Chapter Twenty-Five

Bryce rolled out of his bed before dawn, having slept horribly the night before. The bed was much too empty without Dorie in it. Her scent had faded from the room when the maids had changed out the bedding, and he hated the absence of her from his life.

To keep his mind busy, he focused every waking minute on how to take Baehaven. He manned a small party that rode out and kidnapped a McCurdy guard. Lachlan was able to get vital information from the man regarding the state of the infighting within their clan.

As expected, the other clan was splitting apart. Father against son. While a more even split might have worked in their favor, it was still an advantage to have the McCurdy men distracted with their own problems.

“We’ve plenty enough men to take the McCurdys in their current state. Our warriors are well trained and strong,” Bryce reported to Cam and Lach.

“They are trained and strong, but not so much so that they can take on three McCurdy soldiers each if the enemy remains banded together,” Lach said. “I’ll not risk my men unless victory is clear. Which means we need you to go to the Campbells. I’ll send Liam to the Stewarts.”

“We don’t need them.”

“Are you saying this because you do not want help, or because you’re not as bright as I gave you credit for?” Lach paused. “Or perhaps you have a death wish? I tell you, cousin, I have many great things to live for and I’ll not let ye drag me into a fight we’re not sure to win,” Lach said with his arms crossed over his formidable chest.

Bryce wasn’t able to refute any of the given choices. Mayhap because the answer lay somewhere between all three. And he didn’t want to think about how much the last option appealed. To be cut down in battle had been his wish for years after he lost Maggie. He’d been reckless on the battlefield and even picked fights with traveling soldiers in hopes of putting an end to the pain without having to do the deed himself.

But he’d never been able to stand there and allow a blade to fall on him without reacting. Some small part of his soul didn’t want to die and always raised his arm in defense each time.

Lach, indeed, had many reasons to stay alive. Three boys and another child on the way. A healthy, happy wife. The respect of his clan.

Including Bryce.

“It certainly won’t hurt to have more men,” he reluctantly agreed, though he hated the idea of a delay.

“I’ve sent word to the Fletchers, so we have their assistance when we’re ready. Once everything is in order and we have three times the men the McCurdys do, then we attack, and not before.” Lach spoke with the authority of a laird, but also with reason that had eluded Bryce since Dorie’s carriage rolled away.

He didn’t want to put his men or family in danger, even if he didn’t much care about what happened to himself. He wanted to leave that afternoon for Baehaven and be done with it. But he would wait.

The end would come soon enough.

Either for the McCurdys, or for him.

…

Dorie had settled in at Sutherland House, but she couldn’t say that she felt at home. She’d never seen such lovely things, and the house was filled with beautiful furnishings, paintings, and objects. Her siblings treated her kindly, but as they would a stranger rather than family. Either because she wasn’t a full sibling or because of the age difference between them, she had not been brought into the circle of their secret jokes and knowing looks.

Harriet was wonderful, though. A pleasant mix of friend and mother, offering advice and comfort when needed.

Her father spent time with her each day, checking to make sure she was happy and didn’t need anything. She couldn’t imagine she would ever need anything more. She had been given more dresses in the few weeks she’d been there than she’d ever owned in her whole life combined.

Her father had even gotten her a dog. Though he wasn’t a great beast like Rascal, he was happy and obedient. She’d let the other children name him, so she was the proud owner of a white pup named Brownie.

But even Brownie felt like a character in the books she read while in seclusion rather than part of her real life. Day after day she waited to settle into the feeling that this was all real. She was happy at Sutherland House, but not like she’d been at Dunardry.

A week later, she felt no closer to being at home.

Especially on the morning it was confirmed that she was not carrying Bryce’s child. Dorie cried for hours, realizing only then that she’d been holding out hope to have a reason to go back to Dunardry and Bryce.

But she no longer had a reason, so it was time for her to move on. This was her life now, and she would have to make the best of it.

That evening she put on a fancy dress and a strained smile and went down to dinner.

Everyone was quiet at first, as if they knew how fragile she felt, like she might break at any moment if someone said something comforting.

Thankfully, dinner with the children proved to be distracting.

“Stop, ye wee beast,” George scolded his twin, Geneva, who sat next to him at the table. He’d taken to Dorie’s brogue quickly, despite his parents’ dismay.

“George. You’ll stop calling your sister names or you’ll be sent from the table.” Her father gave him a stern look to go with the reprimand.

“Aye,” he answered glumly and sank lower in his chair. His success was short lived. A moment later he sat up and looked at Dorie. “Are you a bastard?”

Everyone at the table gasped in surprise and shock.

“George! To your room right this moment,” Harriet snapped, her face red with embarrassment.

“Why must I go?” he whined. “Philip said she was. I was just asking.”

Dorie felt sympathy for her youngest brother.

