Chapter Twenty-Two

Bryce stared down into the eyes of the wounded McCurdy and repeated his question. “Why are you on MacKinlay lands?”

“I’ll not tell you anything. If I’m going to die, I’ll not do so as a traitor to my clan.” He spit at Bryce’s feet as Lach stepped up.

“It looks as if our guest has no manners. Allow me to welcome you to Dunardry. I’m the laird. And I don’t appreciate people sullying my hall.”

The man winced in pain but said nothing, as had been his way the last half hour.

Abagail pushed through the small crowd with all the authority of a person of power. “Let me take a look.”

She pulled away the soaked linen and tilted her head back and forth before turning to Bryce to whisper loudly, “I can save him if you wish me to.” Her expression, however, did not match her words. Bryce didn’t need to be a healer to know this man was far gone and would not live the rest of the day. Still, she’d given them leverage if he wished it.

After constant invasions by their enemies, he chose to take the advantage. “Nay, he wishes to die,” Bryce said.

Lach waved a hand. “Then let’s leave him to it.”

Abagail gave a nod and turned away. Bryce stepped behind her to follow.

“Wait!” the man called. “If you save me, I’ll tell you why we’re here.”

Bryce shook his head. “If we heal you first, you’d have no reason to tell us the truth. Nay. You tell us why you’re here and then we’ll do our best to heal you.”

Lachlan nodded. “I think even ye can agree, a MacKinlay’s word is more trustworthy than yours.”

The man made no attempt to dispute his claim, which was telling. All of Bryce’s life he’d heard tales of the lowly McCurdys and how their word wasn’t worth shite. How horrible to not have pride in your word.

“We lost a group of scouts a few weeks ago. We were sent to find them.”

Bryce knew well enough what had happened to their scouts, but he was willing to play along to get the information he needed. “Why would you be looking for your scouts on MacKinlay lands unless it was the MacKinlays you were spying on?”

The man looked away, jaw set.

“Come along, Bryce. We’ll leave him to his fate.”

“Hold. I’ll tell you.”

Bryce waited.

“Wallace sent us to see if you’ve brought in other clans to aid you in your plans to take over Baehaven.”

“And why would ye think we plan to try such a thing?” Lachlan asked while eyeing Bryce.

“Wallace wants you to attack, but not to win. He’s tired of waiting for his sire to die and wants to speed it along. But the war chief worries he’s gotten the clan into a battle we might not win.”

“You’re aiding Wallace to overthrow your laird?” Lach sneered in disgust at the man who had only a few moments ago planned to die rather than be a traitor to his clan.

“Aye, but not because I chose to. Most of the castle is shifting sides because they fear what Wallace will do to them when he takes over.”

“There’s no hope for the laird to remain in his seat?”

“It doesna appear so. Either Wallace takes him or you do.”

Lach raised a brow in Bryce’s direction but said nothing in front of the McCurdy. He didn’t need to. Bryce understood. It was a good sign that the McCurdy clan was fracturing. It would be easier to convert their loyalty when the time came. If the clan was already warring with itself, they might reduce their own numbers enough that the MacKinlays would be positioned for an easy takeover.

“The scouts and the men today were there under direction of Wallace, but the laird dinna know?”

“Aye.”

“How many of your men do you think are loyal to the heir?”

“All but a few. But if you think they will follow you, you’re wrong. Wallace McCurdy will be the next laird of Baehaven.” The man coughed and moaned, sweat beading on his forehead from the pain.

“Bring this man whisky,” Lach ordered, and one of the maids brought it immediately.

“Do what you can to make him comfortable,” Bryce whispered to Abagail. To the man he said, “I wish you well, and if you don’t live, my men and I will say a prayer for your soul.”

The man only nodded and took a big swig of whisky, along with whatever Abagail had sneaked into the liquid, and the man drifted quickly off to sleep.

“Can you save him?” he asked the healer, knowing the answer already.

She shook her head. “Nay. But it doesna mean I won’t give it my best effort.”

“Make certain he’s not in any pain.” When the time came, that was all any of them could ever ask for.

…

During the next week, while the viscount’s leg healed, he and Dorie didn’t speak again of the annulment. Her father didn’t bring it up once during all the hours they spent together in the solar during those days, though she could tell he’d wanted to ask.

She often caught him staring at her with his lips pressed together, but still he said nothing. She almost wanted him to bring it up…as much as she never wanted to hear the word again.

