing into a bag. In fact, by looking at a swab of my saliva, doctors can obtain my DNA and work out who my ancestors were. Not wanting to show off, but just one whiff of my wife’s breath in the morning and I can detect what she had for dinner the previous night. Actually, best I change the subject – divorce comes to mind.
I had one reader email me, asking if I’d explain in detail the medical terminology I use. So, for her benefit and wanting to prove I listen to my readers – a little like David Cameron listening to his electorate – here goes. Saliva is a clear liquid secreted into the mouth by salivary glands and mucous glands; it moistens the mouth and starts the digestion of starches. Divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage. Hope that makes sense, Mrs Copper?
With the ability to identify and learn so much about us just by poking around in our mouths, I’m surprised credit card companies haven’t got us licking a machine when shopping. Forget ‘Chip and Pin’, how about ‘Lick and Pay’? I might write to Barclaycard with my suggestion. Since DNA is unique, credit card companies could soon identify us and save the consumer from remembering yet another pin number or password.
Again for the benefit of Mrs Copper – DNA is a nucleic acid that contains genetic instructions used in the development and functioning of all known living organisms and viruses. Please, Mrs Copper – don’t confuse this with a computer virus, like you confused junk email (Spam) with chopped pork and luncheon meat.
These scientists have developed sensors that can spot chemical signs of lung, breast, bowel and prostate cancer in a person’s breath. They believe further work could lead to a cheap, portable ‘electronic nose’ capable of diagnosing cancer at an early stage. Now I’m not sure I’d be capable of that. My wife’s previously eaten tofu is about my limit.
A team of scientists carried out tests on 177 volunteers, some healthy and others with different types of cancer. This study showed that an ‘electronic nose’ can distinguish between healthy and malignant breath. It can also differentiate between the breath of patients with different cancer types. If this is true, it could save millions of lives.
So, if your nasal senses aren’t as efficient as mine, or until this ‘electronic nose’ is launched, do me a favour please – go and see your doctor if you feel unwell or notice any unusual lumps or bumps; feel free to blame me.