Chapter Sixteen

Bryce was glad to be standing close to Dorie, for she looked like she might fall over at Mari’s announcement. “You know him?” he asked.

“I shouldn’t say I know him, exactly. But we’ve met. I was introduced to him and his wife when I lived in London.”

“What… What is he like?” Dorie asked timidly.

“He’s no longer a captain, for one thing. He’s a viscount. Viscount Rutherford. If I recall, he was a second or third son, but the elder brothers passed quite a while ago, so he’s had the title for some time now.”

“My father is a viscount?” Dorie’s voice cracked, and she swayed.

Bryce wrapped an arm around her waist, then guided her back to her seat and settled her next to Marian.

“Yes.” Mari tilted her head to the side, studying Dorie. “You look like him. Now that I know it, I see it clear as day. You have the same coloring. Same eyes.”

Dorie clenched her hands together in front of her chest. “What is he like?” she repeated. “Is he kind or is he…like the McCurdy?”

Mari’s brows creased as she shook her head. “I’ve only met him briefly, but he seemed a nice enough man.” She rested her index finger along her chin. “We could write to him if you wish.”

“Oh, yes. Please.”

Bryce cut in then. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He crossed his arms.

All eyes in the room landed on him as they waited for him to explain himself. It took a moment for him to figure out why he was opposed to the notion. He was as surprised as everyone else when he answered. “He may not acknowledge you, no matter how much you look alike. I’ll not have you reach out just to be brushed aside. It’s not worth it. You’ve been through enough already.”

She placed her hand on his and squeezed. “I haven’t been accepted by the man I called father for most of my life, so if this man doesn’t want to acknowledge me, I’ll not be any worse off.”

“I don’t want to see you hurt,” he said quietly, despite the other people in the room.

“But I will always wonder.” She gave him a look of longing, and he knew he couldn’t forbid her anything.

He understood why she would be willing to take a risk for a connection. He would want the same thing if he found himself in a similar situation. And someone like Dorie, who had spent years hoping for someone to love her, would not be stopped. Besides, he wasn’t an overbearing arse who would keep a woman from finding her real father.

He gave a nod—not that she actually required his approval.

“Excellent,” Mari said with a bright smile. “We’ll write to him after supper.”

…

Dorie could barely sit still through the evening meal. She was so excited she only managed to eat a few bites.

Bryce spared her an indulgent smile when they were finished eating and she jumped up to head to the solar that had been turned into a nursery. Would she and Bryce have a child here soon? She loved the way the sisters visited while the children played together. They were there when disputes broke out, and to rock the little ones to sleep for their naps. Since there were now more children than mothers, Dorie was happy to lend her arms where needed. But today she silently wished the children would cooperate with bedtime.

It seemed to take forever for Mari to have a moment to collect the things needed to send a letter to Dorie’s father. She tried her best to be patient since her friend had given birth to a rather large baby recently, but still wished she’d hurry. Dorie had so many questions, and so much to say to her father.

“What should we write?” Mari asked, quill poised at the paper.

All the words and questions seemed to flit right out of Dorie’s head as doubt crept in. What if Bryce was right and her father didn’t want to know her? What could she say to make him change his mind? She must think carefully and choose the perfect words.

It took them a few hours and many attempts to complete the letter to her father. In the end, she allowed Mari to take the lead and keep the letter to the facts instead of getting into too many details.

She hugged Mari as the letter was sealed and put aside to be sent out.

As Dorie walked to her chamber, she still couldn’t imagine being related to a viscount. She was still chatting about it when she and Bryce went to bed that night.

“A viscount. Do you think he’ll bother to write back? What if he has other children, and I’m just an annoyance?” She gasped. “If he has other children, then I’m a sister. By blood.”

“We’ll have to wait and see,” Bryce said vaguely, the way he’d answered the last hundred questions she’d asked. She barely noticed when he put Rascal out of the room so they were alone.

“I suppose there’s no harm in trying. If he’s too busy, it would be understand—” Her words were cut off when Bryce’s lips came down on hers. He kissed her until she moaned and rubbed against him, her heart pounding. He nipped at her bottom lip and pulled away to smile down at her.

“Enough talking about the man. He’ll either write you back or he won’t. For now, I will do my best to distract you.”

She laughed as he lowered his head to kiss her jaw and then her neck. He continued lower, as he pulled down her shift, exposing her breasts. He sucked in a nipple and ran his tongue over her tightened flesh while his fingers found their way to that special place just for him.