“Room. Now. I’ll deal with you later,” her father said, and turned to his oldest son who had flushed red with anger at his brother. “Why would you say such a thing? Especially in front of the little ones? I’m ashamed of you.”

“Ashamed of m-me?” Philip stammered in affront. “I’m not the one who was born out of wedlock,” the boy declared.

Harriet muttered and looked up at the ceiling as if praying for patience. “You can go to your room as well, young man.”

At this point in the horrible ordeal, Geneva began to cry and ran from her seat to fling herself into Dorie’s lap, begging her not to leave because George was bad and Philip was mean.

“It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere, love,” Dorie promised her little sister.

Nadia glared at her and left without a word. Dorie thought perhaps the other girl was upset that Geneva liked Dorie more than her. Or maybe Nadia blamed Dorie for the trouble Philip had landed in. Dorie hadn’t yet won the older children over, that was obvious.

“I’m sorry to have caused so much trouble,” Dorie said while patting Geneva.

“It’s not your fault, dear. It’s me who is sorry for the way my children have behaved,” Harriet said, frowning toward the door where three of the children had gone.

“It’s a big change for them. For all of us, really,” her father explained. “Everyone will settle in soon enough. It will be fine.”

Dorie nodded, but she wasn’t sure if her father was trying to convince her or himself.

Each day she waited for something to change. For the pain to lessen. For her to be happy here in England. But each night she went to bed having failed.

She missed her friends. Her dog. She wanted her old bed. And most of all she craved her husband.

Surely things would have to get better soon.

…

Lach’s brows were drawn in that way that meant he was about to bestow bad news. Bryce didn’t need bad news. He was miserable enough as it was.

“What is it now?” he asked. Better to head off trouble.

“Before Dorien left, he offered to send men to aid in the takeover of Baehaven. As you can imagine, he has his own reasons to make sure the laird falls.”

Bryce’s eyes went wide at this news. He knew the viscount would be happy to put an end to the McCurdy who’d killed the woman he’d loved. Not that he needed a good reason. If he was willing to give help, they’d surely take it. Before Bryce could say anything, Lach put up his hand to halt any questions.

“I didn’t tell you and Cam because I wasn’t certain if he would come through, and it didn’t change our plans. I still want the Fletchers, Campbells, and Stewarts next to us when we overtake the McCurdys. It will show the rest of the clans we have the support of others, and ensure no one challenges us after we take Baehaven.”

“How many men does Sutherland offer?” Cam asked.

Bryce only wanted to know if there was news of Dorie and if she was well.

“Enough to make the difference between facing a battle and facing their surrender.”

Surrender meant no risk of spilling MacKinlay blood, something Lachlan had fretted over all this time. This was the answer to moving on and finishing this once and for all.

But it was clear something was the matter. Lach still looked anxious. Sutherland had proven himself a friend, so Bryce wasn’t sure why Lach would delay.

“What is it you’re not telling us?” Bryce asked.

“I’ve gotten word from Dorien. His men can leave England within the month.”

“That’s good news,” Cam said. “Why do you look so angry about it?”

“There’s a condition.”

“Of course there is.” Bryce tossed up his arms. “The bloody English have conditions for everything.”

“So do the Scots,” Cam reminded him with a shrug. “What is his condition?”

“He sent a copy of the annulment. Bryce must sign it, send it back, and promise never to see Dorie again.”

“That doesna seem like much of a condition.” Cam looked at Bryce. “You haven’t seen the lass since she left, and you haven’t seemed worried over it. You’ll be free. Back to the way you were before she arrived and you had to marry her. It’s just what you’d hoped for.”

Aye. It was what he’d hoped for. So why wasn’t he ripping the papers out of Lach’s hand and signing them? He spared himself a moment of sadness. Receiving the annulment meant Dorie wasn’t with child. That should be good news as well…so why did he wish he could hold her?

Because she had always been sad each time her courses came. She’d not said anything, but he had known she was disappointed while he’d only been relieved.

But this time he wasn’t relieved. For it meant she wasn’t coming back.

“We’re sure there’s no way he can double-cross us?” Bryce asked Lach.

“I’ve read through his agreement and it’s quite clear. The only condition is for you to stay out of England.”

Bryce nodded and reached for the documents, but Lach pulled them out of his reach. “You’ll not sign them today. Think it over and we can discuss it tomorrow.”

“What’s there to discuss? Cam’s right, I never wanted the marriage in the first place. I have no reason to go to England, so why not sign it and have it done with? It will take care of all our problems.”

“I understand it will take care of our problems with the McCurdy, but I want to make sure I’m not creating other problems.”

“What other problems?” Bryce didn’t want to talk about this. He just wanted to sign the bloody papers and go on with his miserable life.

“Like ruining my war chief’s chance to find happiness again.”

