Chapter Twenty-Nine

“I’m so happy to have the chance to introduce you to our neighbors,” Harriet said as Dorie’s father handed them into the carriage. “How convenient for the duke to invite us to his home for a dinner party. There will be a number of wealthy landowners from the area. I know you like the country better than town.”

Her father gave his wife an indulgent smile and Dorie wondered if Harriet knew what she was missing. Dorie was certain no one but her own mother had ever seen the full force of the viscount’s emotions.

Dorie’s own smile slipped when she remembered Bryce’s smile and how guarded it was. How it was also always missing something.

He hadn’t loved her. And she hadn’t been able to love him enough to bridge the gap between them. Swallowing back the pain, she forced her lips up and straightened her shoulders.

Harriet had encouraged Dorie’s maid to take special measures with her hair and dress this evening.

Dorie felt excitement rise in her chest. Perhaps tonight would be the night she would meet the man who would love her. A man who could heal her wounded heart and allow her happiness.

These men would be from the country. Surely one of them would be a good match for her.

She only needed to give them a chance and certainly one of them would touch her heart.

Or so she’d hoped.

But it didn’t take Dorie long to concede defeat. If one more man bowed over her hand, expounding on her beauty, she might scream. Or collapse. Not that she was the fainting type. She’d been through much worse and remained on her feet. But she’d rather feign swooning than have to participate in such tedious conversations.

The color of her eyes had been compared to bluebells, the sky, and sapphires. Her hair was likened to raven’s wings, midnight, and ebony. She even waited while two men debated if her skin closer resembled fresh milk or cream.

So many times when she’d been captive at Baehaven she’d wished for someone to keep her company. But this was not the companionship she’d craved. Not fancy words said only for the sake of wooing her. Did other women actually fall for this sort of vapid nonsense?

As the men smothered her with compliments, she thought of Bryce and wished he were here to run them off with a few gruff words.

He wouldn’t waste time with fancy words. He would simply look at her in that hungry way she loved and show her with his body how much she pleased him. He’d lie next to her, kissing her until she couldn’t catch her breath and she was moaning with need before he came over her, his weight pressing her down into the bed, giving her a feeling of protection and possession.

And when she thought she wouldn’t survive one more second, he’d push inside her, with a sound of surrender. Her body would stretch to accommodate him, welcoming his—

“Are you well?” Harriet interrupted the best part of her evening so far. “You seem flushed.” Being the mother she was, Harriet reached out and placed a cool hand on Dorie’s temple. “Perhaps we should leave.”

“Nay. I’m fine. I’m just a bit overwhelmed with all the attention.” She offered a strained smile to the still-arguing men in front of her.

Her father gave a stern look and the men flitted away.

Did she really want a man who cowered away from her father? She preferred brave men who stood strong and fought for what they wanted.

Again her thoughts went to Bryce.

He hadn’t fought for her, and she knew the reason why. She hadn’t been something he’d wanted. “I’m afraid I’m not very good at this,” she admitted to her stepmother.

Harriet waved a hand. “I don’t blame you, dear. I’d forgotten how tedious this was. It’s all rather ridiculous really.”

“Did my father talk to you like this?”

That brought out a laugh. “No. Of course not.”

Dorie laughed, too. “I was having a difficult time picturing it.”

“No, your father did not offer any romantic words. He was much too practical for such things. He simply said he needed a wife, and would I be up for the task.”

Dorie’s smile faded. “You knew he wasn’t in love with you.”

“Not many marriages start out that way.”

“What about now?” Dorie waited as Harriet waved to someone and then looked back to her.

“I love your father, and in many ways your father loves me, too. I think he loves me more than he even knows. He doesn’t express it in words, but in his actions. He gets in on my side of the bed to warm it before I get there. He kisses me on the top of the head when he leaves the room. And he looks at me when one of the children do something that should be shared with a smile.”

“And that’s enough?”

“Dorien had a grand love affair with your mother. He was young and on a wild adventure when he met her and fell in love. Her death suspended those feelings for him, but—with no disrespect to your mother—we have no idea if their love would have remained as passionate as it seemed. The truth is, a marriage is not always passionate. It’s sometimes simple and comfortable.”

Dorie nodded, remembering Kenna and Mari and their relationships with their husbands. There was love in their eyes, but their days were filled talking about mundane things like which of the twins stuck a pebble up their nose or how Lizzy got the bump on her head.

“Do you think I made a mistake to leave Bryce?” Dorie asked. This woman knew better than anyone what Dorie felt.

“I can’t say. I never had the opportunity to see the two of you together. I’m certain it wouldn’t have mattered if he was perfect for you; your father would have found fault in the man and offered you the same escape regardless. I doubt he would find anyone worthy of you. It’s the way of fathers.”

“I thought it would be easier to find someone to love me than to make the man I love feel something for me. But I think maybe he did love me. In his own way. He never said it, and in fact told me he never would, so I believed that was the truth. But what if he didn’t even realize? What if I gave up my only chance for happiness in my quest for…happiness?”

“Be calm. There’s still time.”

“But that’s just it. Right this moment the signed annulment could be on its way from Scotland. My marriage could already be over.”

Harriet’s lips pulled up in a devious smile, and for a moment Dorie worried she’d been tricked by the woman into believing she cared. “The annulment would dissolve your marriage, but there’s nothing to stop you from marrying him again.”

Dorie blinked at the clever woman.

“But what if he rejects me?”

“He would have to be a fool to reject you. What with your raven-wing hair and eyes the color of—”

“Bluebells in the sky surrounded by sapphires.” Dorie rolled her eyes.

“Yes, quite.”

They laughed together and went to find the viscount so they could leave. Dorie was never going to find the man she loved here. For he was back in Scotland, and she was going back to spend her life with him.

An hour later they left for home. Dorie wished for silence as she thought over her options. She’d wait until morning to ask her father to take her back to Dunardry.

Her wish for silence went unfulfilled because her father asked about the men Dorie had met and if any were a candidate for a potential new husband.

“I’m afraid not, Papa.”

He frowned. “I thought as much. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right. In truth, they might have been lovely. I truly think it’s me.” Her plans for waiting until morning fell away. “I don’t think I belong here.”

“Of course you do. It’s only been a few months. We’ll cast a larger net. I know—”

“Dorien,” Harriet said with the authority of a noblewoman. “Listen to your daughter. She’s telling you what she wants.”

“She is?” He looked at her. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. What did you say? I must have missed it.”

“I want to go home.” The words came out in a gush.

“I’m sure I would have noticed if you’d said that.” He frowned and shook his head.

Dorie patted his hand. “I’m sorry. I know you had plans for me. But in truth, I want the life I had. I was happy there.”

“He told you he couldn’t love you as you deserved,” her father reminded her.

Not that she had forgotten.

“But he did love me in the way that he could. He might not ever say the words, but I know there’s something there in his heart. And I let it go because I thought love must be some big glorious thing. But sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s simple, yet just as wonderful.”

Tears started down her cheeks. All these months she’d cried because she hadn’t been wanted. This time it was for the loss of something she’d willingly given up.

“You’re exhausted from talking to all those ninnies. We’ll speak in the morning and decide what to do. Rest tonight.”

She nodded, not just to appease him, but because it was good advice and she was tired.

It was nearly midnight when they arrived home. Her father helped her down as a shadow moved closer to the carriage. In the light from the lantern she saw a large man approach and gasped in surprise.

“What are you doing here?” her father asked.

Bryce bowed in front of them and stood there, towering over all of them. “I’ve come to ask ye for your daughter’s hand in marriage.”