Soon she felt the familiar tension building in her core. It wouldn’t take much to push her over into that place where she ceased to exist. Where there was only pleasure and light.

Before she reached that place, he stopped. When she groaned her disappointment, the wretch chuckled.

“Steady, lass, I’ll see you’re taken care of, but we have all night.”

She relaxed at the truth of his words. Many nights one of them would wake and reach for the other. They would join in the darkness quietly. Taking and sharing when needed.

He rolled on his back, taking her with him, and she smiled down into his cocky grin. At first she thought it a great honor to be given the position of power, but when Bryce crossed his arms behind his head and settled in, she realized she’d been tricked.

“Ye lazy beast,” she teased as she slid him inside her.

He sucked in a quick breath when she was seated, and then a devilish smile took over his face. “Aye. You’ve found me out. Should I apologize?” he asked while pressing up from the bed to fill her completely.

She didn’t think an apology was necessary.

She rocked her body on top of his, sometimes moving quickly, sometimes moving so slowly he groaned in frustration and pushed up. In the end, when he’d finished with play, he grabbed hold of her hips and thrust into her, causing her to reach her pleasure and cry out.

She crumpled on top of him, her ear over his heart where it beat so fast she feared it might burst. “Am I a good lover?” she asked, curious to know.

He chuckled, the sound echoing through his chest to her ear. “You are better than good. You are the greatest of lovers.”

The greatest? She didn’t say anything as his body tensed under hers. Perhaps he had just realized what he’d said. For it sounded as if he was saying she was somehow a better lover than Maggie.

Surely that couldn’t be true. No doubt Maggie was great as well. That must have been the case. It seemed as such to hear him speak of her. The way she haunted him still. Dorie didn’t let that bother her. She held on to the compliment with joy in her heart.

“Thank you, Bryce. I think you’re the greatest as well.”

…

Had Bryce just told Dorie she was the greatest lover he’d had? He rubbed his temple as she lay sprawled across his chest in bliss, and thought over his words.

He hadn’t said it exactly that way, but he understood what his words implied. He’d said Dorie was the greatest. What was worse, it was true. From a purely physical way, at least.

His heart would only ever belong to one woman, but his body stirred even now for Dorie.

For a moment he thought he’d spoken hastily because he’d not been thinking steadily, but that wasn’t the case. He knew as he held her while his breathing came back to normal that what he’d said was true.

Dorie was an uninhibited and responsive lover. He’d not had a partner long enough to learn what pleased her since Maggie. So discovering Dorie’s hidden pleasures excited him. She touched him where she pleased and cried out in desire when he touched her.

He refused to compare his wives. It wasn’t fair to either of them and served no purpose. Dorie was the wife that was here with him now, so he would do her the honor of being with her and her alone while they were in bed together.

He kissed her hair and then her temple. She raised her head to smile at him and slid her leg over his, pressing her hips against his thigh.

“I have been blessed with a lustful wife,” he uttered as his hand trailed over her back to grasp her buttock.

“And I am blessed with a dutiful husband.” She giggled against his neck, the sound stirring him to action.

Over the following weeks, Bryce allowed himself to be happy. The pain of Maggie’s loss was still there, strong and unrelenting, but he was able to see past it to the life he had before him.

Dorie was a kind woman, beautiful and funny. He would take her treats he wrangled from the kitchen or look for her in the hall, hoping to catch a glimpse of her smile. She was always smiling these days. And when he got her alone in their room, they came together as if they were made for each other.

He thought if he had met her first, he would have easily loved her. Occasionally he even thought he might now.

Thanks to poor weather, he wasn’t able to travel to the Campbells yet, so it was an easy thing to stay inside with his wife as the snow piled up outside in the hills.

She only left the safety of the castle when she was with him. They’d seen no sign of a McCurdy on their lands. Yet he continued to use the excuse to go with her when she went to visit Mari and Cam and to exercise her giant hound. It seemed the mutt had finally stopped growing when his head reached Bryce’s waist.

One afternoon when they’d left Cam and Mari’s place it started snowing again. Their feet squeaked in the wet snow on the ground. Bryce swiped a snowflake from Dorie’s top lip, making her laugh. He loved to hear her laugh, even now when it was muffled by the snow falling around them.