Bryce snorted and left the hall. There would be no changing Lachlan’s mind. Bryce would have to wait until the next day to be done with it. In the bailey, he sat on the steps and ran his hands through his hair. He didn’t need time to think. He’d been a husband to Maggie and he hadn’t wanted to marry another. How many times did he need to say it?

This annulment was exactly what he needed to put an end to his thoughts of what could happen if Dorie returned. It would ensure he never saw her again. He could be done with all of this unwanted situation with the scratch of a quill across parchment.

Rascal came up and nudged his hand. “Go away.”

Surprisingly enough, the dog listened and lumbered away, leaving Bryce to his unsettled thoughts. It figured the dog would obey when he hadn’t really wanted him to go.

“Razz, come.” The dog stopped and looked back at him as if asking if Bryce actually knew what he wanted. The answer was no. “Here, boy,” he said with more excitement. The big ox ran to him, tongue out and tail wagging. “How are you holding up, lad? Do you still remember her? Do you miss her?”

As if in answer, the dog barked and ran toward the gate. When he saw Bryce wasn’t following, he ran back to sit in front of him, lifted his paw, and scratched it against Bryce’s thigh. He barked again and took off for the gate once more.

“I’m sorry, boy. She’s not coming back. Duty forced me to marry her, and now duty will keep me from ever getting her back.”

It was easy to blame his lack of action on duty to his clan, but he knew the real reason he wasn’t willing to rip up the annulment and head for England. Because if he did, he’d have to admit to the world—and worse, himself—that he missed her and needed her. He’d have to face the fact that he wanted Dorie.

After tossing and turning all night, he was in a poor mood when he entered the hall for the morning meal.

“Where are the bloody papers? I’ll sign them now and be done with it,” he snapped without even bothering to wish anyone a good morning. Kenna frowned when Lach shrugged.

“Very well. They’re in my study. We’ll take care of it after we eat.”

“I’d rather do it now. I don’t want this ruining my appetite.”

“Fine.” Lach kissed his glaring wife and stepped down from the main table.

They crossed paths with Cam and Mari as they were heading upstairs. Cam kissed his wife and their children and turned to follow behind Lach and Bryce.

In the study, Lach went to his desk and pulled out the papers. Without a word, Bryce stepped up and dipped a quill to sign.

Lach held out his hand to stop him. “Before you do that, I want to be clear that I’m not forcing you to do this. If you want to keep Dorie as your wife and bring her back to Dunardry, I would support you fully, even if it meant we didn’t have the aid of Sutherland’s men.”

Bryce blinked at him. “Is Kenna making you say such things?”

“Nay. Well, in a roundabout way. When I first met Kenna, I didn’t want a wife, either. And even if I could have brought myself to want one, I surely hadn’t wanted a wife like her.”

“We recall,” Bryce said as Cam nodded with a scowl.

“And then I gave her a chance, and she gave me a second chance, and I’ve since realized I wouldn’t want to live without her. She’s made my life happier than I ever imagined.”

“I’m glad for ye, truly. As you may remember, I felt the same way when I married Maggie. And I dinna want to live my life without her, either. But then she died, and I was forced to do just that. I managed to piece together enough bloody parts of my soul to barely be called a man. And then you lashed me to another woman. One who—”

He stepped away to compose himself for a moment, then continued.

“One who also left me. Fortunately, this time I was smart enough to protect myself from falling into the same trap as before. So step aside and let me end this farce of a marriage once and for all.”

But Lach didn’t step aside. In fact, Cam came to stand next to him. There was no way Bryce could get past the giant, let alone both his cousins. Even the dog who had stayed by his side since Dorie left seemed to side with the other men.

“Please, I beg you, let this be done,” Bryce said in defeat.

Cam reached out and placed a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Maggie was taken from you. You had no say in the matter. If you lose Dorie, it will be because you made it so. I know you were happy with the lass. She made you smile. You deserve to be happy again. You have a choice. Make sure you make the right decision.”

Bryce laughed harshly at his words. Nay, he didn’t deserve to be happy, and he had no choice in anything. His life was far out of his own control. He was nothing but a fluff of a feather caught in a storm. He had no choice but to ride it out.

“What happened with Maggie was a tragedy,” Lach said. “You canna blame yourself. You were called to duty and ye went. Just as any of us would go right now if asked. If they’d fallen ill while you were still at home, it wouldn’t have mattered. They would still be gone.”

“It would have mattered to me. It would have been the difference between saying goodbye, telling them how much I loved them, and living with the fact they died alone thinking I’d abandoned them.”

Cam threw his hands in the air as if giving up on convincing him, then stepped away. Bryce looked Lach in the eyes for a good minute before the other man finally conceded and stepped aside.

With them out of his way, he was able to sign his name.

And with that, he ended his marriage.