This morning he’d told her he needed to leave for his estate in a few days, now that his leg had healed enough for travel. Her time was running out. She had to decide what to do to ensure a happy life. Would that be with the man she loved, who couldn’t love her back, or in a new country with a new family and a chance at love for herself?

She stepped into their chamber to find Bryce getting ready for the evening meal. All day she’d been planning what she might say, and now that the time had come, she wasn’t any more prepared. She hovered by the door a moment, taking in her shirtless husband.

When he turned to her with a sly smile, she shut the door and moved closer.

“I have news,” she said.

He kissed her neck and her mind skittered away for a second. While he might not love her, he seemed happy enough to touch her whenever she was close. Most nights they made love and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Each time she thought she might be closer to accepting this life.

She thought it would be good enough. The physical pleasure and the friendship were more than she’d ever hoped for all those years she’d been locked up in a room alone. But she’d come to realize it wasn’t enough now. She wanted a man to look at her the way Lachlan and Cameron looked at their wives.

“Will you share your news?” he prompted as he moved to her ear.

“Aye. Mayhap you can put on your shirt.” She needed to keep her wits about her. She wanted to do the right thing for both of them, but she was teetering.

With his shirt in place, she patted the edge of the bed and took his hand when he sat next to her.

“My father has offered to take me back to England with him. To his estate and his family.”

Bryce’s brows pulled together. “England?” The word came out as a sneer. As if the country were the most vile place on earth.

“Yes. To live with him.”

“You live here. With me.” He looked confused, and she could understand why.

Swallowing down her nervousness, she went on. “That’s the part I thought you’d be pleased about. He’s offered to provide an annulment.”

Bryce didn’t seem pleased. His brows stayed locked in place, pulled together in irritation.

“An annulment?” he repeated.

“You’ll be free of me. Just as you have always wanted.” Her throat burned, but she continued. This was better for both of them. They each had lives they wanted to live in their own way.

He shook his head. “We’ve consummated the marriage, lass. There can be no annulment.”

She frowned that consummation was his reason not to consider it, rather than that he wanted her to stay because he cared for her. She blinked to keep the tears from forming and cleared her throat.

“My father says money pays for anything ye could want from the church.”

Please ask me to stay. Tell me you want me.

“Nay. You’re my wife. Your place is here.” That was not a good enough answer. Not now.

“My place?” She laughed. “I have no place, husband. I exist wherever people will have me.”

“Aye. And I’ll have you here at Dunardry.”

She stepped back from him, tilting her head and watching as he reached for his boots. As if the discussion were over.

She was now even more determined to find a man who would consider her feelings fully before making a decision that affected her. That man might not exist, but she had to think there was someone closer to the mark than this stubborn Highlander she was currently married to.

“I wish to be more than tolerated. Since my mother died, no one has truly wanted me. Not the McCurdy, not my brother, not you.” The last word came out like a curse. “I finally have a chance to be with family who wants me. My family.” She snatched his other boot to make sure she had his attention. “Do you understand what that means to me? To actually belong somewhere?”

He frowned but said nothing.

“My father is a viscount. He has great influence. He said I would have the chance to meet people, and perhaps a man might fall in love with me.” She couldn’t hold back the smile. “I never thought I’d have a chance for such a thing. For someone to love me the way you loved your Maggie. The way I love—” She swallowed rather than finish her thought. It didn’t matter how she felt about Bryce. He could never return her feelings.

He shook his head. “No. You’re not going. You’re my wife.”

“I am your wife,” she agreed. “But don’t I deserve a chance at love?” she asked. “Haven’t I lived as a prisoner for long enough?”

“A prisoner?” he snapped. “You may come and go whenever you wish.”

“Then I wish to go with my father. I wish to live the life I should have had if he’d been able to marry my mother and give us both a home in England. A life with suitors who would offer for me, not because of what advantages our marriage brings with it, but because they want me. Me.” She swallowed down the acute longing the words had burned into her heart.

When he opened his mouth, she expected him to say a final no. So she sealed her lips over his to stop his words. He kissed her roughly, his hands pulling her closer. She wanted to believe he loved her. Wanted her to stay because he couldn’t live without her, but she knew better than to give in to silly, girlish dreams.

He’d told her his heart was broken beyond repair. He’d warned her against trying. He’d tried his best to protect her from disappointment and pain, but it hadn’t mattered in the end. She’d still fallen in love with him.

When the kiss faded, she spoke against his lips. “Please think about it. Don’t say no until you’ve thought it over. Please?”

He nodded and brushed past her without a word.

She packed her few things. No matter what he decided, she’d already made her choice. She was leaving Dunardry.

And the man she loved.