He bent to steal another snowflake from her skin, but she squealed and ran. He chased after her and fell on top of her when she tripped in a drift. Once she was thoroughly trapped, he kissed her relentlessly while she squirmed under him.

She held him back by his ears, a wide grin on her face when he finally gave up and stilled.

“Thank you for marrying me, Bryce,” she said, the smile fading into seriousness.

The moment would have been perfect for him to respond in kind, but he said nothing. He was frozen, and not from the snow.

But from terror.

He was happy.

Which meant any day now, fate would come to take everything away.

…

Dorie put on her best gown and fixed her hair into a design Mari had shown her. Bryce was clean and in his best shirt and kilt. His blond hair was still damp and curling on the ends. Fortunately the new year had brought warmer temperatures, so he’d not have icicles.

“Are you sure my gift will do?” she asked as she fretted over the tied bundle.

“It’s beautiful. They will love it.”

She had worked hard on the embroidered pillow covering she’d made for Mari and Cam’s new home. Bryce’s words of praise put her mind at ease, and his following kiss had her wishing they could stay in their chamber rather than go to the other couple’s new home for supper with the whole family.

Bryce helped her up on his horse and nuzzled her neck most of the way.

She’d come to love the trip between Dunardry and the manor house. Bryce was usually unable to keep his lips off her for the entire journey.

“Stop it, or I’ll arrive flushed and they’ll wonder what we were doing along the way.”

“They won’t wonder.” He laughed. “But rest assured, I won’t risk wrinkles to your pretty gown, though I make no promises on the way home in the privacy of the trees.”

“Outside? But it’s cold.” Her voice squeaked in surprise.

“We’ll find a place sheltered from the breeze where you can look up at the stars while I have my way with you. I’ll keep you warm.”

She wasn’t certain he was serious, but she had to admit it did sound rather intriguing. By the time she was ready to suggest they offer their friends an excuse, they had arrived at Cam and Mari’s home.

The manor house was still not finished. As grand as it was, it would probably be years before it was completed. But the kitchen was in working order and the table was overflowing when they were welcomed inside.

The older boys were running about, laughing and squealing while wee Cameron and Lizzy sat and watched. Aiden was in his cradle by the fire, asleep.

Dorie hadn’t felt like part of a family since she was a small child. The scents and warmth in this home made her want to cry with happiness.

She belonged here. She belonged with these people.

She still wondered now and then about her real family—her father, the viscount, who had yet to write her back. Though she’d tried not to get her hopes up, she couldn’t deny the disappointment she felt each day when no return message arrived. Would it have taken so long to write a few lines and send it off?

Perhaps he never received her missive. Maybe she should write another, just in case. She let out a sigh and took a seat next to Bryce, determined not to let anything ruin the evening.

After everyone had finished eating, it became clear the evening wasn’t just so everyone could share a meal, but to share some good news as well.

“Kenna’s increasing,” Lachlan said, looking at his wife with love clear in his eyes.

Mari laughed and turned to Cameron. “I told ye she was with child. You must put the children to bed tonight since you lost.”

Cam glared playfully at Lach. “You couldn’t have given me a hint?”

“And ruin the surprise?”

“It seems it was already ruined,” Kenna said ruefully. “I guess I still can’t keep anything a secret from you, sister.”

“Nay. I’ll ferret out the truth of it.” Mari turned to Bryce and Dorie. “I expect we’ll have more news of the like soon enough from you two.”

Dorie swallowed and felt her face go red, while Bryce cleared his throat and said nothing. When she’d gained the courage to look at him, he was frowning as if the idea of them having children was a horrible thought.

She tried not to let it bother her but had a difficult time hiding it. It was made even more difficult when Lizzy teetered over to Dorie’s feet and reached for her.

Dorie picked up the little girl as she often did when they worked in the solar. She kissed her plump cheeks and made her giggle.

At the same moment, the twins got into a scuffle over Lizzy’s doll and Roddy pushed wee Douglas, knocking him off balance and making him fall. His head hit the hearth with a horrifying thump.

Dorie, being closest to them, handed Lizzy to Bryce and jumped up to get to Douglas. She wasn’t sure what could be done, she just knew she had to help him.

When the boy didn’t make a sound, she thought maybe she’d heard something else falling. But Douglas was merely drawing in enough air to let out a fierce and terrifying wail. Dorie picked him up and turned to hand him over to Kenna, who didn’t look overly worried.

Kenna checked him over and kissed the knot that was already growing on his forehead. “’Tis a good thing you have a hard head like your da,” she said to the boy as she soothed him with kisses and rocked him in her arms.

Bryce quickly handed Lizzy over to Cam, holding her out at arm’s length as if afraid he would get something on his shirt. All the children were crying now, including wee Cameron and baby Aiden, as if in sympathy with Douglas. Though, Dorie thought maybe Lizzy was more upset over being thrust across the table at her father. Cam was frowning as he cuddled his daughter in his huge arms. But her clout hadn’t needed changing, so that probably wasn’t the reason Bryce didn’t want to hold her.

Before Dorie had the chance to ask him what was wrong, Bryce left the table and walked out of the house.

“Maybe it would be better if you don’t have children. You’d be the only one who can hold them,” Cam complained, and tickled Lizzy until she stopped crying and was giggling again.

A few minutes later, Douglas was back to running around with his brother. Lizzy had calmed down, her long lashes spiked with tears as she cuddled close on her mother’s lap beside her new brother.

Dorie wanted her own child snuggled on her lap. But it seemed Bryce didn’t want the same thing, despite his obvious enjoyment of the act that produced babes.

She looked toward the door, and Lachlan shook his head. “If you go to him now, he’ll say hateful things he doesn’t mean. It’s best to let him deal with his pain until he can beat it into submission and be civil.”

Dorie understood and appreciated the warning. This man had known Bryce for a long time and had probably seen all his moods. But she couldn’t ignore her husband if he was in pain. She ducked out of the door when the group was watching wee Cameron and Lizzy playing with Rascal.

Bryce wasn’t far away. She found him standing in the clearing looking up at the stars. The same stars he’d mentioned her looking up at when he took her off to a place in search of privacy later.

“You dinna need to come check on me. It’s not as if I could leave you. Even if I wanted to, I’m bound to you for the rest of my life.” His voice was colder than the icy air.

Lachlan had warned her, but she still felt the shock of his words in the center of her chest. He was attempting to scare her away so he could be alone in his pain. She’d seen how he embraced the loneliness and let it consume him.

Instead of running off to ease her own pain, she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his waist. His body stiffened, and for a moment she thought he might push her away or break free of her and walk off, but a few seconds later he relaxed.

“You wrap yourself in your pain rather than face living,” she said quietly. “Before you know it, you truly will be alone, having run off anyone who ever attempts to care for you. I know it hurts. Trust me, I’ve lost someone, too. And it is my own fault they’re gone.” Her breath shuddered out. “But I’m here for you. I’ll never be Maggie. I would never try to take her place. But I’m here.”

He wrapped his arms around her and tugged her roughly against his body, squeezing her so tightly she could barely breathe.

“I’m sorry, Dorie. I’m sorry for what I said. I dinna mean it.”

“I know. I understand.”

He shook his head. “You canna understand. You deal with your grief in a way that doesn’t hurt other people. While I act the arse.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. When her silence went on, he chuckled against her hair and released her enough to look down at her. “Ye were not quick to tell me I’m wrong about that.”

A smile came to her lips. “I’m sorry for my delay. I assure you, you’re wrong. I haven’t always been kind in my grief.”

“Ye clever minx.” He laughed, and the sound touched her heart. He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “Can you forgive me, Dorie? It was just…holding Lizzy.”

“It made you think of your Isabel.”

When he nodded, her head moved with his since they were still touching.

“It is not fair to Lizzy to be deprived of her kin’s love.”

“She’s not deprived of it. I would lay down my life to protect her.”

“But until there’s a need for such a thing—and I hope there never is—she will not know.”

“Are you nagging me, wife?” His eyes were soft and his mouth was pulled up on one side.

“Aye. ’Tis my duty, and I’ve been lax in it thus far,” she teased, liking that they’d worked through their problems without him shutting her out. It was a step in the right direction.

“Perhaps ye can wait to start until after I take you home and make you scream.”

She felt the heat of her skin in the cool night breeze. “We should say goodbye to our hosts and thank them.”

He nodded, not looking happy about the task. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Thank you,” he said as they went back to the house.

She didn’t know exactly why he was thanking her, but she leaned up on her toes and kissed his chin.

She’d thought lying with Bryce in the marriage bed made her his wife, but she realized now it was moments like these.